₦airaland Forum

I don't think oyinbo owes us any favour apart from the reparations for the evil of slavery and colonialism.The only reason why we worry about oyinbo being racist [b]is because we have not been able to make our own rules that suits us and define who we are as a people.We live by whiteman's rules and pace,that is why we tend to take everything they do [/b]and what they think of us seriously.

GBAM for the bold!

You are freed bro! May you continue to grow in wisdom.

Havilah93: In response to this thread created some days ago

https://www.nairaland.com/1561369/guyz-dont-ever-marry-girl


1. Sex is a powerful force that can destroy if not used properly

Like atomic power, sex is the most powerful creative force given to man. When atomic power is used correctly it can create boundless energy; when it is used in the wrong way it destroys life. Sex is the same kind of powerful force. Sex is a gift from God to give us the greatest pleasure, to help in creating a deep companionship with one's spouse and for procreation of the next generation. But if you play with this powerful force outside the bounds of marriage, it destroys you and those close to you.

2. intimate activity for young people arrests their psychological, social and academic development. Studies show that when young people engage in premarital sex, their academic performance declines and their social relationships with family and friends deteriorate. This is because adolescents are too immature to deal with the explosive sex drive and it tends to dominate their life.

3. The majority of women cannot enjoy sex outside of the bonds of marriage. The development of a fulfilling sex life needs the security and peace of the marriage bond. Premarital sex usually takes place sneaking around in hidden places dealing with the fear of being caught, the fear of pregnancy and feelings of guilt. All these (worrisome) factors undermine pleasure in premarital sex, most especially for women.

4. Virginity is to be given to the most important person in your life, the person you committed yourself to stay with forever in marriage Your virginity is the most precious thing you have to give to your spouse. Once you lose it, nothing in the world can bring it back. Don't lose something so precious in a thoughtless way.

5. Those who engage in premarital sex run a high risk of contracting one of the many venereal diseases rampant today, as well as losing their fertility. Not just AIDS, but other common disfiguring diseases like herpes have no cure.

6. Some venereal diseases have no symptoms and many couples discover many years later that they became infertile because of these diseases. Infertility experts estimate that 80% of today's infertility is due to venereal diseases contracted before they married.

7. The best and only method that guarantees 100% against AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases is to wait for marriage to have sex and maintain fidelity in your marriage.

8. Premarital sex breaks the 10 Commandments given by God. The 10 Commandments are given to man by God to make man happy. They are not outdated and they are not restrictive. If we follow these laws, we can create happy and prosperous lives. If we don't follow them, we will pay a heavy price in divorce, disease, abortions, illegitimate children and loneliness. Modern men make a big mistake when they think that they can break these eternal laws and not suffer consequences.

9. Premarital sex runs the risk of conceiving illegitimate children. Numerous scientific studies show that the children of single mothers suffer psychologically and are less successful socially and academically than children from intact families. Above all, children need both their father and their mother. It is wrong to risk having children who will never have their father's love, protection and care.

10. If you date and you don't have sex, you can forget about that relationship when you stop dating. But if you have sex with those you date and then break up, the nature of intimate involvement creates strong, often unpleasant memories for your whole life. Every relationship you break up where you had intimate relations is like a mini-divorce. The psychological difficulties of these mini-divorces does damage to your character. Later, when you are married and go to bed with your beloved spouse, these unpleasant memories will accompany you.

http://www.unification.net/tfv/tenreasons.html


True love waits. If a boy or girl truly loves you, they will want the best for you angry

What a whole load of crap!!

“Studies show that when young people engage in premarital sex, their academic performance declines and their social relationships with family and friends deteriorate. This is because adolescents are too immature to deal with the explosive sex drive and it tends to dominate their life”

So people who make the conscious choice not to marry because they have a different outlook on life concerning marriage, should never have sex?

The development of a fulfilling sex life needs the security and peace of the marriage bond. Premarital sex usually takes place sneaking around in hidden places dealing with the fear of being caught, the fear of pregnancy and feelings of guilt. All these (worrisome) factors undermine pleasure in premarital sex, most especially for women.

Even when it involves two consenting adults?

Virginity is to be given to the most important person in your life, the person you committed yourself to stay with forever in marriage Your virginity is the most precious thing you have to give to your spouse. Once you lose it, nothing in the world can bring it back. Don't lose something so precious in a thoughtless way.

