Richking2023:
I understand your burdens. First, why have they refused to send you to school? Can't they fix you somewhere to learn a skill? However, I won't advise you to leave the house now, although you didn't state your gender. As a girl, do it for this season your glorification is coming. As a boy if you're above 18yrs, get out and work for yourself

Think9ja:
Plenty land wasting away in Abuja, yet, some people prefer to build houses in Lagos where they'll have to sandfill, only for the building to later collapse.

Just move five multinational companies HQ to Abuja and see the mass exodus out of this stinking place.

Lagos? Nah!
Abj is not as safe as Lagos
Lagos is the safest place in Nigeria
Abuja is the place abeg

mascot345:
Please I just clocked 35 years two days ago.
I have money to get married but I wan build small estate before marriage.

I wan marry at 40 .

Please I need good advice here. As our economy is too bad. I don't want to bring children that will come and suffer.
People are seriously advicing me to marry next year.
I already have land in a good location.

But some of my girlfriends are encouraging me to marry them before building anything.

My girlfriend said we can hustle together and build a better tomorrow.

I have like 3 girls who are willing to say yes next year.

Please good advise is welcomed.
Thanks everyone.

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

Sonnobax15:
Yesterday being Sunday, so I went to a match viewing center to watch the football game between tottenham hotspur and Everton... After the first half came to an end, an argument arose between an old man and a young man..The argument was all about the merits and ills of polygamy.. The old man's opined that a man who's married to many wives will have lesser marital Problems than a man who's married to one wife..
The wife may be wrong but the man is even wronger, Lol.. how can you sell a house in the city and go build one in the village?
How much is house rent in the village compared to the city? And who wants to stay in the village? Times are hard..
once upon a time i wanted to buy a land and I was advised to consult the families of the man that wants to sell to avoid future problems..
Well the lazy children should hustle for their own head

While the young man was of a counter opinion, insisting on the fact that a man who has only one wife will always have his peace of mind intact

Well, I was just sitting aloof, sipping my black fearless small small . ...But then I thought about a similar scenario happening to my uncle who has only one wife... Their marriage has been blessed with five sons,and of course my uncle is a very well-to-do man...And out of their five sons,three of them studied abroad...

So after my uncle's retirement from the oil company he was working,he sat his wife down and had a discourse with her that he'd love to sell his port harcourt duplex so that he can use the money to build a house in his village here in Delta state...But his wife refused, insisting that everything that my uncle has worked hard to achieve belongs to her son's,that my uncle Shouldn't even dare think of selling anything....That has resulted to a serious pandemonium in their home..And of which my uncle has threatened to divorce her..But his wife has kept on threatening my uncle that she'd wreck my uncle if he should dare divorce her .

The wahala has even deteriorated from bad to worse to the extent that their sons has taken sides with their mom..... One time self,they all ganged up and beat their father .

My uncle has filed papers to a customary court,to divorce the marriage, because all the previous efforts he had made to take his bride price from his in-laws have proved abortive as they have been dribbling my uncle . He has vowed to sell everything,his shopping mall,his hostels,his other two storey buildings.....I even heard him complaining to my popsman that his wife has started to sell his cars and other things he left in his house..... Imagine someone who has different storey buildings now has to be a tenant in a two-bedroom apartment..

At this moment,my uncle has been plunged into a state of so much regrets,that if he had heeded to the advice of his kinsmen back then when they were advising him to marry a second wife,this wouldn't be happening to him .

GraciousGod190:
Am hurt, 4 years relationship about to go down the drain.first time meeting her parents was last week Sunday, they did welcome me with a smiling face.
After all the introductions and making my intentions known to them I like to marry their daughter.

my girlfriend called me on phone yesterday that she's coming over, which she did and start saying that her elder bro and her mum is kicking against our marriage. i asked why? she said because am an Ssce holder.

yes I might be an Ssce holder, but am self employed doing well for myself (I noi de beg to chop) isn't that enough.

can't an Ssce holder marries a bsc, msc or a phd holder.
why the discrimination towards a brother because of a white man education?
because of a white sheet of paper.

Xman12345goat:
Good evening all, I am a medical doctor who just graduated about 5 years ago. I have completed my mandatory one year internship and NYSC program. I now work in a Federal medical Center in the East.

The reason why I created this topic is to seek advice on the risk of getting married into a very poor family. I love my girlfriend Chioma very well. I have been dating her for more than 8 years now and would like to settle down with her. I have met her family and paid her bride price.

The problem here is that she comes from a very poor family. Her dad is late and her mum is a petty trader. She is the first child and has six siblings. She is very beautiful, hardworking, God fearing but not educated. She only completed secondary school. Immediately after introduction, I kind of became the bread winner of her family and had to support in training her younger siblings in school not forgetting that am the first son/child of my own family and I have to cater for my own siblings too.

My mum is now bothered and wants me to call off the wedding and marry someone from a middle income family, at least some one with a degree certificate, am beginning to reason with her because of the nature of our economy, but I love chioma very much and I don't want to disappoint her.

