₦airaland Forum

On my way back from a trip the other day on a cruise boat, there was this lady I sat with on the boat. Pretty and well endowed, but throughout the journey she was looking moody and somehow unhappy. Like someone so deep in thought. And while I was busy going through my phone, I noticed she was also finding it difficult to catch some nap, like most people usually do whenever they're travelling on a cruise boat.
Seeing the way she was, I decided to talk to her and see how I could help ease her pain or anxiety. That was how she finally opened up to me, and told me the reason she was making the trip and why she was also feeling uneasy. And guess why? She was coming to see/meet someone (a man) for something, and getting the thing from the man, wont come on a platter of Gold, except she also drop something in return (you know the thing nah). She had a serious need and that was why she was going to see the man. And that ordinarily, she wont have agreed to his terms. According to her, her situation was just like being between the devil and the deep blue sea. And that she was somehow stuck in the middle of nowhere. Coming to meet the man was her only and last alternative to raise the money she urgently needed. I did my best to help lessen her worries and also discourage her from going further with her audacious plan to raise money. Tried to make her believe and also have faith in God, as the only solution to all situations...
Cant say if she eventually took my advice or not, cos I didnt bother to collect her number and haven't seen her after we parted ways upon getting to our destination. What I'm trying to point out, is that there're people whose hands are usually forced to do some things they wouldn't have done or thought about in the first place. Atimes, it could be a need for school fees, funds for business, accommodation, hospital bills, help for siblings or even for a close friend. Sometimes, most girls go out of their way to get help or raise money for a particular need. And no matter how hard they try to prevent their hands from committing 'sin', the hand keeping out as if there's a force pushing it to go ahead and do the deed! In situations like this, we should only put our hopes and faith in God, and not on man or anybody. Cos in most cases, there's always a price to pay or a condition to meet when getting help from man.... So, why not ask and depend on God, our father in Heaven...One with the unconditional love, one who answer prayers and is always there to help us...

Lack of love make People Do What They Do…



Prostitution…Misinformed.
Kidnapping/Ritual money…Evil
Armed Robbery….Laziness
Violent/Abusive Partner…insane
Run Away Father/Husband…Coward
Unfaithful Man…Greediness
Unfaithful Woman…Confused
Exam Malpractice…Fear
Corrupt Leaders/politicians… Wickedness
Troublesome person…Inferiority complex/lack of self love
Fraudulent…foolishness.
Drug Addicts…Weak



1.Prostitution…most girls go into prostitution or ‘runs’ because they are misinformed. Some of them do it because they think that’s the only way out of poverty or means of meeting their needs, while others do it thinking it’s the only way to get back at the society or someone. Failing to realize that working hard and becoming successful is the only weapon needed to fight against your adversaries.
2.Kidnapping/Ritualism….its only an evil man that’d think of doing any of this or go into it as a business venture. To take a life or inflict pain on other people is an evil act. A act from the pit of hell. And the soul of such person has been sold to the devil. Making him or her to lack human compassion, sense of reasoning and also the fear of God.
3.Armed Robbery/Stealing…They are nothing but butt sitting, arms folding and lazy bunch of people, who don’t want to do anything but steal from others. Only to blame the society or someone else for their misfortune.
4.Abusive/Violent Partner…Any man that’s abusive or violent towards his wife or girlfriend needs to be checked into a mental institution. Because that’s the only place and means of diagnosing what could make someone to be violent towards those they claim to love.
5.Run Away Father/Mother…He’s a coward, who cannot stand the pressure or commitment of fatherhood/partner. He lacks the willpower, strength and faith to work his ass off and provide for his family. And in the case of a woman, she's selfish and still a baby, hoping or depending on others to carry her burden for her.
6.Unfaithful Woman…She’s confused, and not really sure of what she wants or what she’s doing. Such a woman ends up more confused and unhappy despite being unfaithful to her partner/husband. Because there’s no joy in it and it’s not a solution to any situation at home.
7.Unfaithful Man…He’s a greedy man, who wants to ‘sample’ or sleep with anything in skirt, despite having a wife at home. He’s so greedy and never satisfied with one woman. He wants more and more. And he’s always looking for more.
8.Exam Malpractice…Most times, people indulge in it as a result of fear. Fear of failure or afraid of what people would say should he or she fails his/her exams. So, in order to overcome their fears, many of them put all their hopes on exam fraud, failing to realize that the only weapon needed to overcome their fears, is by studying hard and leaving the rest to God to handle.
9.Corrupt Leaders/Politicians… It’s only a wicked man that will be eating while his entire household are starving. It’s only a senseless and vicious minded politician would want to loot senselessly without thinking of others or his community. And majority of those in government are like that. They’re bunch of wicked, selfish and greedy people, who only think about themselves, their families and cronies, while the rest of the population wallop in object poverty and lack. They are the ones wrecking the nation.
10.Troublesome/Wicked Person…Most wicked people are wicked or troublesome because they feel they are not loved or lack belief in themselves. Internally they also don’t have love for themselves and tend to pour out their anger and ‘rejection’ on others.
11.Drug Addiction…They are weaklings, who lack courage but depend on drugs for succor or resolutions.
12.Fraudulent…They are foolish, because they think that’s the only way to make money or get out of poverty, instead of using such skills for positive things. Those that created Facebook, twitter, Instagram, Skpe, Microsoft, Globacom, Dangote Company etc, don’t have two heads but one. And are using their special skills/talents to change the world and touch lives. They too can do the same.

Use your God-given talents to change the world and make life better!

