Peace be multiplied to all my fellow believers. Please, I need advice from only people that are Christians and are married. Male and female.

I'm 31 years old and I will finish fully from school by July(due to some delays). So it's not like I'm actually in a rush for marriage since I will still have to work for like 2 or 3 years before I settle down. But I believe that it's not too early to start searching and preparing.

I believe that once a Christian gets married, they are married for life and divorce is not an option for whatever reason except threat to the life. So I don't want to make a mistake that I will regret for the rest of my life.

So please, I just need advice generally from Christians that are already married. I want to know the lessons they've learnt from their marriages and things that single men can avoid. Specifically, I want to know things like; how did you meet your wife? The finance situation in a Christian marriage and the issue of sex in a Christian marriage.

Thanks very much.

ernie1234:
Bro that is exactly my wife you just described. We have been married for 10 years. I had serious issues with her and battled with issues of kissing which she doesn't like, pre-intimacy for where, she only likes direct.
We are both believers so I had to endure it overtime and as we speak now bro, I had to find a way to leave with it bro. I now enjoy her just the way it is and had to enjoy our sex life with 2 kids. My brother It's not easy oh but I had to discipline myself that I die with my wife no matter what.

I fear God so I don't want to engage in adultery or any kind of nonsense with other Jezebel ladies. My advise get used to it. Give her time she will adjust.

I love this.

Very few people have respect for marriages nowadays, any small issue you'll see people recommending divorce or cheating. I feel bad for you though that you're not getting total satisfaction from your marriage, but that is how life is o. Apart from the sex stuff hope everything else is okay in your marriage?

I'm not yet married so do you have any advice about marriage for me, as a fellow believer. I might create a thread about marriage in religious section.

I want to serve God completely all the days of my life.

LeoJee:
I regret marrying a wrong man, who later rejected/seperated frm me due to ill health.
Regretted not ve married d guy that proposed to me after my Uni days, cos he wasn't born again.

Why will you regret not marrying an unbeliever? The situation could have been worse.

Never ever be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever.

Kobojunkie:
Ok, but Jesus Christ, the one who is God's Law and New Covenant is the Kingdom of God never gave you any such commandments as the one's contained in the above verses you quoted.

And no man has authority given them by God, or even Jesus Christ, to add/change/remove commandments from God's Law in the name of God or Jesus Christ. So?

---

To top it all off, those commandments indicated above in those verses contradict
* God Himself by declaring His curse as instead commandments of some sort.
* Jesus Christ who proclaimed that He alone is Mastee/Head over each who belongs to Him.

I can no longer continue with this discussion. Every book in the new testament (Mathew to Revelation) is the Word of God, you shouldn't pick and choose which ones to to follow.

Kobojunkie:
What Two examples are you referring to and what have they to do with this?

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Col 3:18


Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Ephesians 5:22

Kobojunkie:
1. Genesis 3 vs 16

2. In Genesis 3 vs 16 God cursed marriage, and child birth.

3. There is no new testament commandment that wives submit to their husbands. Jesus Christ never gave His followers any such rules.

I just gave you two examples from the new testament or am i missing something?

Kobojunkie:
I never said submission in marriage is an Old Covenant commandment- God forbid!

Instead, submission is a result of God's curse on marriage in Genesis 3 vs 16, and it is from that curse, and all the others in in Genesis 3 vs 16 - 22 that Jesus Christ came to redeem us from.

I've modified my post. There was no curse for wives to submit to their husbands in the book of Genesis, if you disagree, you can show me. There was only a general curse for women and also men. I don't believe that women should submit to men. The new testament commandment is for wives to submit to their husbands, not for women to submit to men. Women are not expected to submit to every man the come across, they're only required to submit to their husbands.

Kobojunkie:
1. Nice try, but I am afraid you have it wrong!.

Jesus Christ made it clear to His followers that it is impossible to be submitted to two masters/head in the Kingdom of God. So it is impossible for a woman to submit to both her husband and Jesus Christ at the same time.

Also impossible to chose to live under curse and at the same time claim the salvation offered by Jesus Christ from the very same curse. You can't have one foot under the curse and the other foot in Jesus Christ- impossicant.

