cooltola:
It works if you know the woman very well and you dated her when you were in Nigeria. It works even with a stranger as long there is trust, love and understanding. There are many men who have bought their spouses, girlfriends, love flings from Nigeria, marry them and are enjoying their marriage. But you do not hear about them on the news, social media or blogs because good news is boring and not entertaining. The only one you hear is the Texas man killed Nigerian Nurse

Exactly. There are always two sides to a coin

stonecoldcafe:
Anywhere you find good woman, marry and move on with your family life. Note the word - good woman

I had to emphasize it again lol

Leebeedo:


It's wrong to make a generalization based on just one or few cases you witnessed. I brought my girl over to the USA and everything has been smooth. I was scared though, but marriage no be by being smart, just pray you don't meet the wrong one cos you can meet them when you're based in Nigerian as well.

Lovely. There's no manual for it. It all boils down to the persons involved irrespective of where they are based - character, respect, conscience and all. May God continue bless your girl and home.

Alexaonfleek:
This abroad sef nor dey hungry me again

Hahaha people back home think living abroad is the highest achievement in this world.

somegirl1:

A lot of Nigerian men import wives from Nigeria for the wrong reasons.
They pick home-based women over Nigerian women already abroad, foreign black and white women with the mindset that they're easier to manipulate, subdue and control.
Truth is, the only difference between home-based women and Nigerian women abroad is exposure and availability of options, it's only a matter of time before the home-based lady adjusts to her environment.
Rather than bring a poor girl from Nigeria abroad to dictate to her what she's to study and expect her salary as recompense for putting her through school, how about these men invest in themselves, study nursing, medicine etc and make the money themselves.
I would never hand over my earnings to anyone if I had a choice, no one will wholeheartedly.
The moral lesson from these horror stories is for Nigerian men to stop attempting to use home-based women as investments and to stop being delusional about these women remaining subdued in a liberal society.

By the way, Nigerian women abroad also fall prey to home-based men who mistreat them once they leave Nigeria. It's not just the men that have sorrowful tales to tell.

Hahaha well, that's for some silly men who want to use women as their investment. I would rather have a happy home than all the money in this world...and I don't even see any money in Nursing to be honest. There are a million and one professions with less stress and demands that you can make more money than Nursing and still have time for yourself and family.

For someone like me (and most rational guys), I won't even marry any girl who desperately wants to study this "nursing" of a thing unless by sheer luck or fate, I met her a nurse and/or that was her God-ordained profession and not all these people rushing in for the money not knowing the huge stress and work hours involved.

Goodluck to men importing wives to send them to study Nursing as cash cows. Most of them don't live to tell the tales.

angelfallz:
All These Na story.

If a man marries a good wife take her to mount Everest, take her to the centre of the earth, her character and personality wouldn't change.

Your piece is just advocating for men to marry "akata" girls instead of home based girls. While forgetting that everyone is different.
Or do you want to say that there no bad experiences from men that married "akata" girls?

What you should be advocating for is that men should shine their eyes and marry women with the right character and attitude.

You have nailed it. These attacks have become popular these days and they are largely being sponsored by Nigerian ladies, both online and offline, who feel men leave them abroad in the cold and go back home to marry.

The issue here is character! You can meet a good/bad person abroad and the same goes for back home. I have seen guys that met their wives online and went home to marry and are now living happily abroad.

Be it home or abroad, as you rightly-said, shine your eyes well before settling with anyone.

A bad person is a bad person anywhere - abroad, heaven or hell, the person will always manifest his/her bad traits.

IhateInjustice:


Exactly, I just wish people will stop seeing genders and start seeing humans. Anyone(men or women) can be bad.

Condemn evil and leave out the gender that did it.

True. Anyone can be bad, man or woman.

This is quite unfortunate as it's a well-planned script. The woman was obviously cheating with someone back home unbeknown to the man. The signs are always glaring but it takes some kind of "street smartness" to figure them out.
They planned it all out for her to come and then divorce the guy and sponsor the boyfriend afterwards (or the bf could be living in the country illegally). It took just one month to know in a foreign country that the "feelings are not there" anymore but the feelings were there before and through the sponsorship period which takes several months. Its extremely difficult but the man should just dust up and move on. Karma is a beautiful bitch and I believe what goes around, comes around! I have a whole lot to type regarding this matter and issues bothering on character, toxicity, manipulation, blackmail, instability, impulse, conscience and pretense but some things are better not said.