Have you ever felt like this before, even as a married man or woman? You are married but atimes you feel so lonely, emotionally or physically. Maybe your spouse stays in another town/state cos of work, or is hardly at home cos of business, leaving you and the kids alone at home most times. Or you sometimes feel emotionally detached from your spouse. even when he or she is around, you still feel lonely or distant from the person. You most times crave for something else or for an adventure with someone else. Feeling lonely physically could be excused and worked on, but the emotional one is an issue to ponder about. Cos when a man or woman start feeling like that, I guess his or her love for the other person has ran its course. And most times, its usually difficult but not impossible, to savage such a situation...

Yesterday I saw something that really got me thinking. Normally, you find mostly young wives or newly married ladies displaying, showing off or wearing both their wedding and engagement rings. Hardly would you see a middle age woman of 45 and above, still wearing a wedding ring or both of them all the time. Cos most married women that age, must have misplaced theirs or have them tucked away somewhere at home. But yesterday, I. Saw one proudly wearing both her wedding and engagement rings on her finger. The woman should be in her late 40s or early 50s, and was wearing her ring like a 'queen'. I was kind of surprised and had to look at her finger twice just to make sure. I guess, she's still keeping the faith. Don't get me wrong, but I know what I'm saying...women and men,who have been married for more than 10 years, I hope your wedding rings are still intact *wink*

Maga First Class...

This is when a guy is going out with a lady who treats him anyhow, beat him atimes and makes him do her laundary for her. He cant quit the relationship, cos he loves her dearly. and among his friends, he is a laughing stock cos of the way his girlfriend treats him. Though she also loves him, but cant help treating him bad and making him look like a 'maga' before their friends. And funny enough, there are guys like that. Everyday, their girlfriends insult and slap the living daylight out of them at the slightest provocation. such girls handle the account or money of her boyfriend. she controls him, choose his friends for him and also tells him where to go and what to do. Mind you, they dont use jazz to have control over their guys, its the guy that's just foolishly inlove with such a girl... such love or relationship is called hard love...love wey no dey look face or love wey no get feelings. and in such a relationship, its the guy that wears the skirt, while the girl runs the show.

Got this from someone (a lady) and decided to share the story on Nairaland. Hope we will be able to learn a thing or two from her story/experience...

Apart from being very close,my twin sister and I do share a lot in common. Went to the same school but were in different depts. Both of us and our two younger brothers had passion for acting and the movie industry in general. But cos of my husband, I later dropped my interest soon after I got married. Cos due to some personal reasons of his, and out of my love and respect for him, he made me promise not to have anything to do with acting. But on this day, I reluctantly went with my sister to a movie set for casting without the consent or knowledge of my husband, only for him to know about it that same day and sent me packing afterwards. Having given him my word not to have anything to do with acting or the entertainment industry.
But it was my sister that caused the whole thing. if I had known, I won't have gone with her. I was only happy to see her making some progress in the industry and wanted to share in her joy and also have a first hand experience of how things are done on a movie set. When I came back that evening, my husband didn't say anything to me until very early the following morning when he woke me up and shockingly asked for a divorce. At first, I was shocked, speechless and motionless when he said it, but later made an attempt to explain everything by lying to him about my whereabout the previous day. but was cut short when he told me he actually came to the movie set after trying to get me on phone unsuccessfully, when he come back from work and didn't see me. He was able to locate us via one of his friends, and left quietly after seeing my sister and I being casted for a role. All my efforts to make him have a change of heart were futile until he evetually took me back to my parents' house, knowing fully well I was already three month pregnant for him.
Now, we are divorced, my parents are not happy with me nor with the situation, my sister and I are sober, I'm lonely, and full of regrets. and also saddled with a five months old baby to cater for, while my ex husband is about to get married to another girl. See what my sister has caused. See my life.

This is when a guy or a girl is always eager to date someone that looks like or share some similarities with his or her ex. or when someone tend to always compare her current partner with her ex. This kind of attitude is usually common with some people. Especially those that still have some kind of attachment or feelings for their ex. They always find it difficult settling down or dating someone that doesn't look like or have the same personality with an 'unforgettable' ex lover. And this could be in form of his or her looks, her likes, kind of clothes or shoes he or she likes to wear. places they used to go to together, movies they used to watch and the kind of food they usually eat while they were dating.
That's why you find some guys trying to make their current girlfriends look or bahave like an ex they are still obsessed with. but give and take, they end up wasting their time and ruining their new relationship cos of their reluctance to 'let go' of their ex. and its not only guys that does this, some girls do behave like this too. such girls foolishly try to date guys that look or share some similarities with an ex they are still crazy about. especially if it was the guy that dumped her. they do their best to make their current guy sound, behave or dress like their ex or someone they have a crush on. like having a crush on Wizkid, Dbanj, Ramsey Noah, Uti Nwachukwu, or Idris Elba (top Hollywood actor), and wanting to date someone that looks like any of these guys. and also trying to make her guy dress or bahave like the person.
There are girls with such fantasies. and their type dont stay long in any relationship. cos they are always trying to 'find' their ex or someone that looks like David Beckham. Only to end up hitting blanks (X) all the time...

Baby

boom is when every guy in the entertainment industry in Nigeria is now
becoming a father out of wedlock. Today it's Ice Prince, tomorrow is
MayD, and next tomorrow it's Tuface or Timaya. everywhere you turn,
girls are now having babies for guys without getting married, as if they
are competing or in a race to beat their biological clock. true, true
naija no dey carry last. And its even a thing of pride to most parents
nowadays, whenever their daughter or son have a baby out of wedlock.
they hardly scold such a daughter or son these days, like they used to
do in the past. but now, its an opportunity for some parents/families to
rejoice, celebrate and also throw owambe parties for the mother and
baby. no wonder alot of single girls are now becoming baby mamas these
days...without shame but pride.