RapistOnBail:


I totally agree with her, even though I know that pastorship is a business venture.

Jealousy in the black race is so much that even your siblings will plan to kill you the moment they see signs of progress in you.

Anybody wey get money and still Dey hangout with him poverty friends should know say him days for this earth Don dey near END!

JustNumb:
How do I report a winners chapel pastor?

Do I confront her about again or just tell her people?


My family members don't know about it yet cos if I mention it to them, her respect is gone forever.

Edit : for those asking, we were friends for many years even before we got married. I didn't marry her cos of virginity. Who virginity help?

I married her cos she was my friend and we were compatible

JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief

Godbless3:
Before I read the post.
Which one is emotional afair again?

Rastaramsey:
Damnnn niggarr
Bro, see something ooo
It depends on the girl, if a good girl asks you for help, you don't have to ask for sex....
But when a bitch asks you for money, don't hesitate to invite her for a hardcore doggy....

lolu2019:
that's the truth.I do it everyday.I don't go to any fucking hospital.

Potch:


If the pain is at the lower back and you are relieved when you lie on your back, I think it is just muscle and disc problem (?).

If the pain is so intense now, get crushed ice and put them inside a wet towel and place it on your lower back for 10-15 minutes. It will be cold, peppery and aching. Remove it when you can't feel anything again. This cycle should take about 10 to 15 minutes. Do that 2 to 3 times daily for 3 days.
* Sit with a back rest and avoid bending your back.
* Avoid long sitting
* Avoid carrying weight with your back bent
* Cycling can help to improve movement and to strengthen your back and abdominal muscles, especially if you are overweight.

Do these and still go to hospital as I highlighted before.

Good luck bro.

Clinghton:
Sleep on the ground or hard surface.

Potch:


Back pain is one of the leading causes of disability. The causes are many: structural changes in your spine if you are in the mid 40 and upwards; it could be positional (long sitting in an awkward position, sleeping on saggy mattress etc); or it could be a pointer to some pathological disease ( kidney, cancer etc).
If your pain increases with movement of your spine and relieves you when lying down, we are dealing with a musculoskeletal problem.

What to do nonetheless:
1. Go to any laboratory for normal x-rays and take the results to hospital. MRI or CT scan is expensive and is not the first line of investigative tests.

2. Dont self-medicate, some of the NSAIDS drugs are highly sensitive to internal organs. Go to hospital.

3. Change your work ergonomic ( make sure office desk and chair are suitable for proper working conditions). Avoid long sitting. Exercise is good when prescribed by a physiotherapist. You will be properly guided at the hospital.

4. Sleep on the floor for few days and observe if this improves your pain. Maybe it is time to change your saggy mattress and get an orthopedic mattress.
5. Go to Google for additional information on your condition, once you've adequately knowledge about it, you will be equipped on how to manage it.
Good luck.

achillesfoot:
I could start asking of other symptoms like painful urination etc but we could be looking at infected kidneys or kidney stones.. (not sure until I completely hear all of the symptoms).. Pls visit a hospital asap and run all tests AVAILABLE. Lastly you said your waist, you need to be more specific, pelvic region or iliac crest?? Backside is different from waist.. Is it your lower back? If yes Kidney or kidney stones(pls refer to my statement upwards) if your whole back, could be a spinal muscular tear or even a nervous system malfunction (does it come with headaches).. Pls specify detailed symptoms.. I'm currently attending to other health issues but will keep a keen eye on your response.. It should be late in Nigeria.. Good afternoon..

Charmingrascal:


Go for MRI or CT scan to determine the cause before somebody prescribe gbogbo nishe (general purpose drugs) for you.
For now Ibuprofen might be useful to you.
Try a hot water massage or Ice (cold water) massage on the area too.
Try to exercise regularly
Increase your calcium and Vitamin D consumption

Do you smoke?
Do you work in an environment where you lift heavy objects?
Your sitting position is also important.
Infact the way you sleep could also cause this pains.

Above all go for scanning to determine what the cause is.

achillesfoot:
You didn't specify the side of the waist where you feel the pain.. Is it the pelvic region and what side? When I get your answer then I know how to proceed. Thank you.

aysnoopy:
Do you feel the pain at d side of Ur stomach under the rib too?

bobontop:
My wife is fond of kissing my 6months boy in the mouth. I personally don't like this and I have told her to stop it but she refused.

This issue in causing a serious argument in my home and I want to take a serious action since she has refused to stop it.

Please I need advice from experienced parents.

I was abused sexual as a child by a cousin staying with us and there are cases of incest around me. I don't want any of this to happen to my son.

The teenage girl staying with us always sees my wife kissing my son in the mouth and I am afraid she my copy it and start doing it.

Please am I wrong? Am I over reacting? Is it a normal practice? Please advise me.

Badbunny:
Get married bro

Omolarablg:
Sir, be strong and courageous.

Examine yourself well, and ask yourself this questions

1) when you were in money,how did you treat your wife?did you treat her nicely by giving her money to buy things for herself and the kids or did you do otherwise to her by maltreating her financially?

