₦airaland Forum

[quote author=isha.salam]Hi,
Firstly, was she truly preggy or told you she was. Secondly, kindly confirm from your family doc if she still is preggy or not. If all has been confirmed and she truly did abort the baby, then she is not fit to be called a wife. Period.[/quote]I can't say 4 sure if she was! She just had the symptons of being pregnant and was increasing getting lazy and feeling sick. She believes she was and hv to purge hersef of it if there was any chance she was.

She doesn't have the right to take drugs without my knowledge. That was way too spontaneous for she to be my wife.

Princess zoe: Do you really mean to commit adultery? Holy Jesus. So you expect your marriage to be all rosy without a challenge? So you cannot stand your ground to fight the problem and challenge that entered your home? Are you trading your headship in your marriage with the devil? A head is a protector and a fighter, are you actually selling that right to adultery? Am sure you know what adultery can cause for you? You may need to prepare yourself for divorce; unsettled home; permanent lack of love; immoral children or even financial turbulent. You are about to invite the devil to come and take total per-eminent in your home. From your post, you sound as if you have ventured into it before and you think that spiritual consequences of adultery cannot bring this problem of you dragging with your wife over having what some homes are lacking(children), yet you are about sailing again. Ignorance is a slow killer. Between, will you have the face to pray to God again? What will you tell God? My wife pushed me into this? It was a mistake? No, you signed the warrant and purposely choosed that path. Of course God will forgive but you will reap the seed of adultery you have sown, that is the hurting truth people don't know .

Physical and spiritual consequences of adultery are still affecting majority of homes even homes where the couple have said no to infidelity. Trust me, you don't want to do this for time shall come when you will pray to change the hands of time in order to amend your deeds. I will love to see you enjoy the glory of God upon your marriage, that was why i came back to paste this second message. Remember, for things to get better, you must get better and not worse. Your choice.

I understand what u mean. I hv been fighting from day one.I hate adultery but I also feel abused.

This action just capped it for me. She always tell me she is cut out for single life. I always rebuke her. It disturbs me however. It is well and fine I don't mention food throughout the day or wen I cook 4 her. I am a bad husband if I ask.she just specialises in eating junk and conflakes and she makes only for herself.
She tells me she loves me above all things yet my fluid dare not touch her during coitus else I get the silent treatment. I have to get them to my hands everytime. Its killing my sexual drive 4 her. She doesn't care anyway. Seexx is not her thing. She loathes cuddle. We have to sleep apart most times.

She is wired different from me or from any of my previous relationship. Taking drug to purge hersef of any imagined seed gives me the worries that she cud purge me out too one way or the other.

I intend to divorce her. I rather stay unmarried. What am I saying? She has divorced me in her mind. She just find it difficult 2 let me go. The truth is that I need a second wife and I will sure get.

jidegirl12: @Princess Zoe .. You're too nice as usual.. Trying to convince a grown aśš married adult from fornication.. Let him go ahead and do it now. God is watching you with His BiG eyes OP .

Like I tell my friends Marriage is not for Cowards! Your marriage is how you make it.

I dey vex

It sad how people take one sin above the other! Yeah, fornication is bad but so are other unwholesome actions.

I didn't mention fornication in my post.There is a divorce option. And marriage is not how u make it. Some of our best are never good enough. So do I sulk on like a baby and be kicked around?

Thank God you hv got an understanding partner. You may not hv possess any better skill than those ladies who left theirs.

mysticgal: welcome to marriage world

I am very positive person. If not, I would considered mysef unlucky. I won't because I have long known life is up and down and is it not also do and die.

I can only try my best. Marriage is not forced.

I have a question 4 u:
What is expected of a man in modern day marriage? I feel I belong to the last generation. Do man asking for a food make him needy? Does he hv to make food himsef?

Kanwulia: Sorry you are hurt and angry, but it is HER RIGHT TO DO AS SHE WISHES, MARRRRRRRIED OR NOT!

No woman should be made to incubate and birth ANY offspring from A DESPICABLE SOURCE, husband included! 10 months is daaaaaaaaaamn, too long a road to HELL.

Next time ask ya 'GOD' to give you an ADAM'S UTERUS, instead of an 'APPLE'!

You sef! STOP PHOCKIND HER OR KISS HER AZZZZZE GOOD-BYE!!!!

SHIKENA!!!!

Oh! BTW, abortion is the CHEAPEST form of contraception in AFFFRRRRIKKKKKA!!!!

It may be true am despicable to her. She may thought why wud she carry this fuuuckking ba.stardd child for this ingrate!

dayokanu: Use your tongue to count your teeth

SHarp up

You are right bro. You win some, you lose some. Never afraid to lose. In losing, you win.

