₦airaland Forum

Mama Born Throw Way...this is when a girl goes about behaving like a lady that wasn't properly brought up or trained at home. becoming a nuisance to herself and to her immediate environment. we have girls like that, and when you meet/see such a girl you begin to wonder if she grew up at home or was picked and raised in the streets. due to her bad character and indulgence in other immoral acts. Just like a girl I learnt was given a nick name due to her amorous affairs with married men and bad personality among her friends and colleagues. and wherever she goes, her stories follows her like a shadow, as women promptly close their doors, girls hide their boyfriends, while others stares and talk about her in whispers. and funny enough, she doesn't give a damn what people think of her. to her...woman must wack!

this is when a lady or a guy keep changing partners every now and then while looking for Mr or Ms perfect. forgeting that time and tide waits for no one. just like the story of a girl who dumped her guy simply cos the guy wasn't up to her taste not cos of the size of his wallet but because of his looks and built which she didnt fancy at all. This is a common thing among some ladies. Most of them wants to date a Brad Pitt or Casper Smart (J-Lo's loverboy) look-alike. Fine guys with sexy biceps. But for how long would the 'fairytale' last? we have ladies out there who only go out with guys based on their fine looks and sexy built. if you are guy and you are not up to 6 feet tall and with a fine face, most girls wont want to date you. we do have girls like that. they already have a picture of the kind of man they want. and not a few girls have turned down so many suitors based on physical appearance, forgetting that good looks doesn't make one a good person or a perfect match. and its only when their age start telling on them, that's when you'd find some ladies bringing down their high standards and willing to date any guy that comes their way, just to increase their chances of finding a suitor. Looks aren't permanent. a time would come, when the person wont look 'perfect' anymore. what are you going to do? dont based your love on looks...

Love Like Zombie...just like the song made popular by the late afro-beat legend Fela 'Zombie' na so some folks be when it comes to the issue of love or relationship. Atimes, it's as if they are either remote controlled or under a spell. most times they do whatever they are asked to do by their significant other. Like sitting, eating, talking, behaving or dressing just to impress the other person. and there are many instances of love like zombie in most relationships or affairs. some of which are written below.

1. Love like zombie is when a girl only answers phone calls from other men when her boyfriend/benefactor is not there. but once he's around, she dare not, if she doesn't want katakata to burst for her head.

2. it's also when a girl behaves herself in the presence of her guy, but does the opposite whenever she's alone or with her friends. there are some boyfriends who are so jealous and wont like their babes to get too close or friendly with any of their friends. to them a mere hand shake could turn into an embrace if care is not taken.

3. Love like zombie is also when a guy cos of his girlfriend cant hang out with his friends like he used to, since he's always spending his free time tending to his girlfriend or watching E-news with her.

4. Love like zombie is also when a girl doesn't associate with her friends anymore cos of her boyfriend, as they're systematically 'erased' from her memory.

5. And this is also when a guy cos of his girl start dressing weird say na fashion, just to please her even though he finds it uncomfortable.

6. Love like zombie is also when a girl loves forming in the presence of her guy but switch back to her local traits once he's not there.

7. it's also when a guy uses his last money to buy Blackberry phone for his girlfriend, when he doesn't even have food at home or enough money to last him till month end.

8. it's also when a guy cos of a girl borrows his friend's car and also use a friend's apartment as his, just to impress his girlfriend when in actual fact he's squatting with friends and cant even boast of having a motorcycle talk-less of a car.

9. Love like zombie it's when a girl in order to impress a guy, likes borrowing clothes, bags and shoes from her friends, to wear each time she's visiting her boyfriend

10. it's also when a girl who is only used to eating with spoon, but while trying to impress her boyfriend is always fumbling with fork and knife each time they go out to eat.

11. and it's also when a guy who normally eats at road side canteens, is always taking his girlfriend to eat lunch regularly at Mr.Biggs. despite his lean pocket.

12. It's also when a man who doesn't show love or respect to his wife at home, behaves like a baby and like someone under a spell whenever he's with his girlfriend.

13. And it's also when a woman who doesn't take shit from her hubby, doesn't cook for him regularly nor attend to him, but she's ever soft, caring and loving to her boyfriend.

14. And love like zombie is when a girl out of love transfer all the money in her account into her guy's account, from which the guy now gives her weekly allowance.

15. it's also when a guy gives his monthly salary or car to his girlfriend to use while he uses public transport everyday.

Dont know if you all have noticed that most of the former housemates of past big brother shows are into music. Virtually all of dem are involved in music. Tell me, is music the only talent they have. And the worse part of it, is dat most of dem cant even sing. Big brother is not all about music or entertainment perse. While in the house the housemates are taken thru som socio economic issues to work on, or dramatized. So, why cant some of dem become an entreprenuer, a motivationa speaker, make up expert, work wit companies and help organize and boost their public spirited projects or depts. Must dey all go into music, music or entertainment perse. We have oda areas/fields (apart frm setting up an NGO, etc), they can use their skills and talents. They shudnt just focus on entertainment sector alone. Or probably fame dey sweet dem, na him make dem no wan comot for entertainment...