It is either you love a person for who that person is or you don't. The person’ past notwithstanding! We all have a past. The most precious thing in any union / relationship is the individual’s well-being and happiness!! In the event you "think" that the core determinant of you loving a person is majorly based on whether that person has had previous sexual interactions or not, you should ask yourself if you REALLY love that person!

Lower interest rates? I don’t think so. Basically in economics, interest rates are tools to compensate inflationary adjustment, stimulate the economy or preventing the economy from overheating. This said, the other day I read that inflation rate in Nigeria had dropped to 8%. That will mean that interest rates must be above 8%. I was recently in Nigeria and I heard my bank manager inquiring about the rate some customer was charged on a loan, it was confirmed at 27% p.a.

The Nigerian situation is unique in itself and cannot be compared to what applies in controlled economies. There are a lot of undocumented fees (bribing govt officials, area boys, unstable building material prices etc) that goes into the issue of properties in Nigeria, thereby pushing up the end prices of properties. On the other, the Nigerian property market is less prune to bubbles as against that of the west for the following reasons: 1. Due to unavailability of a stable credit system (This can be seen as either positive or negative) Positive in that, you are only able to own a house in the event that you are financially sound enough for it. Negative, in that only a tiny percentage of the population will have access to the real-estate market thereby shutting out a large percentage of the population. Preventing re-distribution of wealth. The tiny percentage will also be strengthened in the dictation of property prices.

2. In the west where there is a credit system in place, and as the housing bubble in the US has shown (Which is the core cause of the current global financial crisis). There are loads of factors that influence the housing market: multiple intermediaries involved in securing credit, insurances, demand and supply, fraudulent valuation / rating agencies, abililty of other home owners to sustain / maintain the service of their mortgages (Not applicable to the Nigerian situation, since it’s cash and carry), unemployment etc

Every situation is different and my opinion is that we need to make our analysis based on prevailing situation in our different locations and our personal plans. I am in a very fortunate situation to own houses in both locations. But honestly, considering the drop in house prices in the west since the start of the mortgage crisis that later became the financial crisis, I am glad I own a tiny property in Lagos and even happier with it’s value appreciation as again the drop in the value of my house here. And I do not have a choice other than to keep servicing my mortgage, while the value of the property keeps dropping.

Very interesting topic of discussion guys, keep it coming.

I actually think oga Bugmenot has summed it up perfectly:

In all honesty, each system has its own advantage. We just need to take the best advantage of the system in which we find ourselves.

OMO! SEE TEETH grin grin grin

I haven't click on the video to watch but the set of teeth am seeing scared me off. Imagine how terrible it is now I haven't watch the video, what if I watch the video, that one na to throw my device away be that.


Well, see what frustration dey cause.

If she tear her Nigerian passport who cares after all it doesn't change the price of G in the market.

No matter ones condition He/She should take it easy. Whites are 1diots.

Is this really necessary? You are what you call others you know? Very inappropriate joke!

I went to the VSF Centre today to apply for my French visa, only told be told that the next available date for biometrics is the 13th of May, and that my passport will not be ready until the 23rd of May. A lot of people including myself just left. The lady actually said anyone travelling before June should try another Schengen embassy. I was just so shocked. What kind of new process is this that your visa will stay at the embassy for almost two months, all in the name of visa and the annoying thing is that, they might not even give you the visa after everything. Wetin we do French people. A times it really sucks to be Nigerian.

It does not suck to be Nigerian, it sucks that our government accepts/tolerates all these crap from those useless colonialists! Speak to someone who has applied for European visa in Ghana, takes only 3 days!

Your comment is coated with Hypocrisy and Double Standard... If it is parents responsibility to take care of children, it is also their responsibility to guild them as elders throughout life... It is absolutely silly and unproductive to assume that this old woman hates the wife in question or intend to give her own son problems or make his life miserable... Which mother would wants to do that?

You are definitely right, the op is having the time of his life with his present situation. That is why he is here on NLD seeking advise as to what he can do to make the situation persist.