2. God's Old Covenant Law of Moses was given only to those who have the blood of Jacob coursing through their veins and this as Law for living in the Land of Canaan - Deuteronomy 30 vs 15 - 20. God never extended that Law towards the gentiles who didn't live in the land of Canaan, ever.

Now recall, when Jesus Christ came, He came to call sinners of the Old Law of Moses, to a New Covenant and Master, meaning the Jews who chose Jesus Christ were redeemed from following the Old Law and made alive in the New.

So, the commandments regarding honoring parents have absolutely nothing to do with anyone in Jesus Christ whose New Covenant Law requires instead that those who will become worthy of Him hate their parents, children, wife, husband, etc., for His sake..

3. Whenever you read anything in your Bible, always pay attention to the context of the messge you read and make sure to place God's Word, Jesus Christ, above the words of every other man's word contained.

If you has paid attention to context for instance, you would have realized then that the verse you quoted references Old Covenant Law of Moses Law - found documented in Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers. and Deuteronomy- and not New Covenant Laws given by Jesus Christ to His followers.

Submission is not an old testament commandment. Do you read your Bible?

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Col 3:18

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Ephesians 5:21-22

From Ephesians you can see it clearly that you submit to God first, then to your husband.

I'm not talking about being condemned by the law. I'm not saying that if you don't submit to your husband you will lose your salvation or go to hell. Jesus Christ already paid the price for all sins, all you have to do believe in Jesus Christ and accept the forgiveness for your sins.

Rather, I'm telling you about the way that God has structured the home to work efficiently as specified by the Bible. Do you think that God wants women to be unhappy in their marriages? Obeying God by submitting to your husband won't make you unhappy in your marriage. God wants to bless your home, you just have to trust him and obey him.

Kobojunkie:
1. Interesting!

2. Aren't you one of those who teach women to submit themselves to their husbands because they are heads over them in much the same way Jesus Christ is head over His Church?

Why fault the same women you indoctrinate with your lies when they follow the same head over their head whatever direction he goes? Let me guess, your false doctrine should only be applied in one situation but not all?,

3. Jesus Christ's offer of Salvation is from the curse God placed on mankind in Genesis 3 vs 16 - 22. So any man and woman who submits to living life under the curse (even in marriage - Genesis 3 vs 16) forfeits God's redemption from the curse through Jesus Christ.

Your question is a very simple one. You submit to God first, then next your husband. The Bible also asked us honour our parents but that doesn't mean that you will honour them more than God. In everything, it's God first.

Nobody on earth, be it father, mother, husband, wife, pastor, children, boss etc is worth more honour, respect, submission and love than God. Whenever you read anything in the Bible always know that it's God first.

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. Matthew 12:30

Sent87:

Thanks for the correction, I realized I was a little bit extreme in my response. I just wanted to prick his conscience. I retract my former declaration,him and his relatives are preserved and far from untimely deaths in Jesus name. Amen

Wow, this is nice. God bless you brother.

Dtruthspeaker:
True!

So it's possible for you to agree with me?

Sent87:


I wish you and your household what happened to Bamise, heartless human being. It will definitely happen to any of your relatives. Amen

Do you realize that you just wished death for other innocent people, do they deserve to die for being related to him. It would have been better to just wish him alone death.

Hoping someone dies because of an argument is still wickedness though, it means both of you don't have any regard for the human life and under different circumstances you will also commit murder. You should have just educated him and condemned his statements.

Gointo:
i pray in tongue in the holyghost as spirit gave me utterance and im a witness dat its a wnderful gift of d holyspirit....so that why i said the deceit start when fake tongues are prayed to show they are filled with the holyghost then dat same person who claims to have the holyghost and tongue in the flesh wil now fornicate with a girl and come to out and say sin doesnot take him to hell,jesus paid the price,finished work bla bla..deceit continual continual..he dat has an ear let him hear...

Be very careful about calling people's tongue fake except God specifically told you that it's fake. When it comes anything that involves the Holy Spirit try not to make unnecessary assumptions.