This is when a guy or a girl is dating someone with questionable character, either by omission or by commision. For, we do have people who are in a relationship with a bad person. I'm not talking about a violent or irresponsible lover/partner. I'm talking about dating a bad person to the core. someone who derives pleasure in being bad, and who joyfully inflict pain (emotionally or physically) on others. Like dating a criminal, a prostitute or a wicked man/woman. Most times, it's in the village we find women that are married to wicked men. Men that're involved in all sorts of diabolical acts, trouble makers and wicked in all their actions. These type of men snatch other people's properties, use 'jazz' on people, create problems in a family, instigate men against their wives or siblings, manipulate, lie or use dubious means to have their way most times. And some of them are as wicked and mean as the characters usually played by Nollywood actors such as Pete Edochie, Osofia, Chinwetala, Emmanuel France, Victor Osuagwu etc, in most of their movies. And coming down to the ones in the city, theirs is usually centered around crime or having dubious characters most times. Such as dating a yahoo-yahoo guy, a criminal, fradulent guy (419), Area boy, troublesome person, or a petty thief. And we do have girls who are dating such guys. some are aware, while others are either suspicious or unaware of their guy's dubious or wicked character. And not a few of these girls are stuck in such relationship either out of fear or by being played emotionally by her bad boyfriend.

While in the case of a bad girl, hers is either when she's a trouble maker, petty thief (those ones they call kleptomaniac), vicious minded prostitute (those ones that steal/rob their clients), steal from her parents or boss to give to her boyfriend, or plan with her boyfriend to rob/dupe people. These type of girls are usually found in the city. While in the village, we can find such people among married or single women, who enjoy causing trouble both at home and outside, derive pleasure in the pain or downfall of others, plot evil against other people, are diabolical, troublesome, steal from others sometimes, some of them are wicked mothers-in-law, and are as wicked as the characters usually played by Nollywood actresses such as Patience Ozokwor (Mama Gee), Camila Mberepe, Chinwe Owoh, etc. And its so unfortunate, that those that are married or in a relationship with such a person, are usually helpless in most cases. Though, some are hopeful, while others do their best to make such a bad/wicked person turn a new leaf. but its never an easy task. except the person wants to change or through divine providence.

So, my dear, if your guy or girl is either a bad or wicked person, and you cant change him or her, or the person is not willing to change, abeg find your level before it's too late. cos its not every evil lover that can be like Bonnie or Clyde (i.e doing bad to others only). And if you're married or in a relationship and you notice your partner is gradually turning into a bad or wicked person, abeg carry Bible begin preach/talk to him or her. cos, atimes some people tend to show such characters later in their relationship or marriage. so be on the look out, and do your best, out of love or concern, to make your partner be on the good side...

This is the story of a guy and a girl who decided to get married after dating for a long time. They did their traditional, court and Church wedding respectively. They were a perfect match/couple before everybody, as the bride grinned and smiled all through. But unfortunately, her joy, hopes and dreams were cut joy few months into their marriage, as the couple started having issues. their home became hot and unbearable for both of them. and before you knew it, the husband later divorced her less than a year into their marriage, despite all the efforts made by his wife and some persons to save their marriage.
The guy gave lots of excuses but refused to tell anyone the actual reasons for his action. All he kept saying was that he was no longer interested in the marriage and that the girl wasn't the one he wanted to marry in the first place. You can imagine, after dating for years, and doing all the necessary things to marry her. only for him to start singing another song after the wedding. All her tears, pleas and promises simply fell on deaf ears, as the guy went ahead to divorce her. sending her back to her former status as a single lady, just some few months after their wedding. She's now a single lady, but no longer a 'maiden' nor a fresh bride-to-be.
Imagine, after being taken, used and abandoned. Tell me, where is she going to start from. And how'd she get another suitor to marry her, having done a traditional marriage before, with all the ceremonies, noise and people that came to rejoice with her. which face or mouth is she going to use to stand before her people or go through another traditional marriage again. which man would want to marry her, without getting to know about her past. where would she go from here. how is she going to start all over again, after being married and dumped...questions would be asked, many would blame her and some would simply avoid her, whether she's guity or not. But why must she suffer or go through such a humiliation. why do men atimes, foolishly rubbish their women. and while she's going through the humiliation alone and finding it difficult to move on, it wont be the same story for her ex husband. cos it's usually easier for men than women, when it comes to remarrying and moving on...

I really feel for girls in similar situation. who are innocently accused or sent packing from their matrimonial homes due to the selfishness of some men...It's a cruel world. and life is not fair at all!

The cause of the break-up between the on-screen and off-screen couple (of Twilight fame) is a typical example of what can happen to any girl or guy who is not yet exposed. its like when a girl is homeschooled, or did her elementary and secondary education in her village. and have lived all her life in her village. seeing and meeting the same set of people everyday. and knowing and having a particular guy as her closest friend, while schooling or living in her village. but by the time the girl is fortunate to leave her village to go to college or relocate to the city, once she start meeting new people especially guys, she's bound to forget her village boyfriend or be tempted to get 'involved' with another guy, as an experiment. that was exactly what happened to Kristen when she cheated on her boyfriend Robert Pattinson. she didnt do it cos she doesn't love him. she did it cos she wanted to experiment. taste someone else, having been with one particular guy (Robert Pattinson) for a 'long long' time. she met a new guy and fell flat for him. the rest is history. now she and Robert are no longer together, after tasting the forbidden fruit.

