₦airaland Forum

Its a pity that some of us just cant keep our thoughts to ourselves. Mind your comment if really value your future on social media or anywhere cos the internet, social media, emails, calls, text messages etc can be used against you. Dont destroy yourself by yourself control what you say be it written or spoken. quote author=icebird25 post=91525549]Be cautious of what you post or do on Facebook..but some people won't heed to that simple advice..
Oya come and gbese.

As shared by Sapientem @GospelJosiah



https://mobile.twitter.com/GospelJosiah/status/1280206415106379776[/quote]

I really don't understand why some women choose to slander men for things done with their consent. Learn to act right cos karma definitely comes back to you and women are suppose to be Mothers n builders not destroyers. Madam respond to his mail. [quote author=iamyemiakins post=91328813]Alleged sexual allegation: Popular Twitter influencer - Dr. Olufunmilayo sues his accuser, Bolanle Aseyan, demands £10,000 for damages.

https://twitter.com/DrOlufunmilayo/status/1278937899870892033?s=20[/quote]

Liars.....

iwaeda:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thisdaylive.com/index.php/2020/06/10/mamman-nigerians-now-enjoy-18-to-24-hours-power-supply/amp/

Hmmmm. I understand your plight, remember you dont choose your parents or siblings but can learn how to be a better person from their mistakes instead of turning into something else.

mikeybrainy:
For me I wouldn't try it, I can never marry someone like my mom. If I try that I would end up in an asylum.

She is a good mother, though not perfect (nobody is).

Some of my reasons are:

Nagging (like the neigbours can narrate everything happening in our house if asked to)
Involving strangers in family issues (like she says everything)

She can't ever take the blame for anything (blames everyone for her woes, and she is never wrong)

She wants to collect back every single penny she spends in the house (which is impossible)
Incites the children against their father (never realized this until I grew up and started thinking like a man, and honestly I'm sorry for all the ways I have acted to my dad, though my own is still fair, my siblings have complete disregard for their father)

Other things too that I can't mention here (makes me feel ashamed.

I realized all these when I started looking at everything from the lens of a struggling husband and father, and I'm still contemplating if marriage is worth it after all, I might as well stay single.... (I only date and break up with girls in my mind, Lol) cos I don't think its worth all the stress. Growing up in a broken, dysfunctional home is hard (sighs).

I wouldn't put all the blame on my Mom but I have resolved not to imbibe my dad's bad habits too (I can't even drink 1% alcohol not because I can't or it's bad, but I run away from it when I think of the things dad would have achieved, if he were not addicted to it)

Sorry for the long post.

Can you marry someone like your mom/dad?

Opinions

I usually don't comment on social media but you certainly deserve a resounding factory reset slap. How can you invest in anyone who has no respect for you. A pretty face is vain. Oga the new pretty is a beautiful heart. Let go of her quietly a bad investment cant be compared to your sanity and peace of mind. Learn to look beyond the physical.

ken711:
I have been dating a girl for about 18 months now. Very pretty but my brothers, let me tell you... Look before you leap when it comes to pretty girls.

From the minute I met this girl it has been one money request after another. If it was small sums I guess I wouldn't really mind, as I have always worked for blue chip companies and can afford it. The thing is, her requests are always very big!.....20k this, 20K that.....but my brothers, I have to tell you the one that has made me even disappointed in myself.

She lives with her parents and they are the most dysfunctional family I have ever heard of... Everyday one person is fighting the other, and this my girlfriend, as fine as she is, is the most arrogant, prideful, violent & rude person I have ever met. She hounded me everyday that I must get her an apartment of her own, so she can escape her home, and I agreed to but by saving monthly.

Would you believe, one night, when she was working at a bar as an usher for guinness, she gave her number to 2 different men just because of this apartment. My spirit kept telling me that she gave her number out, but she kept lying...only for me to catch her texting one of the men when we were at church of all places.......