Further, I am missing your comment in relation to the hypocrisy and double-standard in my earlier post concerning the fact that it's the parents place to provide their kids with the start-up tools in life. Amongst some of the sensible comments to this post is one in which someone said, that guys that are not ready to have their wives comes first before anyone else, should stick to their mums.

@op,
Maybe i am the old school type,But my mother comes first,no discussion,so please talk to your wife,she should see reason and accept mama as she is,(no disrespectfull tone,dont talk when my mother talk)believe me all problem will be solved.

Well, u come across as the old school type. lol. Well, so you are implying the mothers are always right? I wonder how such a mother would react if her daughter is faced with the same situation she is putting her daughter in law through presently.

Is it the mum's place to make her son's life a hell / miserable? Is that the reason she gave birth to him? If she gets her way on this issue now, next time it will be something else.

And some of these our African parents should endeavour to stop their blackmailing behaviours by making reference to breast feeding, feeding and putting their children through school. Whose responsibilities is it to take care of such if not the parents? And btw, the kids where not asked whether they wanted to be born or not? It's often out of their selfish idea of pro-creation.

@donpaulobig

that means i might not here from them again....is not fair they have to reply me so that i know the reason my visa was rejected again after i appeal it...if they do that witout letting me know their decision,that means france is not a democratic society......

Let your brother follow-up on the appeal process with the crazy people in Nantes since he has giving-in to their demand to write an appeal letter for Dutch application in French. There is a deadline period they should reach a final decision and inform your brother about this. I do not know the deadline for France. If they do not reacht a final decision withing the stipulated time frame, they will be subjected to some fine. They did same to my brother, I am not appealing (Not in French and not via Nantes). No way!! Applied for Dutch visa, had to put in application through French embassy, your application gets turned down for some vague reasons, then you have to write some appeal letter to some place in Nantes in French. I am following another route! But let you brother follow-up since he has started the appeal process in French and via Nantes.

@Omonaijada,

Check the below link. In case you not proficient enough in Dutch, have your girlfriend translate. It tells you about the process. Alternatively, you could go to the "gemeente huis" (municipality) of your city of residence.
They should be able to tell you since the requirements varies for different nationals.

http://www.rijksoverheid.nl/onderwerpen/trouwen-samenlevingscontract-en-geregistreerd-partnerschap/vraag-en-antwoord/wat-moet-ik-doen-als-ik-wil-trouwen-of-een-geregistreerd-partnerschap-wil-sluiten.html

My Dear, u don't blame Nigerians who seek spiritual remedy 2most of dia problems.......how do u xplain ds? A man went 4 interview passed the 1st stage,2nd stage and 3rd stage...was given an AP letter only 4him 2resume and was told they will get back 2him almost 2years now he never heard frm them. This has happened 2 ds same guy severally...and he has enviable certificate frm known sch abroad....
Or how do xplain A Lady who after marriage introduction, †ЂΞ suitor never comes back, she's counting 4suitors now
Or A woman who has been ill 4years and Doctors homee n abroad keep telling her Madam nothing is wrong with U,meanwhile she's dying gradually...
My dear sometime des more 2 what our physical eyes can seee

I guess that’s exactly the issue the op is attempting to address. Such things aren’t only specific to religious or non-religious people. We need to face the facts and issues of life with realistic and objective views sometimes. And not just ascribe our shortcomings / hardships to something that no one can or has been able to prove beyond reasonable doubt. In the process make ourselves gullible to some fake and heartless men of God, who will only compound the existing issues. Looking for escape routes or short cuts, never brings solutions to issues. I wonder how long it will take a large proportion of Nigerians / Africans to realise this. So if people turn their lives to religion, does that mean they will never have to face the daily challenges of life!? Dream on people.

Let me remind u dat some years ago ur coward yo-robber brodas on funeral processing passing through ladipo market started breaking nd smashing windscreen of vehicles packed along ladipo road, blaming them for road obstruction, the resultant melee that followed was beter imagined than told. The igbo traders gave them the beating of their life and at the end the corpse and the ambulance carrying it were burnt to ashes and 2 of ur brodas joined the dead corpse to eternity. This happend in ladipo lagos , u may verify. Let me tell u bastard that we are waiting for an opportunity to slug it out with u cowards and dat d-day may not be far. Its a promise!