It can happen to any girl that's not yet exposed. But once her eyes open, she'd start speaking another language, and pretending not to know any of her old friends again, as well as her village boyfriend. especially when such a girl gets into the university. They want to experiment, confirm some of the good lies told them in the village by their mothers, taste this and that, or crave for more exposure. and so many guys have lost their girlfriends like that. that's why some of them usually find it difficult to encourage or support their girlfriends' desire to further their education. cos they know once she gets into college, that's bye-bye to their relationship. e dey happen. and such a thing usually happen too, when someone (a girl) is not allowed either by her parents or aunty to go out and play with other people, go to parties, have a boyfriend or do those things other girls are doing. but once the girl gets the opportunity, she would definitely end up becoming worse than others... due to some certain reasons.

These things do happen...and that's exactly what happened in the case of Kristen Stewart. she still loves Robert, and wants a second chance. but the damage has been done. cos she's now exposed!

You're a guy, and you have a good girl, who loves you, cherish you, doesnt cheat on you, &who has ur back, but you keep cheating on her, ignoring her, rubbishing her love, & preferring to hook up with other girls. I pity you. Cos you'd be losing an Angel, the day the girl decide to walk out of ur life for good. So, if u hav a good girl, pls treat her well. Love her and make her proud before her parents and family by doing d right thing...cos, to find such a girl nowadays, hard pass mathematics...

And,

If you're a lady & you've found a man who loves u so much & wants to marry u. or you hav a boyfriend who loves u, doesnt cheat on u & who values u so much, please try stop all ur waka-waka or jumping around wit other guys. Dont throw away a priceless opportunity, for one with a 'price'.... A bird in hand, they say its better than four or more in the bush. Finding a good guy or a man willing to be committed, no be beans...so, be wise and be good!

Fading Glory... She was a sweet girl, whose hand was sought after by many, but one after the other she turned them down...As she strode on, like a queen on the catwalk, dating this and that guy, breaking hearts and wrecking homes along the way, while living life on the edge. She had no mercy for penniless or struggling guys, nor for those with prospects. As she wined, dined and hooked up with big guys that had mint in the wallets. She carried her beauty on her head, and never for once thought it would one day fade with the wind...well that was in the past, now fastforward to the present, as the once upon a beauty queen, is now a shadow of her former self. with nothing to show for all her adventure, except for memories of a wasted past. now, she's all alone, lonely, sober and filled with regrets of how reckless, selfish and greedy she had been in the past...aging as the clock ticks faster than before, she has no man to even call her own, neither is she sure of finding any...with a receding hairline, a bad image, a rough skin, an empty account and with no friends to call upon, when all is doom and gloom...for a girl that once had the whole world at her feet, and men craving to pay her fees then... but not anymore.



There are girls like this, who in their youth like making yanga and rejecting suitors, so as to live large. only to regret their actions later, when there is nothing, not even a husband to call her own...with her beauty gone and aging by the day. now looking for love, which she never gave when she had the chance and the world at her feet. My advice to everybody is that we should endeavour to do what is right at the right time!

Let me say something that has been bothering me for long. And it has to do with our attitude on facebook. It seems some of us have carried our tribal differences to facebook. if you check some people's profile on facebook, you will only see friends from a particular region (same tribe) on their friend list. as you're bound to find an Hausa person having or adding only (more of) hausa people as his friends on facebook. same thing also apply to an Ibo person or Yoruba person. people are adding and having friends from their tribe or geographical region. Facebook, is faceless, and shouldn't be tribalized like we do with most of our things in Nigeria. dont know why ibos will be adding only ibos, yoruba will adding only yorubas, hausa will be adding only hausas, niger-deltans will be adding only niger-deltans, akwa-ibomites will adding only akwa-ibomites, etc. Even some relationships initiated on facebook are most times influenced by tribe too, e.g yoruba guys asking yoruba girls out, or Ibo guys toasting only Ibo girls on facebook). you dont use only maggi or salt to prepare your meals. you add curry, pepper, onions, fish or meat, palm oil/groundnut oil, you put this and that to make your food sweet and balance, shey? so, please add and make friends with people from every parts of the country. One Nigeria! One Love!

Is it right for a lady to chase and ask a guy out. The desperation among some girls these days to find a suitor or partner is becoming something else. some girls virtually do the 'toasting' and wooing nowadays. they take guys out, pay for their meals, take them out for shopping and keep pressing them for marriage. shoo! e don reach like this. in other parts of the world like America and Europe when a girl is like this (i.e keep following, monitoring or pressing a guy for a relationship), its called stalking. and some do get restraining orders against such people. but over here, you cant do anything about it, when a girl start crying and begging a guy to date her, sleep with her or marry her. some follow guys on facebook, twitter, yahoo messenger, and on bbm. all they want is a guy's love.

Imagine throwing yourself freely at guys in a period like this, when alot of guys are now turning into heartbreakers. Ladies should set their piorities right. know what they want and work on their piorities. Even if getting married is among your piorities, that doesn't mean you have to force any guy to love, date or marry you. please dont cheapen yourself before any guy. You're a woman, and should act like one, for crying out loud! Let guys do the chasing, while you (the lady) do the chopping.

This is when someone is married to a man or woman who sometimes and subconsciously wishes him/her dead, so that he/she can move on with their lives. We do have people with partners (spouses) like that, but unfortunately many of them aren't aware...sometimes, such thoughts are usualy common in a marriage where the couple is always fighting, quarreling or having financial challenges. Most bad wives usually have such thoughts towards their hubby, so that dey can move on, start afresh or remarry. While others might have such a mind set, if they're in an abusive/violent marriage. Even in relationships, some couples are like that too. Especially if a partner feels he or she is stuck with the other person against his/her wish. And as a result, either of them could harmlessly wish for a way out of such a relationship...a cheating partner is usually prone to such thoughts, either out of guilt, fear or desire to move on with someone else...May God prevent us from having such a partner...in JESUS name.