My verdict on this year's big brother stargame: Very disappointing! the whole thing started well, but along the line, it went out of steam. and I guess the pairing idea didn't worked out according to the way they wanted. And as a result, had to scrap part of the concept and just went along with the main thing. in other continents they may not mind going into a game show with dia partners and washing dia dirty linen on tv. But as for blacks, e go hard small. U no we blacks like keepin our secrets secret and private matters private. And next time Nigeria wants to send any representative to the game show, they shouldn't send cry cry girls to represent us. They should send strong ladies who can play it real like Lady May and not the type that would come on the show and be falling for every Tom, Dickson and prezzo. I'm rooting for Lady May to win it!

My verdict on this year's big brother stargame: Very disappointing! the whole thing started well, but along the line, it went out of steam. and I guess the pairing idea didn't worked out according to the way they wanted. And as a result, had to scrap part of the concept and just went along with the main thing. And next time Nigeria wants to send any representative to the game show, they shouldn't send cry cry girls to represent us. They should send strong ladies who can play it real like Lady May and not the type that would come on the show and be falling for every Tom, Dick and prezzo. I'm rooting for Lady May to win it!

When a guy is interested in a girl, he would do all he can to get her.


He would ask for her number,
And start calling her all the time,
giving her gifts,
stalking her (if he's 'mad' about her)
and professing his infatuation for her.
and once the girl start responding,
the calls and attention would start diminishing (in some cases),
and the guy will start feeling like a top dog.
And once he succeed in having his way, the girl becomes history if he doesn't fancy her that much.
and then he goes after another babe.

Most guys go through such a routine, and not a few girls have fallen for it. leaving many of them hearbroken, confused and desperate.

Abi no be so?

The post is talking about loving someone the way she is, coping with the challenges that might come and working towards making the relationship successful. Cheers!

I Had A Dream...I dont think this was the kind of dream Rev. Martin Luther King Jr fought and died for. I dont think this was the rights their fore fathers struggled and suffered for. And I dont think this was why hundreds of thousands of men, women and children walked, sang, were bathed, got beat, brutalized and bruised for. Seeing blacks killing blacks, doing drugs, living rough, swearing and promoting violence in their hoods. Martin Luther King didnt shed those tears so that a black man can indulge in drug/substance abuse, be more 'white' than the whites or drop out of college to be a gangster. See how prison yards are being filled daily with blacks, who are so happy and eager to do time, forgeting the blood that was shed so that they may have a future. I shed tears each time I think of the pain many black folks suffered in the past, so that every black man and woman would be liberated, seeing what blacks have turned into in America today. Now so deep in strange culture, doctrines and lifestyles. Their brutality and segregation couldn't destroy you, but see how easily you're being destroyed systematically via assimilation under the guise of civilization. Where is the Church of yore. That sang those sweet melodious and soul lifting songs. Christlike in nature and blessed with a Congregation that loved God. He had a dream, but not this kind of dream...

This is when a guy suddenly decide to end his relationship with his girlfriend so as to save his job, because of his boss's interest in the same girl and his constant threats/antics to make life unbearable for him at work. Unfortunately, this sort of thing do happen especially at places of work, when a particular boss start eyeing the girlfriend of one of his workers, probably after seeing or meeting her somewhere. and if the boss is a vicious and inconsiderate type, he's bound to start making trouble for the guy, just to intimidate the guy into allowing him to have his way. Some ogas do this, when they are suddenly blinded by lust. which can make them go after other people's wives or girlfriends. and in some cases, a guy could be cornered into letting go of his girlfriend, just to keep/safe guard his job. Like the case of a guy who was dating this gorgeous lady. Most of his colleagues knew them to be dating and planning to tie the knot later. But the moment his boss saw his girlfriend during an event organized by the company, he started lusting after her. and did all he could to snatch her from the guy. And when he realized that it would be difficult to make her dump the guy and date him instead, he started making life unbearable for the guy at work, so as to make him give up the girl. o boy, the issue wasn't easy for the guy o, since the salary and the job were very good. And considering the fact that, the guy really suffered before he got the job. He had to break up with her when the pressure and threats become unbearable for him. If na you, wetin you go do?

Dont expect a woman to be a saint before you marry her. just marry her like that! Yes, marry her and leave the rest to God. cos there's none that is perfect. Even you! But there's always room for improvement. You can go ahead and marry her, and work together towards making each other better. And if you are thinking your girlfriend or wife wont ever cheap on you or even think of doing something close to it someday, then you must be in fantasy island. the world is full of temptations. and we all are not excused from it, in one way or the other. you can only avoid/overcome it via the grace of God. And forget about trust in any relationship, if you dont want to die young or grow old before your grand father. If you think you can take a girl's word to the market or keep it safe somewhere, then you must be joking. just take her as she is. there's always room for improvement. Cos if she says A in the morning, she might be saying B or C before dusk. So, which one you wan believe? And aspa receiving calls from guys. she's bound to receive calls from anybody (especially from men), cos that was why she bought a phone in the first place. she didnt buy it as a decoration or for fancy, but to receive calls from whosoever. so, leave her like that. Men will definitely ask her out every week, so dont get provoked or jealous. you should even be proud that she's being chased left, right and center by other men, and yet she's still with you (atleast for now). and if no guy chases your woman, you yourself go begin worry or wonder, and even begin to doubt if she's even fine sef (yes nah). And if you like, lock her inside house 24/7, woman wey wan spoil or waka, go still waka. except you wan begin go market, cook, and go to church alone or do everything for her, she is bound to step out some how. Just marry/date am like that, and dont worry your head over anything. they are the weaker sex. and they are not only weak to men, but to other things as well. Abi no be so? Abeg, marry her like that!