Now, about the fornication scenario you mentioned. Are you saying that if a Spirit filled person fornicates the person is definitely going hell? So since you received the baptism of the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in tongues, you've never committed any sin? Or it applies to fornication alone?

petra1:


What has this got to do with praying in tongues? Do you have any issues against it

It's shocking that a Christian will believe that praying in tongues will lead you astray, whereas, it's the exact opposite.

Image123:


Brother, the man Jesus Christ was here with us and forsaken by the Father when He bore the sins of the world. So again, do not sin even if you are Jesus Christ. God forsakes sinners.
You made an affirmative statement by informing us that Ananias and his wife were mere church goers and not born again.

I wasn't talking specifically about our conversation, I meant that generally don't compare man to Jesus Christ to emphasize your point. Jesus Christ is God, stop mentioning His name to win arguments, it's very disrespectful. I understand that you're trying to say that it applies to everyone. But it's wrong to start putting Jesus in the same category as man. You should give maximum respect to name of Jesus Christ, it is a name that is above all other names. Try to only call the name of Jesus Christ when it is absolutely necessary. Do you know that Jesus Christ was involved in the creation of the world?

About Ananias, my point is that we can't build doctrines on their story because the details given didn't even show that they were born again Christians. You don't build doctrines on assumptions. Besides, even if they were Christians you still won't have the right to build a doctrine on it because it was clearly a unique situation. How many people has God killed for lying to men of God in church. It's like taking a doctrine of not marrying because Paul never got married.

Dtruthspeaker:


It is not True I dodge them, it is rather that I answer them and 3 more stupid ones enter.

And the more I answer, the more even stupider questions seem to be coming.

And these degrading questions only come from little children for adults already know the answers to them all, but not you.

And this forum is for adults!

So you see, I am not expecting a little child here.

Lol

Gointo:
no man speak by the spirit of God trivalize sin,lol he said conventional sin.....nations and generations of people were destroyed because of what you called convention...in the last days false teaching shall abound,sponsored by lying spirit seducing men into inquity(spiritual leprosy and death).
i know your type it all started by learning praying in tongues..its written verily,verily i say unto you if a man is not born of water and of the spirit he can by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.you can ascribe the title of christian to yourself but i tell you the door of heaven is opened to those who do the will of my father in heaven to the very end,and its written blessed are those who hunger and thirst for the kingdom and its righteoness for they shall filled, with what? With the holyspirit. A word is enough for the wise.

I'm not trivializing sin, I'm just saying that sin cannot take a born again Christian to hell

Gointo:
Do you know that your teaching here(sin doesn't take you to hell) is the same thing Satan did to deceive mankind, when God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die and the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die..

What brought sin that we now talk about is disobedience to the word of God. .
Now the consequence of the disobedience is death.
Now GRACE which you've been falsely taught, is that by the fall of man ,man had been sentenced to death.

Now lord JESUS CHRIST offered himself as the LAMB for the atonement of sin to overrule the curse of death..
That is why he said to Mary when he went to raise lazarus from the dead in John 11:25
Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:

Also inRevelation 1:18
I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.

So grace is not pardon to sin .
But grace is that we sin no more ,because we have been given power to subdue the flesh by his spirit, that is why every believer main priority is to be filled with the holy spirit.

1 John 3:24 And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us.

I agree if a believer commit an error and is truly bitter about it and determined not to go back to his vomit ,he will be forgiven and will not be denied his rightful place in heaven...

You don't know what grace is. By definition, the Gospel of Grace is receiving forgiveness without the works of the law. This simply means that you are now righteous without having to do anything for it . Believing in Jesus life and accepting His sacrifice for sins is the only requirement to go to heaven

I'm not advocating that anybody should live a life of sin. I'm simply saying that sin cannot make you lose your salvation because you didn't get your salvation by being righteous you got it as a gift. So you should never try to work for something that has been given to you freely. All you have to do is receive the righteousness of God and stop trying to get righteousness by fulfilling the laws. There are a lot benefits obeying God's commandments but getting eternal life is not one of them.