Why do some couples later get tired of each other. This thing is always very common among couples in a relationship or marriage.. when a partner could suddenly lose interest in the other partner, and before you know it, they start drifting apart gradually.

And ladies usually do this alot, since they are known to fall out of love quicker than guys in most relationships. citing lost of interest, compatibility or lack of love as the reason for such an action. and this is also one of the main causes of divorce or seperation among most couples...getting tired of each other. I begin to wonder, how can a couple who were so much inlove, and inseparable a while ago, suddenly get tired of each other before the cock crows. And come and see how love atimes, could turn into resentment or hatred between a couple who were once madly inlove. That's why I'm asking the question, why do we get tired of each other in a relationship or marriage later. why do people fall out of love suddenly when everything seems to be in place. Nice job, fine house, enough cars, faithful wife or hubby, lovely kids, successful businesses, properties here and there etc. Then what could be cause? or could it be as a result of lack of romance/intimacy, doubts or distractions (like getting attention or interest from other persons)? which is possible, cos any of this could be the reason. especially if one of the couple is getting serious attention or interest from another person. he or she would definitely start having doubts about his/her realtionship or marriage.

And there are those who are in a loveless relationship, but may decide to stay in it, in order not to offend or hurt the other person, to the detriment of their own happiness. that's why most people end up cheating on their partners. once the interest or attraction is no longer there, they are bound to be unfaithful later. Just like when a man or woman is no longer attracted to his/her partner due to some factors, its bound to cause cracks in their marraige. and most times, such a development could be due to emotional, material or psychological reasons. Psychological reasons especially, since we live in a vain world. Cos, almost everybody wants to be with a fine man or beautiful woman. and once the beauty of the other person start fading, some might start losing interest in the person. this thing do happen alot. especially if the union is not based on genuine love and the foundation of that marriage is not solid. cos I cannot imagine a couple that is genuinely inlove, that has the fear of God, and are also genuine believers, go through such an experience. dont get me wrong, it can happen to anybody. for we are all humans. and almost every couple faces some challenges, but it is how they are able to resolve them amicably that differentiate some couples from others. some allow issues to get out of hand first before running from pillar to post for solutions, while others simply seek the face of God in situations like this. There is nothing in this world that would last forever definitely. but with God, you are bound to overcome the challenges of life...for God is love, and His own love is everlasting.

@Abujafood, Thanks, and noted. though the title was meant to cover the bad belle among women and girls generally.

Girls are known to dislike themselves naturally, both intentionally and unconsciously. Even in some homes, we do have sisters who are jealous of one another and tend to quarrel among themselves alot. How much more girls from different homes and parents. such bickering among girls is usually common on campus especially among room mates or coursemates. where female students do their best to run down one another for little or no reason. atimes, hatred among girls could be due to a guy (boyfriend snatching mata,) textbooks issue, failure to pay/return borrowed money/items. etc. Some of them do quarrel or start dissing another girl(s) once they noticed she dresses better, uses the latest mobile phones, has enough rich friends or connection, or has better grades than them. anything could trigger hatred among girls on campus.

And girls are usually unnecessary jealous of one another, most times over nothing. cos its their way. and they backstab themselves alot. some do theirs openly, telling you to go jump in the lagoon, while others do theirs behind your back. and these ones are the deadliest. cos after they eating your food, borrowing things from you, sharing your toiletries or borrowing money from you, they would still be ploting, doing or saying bad things about the person. Girls are their own worst enemies. you dont need an outsider (a guy) to make girls start hating one another. they are naturally competitive. that's why most of them do their best (even if it means sleeping around) to own the latest smartphones, drive exotic cars on campus, date fine/rich guys or sugar daddies, and also mingle with A-list artistes. all those girls you see snapping pics with Wizkid, Naeto C, Dbanj, Tuface, Ice Prince, Jim Iyke etc, are only doing it to 'show off' and also prove to someone somewhere that they are not in the same class. Girls do this alot, and you know it.

And coming down to the married women angle, you and I know that there are some married women who also do this. these ones usually dislike any woman or girl that her 'spirit' doesn't rhyme with or who they see as being arrogant and too proud for their likening. Small thing could make some married women to dislike a girl or another married woman. it may be due to her sexy looks, her accomplishments, her way of dressing or lifestyle. Or if the other woman is more beautiful than them, or married to an handsome/more successful man. And if a girl is always seen with all sorts of guys, some married women are quick to label the girl a useless girl, an ashewo etc. and there's nothing one would say or do, to make them change their mind or opinion about such a girl. and some of them dont like seeing any young pretty girl around their husband. any attempt made by their hubby to get friendly to any of these young sweet girls is usually frowned at or prevented by some wives. they see every single lady as a potential threat. some married women even go as far as preventing any of their unmarried female friends from coming to their house often. is not that they dont 'trust' their husband or their friend, they are only being smart and cautious. shey you know nah. and if you are living in a close estate, this is where such jealousy and bickering are usually common. as you're bound to see ladies or married women keeping to themselves, minding their own business in the open, while going behind to gossip or spoil other women in the estate/neighbourhood. some of them snubb themselves, force themselves to be friendly to others or put up a fake smile whenever they see their fellow women. and funny enough, such women dont miss sunday services or any church program. they are always the first to come to church or attend church programs, but are not willing to love thy neighbours as the Lord commandeth. you can imagine!

Women/girls naturally are so competitive, they ought to participate more in politics or in TV game shows, where their competitiveness would be put into proper use. the bickering among women and girls is just too much and too obvious. they dont even know or like to code or hide it, unlike men. Some of whom are known to be professional hypocrite. who behave like a rat, that blows air on your toes, while biting them...But truth be told, this kind bad belle is not good at all, and should be reduced or eradicated completely! its possible, if we are willing.