Whaow! I guess you are carrying sooo much anger to be contained in one individuals system. Please have a glass of cold water, and try to chill a bit. I don’t have a clue how old you are, but please speak to people who have experienced war/s. And I am sure you will embrace peace and civil-co existence with 1000 times the passion with which you are promising to go to war now.

First thing first! Why must you violet d law in d first place! Fashola Govt are ONLY looking for ways nigerians could get those rules in2 their head n start doing something right when it comes to safety in our road! Please tell me! This actions is suppose to b taken by FRSC boss in d country! But they are just clueless human being who feels changing the plate numbers is the solution to the reckless driving in the country. After driving 4 then years in nigeria, I kw ao much it cost me to get a drivers license in the middle east! Cos their police are working and trying to at least set a gud mind set for every drivers on the road! Ensuring they understand d Do's n don't's ! I commend fashola Govt for a job well done. If auctioning of seized trucks wld make ppu seat tight then so be it. If am caught in the act, I don't mind to forfeit my car cos it wl serve as a lesson which I won't try 2 repeat again! Let who have ears hear! Eko oni baje o! To ba si baje, awa eyan na la wa nibe! Lo ba tan!

It is good that Fashola wants to put strict measures and punishment in place for traffic violators.
Oga, in law generally and in international conventions, there is always the clause of “proportionality”. I am with you all the way that violators should be punished and strictly too! But this is out of proportion. Yeah, you and your Middle-East, is that not the part of the world where they amputate peoples hands for stealing? Has that stopped stealing in their countries? And Fashola and his people should let us know how many cars of those VIP’ (Vagabonds in power) who drive ruthlessly, endanger innocent lives and cause loss of lives that they have impounded?

[b][/b]

The lady is such a spoilt brat. Her attitude is still evolving. But that's all? I could have damned the consequence. Me, think her other qualities should cover up for that . . .watch'ya think?

One of the respondents earlier said she no longer wants to celebrate "Drama" in her life. I don't think any dude that is well-balanced wld want to tolerate / celebrate the above drama even if the babe na American president, let alone a medical doctor. Even the Jeniffer Lopez' & Hally Berry' of this world, guys dey "sample" them and take off!

Actually I am with pleep on this. Isolationism, to an extent, would protect Africa from exploitation and rapid poverty. Why do you think some African countries have gold and diamonds n abundance, but almost none of them can afford gold chains. Don't you find it ironic. We are under selling our resources and our leaders easily sell us out when offered bribes from others. If you have gold, use it to make gold chains, electronics and consume it yourself. Self dependence is the key. We have the market, we have the resources, we have the man power and skills. What we need is a visionary leader to harness that and convert that to local products and improved consumption, and overall creation of wealth. Anybody that does not see anything wrong with our leaders' incessant quest (begging) for foreign investors is an astute mo*ron.

Well u need a mixture of technology and innovation to convert the raw materials to goods that will serve demand / fill gaps. There’s actually nothing wrong in selling to the world market if you ask me, so long the correct prices and going market prices are paid. But what applies is that few people are bribed to sell out our resources to foreigners at give away prices. The buyers injects a bit of technological modifications and re-sells back to us at hundreds if not thousands-fold of the price we have sold our valuable raw materials. For example Coltan (columbite–tantalite) is a raw material that is in very high demand. Without this raw material we wld not have mobile phones and lap-tops. This product is found in Congo, at locations controlled by the rebels with the support of the West. I once saw a documentary where single-engine cessna planes fly into these jungles to cart away these raw material at give away prices or in exchange for arms. What should actually happen is, we need to organise ourselves properly. We need to arrange to have these sort of raw materials “exchange-traded”.
Demand will meet supply in a transparent well-organised setting bringing about “fair” prices. Having noted the foregoing though and has already have been noted by a few contributors earlier, our problems goes beyond this. Let’s take Nigeria’s oil for example, it is exchange-traded and the price structure is transparent to an extent, but are we re-investing the proceeds in a way that will make us self-sustaining and less-dependent on external parties? No!
Before we start considering the isolationism line, we might first want to look at banning the importation of generators, build refineries, arrange that we have regular supply of electricity, refurbish our public educational systems etc. In this regard we can learn a lot from Brazil and India

Kidnapped by the K/Cabals
Reverse mode
Nation cursed with oil

Craze woman show u punny dis morning ni? abeg shift>>>>>>>>

Chei, see raaazz babe o. lol

@OP, even if his actions seem deplorabe to you, it would not be so wise for you to challeng him in public in the manner you said.