Whether man or woman, treat people well; do not pay good with evil especially to those that loved you unconditionally and sought your advancement and upliftment in life as it will always come back to hunt you later.

hellohgy:
This issue is a very tricking one...


If we advise men not to sponsor their spouse to abroad cos once they get to abroad they change character it will look like one is wicked....



Do whatever works for you..

...but there are still good wives living happily and respectfully with their husbands abroad. The issue with these "bad eggs" is that the signs and inherent bad character are always there from the outset, going abroad only magnifies it.

Nazgul:

I agree with you...most times the signs are there. Just that many men are blinded by a non-existing love. A woman that will divorce you after just one month in marriage will actually have displayed such glaring signs but most men foolishly choose to ignore them.

I learnt one bitter truth in relationships. Who isn't yours isn't yours, never force anyone to love you.

Never endure anyone who's character isn't compatible with you because you love them, it will end in premium tears because people don't change they only get worse.

Never invest heavily on a partner to win her heart, your investment will earn you her body but not her heart.

Never go into conflict with your parents or siblings because of a partner. You'll be on your knees begging when your relationship goes south. (This one applies to females as well)

Never try to change or rebrand a partner, you'll end up getting frustrated. Go for the one that exhibits the characteristics of what you want and date her.

Never fall in love with a girl you love, rather fall in love with a girl who loves you. When you fall in love with a girl you love, if she doesn't feel the same way, you'll spend all your time in that relationships trying to gain her affection. She will torture you emotionally, drain you financially, manipulate you into doing things for her against your wish... etc. But when a girl geninuely loves you, she'll go any length and give anything just to be with you. Flee from home, borrow, make sacrifices...just to make you happy.

Finally, men should be wise, flying your spouse abroad isn't bad, but make sure she has earned your loyalty, trust and love.

Well articulated with valid points

Tolexander:
I will find a way of leaving Canada to US or any other country for the woman. To avoid taking care of her for 3years and also committing crime. Cos i may be tempted to kill the woman.

There are many cases of how some men killed their wives (mostly nurses) in US after bringing them to US from Nigeria, financing their school fees to become professionals.

Honestly, if one wasn’t careful as a man, one might kill the woman

Exactly! This one is draining and can make a man suicidal and murderous. Evil women make good ones look bad

Haaaa! I eat brownies every now and then oh. When did it start killing people?

ENG0701:
I dont know why there has been so much noise about people choosing to relocate, it is personal choice, not everyone will leave Nigeria. And there are less than 90,000 Nigerians in canada, it's not like everybody is leaving.

Exactly. I hate all these Canada this and that talks by wanna-be youtubers

BUSHHUNTER:
The way you people advertise Canada is so so overrated!! been to Quebec where everyone speaks French it's so fvcked up! language barriers, bad weather, quiet neighborhood... Mississauga, very expensive, unfriendly folks, strict laws etc.. they really need educated and skilled immigrants is that country!



Please quit the hype!!!! USA over Canada anytime any day!

I agree with the Mississauga part. Extremely expensive but the city is beautiful, habitable and well planned

I really don't blame them. I blame our brothers

emkz:
I regretted mine, not necessarily for what she did but for my inability to follow my instincts about her which could have prevented the calamity. We were not married but things had been done towards that like introduction and trad before kasala burst. I was happy kasala burst before we went farther.

For anyone who wants to get married, by all means do so...but marry for the right reasons. You first need to understand yourself and your own limitations. If your aim is to have children, perhaps a contractual arrangement suffices. Unfortunately, many marriages today are not different from service contracts: I will provide shelter, food and security while you provide pussy when I want it and how I want it, and you must not provide it to someone else. Or I am marrying you because society expects and would respect me to be married as it shows I am responsible.

The Dutch Prime Minister is single.