She even went as far as going to meet this rich man at a hotel, but the man ran away when she made that request, and I as a fool decided to finally do it for her. (I suspect she cheated on me that night and I always tell it to her face because she has cheated on me twice before)

I live on the Island and tried to get her to rent here as well, as I really want to keep an eye on her..... She has too many guys around her who live in that area and she is this kind of person who cheats out of revenge, even over small things.....this girl refused and threatened to break things off!....bro, as a mumu I sent the money to her to rent the place and for other things, about 400K.....

Ever since that money left my account, it's like my eyes cleared!!! I couldn't believe that instead of saving my hard earned money, I went and sent it to a girl that has cheated on me twice (or even more), lied to me, slapped me and done so many things.....but I just decided to leave everything for God, seeing as she was desperate.

The problem now is that the demands for that apartment is now becoming too much!!! The expenses just to get the place finished are such a burden on my financial and mental state...

The worst happened about two days ago, she wanted me to pay 20k. Infact I just got so tired of bills that I kinda was stalling on it, but what happened next truly shocked me. Would you believe this girl started punching me, slapping me and even tore my shirt cos of 20k. She even threatened to break my office laptop (working from home) until I sent the money, after that she left........

Now she is trying to apologize so that I will pay for bed and gas and the remaining things....my brothers, I know u will say am a fool!...I accept...I am a handsome guy, studied abroad, I just don't know why loneliness made me fall in love with such a sadistic user... My only problem is, do I pay for the bed and just finish what I started or just free the whole thing and the nearly 500K I have already spent...

Please help!

Tell them mtchewwwwwww.

proff010:
Guy don't mind those olosho you call girlfriend
They are always after money the question is why can't their brothers or father join yahoo yahoo. Tailoring is a good profession am proud to be a tailor, grad of accounting, living in my own house and happily married. God will give you your own wife. I have some friends back then who refuse to learn any skill now they are suffering and still on the streets.
Go to the island and see tailors making it big those olosho want yahooboy that will spend on them and later use them for rituals.

No need talking to ur mum, just pray for them both n keep showing both of them love

Floryangel8:
It's so pathetic, most people find it difficult to treat others the way they want to be treated . My opinion sit your mom down and narrate to her what if she dies today and your younger brother has to go and live with people, how does she think her son will cope. What goes around comes around.

.

Mehn i tire ohhhhhhhhh

ednut1:
This woman i watched in primary school 42. Naso

At suleja, transformer vandalized for the second time. No power for a week now.

Light78:
Good day to you all,let us talk about the electricity situation in our areas.

Here in Cele--Ijaniki LA. we hardly see light, and the power supply was intermittent since yesterday's afternoon, till now it has not been restored.

We can't even boast of 6 hours power supply in my area. During this lock-down, there should be power so as to make us stay indoor, listen to news, and be current with daily happenings.

Why is this country like this? Since 1960 till date we are still battling for a stable power supply.

Our leaders have failed us. Lovely people of Nairaland, how is it in your area?

I knew it would come to this, after the keke and okada ban that lagos would be something else had to relocate immediately in February never knew Covid 19 was on its way. God save Lagos. God save Nigeria.

unscripted:
The problems now is the crime rate , iyana paja , dopemu and orile agege is on fire right now

The kid is 5 for Pete's sake and a baby, why shave his hair without consent. If you so care call the parents and nicely tell them or just do your job and let them be.

Princessabby99:
Thats what you get when you mess with children of powerful people

No wonder they cut us off power for 2 weeks now. Hmmmmmm

RenaissanceGuy:
Last month, NERC released a communique directing the distribution companies to start charging unmetred customers fixed amount of bill depending on the phase type they're in. For residential, they're to be charged ₦1,800, etc.
Last month, we were billed nearly ₦17,000,but surprisingly, this morning they brought a bill of just ₦3,656 (VAT inclusive). My neighbor received just ₦1,800 as against ₦8000 they used to receive.

This has to be one of the best news this year, because these guys have been committing daylight robbery on unmetred customers. They deliberately refuse to give you meter and then turn around to bill you crazily whether you only have a TV in your house or not.