LastApostle: Instead of wasting your time here writing epistle to nairaland, convert this rare talent giving talks on marriages and counselling for a fee to young and married people desirous of a change in their relationships.

Thanks. and noted

In this part of the world, whenever a lady is marrying a guy, she should have it in mind that she's not getting married to the man alone, but also to his family. And this has always been an issue with most wives. Especially when it comes to the issue of having a nosy mother-in-law.

Most ladies look forward to getting married and having the full love and attention of their husband. but its only few of them that take their husband's family into consideration before and after the wedding. we are africans, and not oyibos (white people) whose interpretation of marriage has to do with only the husband,the wife and kid(s). Any other person or family member is usually not in the picture. Unlike what we practice here in Nigeria, where a wife must be ready to accept and embrace every member of her hubby's family including the ones in the village, whether she likes it or not. and most times, they're bound to be in her face all the time, and even having more influence in her home than her.

And this is where most wives usually have problems with their mother-in-laws, if she's the nosy or troublesome type. but there is nothing a lady can do about it. Cos you can never know the true characters of your inlaws to- be, before getting married. and if you are married to a man who has a stong tie/bond with his family, his love for you may not be enough to protect you from the fangs of his family members if you're not that loved or accepted by them. that's why some wives go out of their way to please their inlaws, something they wouldnt want to do on a good day. but being an african man, family comes first to most men. and when I mean family, I'm talking about his extended family members. they dont joke with their mothers and siblings sometimes. That's why a wife to- be, must be prepared for the challenges ahead. cos waiting and looking forward to getting married, is just a tip of the iceberg, compare to what marriage really is, when it comes to an african setting... but come o, how can a woman be at peace with her mother-in-law? for, I find it hard to accept that all mother-in-laws are as mean as most wives would want us to believe. there should be some good ones nah...Abi no be so?

I dont really know how they came about this saying, but truth be told, this is exactly what has been happening since when I was even a baby. For anywhere you go, preferencial treatment are usually given to ladies more than men.

Forget they are the weaker sex, men generally tend to be more disposed towards helping or granting favours to women than men. even a male family member (lets use an uncle for instance), might prefer to help a female stranger first before helping you that's his relative, if you're a guy. And if you're a guy and you're going for an interview with a lady, dont be surprised to lose the job to the lady. Not because she's more qualified than you, you're just in a society where ladies comes first in everything. even you as a guy, you do it atimes, dont you?. Dont you open the door of your car for your girl, sacrifice so many things for her, ignore your family cos of her sometimes, or go out of your way to please your woman. It's simply a woman's world. And there's nothing you can do about it.

There're also men who respond to ladies more than men when it comes to greetings. some men 'hardly' respond whenever a guy is greeting them. but if it's a lady, come and see how they'd respond to her with the whole of their hearts. We do have men who behave like this, some do it unconsciously while others do theirs intentionally. Especially the woman wrappers among them. It's a man world though, but Beyonce could be right when she sang ladies are the ones who rule the world, through their men. Abi no be so?

And there are some powerful men who have women they succum to, forget all their gra-gra for outside. for bedroom, they are like babies in the arms of their wives/girlfriends. We also have those who like helping 'only' damsels in distress. anytime they see a girl under the rain or stranded, they dont waste time in helping the lady. but if its a guy that's stranded or under the rain, o boy you're on your own. cos most men hardly help any man in distress. Since its always ladies' first! and looking at you, you no resemble woman for their eyes...

Laughter is indeed a very good stress reliever for most people, who really need some sort of amusement to cool their nerves or relax after an hard day's work. That's why comedians are smiling to the bank today, buying exotic cars and luxurious homes in choice areas and getting married to beautiful women (check out Teju Babyface, AY, Basketmouth and Elenu's wives for confirmation). Even heartless men can also be subdued via humour.

Humour also attract lovely girls to guys. Cos most ladies naturally like funny guys. with such guys, there's never a dull moment. And do you know humour/amusement could also be used to subdue anger and resentment among people. as well as being used to bring succour to people in a time of crisis. Just like what Delta State Governor Emmanuel Uduaghan did, when he brought popular Nollywood actors/comics Aki & Paw-paw to talk and also entertain those whose homes and communities in Delta State were ravaged by flood some time ago. And truth be told, it really worked. considering the smiles and joy left on their faces during and after the visit of this famous nollywood duo.

And even violent area boys (street urchins) can also be subdued via humour and some sort of amusement. speaking from experience, I have seen the power and the positive influence of humour/entertainment on street urchins known for their violent behaviour. This particular incident happened some time ago, when some of my team and I were fortunate to be part of the first ever Globacom TV commercial 'The Magic Ball' , which was shot somewhere around Broad Street, Lagos on a Sunday morning. You know how that area is and how these area boys used to harrass and torment people alot in that area daily. But on this particular day, the area boys didn't give us any wahala throughout the shoot. even though they were 'settled', they were happy watching us do our thing. they laughed, smiled, clapped,and even took part in chasing the 'magic ball' at some point, just to be part of the fun. they were amused, and they were subdued. cos everybody likes entertainment. everybody likes humour. even Hitler, Pharaoh and other vicious leaders loved and used humour for entertainment and relaxation...

when you're laughing, you forget about your worries at that moment...It's also a very good tool for effective communication, to promote love, peace and also create understanding among couples. and whenever your husband is watching a very funny comedy show on TV, that's the best time for a wife to ask her husband for money or favours...abi no be so?

