₦airaland Forum

wait o jackpot.
Which of em line you dey try call?
Na the zain or mtn?

**ehem better person don show sef**

hey agybaby what's up? How was your day?
Please come over to this other place *beakons to her*
wait lemme get you something to drink.

id,
stop doing this to yourself abeg. Why are you getting yourself all walked up for nothing?you think this is politics or romance section? This is jokes arena,incase it skipped your memory:
all what we do here is strictly for fun.make this thread no go give you chronic depression o.
Why did i even put ya name sef.
Mtcheww!

eh. . Ehm . .
We fit call pope na.

@id
chill!!
Calm down jor!!
Wetin you go take?
Coke?

yeah,i dey think towards that security line.no mind that donkoll,by the time i install computer-simulated sec. Cameras everywhere dem go hear am.
Btw,that reminds me of agybabe,after the launching, she no come show again o.
I ll like to employ her,that chick back na baghdad.
You know na.

no doubt pink is cool, you know babes like pink alot.

lwtmb

in fact.
Im forced to conclude that mourinho is indeed not a good coach.
He's just over hyped jor.
He should have played kaka in that midfield,introducing a 4-4-2 formation with benz and higuain leading the attack.
Na wa o!
Guardiola na winsh?
Ever wondered why he played sanchez and fabregas ahead of villa and pedro?
What a coach!!

halloween ko,harajuka ni,
those ones na big big grammer jor,
Im more interested in the dress code for the ladies.
I want it c.ú.mshot bumshot style.
How you see am?

lmao!!!

donkoll,
shuo,see as one can of chilled palmwine just dey high you anyhow.

*bright enters*
oga welcome o.
How ya family?
Wetin i go serve you?

@liltech
lwtmb!!
So ben-10 travel go mars?

@op,
mtv sh.!t!!
you wan tell say una get cable abi?

jack leave dani matter jor.
How the closing ceremony go be like na?
No vex too much o.
Make person no end up for morgue o!!

dani,
ya own na 'keep the names coming', 'keep the names coming'.haba!!
Na ashawo house be this?
Where you dey go sef?
Make i use natasha come?
Lol!

*holding back donkoll* wait . . wait . . . wait. . . Give me the money for the 2 bottles of suya and 2 cans of palm wine you order before you break dani head first.
You never pay for ya drinks you want fight here abi?
Today today wey i start business! Pay me jor!!

oga jackpot e dey for fire o,but make i bring hot goalder and digestive biscuit for you? E go serve as appetizers.

come oh,
So donkoll babe na albino?
Choi! I no know o.
But you sure say bin babe sef get better manchester and they are up front and united? And you know if her arsenal big? You know say those type dey magnate customers sharp sharp. Esp pharoh!!

@dani,
na my world class bar be this and na only me dey call the shots here.
You no go dictate to me wetin i go do. You hear me so?
look at me and look at trouble o,u wan drag the ownership of this bar with me?
Talk wetin you want jor,make i serve u. I no dey for hanky panky.
Other customers dey wait.

donkoll
ok oga, *hands bin a chilled Can of palmwine*
mehn,but how you take know say i need dish washers?
You dey sensitive o. And before i forget, me need bar tender assistants sef,ya gf dey available?

See as person leave road dey enter bush!!
studio,nicon hiton??
Choi, shey una no go hold studio back?
Na like this person dey take dig em own grave o. Na so em go chop for one local fastfood d other day without money,na so dem just pounce on the poor guy. Na bin gbagbo save am that day. If not . . .
Em want start again ,em think say bouncers no dey there.

welcome saddler, na the latest all expensive ultra modern bar joint be this o.
We don land to paint the town pink.
Mehn,this ya ferrari canoe make sense die.
Choi,na 2015 model?
Eh . . Em . . E get one small gutter wey dey front.
Just drive go front small,come back again,then pretend like say you want go left,then change to gear 6,then turn to the middle of the center,you go see the gutter:just park ya canoe there.
Thank you sir.

ah oga donkollione our alomo just dey finish now now,but na the two bottles of suya dem be this. Cans of palm wine too dey o,e cold well well.
Shey make i bring two cans too?