Thumbs up to the present minister of power and NERC!
https://www.nairaland.com/5707221/nerc-bars-discos-billing-unmetered

U see you, prostitution can't be associated with a tribe or region. Please grow up.

punisha:
That girl must be an Edo or calabar girl see as her eyes dey shine like torch...why won't she run down that man...

RIP Barr... You manhood lives on.

1000% correct, cos am shocked seeing this ohhh.

Quality20:
majority of students in d south u shd have said pls. In d north, no body can tell u what cult is

We all have our dirty underwear we don't want others to see. It ain't easy but you need to tell her about the ailment and seek her forgiveness and she needs to seek yours too. Forgive each hold on to your relationship if you both can and move forward. Let God be the rock of your relationship.

Romangalactic:
I'll try to keep my predicament short. I registered a new account for this purpose but I'm sure many of you will understand that sterility is not something to be announced which is exactly how I got myself in this situation. I am 35 and engaged to a beautiful woman who completes me in every way. As much as it hurts me to say this, I have not been totally honest with her about everything.
Just yesterday while we were home together, she told me that she is pregnant . I asked her how sure she is, she said she had done the pee test and that she knows how she is feeling. The issue here is that I am sterile but I have not told her this before so it is impossible that I am responsible.

Please before anyone tells me I deserve this for not opening up to her, I have been undergoing treatment secretly and they say I will be able to father children when it's done so of course, I am hopeful and have not bothered to inform her about any of this. I can't stand losing her for any reason. My issue right now is that I asked my endocrinologist this morning if it's possible that the treatment is already working and he said we have not gone far enough to see any results yet. This means I am definitely not the father of the child she is carrying.

Only one other person in this world knows about my health challenge and that is my cousin. I told him and he told me to break up with my fiancée, someone I have already done introduction with and families are involved. I told him I cannot and that he must take the secret to the grave, he thinks I am making the biggest mistake of my life.
Well I told him my plan is to accept the pregnancy and continue to make her think I don't know she cheated on me. I am doing this with the hope that after we get married, my treatment will be completed and everything will be back to normal. But at the same time, I still can't shake the feeling that I am about to marry someone who cheated and is passing off another man's child as mine, I feel cheated and it hurts.

Can anyone else please tell me what to do about this situation I have found myself? Please I just need to hear from other people besides my cousin. Another thing, he has never really liked my fiancée so I feel that also may be his motivation.
I need neutral opinions please

Am moving out of Lagos ASAP....

generalwo:
Nigeria is a failed state..... Why ban a major source of lively hood without providing an alternative... Whatever you are trying to prevent will give birth to something much worse.... The crime rate in Lagos is gonna increase 1000%......because boys no get how to survive and many mouths dey to feed

Well your marriage is young but you two are to blame, stop reporting her to others and on her part she needs to submit to you. I don't believe you forced her into marriage cos you love each other. You need to sit her down and ask her if she really wants to be with you cos you two are stuck together only adultery can lead to divorce.
Most people prepare for wedding but are never prepared for marriage. So work things out and pray for your marriage also erase the notion of you not being happy in your marriage.

hybrid77:
Pls i need a sincere advice here.

Im 3 months old in marriage and im so unhappy about the set up (my wife too)

My wife is a student and she tried everything to shift the marriage until easter this year but i refused due to many projects for the year. so we got married 3 months ago.

I took care of her bills since she got admission and we dated for 5 years

But she is so disrespectful and want to make important decisions in marriage which ive refused to allow.

Now, she claims i forced her into marriage and she is not mentally ready because i asked her to change to my family's name.

She has been good then bad then worse..And i think her words about forcing her into marriage has irreparably hurt me.

I spent over 3m of my cash to give her the wedding she wanted (Without any support from her family) against my wish for a 1m wedding.