This is when you finally make up your mind to call the bluff of a boyfriend or a girlfriend who hasn't been reciprocating/showing you love or care, who treats you like a trash, look down on you or cheat on you endlessly while daring you to do your worse. there're guys who treat their girlfriends anyhow, look down on them, flirt with other girls in their presence and always find it difficult to reciprocate their love. and we also have girls who take their guys for granted. who is fond of eyeing/flirting with other guys whenever she's with her boyfriend. like complaining alot, too demanding, treat him with less respect and sometimes pass him off as a friend only, before her friends. she doesn't consider him as a capable boyfriend. but stick with him just for the time being, while hoping for a better boyfriend or option. we do have people like that. and funny enough, they are always the first to condemn others when they are mean as hell. But its left for the one being maltreated and not loved to put an end to it all, by calling his/her bluff one day and walking out of such a relationship. moving on with his/her life and finding love elsewhere. And dont be surprised, that when such a step or decision is taken, you'd see the mean hearted boyfriend or girlfriend coming back to beg for a 2nd chance (to do what?). only to realize that the curtain has already being drawn on him/her. And if you're with a guy or girl like that, you better end the whole drama now and move on with your life. You deserve a better person. And trust me, you'd surely find him or her if you believe!

@Meee, just make sure you pay the site owner for the advert you are displaying on his site.cheers!

'Leaving' Without Love...this is when a guy or a lady decide to give up on love, having waited for so long without finding love. He or she might start having doubt of ever finding any, and this can also affect the person psychologically. giving him or her that feeling of rejection. we do have people that're in situations like this. in the area of a guy, feeling rejected he might resort to seeking pleasure from prostitutes and atimes pouring his frustration on them. he may also start having less interest in women, giving up on marriage or having a family. even if a wife is eventually found/forced on him, he'd only to consenting to it just to fulfil all righteousness and not because of love. While in the case of a lady, which is more critical. cos she might start having low self esteem, as well as the feeling of rejection. she may also start paying less attention to her looks or dressing. Believeing there's no need for that anymore. having not achieved much with it in the past. and sometimes, she may be sober whenever she's alone while pretending and putting up a cheerful face in public or in the presence of her friends. And atimes wishing she has a child that she can love and who would also love her in return. Some of the people that are usually in situations like this are those who have just gone through a bitter divorce/seperation, heartbreak or rejection. and those who aren't that lucky with love. And because of it, they may decide to to go solo for a while or permanently (depending on their state of mind or experience), prefering to concentrate on other things other than love. but no matter what, one'd definitely be in need of love at some point in time. For a life without love, is just like an empty flower vase. you're free to take a break...but never give up on love!

Why fall inlove/be with a girl who is madly inlove with another guy. Sticking around and hoping she'd come to love you later is just a waste of time. Cos you'd be doing urself a lot of harm than good, if not now but later. Same tin with a girl who is inlove/with a guy dat doesnt care or have feelings for her. But simply with her out of pity or cos of the 'pleasure' he derives from her. The best tin to do in a situation like ds, is to move on with ur life. You'd definitely find love elsewhere. Trust me!

This is when a babe beds a man in order to get a black berry phone or other favours from him. someone told me the other day about a friend of hers who went with a man to Abuja and stayed in an hotel with him for a week, so that he can buy her a black berry phone. luckily for her, she came back with a black berry touch beaming with smiles and proud to have a BB. You can imagine the extent some girls can go just to get something from a man. some do theirs to buy brazilian weave-on. and I bet getting such a money from a man for that, would require the girl spending months with him in a hotel. And doing this leaves some of these girls with both visible and invisble scars on their body. which many of them wont want to accept. you can imagine being made to sleep with this and that Alhaji, Senator or business man whom you dont know his source of wealth or true character. strangers from nowhere in most cases. just to receive one help or the other. girls una dey try o. And when a girl decide to be different from the rest, to work hard rather than sleep around for bread and butter, others would start seeing her as a fool. angry with her for trying to be holier than thou. And we also have those who feel bad atimes, whenever they think of what they've done/doing to get this and that. the 'rigours' they subject their body to everyday, and the dirty things they do behind closed doors with different men just to be where they are or have what they have...all cos of bread and butter.

How many girls or guys cheat on their partners and confess later nowadays? For where! if you're waiting for that kind confession, you go wait tire. Some do their confession after cheating on their partner, by being over nice to their spouse or girlfriend. by doing whatever she wants or ask him to do for her. and also by showering their partner with gifts or money to do some shopping (i.e. if the guy get money wel wel). and if the wife/girlfriend should dig deep enough, she'd discover that her boyfriend or husband don shit for church. And if na babe wey cheat on her boyfriend and con dey feel guilty (most of them dont feel guilty atimes), she'd be so loving and ready to give it to him anytime, anyday and anyhow, even if she's the type that does shakara atimes. But once she's feeling guilty for cheating on her boyfriend, she'd be sober and would want to use sex to cover up or compensate her boyfriend for what she did with another guy. And we have those who wouldn't want to make any demand whatsoever from their boyfriend or try to avoid him after cheating on him. A girl does this (avoid him for a while) cos she's afraid he might notice or suspect once he sets his eyes on her (yeah, it does happen like that some times)...so my dear my brother, most people hardly confess after cheating. they just keep quiet, filled with guilt and worried atimes. but hoping their partner would never get to know about it. Abi no be so?