Why do men, women and people generally get married knowing they'd still cheat on their partners later. It's an issue of great concern, cos of the way people crave so much about getting married. Is it cos of the status, or just to put on a wedding ring that has made it a must for most men and women, especially ladies. and despite the love professed and the vows exchanged at the altar between couples, many of them still end up cheating on their partners. Rubbishing the vows made on their wedding day.
It seems cheating has now been embedded into the institution called marriage. cos it's now becoming very rampant among most couples these days. it's now like a trend in our society. As many married men and women are now getting involved in extra-marital affairs without batting an eye. doing it without the fear of God, and the calamities that's likely to come upon them later. Cos, before it was more common with married men only, but nowadays even married women dont want to be left out. Alot of them have joined the bandwagon. And seeing how married men and women cheat on each other, I begin to wonder why did he or she get married in the first place, if he or she would still be cheating on his or her partner. or did they get married just to have a wife to bear kids and take care of the home for them, while he goes about philandering with other women, or is it just to bear the tag 'Married', or have a man put a ring on her finger, and still be flirting/frolicking and sleeping with other men...Abomination! Eyen ndi madu nemee these days, ona tu mu jo. Awon eda le pa eyan with their cheating habit (meaning, the rate some people/married couples are cheating on each other these days is becoming so alarming)...
Just like the American movie 'Why did I get Married' by Tyler Perry, a movie about Eight married friends, who were thought to be happy and fulfilled in their marriage, not knowing that each couple had lots of issues and challenges to contend with in their various homes. ranging from commitment, betrayer, drifting apart, finding love in the arms of another man or woman, losing interest in one's marriage, looking for an escape route, cheating on his/her partner, family planning, as well as having doubts. But at the end of the movie, we were made to realize the positive impact FIDELITY and LOVE could have upon the constitution of marriage. And when some see what others are going through in their marriage, they might be reluctant to get married. Forgetting that just like there's no man without challenges in his or her life, so also is the issue of marriage. cos there's none with a perfect marriage. It's only left for a couple to learn and know how to weather the storm together, protect their love and also be able to tackle/resolve their differences amicably, that's what makes a marriage to stand the test of time!

Rejection is like a sucker punch to Love. most people dont know how to take or handle rejection, especially when it has to do with relationship. Some cry, some get sober and withdrawn, while others take it to the extreme by being destructive or embarking on a murder-suicide mission. which is very common abroad, especially in Europe and America. where people tend to take the anger of being rejected on others. which could be as a result of losing a job, getting divorced/seperated from your partner, been cheated on, having a project or application turned down, or due to the feeling of not being loved by the society. when someone is going through a period like this, his or her eyes are literary closed while looking for a reason to be sad or happy. Though rejection could be very painful, but what people dont know is that when you're rejected, there's somebody somewhere eager to love and embrace you both spiritually and physically. cos there's always somebody for somebody, if you dont give up. And going spiritual, whenever someone is going through such a period, he or she could get succour/heal the pain with help from your Bible, talking to someone like your pastor, or getting involved in other things that would help take your mind away from the pain. you dont need a rocket scientist to tell you that soothing words, determination and God's love could go a long way in healing your pain... Like the story of a guy who was humiliated and later dumped/rejected by a girl due to his physical appearance. the lady in question wanted someone as handsome as brad pitt and with the body of Uti Nwachukwu. and the guy wasn't close to neither of them in appearance. and as a result the 'confused' lady had to dump the innocent guy. but as fate would have it, the guy later met another lady, who was better and finer than his ex. the new girl loved him the way he was (no mind his ex o. if you see the guy, him look no bad at all), and they ended up getting married. while his ex was still single, and still 'hoping' to find a brad pitt and Uti Nwachukwu look-alike. and there are so many girls like that. they based their feelings, approval or decision on physical or material reasons. that's why many of them are still single... forgeting that even if monkey no fine, him mother go still like am. abi no be so?

Whenever a girl says her relationship status is complicated, please believe her. Cos alot of girls are in complicated relationship. and many of them are the cause of it. Cos how can a girl be dating two to three guys at the same time, and wont have a complicated life. most girls are fond of double/tripple dating. cos , while in a relationship, not a few of them usually end up meeting and 'falling inlove' with another guy later. but instead of her to end the previous relationship, most of them would still want to maintain it, while dating another guy at the same time. only to make things worse. and you know how jealous, possessive or vindictive some guys can be, the jilted or about to be jilted loverboy may decide to get back at her by making life unbearable for the girl in anyway he can. Girls, should stop making their relationship complicated. love and life no be like nollywood movie... they should stop taking things for granted!

It's a common thing to hear most guys say they're single and searching. Searching for what or who? A girl, or girls. cos ladies are virtually everywhere. And according to the last census we did, women are more than men in this country. So, what are guys still searching for, when if you look left, right, back or front of you, there's always a lady smiling at you, winking at you or waving at you. or maybe, you are searching for a 100% good girl, a perfect lady. one who is loving, priceless, beautiful, a great cook or romantic? or better still, you're looking for a girl that possess all these qualities. you're looking for a perfect girl. Tall, dark, yellow, slim, orobo, graduate, business woman, a banker, an oil worker, a school teacher, a restaurant owner, an air hostess, or a police woman. A woman that'd be faithful no matter the circumstances, that wont lie to you nor be a burden, that'd be homely, respectful and responsible, hardworking, prudent, sweet and kind. Shey? or maybe, you're hoping to find a woman that has all these qualities to make your wife. O boy, you go tay as a bachelor o, if you're waiting to find a perfect bride. cos there're none! you may have to make do with the ones that are available. just look around and pick from the lot, not a slut but one that'd be a plus to you... And one more thing, I wish you luck in your search for love in 2013.