Isiterere:
I thought maturity is required in marriage. Seems the OP is in dare need of baby and you pressurizes her into lying to you that she's pregnant (though you're 9month into the marriage )
Its high time you both have a tete-a -tete discussion on the foundation of your matrimony .
I don't believe she's even pregnant in the 1st instance

No, am not in dare need of a baby and my wife is not a baby factory. From the beginning, I saw no reason she was avoiding pregnancy.Actress like Omotola gave birth to four while acting. Mercy johnson is back to biz.

She is just a professional makeup artiste, job you could still do while pregnant. I hv only have to oblige her by withdrawing(distasteful as that is as she hates condo.ms) just to please her.

The action is what I strongly frown at. Having to get back at me by hurting hersef and seed/imagined seed(whichever) is treacheous.

I wasn't forcing her to get preg. I just told her is time because she isn't getting younger.

I am thinking she could be ruthless with some other things from the foregoing.

oneangle: I just commented on Edo woman wey commit suicide for EDO STATE... This is another Evil exam in Edo.. WOW.. I will neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr do anything with EDO people.. I always also ask you my simple question where re you from? where is your mum from and your dad? Make i know hear EDO at all.. na goodbye be that.. make you fine pass sef... EDO marry EDO oh.. EDo ra yin oh..

Are you for real? Please what state are you from? So that I can dig up numerous evil happenings in your place and PM you.

Who would want to marry a myopic person like you anyway?

castello: To God be the Glory. I have been invited for interview on Friday 28 for the post of Team Lead Knowledge Management. Also asked to bring along the credentials as listed earlier on this forum. However, I cant access the interview invite from their job website as indicated in the sms. Can anyone help with this?

Yours is a big position. How many years of professional experience do u have ?

Riteshfx: Type of visa = Visit
Purpose = Special Visitor
Type of application = (Special) student visitor, up to 6 months.
I hope this helps.

Exactly what I want. Thank u so much. Thanks to Vicjustice too for replying.

@Vicjustice

I am trying to apply for student visitor visa on the new online UK visa application form, surprisingly, on the form where type of visa was asked; there were option for study and visit. I chose visit(hoping it is correct)

But when asked what kind of visit; there was no option for student! the options available were general, tourist, entertainer, sport, special, other( supposed this is for military personnel).

I am confuse. Can you help?

If I choose Study, the options available are tier 4 and non-tier 4( I feel this is not it)

kulyie: You are totally right.that is the naked reality we have this days.people marrying for wrong reasons.i remembered when i was doing my post graduate degree back then,i had a friend who was so desperate for marriage.always whinning and complaining why she is not married at 27 when other ladies younger than her are married.she was always asking me whether she is fine,whether she doesn't dress well.anyway not to long after she met a fellow postgraduate student during the weekly postgraduate seminar,that one asked her out and they started dating.before i could say jack robinson,she told me she is getting married,i looked at her in shock,i said tayo calm down,you just dated this guy in a month and now you are talking about marriage.are you sure you guys have the same values,understand each other,respect each other and so many other important things you need to find out before talking about marriage.guess what she told me,she said all that doesnt matter,what matters is love and i said ok how do you know he loves you,she said because he buys me gifts,comes to visit me regularly,calls me on phone and most importantly tells me he loves me.i said is that your indices for knowing whether a man loves you genuinely or not,she said yes.i said why dont you give yourself a break.be friends first before you become lovers so that you can know whether he is someone you can spend the rest of your life with,she said ehen no matter how much you study a guy,you cant know him unless you marry him.i just had to end the conversation because it was obvious nothing i said made sense to her and her mind was made up.after we finished our course work my friend moved to his house,before i knew what was happening she became pregnant and i asked her whether she has met his parents before moving into his house talkless of getting pregnant,she said thats small thing,she will go after we conclude our masters,i said ok.not to long she went to meet with his parents,luckily they accepted her,they did introduction ,fast forward weeks later,she brought ankara for me to buy her aso ebi for her wedding,i bought it.i still went ahead to ask her,tayo this is a life time thing are you sure of what you are getting yourself into.do you know this man well,are you sure you are ok with his principles and she got annoyed and said i am a bad friend,i dont mean well for her,i am not happy she is getting married.i said oremi koribe,why wont i be happy that my girlfriend is getting married,i just want you to be happy in your marriage ni and she snapped at me,ose,thank you i will be happy in my marriage,anyone that doesnt want me to be happy in my marriage will not be happy herself i said amen o,later she said oremi the lady that doesyour hair and nails nko,i want her to do my hair on my wedding,i took her to my beauticians shop,they made arrangements etc.months later,she became mrs lagbaja.