Or I'd marry you only because I love you. These are wrong reasons to be married. For a potential spouse, look at compatibility, companionship, communication, character and charisma. Exude these qualities yourself and you shall find it in your potential partner. Love will fade, the butterflies in your stomach shall die, your partner shall irritate you, what then would hold your marriage?

The stories of wayward men and women are told everyday on this forum. Don't let them deter you. There are very good men and women from very good homes who are responsible to be wifed or husbanded. I know this because all my sisters have been married for years and no one has come to report that they have issues with them.

Don't go looking for a wife. Develop yourself and have the values of someone husbandable, creation will link you to your spouse.

In closing, my question to you is:

Why exactly do you want to get married? Are you truly convinced of the answer you give yourself?

Well-written

Impressive!

myBraine:
Typical Nigerian mentality.

Can't an accomplished politician prosper in peace again?

A man that singlehandedly built Lagos from scratch doesn't deserve to own a mansion. Now I know how backward people's reasoning are in this part of the world.

Did a human being type this rubbish?

Yes oh. Those guys really tortured folks emotionally...

Well written. The part that got me is the posting of semi-nude pictures with motivational words and/or verses from the Bible...the more reason I fear girls who quote the Bible and form saints these days.

Useless government

MrBrownJay1:


The worst ones are the people back home who will make plan on your money... and if you (for example) tell them your salary is "only" €2000 monthly, they will convert that in Naira and then start saying that you are rich and can afford to send them money... not realizing that after paying taxes/mortgage/car loan/all bills/food/small small entertainment etc, you will probably be as broke as they are.

Spot on

When you advise them to nourish their brains by learning simple things, you become their enemy. See how this girl embarrased her entire family.

MrBrownJay1:


That's the sad mindset of people who have never set foot in the west AND the unfortunate image many Africans abroad want to project to the ones at home. You rarely see people abroad tell others at home that life is tough OR that they are broke and hungry OR that they can't make ends meet OR that the car/home they "supposedly" bought is a loan/mortgage and they have to repay that loan for years (sometimes even couple of decades)... Even when broke, they will be posting BS picture on social media as if all is rosy.

No wonder thereafter people back home will now believe that in the west you can plant a €100 note, water it, then come the next day and pick €200. Lol

This is part of the problem. Most guys abroad paint a picture of "I have arrived" to people back home especially to the ladies (in their lives). When they now come over and see that chairman is still trying to survive, frustration sets in. It takes a concerted effort, financial discipline and a postive attitude to really make it abroad.

Low self-esteem at work. I spit on such guys

phr33man:


Take it or you leave it. Nothing like having a woman in your life. Just pray you get a good one. No doubt many of these ladies are wh*res these days but I bet there are still a good number of decent ones. Are we better of as guys? No body only pass for either gender o. A real successful man not just money needs a woma(wife in particular) . We just have to pray to have a good wife who might probably have made mistakes too earlier in life.

Well said.

Oh wow! She even went to the extent of pouring the man water, right in front of their child I feel for the child. She will grow up with huge psychological imbalance.

Wait oh, no single lady on this thread to defend yourselves? Are y'all guilty as charged?

May God help us all.

The hardship in Nigeria is getting out of hand. I hope the useless Government can handle the ripple effect.

LiftedMan:
Its Sad, but one lesson everyone should learn from this is to take your time b4 you marry anyone, make sure you see who they are in the spirit b4 you marry them. All this "i love you and that all that matters " is risky without proper decernment.

Secondly, that was the same man that knelt down and proposed to her,
the same man that was so eager for wedding night ,
The same man that promised to keep her safe.

Its take more that Love to keep a marriage, you need many other things , but one key factor is Christ Jesus.

True! Love alone is never enough. It takes a whole lot to keep a union.

Amotolongbo:



https://dailypost.ng/2020/09/11/nigeria-issues-new-travel-protocol-for-china-us-europe-bound-passengers/

These people! I hope the North America they are talking about is just the US alone.

joelbooks:
Quite unfortunate , how can a Pastor be doing this on pulpit as if you in beer parlour or thugs joint.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7UiqtCKw08

This is very low. How could he? I haven't seen the video all these while. My goodness!

Jesus Christ! This is terribly disheartening