2) When you were in money, do you save or whatever you have you spend it the way you like, as if there's no tomorrow?

3) When you were in money, how well do you pay your tithe and how close are you in serving God?

There's a saying that if you want to know the level of humility of a man, you'll definitely know when he's broke but if you want to know the level of arrogant and pride of a man, that's if he's in money and power.

Well, there's a possibility that your wife got married to you because of the money you had then, but not for TRUE LOVE, and now that you are broke financially, instead of her to patiently and prayerfully assist you and the family for a while, she rather left , but I won't really blame her because nobody knows how you treated her when you were in money then.

So for now, you need to get closer to God, ask him for mercy and take you to the land of prosperity.

I don't know how close is your relationship with your male friends, but I believe if you tell them you are searching for a job, I believe if they are good friends,they should be able to assist you, in case there's a vacancy in their place of work.

Pray to God to restore you back, to the land of blessing and prosperity.

Iliveforever:
The same way the senate shouldn’t be a dumping ground for failed governors.

Monogamy:


So kyari is the one that defrauded the Qatar man right?

MansoryMX:
I will make it brief and mix my English with our local pigin English so expect a poor write up base on area wey I be. I won’t say the school name for security reasons but this matter xup yesterday!

My wife went to celebrate matric with her kid sister. Initially I told her I can’t make it but i planned on giving them a surprise visit with two of my friend who accompanied me since the school is my zanga I graduated from years back. I was already driving close to the close gate when I noticed my wife calling me, I picked up the call only for me to hear my wife raging so angrily that one guy approached her, she flashed her wedding ring for him to get lost and this guy had the guts to grab her hands and tell her that he will give her 50k if she follows him to an hotel let them get down that he likes her. My mother in-law is there as well and overhead all the idiot said and shouted at him for disrespecting her daughter and a married woman for that matter! he cursed at my wife’s mom. I told my wife am at the school gate and she was so shocked! I got there just in time, the goat is still there sitting at the front of his Benz. The mending, beating and brutality my hommies who accompanied me gave him! Plus the flying heading I gave his mouth! He won’t forget it in a long time!


Have we lost our morals as young people? Is this the best way to approach a lady even if you want to toast one! Only God can help this country! Yahoo yahoo has crippled sanity in this country. Las las the school CSO picked him up and hand him over to the police. I showed them my Navy Mess ID card and showed him that he messed with the wrong married woman. Bro begged liked a puss*. Told them to let him go. Young lads be careful how you harass young women. Some are married to educated hoodlum like me.


Note; I see a lot of negative comments saying thrash and seeing nothing wrong in groping someone’s wife. Those of you lots doing this will meet your Waterloo very soon. Under no circumstances should you grope a woman be it married or single! You could be beaten to death or injured severely and nothing will happen! I repeat! Nothing will happen and you will be arrested and charge to court after beaten thoroughly. Una need strong thing for this country!

Pierocash:
that is a different issue bro,but atleast he has a team of mobile police escort.

But this is a Major General for God's sake,he couldn't have been killed if he had team of military escort ,it is his right,he ought to have

princeiceberg:
We dated for good seven years, i have never seen her with anyone around, we both graduated school i was posted to serve my NYSC in kaltungo of Gombe state and she was sent to Ogun , since then we've not been making calls, we just chat on whatsapp and telegram, but nowadays she has not been online and her number has not been reachable, i decided to contact one of her friend, she told me that she has been with one Alhaji and he's gotten her a bank job. . . . i felt sick for that. . .and now i have moved on hustling hard, and i now realized that trusting women was a bad idea. . .

fablouzLeged:
Pls I am 22 years of age a student but my damage hair is making me reluctant to even meet my Friends I am alway in face cap

It started in July 2020 when I decided to start bathing cold showers in the morning everyday and each time I enter the shower I always put my hair directly I will use brush and scrub my head hair because of dandruff I don't know that I was harming my hair I was doing that until one day my sister tell me am loosing my hair as I checked the mirror I was shocked and we are about to resume to school for that reason I started buying different oil ,and plenty hair products but no result



In early 2020 I have my thicker hair until July 2020 this thing Happen

I shave my hair but the back hair always grow fast and thicker


Pls help me I finished all my savings in buying hair products just to see quicker result but no its even started affecting my concentration in school I Always hide from my Friend s

My fellow nairalders please if you have any recommendation on how to revert my hair please help

Fantachapman:
The girl I am engaged to and want to marry told me today that i love her more than she loves me. What does this mean?

There was something we were discussing and I told her there are several things that she does that makes me doubt if she truly loves me. She then replied saying, she loved her ex more than he loved her, and so she decided to not love anyone more than she loves them. That as for me, I love her more than she loves me, that’s why I sometimes thinks she doesn’t love me.

I told her this is not something you tell someone you want to marry and she said I am taking it too far.

Please am I making a mistake to want to marry her? Does she love me? Or am I taking her statement too far like she said?

uncleck:
At 26, you're grown. Stop complaining about little things like this. Pick the sheet and wash or buy another one and fold the old one inside an abandoned case.