Are Our Girls For Real?

I could remember the look on her face the moment I stumbled into her room that evening unannounced and saw her quickly put something that looked like boobs made with foam inside a bag. I was bemused and short of words when I looked at her and realized she was no longer busty but almost flat chested. where are the big 'succulent' boobs I asked silently, as she stood staring at me and not making any attempt to hide anything anymore...

There are many girls like Temi (that's the name of the girl), who do all they can to look their best, only to end up being fake. Everything about some of our girls is fake. From their eye lashes, to their enhanced lips, boobs and booty are all gotten either via some injection or plastic surgeries. They are no longer satisfied with their natural looks anymore. Some even pay by instalments or starve themselves just to buy brazilian weave-on to fix. Something that's worth more than 50 bags of cement. You can imagine.

And go to our campuses today, you will find many girls like that. You begin to wonder if they are in school to study or prostitute, while looking like a barbie doll. from their head to their toes, everything is fixed. Their artificial looks are even more precious to them than their books. As you see them fixing this and that and spending more time in the saloon and in front of the mirror than they spend in the class or with their books. Just to look like a nicki minaj. And most of them work their ass off or depend on their boyfriends or sugar daddies to buy/do all these things. What happened to being 'black' and proud. Proud of your colour and natural features. Why spend thousands of Naira just to look rather fake than beautiful. Who are they trying to impress when they are actually fooling themselves. From body toning, they are now into botox, artificial boobs and fake eye lashes like that of Goldie on big brother stargame.

And we also have those who now do tatoos on their arms and bum bums as well. You can imagine what our girls are turning into. They want to look more foreign than the oyibos (white folks). And when you meet and see some of them in the night, especially when they are about to go to bed. you will be surprised to see that they are completely different from the way they look in the day. Looking totally different and 'ugly' after removing all the various stuff on their faces, boobs, booty and nails. Imagine the stress they usually go through when applying/fixing those things and whenever they want to remove them. Tell me, are these girls for real?

I thank you all for your kind words and comments. And shall do my best to give you the best. cheers.

Things We dont do...there are things we dont do. and some of them are written below...

1. You dont wait for a lady to pay for your meal at the restaurant or take you out for shopping (you be small pikin?)

2. you dont pick your nose in public or without using an hankerchief.

3. you dont sneeze in public with reckless abandon. even if there's no one beside you.

4. you dont fart in public, especially if you are with a lady. No need to talk about ladies, cos we know ladies dont fart (shey?).

5. you dont eye or develop interest (most times its luct) in your friend's girlfriend or father's second wife (abi you no get respect)

6. as a lady you dont ask a guy to buy you take- away after paying for the meal you ate at the restaurant (some girls do this alot, claiming its for their younger sister or brother)

7. as a lady, you dont wrap your chicken and put it inside your bag, if you cant finish it while eating at the restaurant. you should just leave it there if you cant finish it. its a shameful thing to do.

8. you dont pee inside the pool whenever you are in a swimming pool (its disgusting). if you're pressed, kindly come out and use the restroom no matter how pressed you are. there was a guy that went as far as bathing in a swimming pool with a sponge and soap one day like that. he was immediately thrown out of the swimmming pool by those incharge of the pool. there is nothing naija people can not do.

9. you dont pick your nose and rub it on your palm. only to use that same hand to shake someone later. endeavour to use an hankerchief or tissue when picking/cleaning your nose.

10. you dont leave your tap running after using it. endeavour to close the tap properly after using it, so as to not to waste precious water.

11. whenever you are at home, you dont increase the volume of your radio/CD player as if you're in a club. even if you are alone or living in the forest. endeavour to behave like a normal person always.

13. you dont get back at a cheating partner by cheating on him or her back with another person. you are only doing more damage to yourself. when you do that, who is winning? you or your cheating partner?

14. you dont keep a lady at home as a wife when you've not gone to pay her bride-price or see her family. live-in lovers dey sweet some people cos of enough enjoyment.

15. as a lady you dont flirt with other men when you already have a boyfriend or married. its so downgrading. it makes you look like a cheap slut! Ashewo kobo kobo.

16. you dont use your finger to pick your teeth in public. ask for a tooth pick, or use water to rinse your mouth so as to remove the meat stuck in your teeth. and remember when picking your teeth with tooth pick, endeavour to cover your mouth like the way Balotelli's mouth was covered by his team mates after scoring a goal against Ireland (the yeye boy wan begin talk anyhow).

17. As a man you dont beat or lay your hands on a woman no matter how provoked you are. see how a guy recently killed his wife out of provocation. after hitting and pushing her to the ground, the woman just colapsed and died. just like that. so, learn to control your anger. a lady looking big and healthy, doesn't mean she's strong like a man. treat them gently, and simply walk away whenever you are provoked by a lady. before you take your hand enter wahala.

18. You dont have to be envious or jealous of another person's success. rejoice and be happy for him or her. for your own success is just around the corner. and dont try to copy what they do or how they got their money. for you never can tell how they got their money or wealth. before your curiosity and oju kokoro go put you for wahala. just be satisfied with whatever you have, while working hard and doing the right thing.