Extremists theists who do not think rationally are everywhere and you are very likely to suffer massive prosecution from them if you do such a thing.

Should this be a reason not to ask questions? I am not surprised at the state of thing in Nigeria presently, considering majority of the irrational responses to this post. If the so called Oyedepo will not be civilised, decent and modest enough to answer question posed to him by and individual demanding clarification on issues unclear to him, is he, Oyedepo then befitting of the respect bestowed / ascribed to him by a large portion of the Nigerian society?

I really feel for you in your situation. It’s rather difficult. I am really sorry to use the say the: “You apparently can take a lady out of the village, but you can’t take the village out of the lady”
As someone already noted, you cannot bring her in and expect her to shed all the behaviours / habits she had learnt and grown up with to fully embrace what applies in the UK. What sort of shocks me is that fact that this is someone you say you’ve been sending money to all along while she was back in Naija. You might want to use some sort of reverse psychology on her like: Seeing what she has seen now, imagine the tables were turned, she be in you position will she appreciate it if you will take same position she is taking now?
Someone was saying that you are trying to change her and that that will not work, it’ is sooo sad that you have to put sooo much efforts in getting her to consider the common interest and progress of you guys as a union. Well, in case she is not willing to integrate (adjust) she should have remained in Naija. If finance is causing you guys so much grudge, I wonder what will happen if someone came along who will be willing to fulfil her financial demands the way she is projecting them to you now. You guys need to set your priorities and try to meet each other halfway, she cannot be stuck in her Naija ways and expect to survive her new environment. She might also need to understand that life in this part of the world does not only revolve around money as it does in Naija. Her attitude explains / exposes part of the core problems we have as a people back home in Naija.

[quote author=Inked_Nerd]

Stop grouping us o! [/quote]Inked, I must say though that same thing came to my mind, but I has to refrain from generalising as you have rightly noted. But I must say though that the numbers aren't in your favour. ;-)

@Poster,
If you come from a background where you or your peeps aren't financially stable enough to own / buy a car, is that a reason to be stupid and toy with your life?

@Bolorufem,
Interest payments over deposits are often calculated over actual/360 p.a. Meaning that the amount of interest you get paid over your deposit p.a. will be devided by 360 days and paid over the actual number of days in the months for which you have deposited the funds with the bank. i.e. 500k at 6.5% p.a. over 1 month (30) days will be:

Amount        Interest rate p.a.   Number of days over which int is paid
500,000.00   6.5% p.a.               30 days

On 500k at an interest rate of 6.5% per annum over 30 days, you will receive an interest amount of 2708.34 Naira (for 30 days)

@Desmond,

I can categorically tell you that the information given by 2good so far can be considered as very satisfactory and on point!
I studied here way back, I graduated years back and the procedure keeps changing.
I am of the opinion that 2good is in a better position to provide up-to-date info on the current school admission procedure.
I am a Banker by profession, shld you have any questions on Banking or any general issues that have my interest, do not hesitate.

@2Good.

Hi, I live in NL. I have a few questions i'd like to asK you, I hope you don't mind.
I'd appreciate if you can drop me an e-mail @: lawijo@gmail.com
Thanks in advance and look forward to your e-mail.
Thanks

@Phipex

@Phipex,
I will try to paint a better picture of events and will be asking some fundamental questions in-between

No doubt, PMS subsidy would be removed sooner or later but the driver to this current move is IMF/ World Bank. With the leadership of Okonjo Iweala in the finance sector whose allegiance lies with the World Bank, she had to execute to the letter. UNFORTUNATELY GEJ is almost clueless on this matter and had to totally align to Madam Nigeria.