And despite getting the big wedding she wants before consenting to marry last year, she claims she is not mentally ready and was forced into marriage.

she has repeated this over and over and its making me go crazy..in fact im tired already

Right now she wants more time to be a wife..but im beginning to feel there is a love issue here..I feel she does not love me as she always claims

Though weve settled but we dont talk as usual..we dont even want to hear from each other...

it seems i nolonger love her like i used to..And worst still, continuing with the marriage when she claims she was forced is degrading and disreputable.

My question is, at what point should anyone seriously consider a divorce?

Lol, how tall are you self.

ubunja:
Being 2M Tall it's always A.

I've never really met a girl taller than me. In real life. For real.

If you've two legs run as far as they can carry you and please be wise not to say anything to anyone unless u trust them. Keep off ur sister house.

Mispreeti:
Please I need your advice.

My sister is at the hospital with one of her twins who is seriously ill and I'm in her house taking care of the other twin. I have been here for a week and her husband has been disturbing me for sex. I refused but he is not listening. He touched me while I was asleep and I felt it then I immediately woke up. He pretends to be covering the baby sleeping beside me. I told him i will report him to my dad in the morning. He has apologised and promised not to do it again but I know he is lying because this is not the first time it has happened since I came here.

I can’t go back to sleep and I'm afraid if I close my eyes and sleep, he will come again.

Please should I report him to my dad or give him another chance?

Its so sad to hear this and sorry for everything you've been thru. If you say you can't trust her that's fine but you've to take care of your unborn child. I advice your mom takes custody of your child. It is well

COWBOYFAN:
Hello Ladies and Gentlemen

I just had a traditional wedding earlier this month. I'm not based in Nigeria. I provided all the finances for the wedding before I arrived Lagos. Everything listed to be bought for the wedding I provided all. To my surprise wedding that was suppose to take place in a hall had to take place in a cramped sitting room. No food, no drinks, no DJ etc. What did they use the funds for? I don't know. I asked questions and no answers given. To be fair to her family members, I didn't give money directly to her parents or siblings. I gave the funds to my wife to be.

Surprisingly on the day of the small wedding, her uncle was accusing me of not providing money to organize the wedding properly. My heart sank. I look in the direction of my wife to be and couldn't believe what just came out of her uncle's mouth. Whereas I provided money for everything. The wedding prayers went ahead and we were joined together.

After the dry wedding ceremony I began to ask questions but my new wife couldn't give me explanation. Fast forward to last week I was looking for money I kept in my drawer and couldn't find it. I decided to just keep quiet and watch. I set another trap. I had some US Dollars in my wallet and exposed the money for her to see. I went to the shower and lo and behold my new wife removed the dollars from my wallet. I got dressed after shower and we went outside to go somewhere together as my driver was in the car waiting. As we were going, I opened my wallet and saw the dollars gone. I blew a whistle right there and she denied it. I asked driver to return home. I had my parent and siblings at home on that day but I can bet my life on them. I told them what's going on. My new wife was all over the place and shaken. I refused to talk to her. I confided in my mother and explained how I set the trap for my wife. Surprisingly my wife started making moves. She planted the money all over the place which I saw as she was doing. I pretended I didn't see her. I refused to talk to her. All of a sudden she confronted me and attacked me that I suspected her to be the one who stole my money. She started saying she stoop so low to allow herself to be ridiculed in the presence of my family. I confronted her with evidence and she began crying and blaming devil. She has done series of money infractions that I couldn't list here. She fights me for money on daily basis since we got married. No money ever enough.

This is a woman that I gave a car to already and spent so much on to be comfortable. I just bought her another car to be given to her on her birthday. On the day she stole the dollars I had just given her 100,000 naira pocket money for the week. She's been crying and begging for two days saying it won't happen again. She has refused to eat.

Here is the bombshell I just confirmed she's now three weeks pregnant. I can't trust my life with her at this juncture. I'm leaning towards divorce. I'm too scared to be with her. She's too greedy.

Your daughters will pay for your sins.lol

Kekereekun123:
once a lady clocks 29 they become so desperate. if not for fear of God i for don defraud many sexually and financially

Well said, I thought I was the only one who knew this fact that Nigerian music is still asleep. Lol all we have these days are beats with no lyrics or message.