19. As a man dont keep several partners. forget what you see or watch on TV. they are all make believe. Aids and other yamayama diseases are real and deadly.

20. And if you are a married man or woman, stop going to chalets or hotels to sleep with other men or women. the day wey yawa go gas, na your head you go take carry am. either the person go yamutu for your hand or you go fall yakata for ground for hotel room. the law of karma no dey sleep o...

Testing A Woman...there're so many ways a man can test a woman just to know if she's good or bad or the right woman for him. Some men test girls via cooking (to know if she's a good cook). You know we have girls who cant cook but like eating out alot. these type of girls like eating fried rice and chicken with salad everyday. you find them at eateries in the morning, afternoon and evening. they dont bother to even use their pot for one day to cook or cook for their guy. everytime, its honey lets go to Genesis or Mr. Biggs and eat or buy this or that food (buy shawama). they dont even know if the guy might be testing her or noting this habit of hers. so, cooking is one important area most men test a wife to be. they also test women via neatness, organization and home management. we have men who would like to know if a woman is clean and neat, organized and knows how to manage a home before marrying her. they set tests for girls in these areas just to know how good they are. you know we have girls who are not organized one bit. they sleep and wake up anytime they like. even if they are working. they leave their dirty clothes anyhow and everywhere. they leave their undies and other things hanging everywhere. they leave half eaten meal on the table or in the sink for days without washing them. using work or tiredness as an excuse. we have such girls. especially in this time and age. cos back in the days, most of our girls were very hardworking, neat and they know what to do and when to do them. they wash plates, clothes and clean the house when its suppose to be done. they hardly leave today's tasks till the next day. they were very organized. that's why men rush to marry them those days. unlike what's happening now. so, men use this to test girls. and once they notice you are not clean, neat or organized they might decide not to marry the girl again, cos of this. a woman can also be tested via her manners. men always want to know if a woman is well mannered or not before marrying her. cos character matters alot when marrying a woman. if a man ends up marrying a woman with bad character, you're on your own. and anything you see later, its yours to carry. though some ladies do pretend to be good and sweet when a man wants to marry them. but after marrying such girls, they now show their real colour. many men have fallen for such a trick, only to regret it later. some are lucky to walk out of it alive while others live with it for the rest of their lives. so, men dont joke with it when looking for a lady to marry. character comes first. a woman can also be tested in the area of being hardworking and prudent. some guys can give their girlfriends some money to hold for them (which they might not collect from her again), just to test her and know if she can keep the money safe or manage it well for them. Girls usually fail this kind of test alot. especially those ones that are extravagant or tend to feel they must spend to look good (for their guys) always. and once a man notice you're not good with money or prudent, him go begin fear you. cos most men need a prudent woman by their side, to help them plan and manage their finances very well. and not those ones that would come and lavish it anyhow. since there are men who find it hard to be prudent (save money) and as a result, needs a prudent woman as a wife. and there are men who cos of lust for a girl, do block their sense of reasoning when testing a girl. once the girl is sexy or very good in bed but bad in other areas. they overlook her bad side and decide to marry her cos of her bedmatics. guys do this alot. some have married a girl cos she's sexy and good in bed. only to regret it later. cos such girls hardly make good wives. once they know a man is lusting after them and enjoys sex more than anything else in the marriage, they use it to have a strong hold of such a man/husband. And the other test and which is very important is taking a girl to meet a guy's family or mother-in-law to be. many girls dread this particular meet/test alot. Except for those ones who have gone through it before and have learnt from their previous mistakes. so, most of them go out of their way to be/look nice, sweet, godly and look like a born again before their mother-in-law to be. they even end up over doing things. just to satisfy the guy's mother. Cos we do have guys who do whatever their mothers ask them to do. especially when it comes to choosing a life partner. Like the film i saw recently titled " Heaven on Earth" where a mother was competing with her son's wife for his love and attention. her over bearing influence on her son had a negative effect on their marriage. she virtually turned the guy against his wife, made him a wife batterer and also intigated alot of quarrels, fights and problems in their marriage, before the battered wife finally decide to walk out of the marriage. we do have mother-in-laws like that. we call them monster-in-law. And girls generally dont like guys that are mummy's boy. they see such mothers as a threat to their own happiness, safety and comfort in their home/marriage. So, once a girl passes all or most of these tests, she's as good as becoming the man's wife. Except yawo con gas later...Abi no be so?