Event : Launching of the New Ultra modern Jokes Section All Jokers Offtopic Bar Joint (Reloaded) Building.
Invited : All The Cream De La Cream Of Nairaland Society.
Venue : Reception Hall,1st Entertainment Avenue,Nairaland.
Special Guest of Honour : Chief Mr. OluwaSeun Osewa.
MC : His Shepke Highness - Chika Odili a.k.a Jackpot.
In Attendance : 820,000 (filled to capacity).


Jackpot : Ladies and Gentlemen without much ado,allow me to make welcome M I K U Z !!>(*The auditorium erupts into an uncontrollable hysteria of Majestic Applause*)
Mikuz : (*Bearing in mind that he has finally become a famous figure - with the warm welcome from the crowd,steps into the podium,clears his throat and . . .*)
Ladies and MentleGen . . . (*pretends as if he has a problem with the MIC,the way he gazed at it as Bright007,Jackpot and the Whole crowd watch on with suspense,but Mikuz continues . . .*)
Ladies and Gentlemen,All protocols observed . . .(* looks more confident now as he straightens out the collar of his €50,000 worth of French suit and shakes off his arms a little so as to reveal his arm and leg costing gold wrist watch,this impels Chi-baby and Efemena_xy to arch their neck!! Mikuz fires on . . .*)
I am honoured to be in this historical gathering this evening and have Nairaland's Jokes Section Best Poster for Year elect - Jackpot!!! To have the torch of the Bartender passed over to me. The relationship between the old members of this section and that of the new ones have become more harmonized today, with my ascension to this enviable position. I would love to say more but unfortunately I have to keep it this brief.
So its about that time again, we get on a state of reunion,with due respect to everyone here present both the old and new members as the case may be. Just wondering how this event could have been ,without your unwaivering support and attendance, I am indeed ungrateful.

Giving much thanks to :
Jackpot (Jokes Section Poster for Year!!)
Bright007 ( Of 'Where is d Joke' Hall of Fame)
Studio Cfr ( Copy and Paste Joker for Year)
Dani1luv ( One and Only Imaginary Best Mod I of Nairaland)
El Guapo (2nd Best Jokes Poster for Year)
Sledge (3rd best Jokes Poster for Year)
Ajibel ( Jokes Section Best Critic for Year)
Element G (Jokes Section Best Old Member for Year)
Efemena_xy (The Effizzy Babe)>Idowuogbo (Mrs Badosky = 'E better Say I no Talk o')
Booqee ( My First Lady)
Recognitions to :
McAdem a.k.a Mike Na Dem
Mustspin a.k.a Mustn'tspin
Chi-baby a.k.a Ifedinaukwu
Kellynoah a.k.a Kelly,you know am?
TonyFred a.k.a Tony the Fried Rice
Tellwisdom a.ka. The Television
Dyt
Donkollione a.k.a E don kolo
Bunmioguns
Bin gbagbo a.k.a Bin crap-gbo
ObiomA
Hamid
Pharoh a.k.a The lost Pharoah
Excellboi
Ben-10
Agybabe
Bad guy
Mykali
Mr. Bones
(*Abeg no vex if I omit ya name oh!!)
(* Over at the new bar in the midst of a huge crowd*)
Seun : This you all now know is the ultra modern 2012 version of the Famous Bar Joint for Jokers. After a boring day at the office just hop in and ask for bottle(s) of anything of your choice and Mikuz would be at your service.
(* looks for the scissors . . . Can't find it . . . So . . . *)
So on behalf of My cabinet members,the mods and what have you ,I thereby commission this Building (* he bites and cuts the ribbon with his teeth as the crowd Dance and wine away with Enyoyment!*)

nah,
on yahoo messenger.
No be me and Fb abeg.
Their wahala too much.

@egbe
thank God another normal human don vote for the right man.
Ya head dey there jor.


This is it!

@agybabe
dont mind that pharoah.when you give a man inches he would take yards.
The scavenger ran all the way from egypt because of his peoples' protests in tahirs square to this bar. The night he came,i was strongly against jack giving him refuge but all i said fell on deaf ears.he shunned me, saying it pays to be a good samaritan,now see . . . see where it has landed him.pharoah now wants to snatch you from me.

Just dont listen to him,oya come and sit on my laps, i bet you gon' feel better sweerie.

@dani1luv
you shouldn't have nullified saddler's vote.

^
so you be port harcourt boy.

oboy see celeb.