Dtruthspeaker:


O boy! It is very unhealthy for me to argue with a growing child like you.

See, what Paul did in Acts 17:16-31.

Sorry, son, you too little for me to be arguing with you as your "you do not know is making us move from one issue to another to another.

And since you think you know, then we should not be moving. But your movements clearly show, you know too little to amount to any tangible knowledge!

You always dodge my questions

Giving has been bastardized among Christians nowadays. Most Christians just give because they are hoping to receive it back in hundred folds, which is not bad.

But personally I believe that God is more interested in giving that is done out of love. People no longer care about helping their fellow Christians and fellow human beings, they only care about sowing seeds. This is why you will see a person supposedly sowing seeds into a billionaire's life while he has neighbours that are struggling to survive.

Every giving should be done out of love and not because you're hope to receive it back. In the book of Corinthians the Bible said that even if you give your body to be burnt and you don't do it out of love it will profit you nothing and there's not a word from God to be gotten from it

My view on this is that, give to whoever needs it, not because you are looking for a fertile soil. Stop giving pastors that are already extremely rich when you can give it people who need it more.

Your first responsibility is to your neighbour and who is your neighbour? Your neighbour is anybody you know that is in need of help. So please, let your focus be on helping people and not on sowing seed to receive blessings.

Now of course when you give to people that are in need you can be rest assured that God will pay you back. So it's ok to expect prosperity when you give. But you have to give out of love not because you are expecting it back. Thank you

Ronnnie:

I know how you feel but trust me it's for the best.....the relationship was Already over before she told you...
Don't overthink it rather learn from it and move on
YOU LOST NOTHING VALUABLE BY LOOSING HER...trust me

Yeah. I'll get over her. I've deleted all her numbers and pictures. I have never loved anyone the way I loved her. I've been dating for the past 14 years, although longest was 3 years and I didn't even feel this bad. Never say never but I don't think I'll ever date again with the way I feel now. I know I'll be alright though

Ronnnie:

You plan to do??...tot you asked on behalf of a friend..lol
Well no need to be ashamed Kos it happens to all of us...you did nothing wrong and she just became unresponsive.....
I dunno her reasons..it could be the relationship became boring to her(no fights,no quarrels,you are always available etc) or she saw someone else and she just Wana act that way till you get the sign and break up or she could be testing you to see how you will react...
My advice for you is to do NOTHING...
Delete her number,pictures,videos and anything that reminds you of her....
Force yourself to get over her and you will with time...and when or if she tries coming back,Never take her back ever or she will do worse over time....Don't even tell her you are breaking up with her Kos she will use her maniputive skills on you and peg you down...
Let her Go now Boss....Don't go through what we went through..Have some self respect
Respect is better love

She just confirmed that the relationship is over. I changed my approach of questions. Thanks for your advice though

Gointo:
REPENT NOW,AND CRY OUT TO GOD FOR MERCY.

God has already shown me mercy by dying for me. I have therefore obtained the mercy of God when I gave my life to Jesus Christ

Gointo:
the devil is the father of all lies.verily verily i say unto you if your righteosnes is not greater than that of the pharisee you cant enter the kingdom of heaven..verily verily i say unto you not everbody that calls me lord,lord will enter the kingdom of heaven,you will say lord did i not preach on nairaland.go to church,heal the sick and cast out demons,the lord will away from me you worker of iniquity.

I agree. The righteousness gotten by grace from God is greater than that of the Pharisees or the one you hope to get by works.

Gointo:
when they find sin hard to let go,because of their hardened heart,then they twist the gospel to feel comfortable in sin.instead of crying out to the lord for help..GOD CANNOT MOCKED.if only you know how sweet holiness is,if only you know.

Holiness is sweet when it comes by grace. The sweetness you're referring to is most likely self righteousness. But do you know the problem, even with all your self righteousness you still don't deserve eternal life. Eternal life can only be gotten by grace.

rottennaija:
Love is earned, never commanded. In all cases in life, you earn someone's love, we see that in relationships people engage in. When love is commanded, it becomes an abuse.

Is someone dying for you not a good enough reason to love the person?