Look In The Mirror...aging in this part of the world is like a tug of war for most people. They dont like talking about it, how much more think about it. Some even get depressed as they age. And when I mean aging, I'm not talking about when you are getting towards 65 and above. I'm talking about when a man or woman is getting to 45 or 50, they tend to feel they are already old. Can you imagine? old at 45? that's even when most white folks rock the more. they feel more attractive and energetic when approaching 45 and above. But most of our ladies here tend to feel they are already old and less attractive to the opposite sex, when getting to that age. and whenever they see a young girl, some of them usually admire them while having flashes of their own youth. And we have those that are even ready to do anything to have their youth back, if its possible. and some women do cheat on their husbands with younger guys cos they see a younger version of their husbands in such young men or want to go through the same experience they had when they were newly married. still young, full of energy and zeal. They want to feel loved, chased and talked to like a young girl again. and some men do go after young young girls because of the same reason. Since their wives are no longer young and energetic like they were when they were courting and newly married (you know most women stop taking care of themeselves once they get married, start having babies and getting to 40 and above). they try to live that kind of experience again by chasing and having affairs with young young girls outside. they want to feel young again. chase girls and do those things they used to do while they were in school. And most people do what they can to feel or look young all the time. those that have the means go under the knife (do plastic surgeries), some use cream. while others use juju in order to look young. and there are those who live their youth or feel young again through younger people. by befriending or dating younger guys or ladies. They tend to see them as the mirror of their own youth...And aging is a psychological thing. A thing of the mind. And atimes aging has to do with what you believe in and how you live your life. Especially if you are a lady living a rough life ( having numerous partners, drinking, smoking and getting involved in other bad habits), you are bound to age quickly. Same with men too. but theirs is not that pronounced or visible like that of women. That's why its advisable for girls to mind how they live their lives, what they do and take into their bodies. Cos if they live anyhow, its going to tell on them later in life.

It's a normal thing for a girl to believe that once she's attractive or by enhancing her looks with enough make-up, nice dress, correct hair style, lovely shoes or designer hand bags she's good enough for any man. Good enough to be seen as a wifey material. For where! If na so, then all the beautiful single girls you see everyday, wont be walking up and down single and desperately looking for husband or eager to get married. Many of them are still single because of their bad character. For every man wants a good woman for a wife. Guys can date fine fine girls, but wont marry any girl that lack good character. that's why most times, whenever a man wants to settle down, he looks for a good girl to marry, despite the fact that he might have some girlfriends. But he may not want to marry any of his girlfriends but would rather go elsewhere and look for a good girl to marry. this is normal with most men. they date and 'chop' enough fine girls but when settling down, they start looking for good girls to marry. Cos to them, it's not beauty but character that defines a woman. Beauty do fade with time, but character is permanent. this most ladies funny enough dont realize. they spend so much on their looks, forgetting to work on their character or develop good attitude. which is what most men look out for when looking for a wife. So my dear, if you know your character is not good. please try and work on it. all these make-up, lipstick or expensive perfume and designer clothes and shoes wont guarantee you a husband. It would attract men quite alright and they would glady 'eat' from you, only to dump you later when looking for a woman to marry. A boyfriend/lover or sugar daddy is not the same thing as a husband/suitor. And dont mind those single girls that keep saying they have enough men on their case (as in toasters or suitors). They are only forming just to defend their single status...Chikena!

This is when a girl is using different kinds of slangs or body langauge to indicate something else when she is actually saying the opposite. Like when a guy approaches a girl for friendship/date, and she replies by saying "what do you take me for" probably the guy did the asking in the presence of her friends, or in an improper manner. Instead of calling her aside or doing it in a private place. She is not telling him not to ask her out, but to do it properly. And the other slang you hear alot from girls is the "i'm not that kind of girl" slang. When a girl says this, it doesnt mean she doent like wot they are talking about, but just dont want to admit it in public. We have girls that behave like this. Is not that they pretend, they are just acting like a 'normal' lady. Doing things in a proper way. And you know girls nah. They like forming alot. Abi no be so?

Back in the days, our men were said to be real gentlemen to the core. who conducted themselves very well and were also known to treat their ladies like a queen. they open doors for their women, take them out alot for shopping and to other social events. Spend quality time with their wives/family or girlfriends. And guess what? They hardly cheat on their women in those days (na true?). compare men of those days to the ones we have today. who claim to be more romantic and up to date, but hardly take their wives/babes out for shopping due to economic reasons (abi?). they also claim to have swag, style and know how to treat a woman better. if na so, then why are there so many heartbroken ladies everywhere these days compare to those days? The men of then, I heard were more loving and caring, committed and responsible (since they hardly deny nor run away whenever they put a girl in the family way), unlike guys of today. who dont waste time in denying/rejecting the girl or the pregnancy. And men of those days marry early and settle down on time, compare to men of today. who delay in order to enjoy their 'youth' to the fullest. Carrying girls and flirting about anyhow (no wonder we have a lot of single girls these days). So, where are the men of those days, men with lovely Afro hair cut, black shining skin, tight fitting shirt/trousers, with a lovely smile and a charming personality. and who are loving, caring and romantic in their own way. O brother where art thou?

This is when a guy (feeling on top of the world) is being pestered daily by several girls to marry them. as each girl does her best to win his heart and become his bride. but like a player that he is, he keeps playing and dribbling them, while breaking the hearts of many, as he keeps chopping girls and moving on..Same thing also applies to a lady, who is reluctant to get married despite the number of men/suitors that besiege her daily for marriage. And while playing some and ignoring others, she makes men cry like babies, behave like mumus or love like fools, as she carry on with her life as a hot single babe who is not ready or willing to become a 'slave' to any man all in the name of being a wife. we do have men or ladies like that, who aren't ready to settle down. some due to genuine reasons, others due to some ridiculous reasons. a typical example is a lady who works with a top telecom company, earns close to 500k every month, lives in a duplex in lekki, has about two nice cars, as well as some investments here and there. But settling down is the least on her mind, despite the number of suitors that have approached her for marriage. she simply doesn't want to be under a man. she wants to be free like a bird and enjoy her life without been told what to do, what to wear, and how to behave. some of them prefer to be single but long for a companion sometimes. So tell me, who is fooling who? What about a guy who is working with a bank, lives a nice apartment, has a SUV, and some nice amount of money in two differrent accounts, and to his family and friends he is doing quite well. but to settle down, na wahala. either he's afraid of commitment or doesn't want any woman to pin him down and make his life predictable...some men do feel that way. that once they get married, that's the end of their freedom. freedom to do what? abeg help me ask them...