NwaAmaikpe:




A well deserved win to Kidjo.
The content of her songs are out of this world. She is a mix of Maya Angelou and Miriam Makeba.

Music lovers and genuine content critics like myself would have given up on the credibility and essence of the Grammy Awards if another undeserving artiste had won this.

Sentiments aside, Nigeria is yet to replicate another Fela Kuti in the global music sphere.
Fela is the only Nigerian deserving of a Grammy.

Because music is not about dancesteps or groupie trends but about a movement, a message, reawakening a consciousness and yet the melody.
This is a reality lost on today's Nigerian artistes aside from Asa who lacks in consistency.

Till your music can be accepted by Pastors, Imams, Youths, elders, global leaders, United Nations and illiterates, then you stand a chance of being an African Album or winning a foreign award in Music.

Nigeria and Nigerians must understand that club bangers do not translate to foreign awards in global music.

One mistake we all make is bringing our baggage to social media. If you love her stick with her and watch her closely, but keep an open mind towards things.

Logan95:
My people, Something really terrible just occurred now.

I have dated my girlfriend for about 6 months, she is the most open individual I've ever met... She has told me most of her secrets. She is a very beautiful and intelligent girl and what really made us thick is that I was there when she had seizures in the past.

To the issue, She answered a call today and I felt suspicious and I decided to confront her immediately, but as she was trying to explain, I cut in and acted with mistrust and accusations that I suspect cheating. This was a major catalyst and it triggered her seizure. I started apologizing immediately to calm her down, she passed out for some minutes after she tried to use her clothes to suffocate herself.

She woke up irritated and I asked her to explain what is happening in her social world. She said it was really nothing and that she feels I don't trust her that's why she reduced telling me personal stuff. That there is no connection between her and the guy.

She said she has forgiven me but she has to leave my house that moment. I asked that I drop her but she refused and packed her belongings that has been here. She later accepted that I'd drop her because I could not stand the shame of her going alone but my car battery decided to die and she eventually entered bike home.

She left by saying she needs space but I feel I've lost her because I'll be once guilty of inducing her seuzures.

Ladies and gentlemen, red pillers, kindly advice me on how to handle this issue.

N:B kindly put into consideration that she is really emotional and her peculiar challenge.

The heart knows what it wants, women at times put up a show to get you to commit and after that you'll be shocked at how they turn out to be. You know who makes you really happy be prayerful as you have to pick between two of them.

mrbenjame:
I think I need matured minds to advice me because I’m very confused right now. Please take pains to read my story.

I dated a lady called Susan (not her real name ). For 4 years. I loved her so much and she did too. I met her when She was preparing to enter the university. 6 months into the relationship I went for service. Came back and it was already clocking 2 years. Whenever she visits I always try to make her comfortable. So she took advantage of my care and always wanted me to serve her all the time. Even when she visits from school she would be operating her phone and watch me do what on a normal terrain she should assist me do. As a young guy I try as much as I can to let her know that at least once in a while it would be nice to get my meal served by my woman even if I prepared it (since she doesn’t like entering the kitchen). Most time I overlook it because probably she’s very tired and all that. Sometimes I thought I was just being selfish but I really wanted to feel that woman attributes but I wasn’t seeing it.

Each time we fix time for a date she comes very late and that piss me off to my bone marrow. She never keeps to time. I endured this for a long time because she never turned up early in any appointment. She calls me at late hours and when I try to explain to her that it’s late she gets angry ( I’m talking of 12 am or there about) and I’ll go to work the next day. Anytime she offends me she would want to be romantic so I’d forget her wrongs just to calm me down. But I was suffering inside.

I felt very weak emotionally and decided to take things easy.