1)The decision to role out this hardship on Jan 1 was because of the visit of the world bank president, otherwise would have been Apr 1
2)Why did the subsidy amount increase from NGN400billion to NGN1.3 trillion under GEJ's administration when there was no significant increase in the subsidy rates and nationally consumed quantities?, because the 1.3 trillion was an inflated figure aimed at making a case that subsidy was unsustainable, even with the fraud in the downstream oil and gas sector, our annual subsidy should not exceed NGN450billion
3) From GEJ's submitted budget, Fuel subsidy was excluded; why was the savings to be re-invested also excluded? ,  because govt was not looking at re-investing any savings at budget preparation, its only a reaction to the resistance that met the policy , leading to my fourth point
4) If we borrowed to pay for subsidy in previous years which is no more sustainable, where will GEJ and his team get the 1.13trillion to be re-invested into the economy? ,  does he intend to borrow again for that? ,  for the records, this amount is currently not in the 2012 budget
5) Assuming the FG has excellent plans to re-invest its own portion of the savings (>400billion) which I consider absolute fraud, GEJ and his team has allocated >500billion for the state and Local governments (with their extremely corrupt structures)without penalties for non-implementation
6) If Nigeria is truly broke, why is GEJ so slow in trimming the cost of governance but quick to remove subsidy?
7) If the cabal is problem, why can't he prosecute them head-on as the commander in chief? Nope he can't cos he is one of them

To be sincere, this is all fraud either directly or indirectly. Until GEJ and his team stands up to fight corruption in all sectors, establish process and penalties, prosecute offenders and live by example, everything will remain a mirage. Every initiative and policy will be hijacked by a new cabal to their interest and he would also shy away from it as they are untouchables.

GEJ should treat the sickness and not the symptoms.
Fix the power sector before taking out the subsidy, in the mean time trim the cost of governance, propose cuts in the rates for the legislature, address corruption across board starting from his office

Quote

If I tell you that I can answer these questions, I will be a liar but am still certain that these are questions that NLC can table at the negotiation table and get a concrete answer after which they can come publicly to air their findings rather dwelling in ignorant speculations. Let us all look for how to hold our govt responsible for their promises henceforth, this could be our best opportunity to form a new ideology but lets remember that subsidy will do us more harm than good.

May the alimighyt bless you for the above simple and coincise analysis.

"Complexity is a failed form of simplicity!" Governance / leadership can be complex, but considering the natural resources and human resources that Nigeria possesses it should not be so difficult to put things in place that will work in a way that a large part of the citizenry will benefit from. Rather than what presently applies. But our myopic and greedy leaders make it seem like it's impossible. Of course they would rather maintain the status quo, that's where they acquire their wealth from and changing will mean they will not be having the easy ride to excessive riches anymore.
On the issue of removal of sudsidy & fixing electricity: There is a readily available technology that can be adopted to capture the gas that is currently being flarred in Nigeria and re-channel it to the production of electricity. Why isn't anyone in government looking into this possibility? It is not far-fetched and we have the finance to make it happen!

GTB Bank, I have rated you guys beyond not having a continuity procedure / back-up location to ensure operations continues even if it's at much less capacity than your customers are used to. Total shut down, whole operations grinding to a halt is not acceptable, moreso not at such a crucial period of the year. GTB Bank, step up your game o!

@Poster,
I will suggest you endeavour  to be the best in what you do first, differentiate yourself positively and quality-wise and the financial gains will come

This is the problem with the religious faithful. Here we have a man in authority battering a poor young woman and still people can see nothing wrong with it? Some even cheered. They cheered the public beating and humiliation of a young lady. The man battered the young lady after calling her names then proceeded to damn her to hell? And this man is considered as being a good man and a bishop?
This is an example of how religion warps people's moral sensibilities.

I wonder if the man hasn't come across people who claim to be sent from God or who are in fact, Jesus. If he hasn't, he could ask around for psychiatrists to tell him of such common cases.

Maybe what the young lady needed was some emotional support or psychiatric/psychological help instead, he does what ignorant people do. He joins them in tormenting and oppressing the vulnerable lady.

What a shame.

What more evidences do people need to see that these so-called religious leaders are big fraud? Nigerians you have been failed by your official government for decades and you allow yourselves to be abused and reduced to nothing by religious Charlatans! I find it difficult to phantom, does poverty equates senselessness!!!? As my man observed, this man resorted to public humiliation and battery, and he is being cheered and applauded!!??  A nation in perputal state of confusion! People open your eyes, it's not the end of the world not to be rich, but refuse to consciously allow yourself to be reduced to nothing. The hero / heroine lies in everyone. And the man even gets paid by the people he is abusing? hmmmmm,  Nigeria!?

Well Op,
Will depend what you and the guys in question are getting at. U did mention that you are getting attracted to one or two of them, is it physical or emotional? You know the score from the onset, in case you are looking for more than the physical and happy-go-lucky experience, then the writing is on the wall that you are taking a big risk. It’s up to you to weigh your options and consider if it’s worth the risk and the accompanying agros that are associated with it. Btw, you might want to analyse for yourself, what is it that is getting you attracted to these guys? Aren’t you able to find same in other guys that are available and not taken?
*wink-wink*

No don't do anything! Abi you said she took the call by 10:30pm while you were trying to arrange for love making. The next one will be by 11pm when you are already inside, and she will push you away to take the important calls that matter to her.
She knows that you can tolerate such rubbish that is why she is doing it anyway.
My friend, open your eyes. If they are open and you still seem blind, then use onions to wash them fast.
Guys, can you imagine your wives taking a call by 10:30pm and proudly/boldly telling  you to your face that it was their ex-guy that called. I hate to imagine the action that will follow.

You are sooo funny, but at least you make yourself clear and draw the boundary lines very clear too. Very important in relationships.

see English some words i have never heard of

It's a mixture of English and Latin!

@Basidon1

This has to be one of the most popular topics on NL! LOL.

The truth is that Uk is not Nigeria, things work differently (unlike Nigeria where you pay rent for 2 years in one go) It shocks people new to the system that they suddenly have to adapt. If you cant afford your place, then be useful in any house that accomodates u.

The family friend i first stayed with used to complain that i over-ironed my shirts and it would affect her bill (it was that bad). I had to mop the whole house before going to work every morning (OR she picks up the fone and complain to everyone back home!). I got used to eating rice and stew without beef to avoid hearing how the price of beef keeps rising.

But i did what i had to do till i could afford my own place cos i APPRECIATED the favour and I still do!!

Thanks a zillion for shearing your experience. You turned your life around with the assistance you got when u needed it, and you have not allowed the negative aspects of your experience to ruin your focus. To the pple groaning and moaning, there are no free rides! The only free rides you get are the ones you can afford yourself! If you do not position yourself to be "independent" of others, then whatever befalls you is yours. And complaining does not help or get you ahead, if you do not roll up your sleeves and get on with it. In case you think life or anyone owes you anything, dream on.

B) also many guys out there aint got nothing to offer women than gifts and outings where they pay for food etc. they have no communication skills, no "game", no qualities. they simply portray some false security (with their money), the same security that any women searches for. so in fact, they are just teaching women to be stingy and look for these "made men".

Nice analysis, the bolded part is very present and dominating in most black communities around the world. As is often said of leadership, could it be that these ladies get/attract the kind of “wrong” men they deserve? Having said this though, since there is no instruction manuals for what global variables should be present in a perfect relationship, how better placed are we to say anything conclusive on the relationship others? So long there is no apparent issue of abuse.

H) lastly, ask any 9ja woman (or her mother) what she believes is a perfect candidate for marriage and you are sure that his financial status will be close to the top reason (for the majority). in 9ja, most people dont value people or character, they value SECURITY OF LIFE. so money is like the password that you must show before you can be viewed as a potential mate. so if THEY (women) were generous, then they wouldnt be able to figure out if we were, or not, potential mates. you still following me guys? lol!

Psychologically, people are generally inclined to crave what they lack. In the Nigerian context, I guess what u referred to under (H) security of life, wld be basic things in the Western world i.e. Good education, proper housing, electricity, good and affordable healthcare system, being able to feed etc. :generally, things that individuals can use as good foundation on which to build a better future perspective and well-being. Unfortunately one needs to be in the possession of the right financial mix to achieve this. And in Nigeria, having the right financial mix is only available to a very small section of the populace, hence the large majority crave and chase this with high degree of desperation. This sort of projects how complex the issue of relationships can be in Naija context. What should u give and when? Is this partner genuinely in love with me for me or, ? there is also the issue of the partner’s extended family.
In the Western world, most women crave attention from their partner/spouse, since the other variables are often available to them.
And lastly, I am of the opinion that the most important reason one should give in a relationship is to express a “thorough gesture of affection” and not because you want to impress!