Its with a strong heart I write this, as I look back to days, weeks, months and years gone by when things were alot better than now. when we fought the civil war to keep our Country (that's now disjointed), together, when our fathers also went to fight in burma for oyinbo man, when Iran & Iraq were on each other's neck, when 'unknown' soldiers invaded Fela's house, vandalizing both people and properties with reckless abandon, when the almighty soviet union fell like a pack of cards and when many thought prince charles would be king someday. since only a few ever thought the queen would still be on the throne till now. when we had so many sit tight civilian and military leaders, who until recently were untouchable. and when the likes of Mammar Ghadafi and Mubarak held sway in Libya and morocco. living large and doing bonga bonga. and when we had the berlin wall, american soldiers fighting in vietnam and bedding their women.
when we had a JFK, a Martin Luther King Jnr, and a Malcolm X, watched the cosby show eating UTC bread with sardin, loved an Atom ant and voltron the defender of the universe. the world was calmer when we were young and not as volatile as it is now. I love those days than this jet age. though I was small, I love the smell of then, than the odour of today. a world now polluted and under the threat of global warming. as Obama is ruffled and baffled by a disappointed electorates and an eccentric economy. while our own GEJ is dazzled and confused as our nation lives in fear and at the brink of collapse.
Brazil no longer rule the world of soccer anymore. Spain is now the latest and reigning song on every body's lips. if you are in doubt, you can confirm it from Italy. we dont dance to juju or fuji music anymore. neither do we listen to songs from the past. but now shake our heads and waists to crazy lyrics from skibanj, wizkid (our own justin bieber), Ice T, Omawunmi and terry g. the youth cant wait to become men, as they hush the old out of the way. too many gadgets everywhere, no wonder bombs keep exploding everyday. while we drag ourselves through streets and homes filled with aching hearts with daggers drawn, as couples now break up faster than those olden days records.
I knew of some good Bible believing churches then, but we now so many of them lining up every street and corners. some even claiming to illuminate, and using artistes to propogate & celebrate. we are now living in a crazy world, so fast many cant keep up with the pace. no wonder everything and everybody seems to be falling apart. I love it when we were young. though things were done slowy but in a steady manner. we had hatred then, but the love was more. look at the world now. what do you see? I doubt if you can see clearly, since the sky is filled smoke, and the ground covered in blood. as we kill and bomb one another into extinction. I really do love it when we were young. And can give anything to experience it all over again. compare to the world we live in presently...

Love is just like a coin. it has two sides. it can be sweet and also bitter. It can be clear and also also confusing. and it can be smooth and also rough. Take the converstaion (culled from the movie Notting Hill), between the couple below, as an example.





ANNA

"The fame thing isn't really real, you

know. Don't forget -- I'm also just a

girl. Standing in front of a boy.

Asking him to love her"



Many guys make the mistake of assuming most big successful ladies dont 'cry' or are not emotional. they feel such ladies usually dont have feelings or need for a guy. which is a very big misconception. dont be surprised (just like Anna indicated) they are even more emotional than the average normal lady on the street, and tend to crave more for a loving companion/true love..."She's just a girl, standing in front of you. asking you to love her like a normal girl"





WILLIAM

"I live in Notting Hill. You live in



Beverly Hills. Everyone in the world

knows who you are. My mother has

trouble remembering my name"



there are couples in a relationship like this. where one partner's higher status tend to intimidate the other partner. and this sometimes affect a relationship if the other partner always feel inferior.

Its with a strong heart I write this, as I look back to days, weeks, months and years gone by when things were alot better than now. when we fought the civil war to keep our Country (that's now disjointed), together, when our fathers also went to fight in burma for oyinbo man, when Iran & Iraq were on each other's neck, when 'unknown' soldiers invaded Fela's house, vandalizing both people and properties with reckless abandon, when the almighty soviet union fell like a pack of cards and when many thought prince charles would be king someday. since only a few ever thought the queen would still be on the throne till now. when we had so many sit tight civilian and military leaders, who until recently were untouchable. and when the likes of Mammar Ghadafi and Mubarak held sway in Libya and morocco. living large and doing bonga bonga. and when we had the berlin wall, american soldiers fighting in vietnam and bedding their women, when we had a JFK, a Martin Luther King Jnr, and a Malcolm X, watched the cosby show eating UTC bread with sardin, loved an Atom ant and voltron the defender of the universe. the world was calmer when we were young and not as volatile as it is now. I love those days than this jet age. though I was small, I love the smell of then, than the odour of today. a world now polluted and under the threat of global warming. as Obama is ruffled and baffled by a disappointed electorates and an eccentric economy. while our own GEJ is dazzled and confused as our nation lives in fear and at the brink of collapse. Brazil no longer rule the world of soccer anymore. Spain is now the latest and reigning song on every body's lips. if you are in doubt, you can confirm it from Italy. we dont dance to juju or fuji music anymore. neither do we listen to songs from the past. but now shake our heads and waists to crazy lyrics from skibanj, wizkid (our own justin bieber), Ice T, Omawunmi and terry g. the youth cant wait to become men, as they hush the old out of the way. too many gadgets everywhere, no wonder bombs keep exploding everyday. while we drag ourselves through streets and homes filled with aching hearts with daggers drawn, as couples now break up faster than those olden days records. I knew of some good Bible believing churches then, but we now so many of them lining up every street and corners. some even claiming to illuminate, and using artistes to propogate & celebrate. we are now living in a crazy world, so fast many cant keep up with the pace. no wonder everything and everybody seems to be falling apart. I love it when we were young. though things were done slowy but in a steady manner. we had hatred then, but the love was more. look at the world now. what do you see? I doubt if you can see clearly, since the sky is filled smoke, and the ground covered in blood. as we kill and bomb one another into extinction. I really do love it when we were young. And can give anything to experience it all over again. compare to the world we live in presently...