A year later she came to my office complaining about how her husband will leave her and her baby alone and go clubbing during weekends,sleep with different kinds of club girls.he wont even give her money for baby stuffs, the money he is supposed to use in taking care of the family,he will spend it on club girls.i dont even know the kind of stewpeed man she married as a husband.when she said she complained to the husband,the man said if she is tired of the marriage,she can walk out but when she walks out live the baby because when she enterd the marriage,she didnt come with a child.after all the explanations i said are you done,she said yes and i said you are not even happy he hasnt brought those girls home,if he brought them home,will you beat him.when i told you back then when we were in school,what did you tell me.its your cross,just carry it and dont complain because i have told you.you were whinning i want to marry i want to marry,you did not listen to any advice from any of your friends,you shunned them and said they were jealous of you.good enough your husband has suggested what you should do,if you are tired of the marriage,walk out and please i am busy,i have other urgent things to attend to,we will talk later.come to my house on weekend.

To be frank if i was as desperate as she was and married all the guys that came around me then i most likely will have married an abuser and lived an unfullfilled life.infact i believe my mom now when she says making decisions about marriage is harder than all the degrees you can ever earn in your life,its fragile yet tough.

What more can i say single ladies need to look and look and look deeply before they leap

It is a good thing you study your partner before tying the nuptial knot. However, all these you have said could happen to seemingly compatible couples. Marriage institution is just a mystery. You could take all your time and still miss it.

I thought I missed it myself when I got married. It took me 6months to start loving my wife again!

[quote author=tpia.]I dont think she was poor, since her dad was in a country club and she said she often spent time there.

Country clubs arent for poor people.[/quote]I know. Life was not kind to her. She lost her parents as a teenager and she and her siblings faced the other side of life.

safarigirl: I don't understand all this their 'I must join Hollywood' mentality.

Has Gwyneth Paltrow or Vivica Fox come for this our Emzor walk for life? Omotola never even join that one she dey run go yankee wan identify.

Dear if you want to trek for a cause, we have more causes to trek for here, you of all people should know as a UN ambassador.

Btw, she looks like she was literally dragged out of bed, and na only these senior citizens she see to snap pinshur with? Didn't the likes of Leonardo Di Caprio and Eva Longoria come for the walk?

Africa and west are two different world. Your CV becomes more robust, the more international exposure you have. If she is looking into getting to hollywood which is the ultimate dream for actors for obvious reason, then you have to seize opportunity like this.

Moreso, she had just been pointed as one of the most influential persons in the world by Time Magazine, so the world is now her oyster.

Could you let her be please?

babyosisi: Why this fine girl married that bleached up husband of hers still beats me
I can stand anything but a bleaching man

Are you serious? That man gave her the opportunity to excel. She married the man rich(pilot) and he could have kept her in the kitchen. She got married by 18yrs and poor too.

Are you this unkind!

spikes C: I totally hate this about the reps. Are they trying to say JAMB don't know there job or what. Or that people really didn't fail.
Lets face the fact, most Nigerian students writing JAMB fail because they're supposed to fail. You see people expecting results via text messages. Some writing exam types not giving to them. Some making stupid mistakes in their sheets and even disobeying instructions.

When people fail, they FAILED.



My only advice is to allow resitting of JAMB in a few months after the first one. That way, more people will have opportunity to gain admission.

You don't get it! Either Jamb has a wrong marking scheme or it was on purpose to fail student. I believe the formal. Or it could be from faulty machine. I hv personally marked some students' works who did marvellously well but failed why does that did poorly passed. I am so concerned and worried about the senerio.

Lilimax: You made me laugh
It is very easy to shift blame. It purely show that you did not read your book
When writing jamb next, forgo this chatting stuff and other social networking while preparing.
Concentrate on reading your books alone. You will surely pass.

Don't be too sure he doesn't know what he did. The very brilliant guy I know in my neigbourhood failed.

I asked for his question sheet which he marked. He virtually got all the mathematics questions that Jamb scored him 42 for. Meanwhile he only did 35 in physics because of time and he got 65 there.

Its obvious JAMB gave random scores. I am dead sure! He is taking Jamb to court soon. I just wish many cheated students could get together and take JAMB to court!

[quote author=Misunderstood_G][size=100pt]NAME:JEREMIAH ESTHER
ENG=55
BIO=35
CHEM=43
MATHS 26
AGG=159[/size][/quote]You are doing well. I wish you could reduce your font. It will appear better on phones. Most people browse with phones

Odunhana: Bro misunderstood thank u. Bt am sure dat 233 is nt my result. Cux dat result is too low to what i did and am sure of.