This is when a girl rushes into a relationship or marriage without knowing her guy well or noticing all the 'red flags' before plunging into the relationship. not a few girls have made mistakes when it comes to the issue of marriage or relationship. some are left with scars, regrets, while others are six feet below, too late to make amends. like the cases involving those two ladies who were sent to their early graves by their respective partners. while one was beaten and stabed to death by her husband, the other was bathed with acid by her estranged boyfriend and later died as a result of it. there are even many unreported cases of violent acts against women and girls in relationship or marriage. many of these girls are usually to blame for it. cos a violent man has always been one. all he does while courting you is to hide/conceal his real character and then start revealing them once he has gotten the girl. and instead of breaking up from such a person once he starts showing his true colours, most girls tend to remain in such a relationship or marriage until it becomes too 'late'. why remain in a relationship when your neck is under a knife. or your back is always against the wall. every now and then you are always carrying scars on your face, and having pains all over your body. simply cos you've allowed yourself to be turned into a punching bag by a beast who calls himself your boyfriend or husband. my dear, you better think twice before you lick ice. that's if he doesn't end your life by 'mistake' (like most of them always claim), you are bound to be carrying injuries or swollen lips every time. marriage and relationship no be by force. no wonder some ladies prefer to remain single in order to have their peace of mind rather than become a piece of meat....check out the guy you are about to date or get married to, before walking down the altar or going into a relationship with him. if you notice any funny or abnormal traits in him, my dear, quickly do a Michael Jackson and moon walk your way out of that relationship/marriage, fast fast, before it's too late! Dont cos of desperation or cos what he's giving (going to give) you blind your sense of reasoning. Your life and happiness is more precious than silver and gold...Hope someone is listening!

PS: And may the souls of those two ladies continue to rest in peace. Amen.

Any guy that steal mobile phones from girls or molest them is not fit to be called a man. the guy is even worse than a public dog. It pisses me off each time guys rob or molest girls. Imagine, stealing money or mobile phones from girls. Any guy doing this ought to cover his face in shame. what are they going to gain by stealing a phone, that they would end up selling as crab (at give away price)later. some give the phones they steal to their girlfriends. who only collect but never bother to ask the source of the guys' income or gifts. And when guys rape women or girls. they are worse than animals. worse than a filthy rat. and they should be castrated in public and their manhood given to dogs to feed on. what's the gain in it. what joy do you derive by forcing yourself on a lady. Love making ought to be an act between two consenting adults. And its not by fire, by force. why behave like an idiot by raping innocent girls out of fun or lust. Like what happened to that innocent Indian girl who later died, after she was gang raped, battered by some idiots and thrown out of the moving bus in India. those idiots will surely pay for their sins. everyday, innocent girls are robbed or molested by guys. who I believe are suffering from low self esteem. they are not man enough to get their own mobile phones (iphone, Blackberry, Samsung Tab, Nokia Lumia etc) or have a girlfriend, instead of looking for girls to steal from or molest. May God punish guys that are into such dirty, wicked and heartless acts. You have sisters and mothers. and you'd eventually get married some day and also have female kids, shey? dont worry, everything is tit for tat. the same way you steal, molest or treat other girls, that's the same way others shall treat your own persons. you think you'll always go scot-free. and that nobody is seeing you. dont worry, God is watching, and counting it for you. And one day, monkey go go market, e no go come back. The masses are hungry and angry these days. and jungle justice is the only langauge they understand and use to get back at the society. so, keep robbing or rapping girls. your cup go full one day...in the hands of an angry mob. aha, boys behave nah. why go out daily to cause pain, tears and sorrow in the hearts of others? whats the motivating factor behind this wicked acts by some guys. others sweat and work under rain and sunshine, from dawn to dusk, only for you to come like a thief in the night to rob, maim or molest them. And you feel, God wont deal with you? So, if they ask men to stand up or come out, you robbers of mobile phones, sex offenders/rapists, batterers and fraudsters would come out? Shame on you! you are like filthy rags. and worse than public dogs. for stealing from girls, or molesting girls. you're a disgrace to your family and future offsprings... You're simply not man enough!

Almost every relationship between a guy and girl is all about sex, sex, sex nowadays. No more waiting till wedding night...as lots of girls are now compromising due to one reason or the other. and guys are enjoying every bit of it. since most guys want to sleep with a girl immediately she says yes to his proposition (be it for marriage or relationship). They dont believe in waiting till when its right. they want to have it right-away. they want to know/taste what they are paying for. and girls are making it work that way. and once sex cease in a relationship, that's the end of that relationship. since most relationships are now built on sex. they've made sex the foundation, body and soul of every relationship. and once the foundation collapses or is shaky, the relationship is bound to fall yakata for ground...That's why most relationships dont last long. And funny enough, guys want and like it that way. since many of them are not ready for any commitment. And these days & most times, when a guy spins (woo) a girl, he's only thinking about sex. if na lie, ask am!

Ironically, a lady could be single cos of her good character. Yeah, it's possible. Cos as a responsible girl, she may decide to remain single rather than compromise. And we have good girls who have turned down guys due to the conditions attached to their love or marriage proposition. such as getting pregnant before marriage, indulging in pre-marital sex, or getting involved in some bad stuffs she may not be comfortable with as a well-brought up lady. We still have good girls who are determined to protect their dignity no matter the circumstances. They dont rush, neither are they desperate. and wont compromise their virtues cos of money, favours or crave for marraige/relationship. Like what most girls are doing presently. A responsible lady would prefer to remain single rather than soil her good name or the good name of her family. And believe you me, most times such a girl end up marrying the 'right' person. her patience, decency, belief and faith is bound to be rewarded at the end of the day. And the single status of a good girl cannot (and should not) be compared to the single status of a bad or irresponsible lady. Hers is due to her belief and principles, while the later (an irresponsible lady) is usually as a result of her bad character or waywardness. which is bound to scare guys/suitors away. And that's exactly what's happening with most girls...