This is when girls go about sleeping with every tom, dick and harry that comes their way, for little or nothing. throwing caution and their dignity to the wind, all in the name of enjoying life to the fullest. and its very hard to find enough decent and responsible girls these days, since many of them tend to believe that the only way of getting whatever they want is by giving in to the advances/desires of men. And the 'good girl' tag has since being thrown into the trash can, as many of our girls are now 'open eye' and daring. and can outsmart any man if care is not taken. though some of them still crave to get married, but it's not a piority among many of them. who sees marriage as a trap, a cage or a foolish fantasy for dreamers. And having multiple partners/boyfriends is nothing to them, but seen as an opportunity to make more money, have more connections and experience enough enjoyment with different men (both married and single). And dont be fooled when you see their likes in church. For you will be surprised to discover that Salvation is the least on their mind. As many of them only come to church just to fulfil all righteousness and also get the opportunity to show off or hook a 'brother' in church. And such girls are everywhere. at work, they go after their bosses, male colleagues or any man that catches their fancy. while in school, they are those ones that try to hook up/seduce their lecturers for higher grades and other favours. And at home, they are known as the husband/boyfriend snatchers or home wreckers. Their type bask in immoralities and see decency as dirt. And as their likes continue to grow in number, one begin to wonder and ponder. and also ask the question..." O yea Woman of virtues where art thou?

Love is just like a coin. it has two sides. it can be sweet and also bitter. It can be clear and also also confusing. and it can be smooth and also rough. Take the converstaion (culled from the movie Notting Hill), between the couple below, as an example.

ANNA

"The fame thing isn't really real, you

know. Don't forget -- I'm also just a

girl. Standing in front of a boy.

Asking him to love her"

Many guys make the mistake of assuming most big successful ladies dont 'cry' or are not emotional. they feel such ladies usually dont have feelings or need for a guy. which is a very big misconception. dont be surprised (just like Anna indicated) they are even more emotional than the average normal lady on the street, and tend to crave more for a loving companion/true love..."She's just a girl, standing in front of you. asking you to love her like a normal girl"

WILLIAM

"I live in Notting Hill. You live in

Beverly Hills. Everyone in the world

knows who you are. My mother has

trouble remembering my name"

there are couples in a relationship like this. where one partner's higher status tend to intimidate the other partner. and this sometimes affect a relationship if the other partner feels inferior.

According to my dictionary a ruffian is described as a cruel and brutal fellow. You can imagine the word cruel or brutal. and when someone that's suppose to be a role model to others can come to the level of engaging someone in a public brawl or assaulting a guy or a girl in public. is that person worthy of being refer to as a role model. probably its more of do as I say, but dont do as I do. for most of our so called role models are bunch of cruel and brutal fellows when no one is watching. they insult, abuse and assault people at will, simply cos they tend to believe they are untouchable. most times, you hear stories of an actress or actor slapping someone or assaulting an innocent wanna-be actress on set. they go on doing things like this without being punished. cos they have foolish people in authority who are ready to protect or defend them any time, anyday. You can imagine a popular video director engaging in a public brawl and stabbing an innocent young man on set. over what? what about the popular radio personality that battered a junior colleague simply cos the guy was caught sleeping while on night duty. we've also heard cases of one actress or the other harrassing this or that girl or guy for taking pics of her or not showing her much respect on set. you can imagine how our local 'champions' tend to misbehave simply cos they are popular, over rated or have fans screaming their names. this harrassment have to stop. for crying out loud, they are role models and ought to conduct themselves well in public no matter what. And things like this do happen alot in our society at large, but many of them are not reported by the victims due to fear of being black-listed or further dealt with by others. I know we are all humans and could be provoked at any time. but to whom much is given, much is expected. imagine any of your fans, or those that look up to you seeing you conducting yourself so disgracefully in public either by engaging in a public brawl or sexually harrassing a lady, what kind of training or example are you passing on to them? that they can also do the same thing and get away with it? we are living in small world, my dear, my brother. and need to respect one another. you are up there, famous and rich, doesn't mean you can treat those beneath you anyhow.You are suppose to set good examples for others. And you should know that we are all humans and accountable to God. Lets love one another. cos love is what we need, to heal the world.