God created us all. When sin came into the world and man was condemned. God the Father sent Jesus Christ who is also God to die for our sins.

There should therefore not be anyone in this life that you would love more than God. He is the only person that you have a guarantee to be with forever. Even if your spouse doesn't leave you while on earth, he or she will leave you when you die. It's only God that you will be with forever, so in comparison, there's nobody on Earth that you should love more than you love God.

Now when you love God this greatly helps your relationship with your spouse because you will relate with her based on your love for God. The God kind of Love (agape) is the greatest kind of Love there is. So you see the best thing you can ever do in life is to love and value your relationship with God more than that of your spouse.

it always saddens me when I see Christian wives convert to Islam because of their husbands or boyfriends. Why will you lose eternal salvation over 40 years of happiness (which is usually not the case). My dear brothers and sister please always make it a point to love God more than you love your spouse. Let God be the final say in your relationship or marriage not your feelings, not your love for your spouse, nothing else but God. God bless you all

If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:25

petra1:
Very interesting Topic . . . .

What are your thoughts?

Ronnnie:

Don't listen to her advice...you called,messaged and am sure if you were closer to her,you would have visited.....
She even updated her status so nothing do her boss....don't try visiting her Kos she will loose total respect for you...if something was wrong with her,a girl will let a guy she love know about it no matter the condition....
She has moved on and you do the same...
You can take my advice or take hers....just remember
"If you want to learn how to catch a fish,Ask the fisherman and not the fish"....
I hope you understand this

This is exactly my view too.

Davenks:
Dear OP, hold on to what you have learned so far, but stop arguing with fools. The only thing you got wrong here is that one can lose their salvation. A believer cannot lose his salvation. He promised us eternal life. You cannot reject Jesus Christ after salvation as you are bone of His bone and flesh of His flesh. Will you pluck out your eyes because it refused to shed tears? Will you chop off your arm because it refused to be part of your body? We are the body of Christ. You can’t lose your salvation but you could lose your rewards at the judgement seat of Christ (1 Cor. 3:9-15; 2 Cor. 5:10-11; Rom. 14:10), or your right to rule and reign with Him at His millennial reign (2 Tim. 2:11-13; Rom. 8:14-16…”and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.” So the condition of earning rewards is suffering. Putting down your flesh from sinning is part of suffering. Living a holy Christian life, studying your Bible every day are part of suffering as they wear the flesh out.

1 John 5:12-13 “He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life. These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.”

Thank God for the blood of Jesus Christ. A believer is simply a saved sinner.

Even so, come, Lord Jesus. Amen.

I actually do believe that you can lose your salvation, but it won't be because of sin. You can lose your salvation by denying or rejecting Jesus Christ.

This is why it's always good to seek God regularly, by reading the word of God, listening to godly messages and musics, by praying, praising and thanking God regularly etc.

The problem is when you don't seek God regularly but you still continue to live in sin. You can get to a point that, if for example, somebody puts a gun to your head and say deny Christ or I will kill you, you might be tempted to deny Jesus.

Dtruthspeaker:


Yes!

Like you, if you spoke Truly, we found it difficult to understand Paul's writings especially as it was not that hard in understanding Mathew, Mark and co.

But here comes Romans and gbam, it was a case of "what is this man saying now?"

It was while I was in the University trying to Study Law (whilst they were teaching "Not Law", Pastor Bakare, then pointed it out that "you know Paul is a Lawyer and trust lawyers, they know how to go into places no one has gone".

I did not know what that meant then but I held it in mind, until I became a Lawyer.

And it was then I re-visited Romans and co and then, gbam! I then saw, that Paul's Letters, "are Law Documents". Exactly how we, lawyers Write. Word for word, meaning for meaning, ensuring that we capture "every relevant issue" that is within the Scope of the Subject Matter.

And I am quite Angry that Pastors who are Lawyers do not teach these things.

Now this is funny. This actually made me laugh.

Let me help you. Let's start from the basics, what do you mean by the phrase; Paul was a Lawyer? Do you think that Paul was going to Court to argue cases? Which type of law do you think paul studied?