Until I met this lady called Benita (not her real name). I liked her. I admired everything about her. So I approached her while we were going back home from work. We had good conversations and I was happy because she was fun to be with. We exchanged contact and we started chatting. Forgive me because I became happy again just talking to her. Whenever we say goodbye when she gets off the bus she times when I’d get home and immediately I step my foot in my house she calls.( already I’ve told her when I’d be home). I invited her to a date in an eatery and she turned up 10 minutes to the time. I was shocked.

I became more involved with her. I invited her home. She went to my kitchen and she said “ your plates are not washed why? I just smiled and told her I’ll take care of that. Before I knew what was happening she’s started washing the plates. I begged her to stop because I didn’t send her to do that and besides it’s her first time in my house. But she refused. I let her (though the plates were not much but I was happy). She started visiting often with food items to cook. And I obliged to assist her. She refused again. We argued until she had her way. I just sit with her in the kitchen and gist while she cooks. To me I felt I was punishing her because all I wanted is that things of such can be done by her once in a while. (I sabi pity person o. Lols!). And secondly I’m not used to a woman doing things for me for a very long time now.

She calls all the time. Talks so lively and very funny. She’s not the miss romantic type but very smart and reserved.

After a while, you can’t cheat karma. Susan found out. She came to know about Benita. And since then it wasn’t easy settling between two of them. But Susan won’t just give up and I think I’m cool with Benita.

Today Benita is in her 100 level while Susan is about going for her service.

Now I’m trying to be responsible to settle down. I talked with my mum and some close friends of mine but they’re tipping Susan for me because she’s out of school and it would make things much easier for me than settling with Benita. But I love Benita now. She makes me happy. What do I do?

Hello. Well its never too late to catch up with your studies and don't abandon the one you have now, you can give at least 5-10 hours to catch up and graduate with a fair result. Then after graduation write Jamb again get admission to study what you want nothing bad having two degrees. Use this to your advantage look at the brighter side. Failure is a stepping stone to success.

SipCoke:
I apologize for the long post... So the thing is, I am 22 years old currently in 200 level. My performance is very poor, in fact I'm currently on probation(I'm suppose to be in 300 level by now) and that's not because I'm not intelligent or I'm dull o. it's just that i don't show commitment towards my studies because I've completely lost interest in the course I'm currently studying because of its calculation aspect. I hate calculations a lot. Let me say, I'm more of a theory person. I have tried applying for change of course but i was denied maybe because of my poor performance. My Father doesn't know anything about this. "no issues at all Daddy, my result is good", my response whenever he asked me about my result.

So i have finally decided to apply for withdrawal from my current school to register and sit for jamb again. This time i will apply for a course in a different institution. This course in question is a course I've wanted to study long ago but my current school don't offer it. My friend studies it and I've done research on the course my self. I'm very sure i can do it this time.

Now i don't even know how to approach my father with this. I know I've fvcked up big time. The man will be so so annoyed and disappointed in me but i can't continue like this, i want to get things on track, i want to fix my life and start afresh. Right now I'm just confused and frustrated. Nairalanders, i will need your advice and suggestions. Please what's your take on this?

I swore never to watch Nollywood movies but after seeing merrymen, mywife and I and chief daddy. I said to myself " u need to return home".. Lol. Keepup the good work

Some women keep up appearances till after having a child for you then boom she steps out to hunt you... Well some men deserve it

daddytime:
Lol

Una no date before marriage? You couldn't have missed some of these traits even though some people are good at hiding their true characters while dating.

U r ryt. Lagos is a weird place to live. Fake and patched houses everywhere in lag.

Sunofgod:
avoid lagos!

Its a Nigerian thing to use people till they expire.
One person doing five persons job. It is well

nairafamedotcom:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2019/12/22/4-nurses-die-in-upth-staff-complain-of-work-overload/amp/

The man had a kind heart I must say but your wife is something else and lacks understanding.
You don't need to fight your wife over it. I would advice you just assist her the best way you can by giving her quality education. He who helps others actually helps himself.

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

Madam please run for your dear life, if you can breakup with him and get a restraining order.
Your life is precious

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

Madam please run for your dear life, if you can't breakup with him and get a restraining order.
Your life is precious

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos