₦airaland Forum

Admit it, u dey trip 4 ituen, nor take hn sister code.

Don't wory, i nor c ur last post b4 i post. I been think say u deh do promo 2day na why u nor wan fire d guy back.

No $hit! I'm in.

Ure forgive c0z. . .I'm lmao

Ben?

*buys the chicken, and on entering the street, drives over, and crushes raves asto matin wit his ferrari lamboguine*
@clem
here u are honnie.

@ben
if ur hug nor pass normal, no wahala. But nor provoke me o.

@ben&TT
dat sounds like fun, count me in. Are weapons allowed?

If I picture d scenerio, i go laff tire. But, if not, i go just deh stare.

Na im mama wey dey xpect money i pity pass.

Keep asking. I don begin doubt if u go primary sch.

Thanks

. . . . Dawg, u try to catch points 4rm her ryte? Lmao.

So deal wid'it.

I don come o.
TT
abeg buk fyte for me and ben. Enuf is enuf. If it is not clem it is tess. Ben u nor fit search?

Raven's dreams came true.

Lol. Yeah, technical jokes are d funnies if u hit d right spot at once.

@ituen
so u sef like to deh luk women fyte.

Wit groundnut stew.

D prev 2 are on point but dis last one is just pointless.

Okay? Ur point?

Ben blood dey hot.

*and he just flips back on top*

Ha ha ha

@ituen
watever ur plan is, GO TO HELL.

@ituen
I know ur plan has always been to ridicule me. Too bad i dont really give a $hit wat u think.

Lol.

Ponderings for 2008

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Hot.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day;
teach a person to use the Internet and he won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Consider what Willie Nelson said regarding being caught recently with a bag of Marijuana: "It's a good thing I had a bag of Marijuana instead of a bag of spinach.
I'd be dead by now."

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars,
and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT TO PONDER IN 2008:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

How Old is Grandma?

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events. He asked what she thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

The grandma replied, & I quote; Well, let me think a minute . I was born before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses, Frisbees and the pill.

There was no radar, credit cards, laser beams or ball-point pens. Man had not invented pantyhose, air conditioners, dishwashers, clothes dryers, well the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and man hadn't yet walked on the moon.

Your granddad and I got married first, and then lived together. Every family had a father and a mother, and every boy over 14 had a rifle that his dad taught him how to use and respect. And they went hunting and fishing together.

Until I was 25, I called every man older than I, 'Sir'-and after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, 'Sir.' Sundays were set aside for going to church as a family, helping those in need, and visiting with family or neighbors.

We were before gay rights, computer dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.

Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense. We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living here was a bigger privilege.

We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent. Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins. Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started.

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends not purchasing condominiums.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios. And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.

If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk. The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam. Pizza Hut, McDonald's , and instant coffee were unheard of.

We had 5 & 10 cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel. And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day, 'grass' was mowed, 'coke' was a cold drink, 'pot' was something your mother cooked in, and 'rock music' was your grandmother's lullaby.

'Aids' were helpers in the Principal's office, 'chip' meant a piece of wood, 'hardware' was found in a hardware store, and 'software' wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap; how old do YOU think I am - ?

Grandma would be only 65 years old in 2007

WHY THE CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD


GEORGE W BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against
us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by
unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the
wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting
a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there
is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
syndrome. Can you believe this?!? How much more of this can real
Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars.
And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the
government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.
I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.
No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a
serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream
of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road,
or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE
I invented the chicken!

THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken
THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the
road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?

WHY THE CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD


GEORGE W BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against
us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by
unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the
wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting
a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there
is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
syndrome. Can you believe this?!? How much more of this can real
Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars.
And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the
government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.
I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.
No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a
serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream
of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road,
or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE
I invented the chicken!

THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken
THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the
road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?

END OF THE WORLD

When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it?

USA Today: WE’RE DEAD

The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS

National Enquirer: O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN

Playboy: GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE

Microsoft Systems Journal: APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE

Victoria’s Secret Catalog: OUR FINAL SALE

Sports Illustrated: GAME OVER

Wired: THE LAST NEW THING

Rolling Stone: THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR

Readers Digest: BYE

Discover Magazine: HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW
IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?

TV Guide: DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR!

Lady’s Home Journal: LOSE 10 LBS. BY JUDGMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW
“ARMAGEDDON” DIET!

America Online: SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY CALLING BACK IN 15
MINUTES.

Inc. magazine: TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE

Microsoft’s Web Site: IF YOU DIDN’T EXPERIENCE THE RAPTURE, DOWNLOAD
SOFTWARE PATCH RAPT777.EXE.

Sun: ARMAGEDDON TOLERANT SOFTWARE NOW AVAILABLE!