If I were you and I am sure of what I wrote, I would take JAMB to court. If you win them, you could get 5million naira damages for the pain caused you. Goodluck

#NigeriansNeverTakeAction!

http://www.jamb.org.ng/Unifiedtme1/PrintSlip.aspx


check with that

vivalableue: I think that you should
a) be very honest with him in plain words. Be straight forward saying "I feel (ex: upset, sad, abandoned, hurt, ashamed) ____ when _______ (ex:I don't I know where you are, or when I see calls from other women, etc)". Don't elaborate too much, and be careful to not direct the feelings toward him in an angry way, but in a voice that promotes dialogue (remember you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar)
b) let him know that your happiness is also his responsibility (also try not to sound naggy, try to imagine the hurt deep inside of you and draw it up and release it in your words, he will respond more acutely to your hurt than to your anger), and ask him what you both need to do to achieve it. I say ask him becos men are wired to be solution/providers.
c) That's why making him feel important is key! doing what you can do to make him know that he is oga at home and he needs to steer the family out of this danger zone.

I want to say that A-B-C works in amazingly to get your feelings across to any man because he won't feel like he's attacked and therefore will not be defensive, rather he'd be able to identify with you and be that solution provider he was born to be!

d) Look fabulous everyday for you! Men, love confident beautiful women, that are into being naturally beautiful, think of the clothes, shoes, etc as an accessory to your inner beauty
e)Initiate family prayers, start weekly then go on from there.
F) explore your sexuality, you are a married woman it's ok! Think about all the fun, exciting things you can do as partners, if it means working out to be able to spin on your head, well go ahead! But be coy, play hard to get, let him chase you and bring out this new side of you. Be his lady on the street and freak in the sheets, don't let anyone else know what is in store, be patient this will surprise him no doubt and might not respond at first. But He will enjoy the game, which may be what he's missing. That inner animal needs to be hunting YOU and not any floosy!
G) GO AWAY FOR A ROMANTIC GETAWAY...not now though, make him see you blossom into this amazing, confident and sexy woman be irresistible to your hubby. Remember how you were when you married him, become that woman again, excited for the future ready to take on the world!

Can I propose to you plz?

Nashville: You may not like my advice, but I honestly do not think you should have married him. You should ask yourself why you married him. Was he cheating before marriage - be truthful? Were you getting older and desperate?

Truth is that you think you are better than your husband, that's why you had to mention how much more you earn. And he probably married you because you were very successful too and you were getting desperate. This happens all the time.

You guys need to have a heart to heart talk, and pray fervently, cos, from what you have described, both of you are already divorced but still living together probably for society sake.

Nothing wrong in marrying him. She only started feeling important when she noticed her hubby's behaviour.

Some pregnancies can kill sex drive. You and your husband should have researched that or see a Doctor so that he would understand.

But because the OP's hubby has tasted outside, its becoming difficult for him to stop especially when she is unresponsive now. The only way out is to talk, talk and talk. Make him understand u are very aware of his cheating and its killing you.

Am sure things will turn around!

Idowuogbo: Awww.. She's one of my fav! As for d career ish, na! I only do voluntary jobs like MC'ing @ friends and famz bday/wedding.

I am sending you a PM. I have one special one you will do for me. Please don't say 'no'

Idowuogbo: Dats my selling point! Do you want to see my goody bag?

Jesus! you got it gal! Am curious about the goody bag though.

Idowu nailed that interview. Congrat babe. Honestly, lepacious Bose would admire you. I so wish you would give that career a thought.

Guapo:
i better remove him. Front page is important

Seun is definitely scared of marriage esp with heart-breaking family thread

NDDC just started sending SMS for interview due for May. Goodluck all

You seem very unhappy and unfulfilled. The best option 4 you is to see a marriage counsellor, not a Pastor o.

Weigh things you can do 2 improve the marriage. For most couple, marriage is a tug-of-war for the first 3 yrs. The reason is because of different home and background. This feeling will wear off soon

But if you try ur best and still feel unhappy, you can try separation first and put ur act together b4 you finally go 4 divorce.

chris viral: Am a living proof... Although i was one of d best student in ma sch, i wrote jamb two year ago on expo, i had 312 oo buh menh my post ume result just disappeared. I guez i had to pay for my sinz immediately... Didnt write jamb last year.. Cuz nda bn dey shack me until they frustrate. Buh dis year i prepare wella 4 ma jamb... D english was really simple.. No hard orals... Biology was just one way express.. Physics was kinda good.. I give am 50/50.... Buh guys truth be told chemistry was damm fucking hard.... I could barely answer 20 questions confidently omo.... Na speed i use touch d gal wey dey ma front wey cari phone, she just give me d thing sharp sharp.. Its wasnt my type shaa buh i jux shade, use ma hand give maself new type... Hope i dont pay dis time. No be ma fault, since sec sch days chemistry no dey enter... Na wetin amaka n uche dey use beat dat time kari first... Abeg i hope UNN Fit take me for medcine... Am g gud student oo buh nwanne chemistry i dnt knw wetin dat subject dey talk

I pray you pass anyway. But my advice is 4 you 2 forget medicine since chemistry nor dey enter your head. Go for industrial physics or social sciences. Medicine's Biochemistry and chemistry will be difficult 4 u