₦airaland Forum

Onyeasi so you be gay??

@onyeasi
free el jor!

^Hahahahahahahehehehehe
Funniest chick on nl no doubt!

@onyeasi
do i know you?

just imagine! No single respect again! Na me you dey talk to like that abi? I no just blame you,because you dey see me for nairaland esp this section wey seun carry do em dust bin.

No mind am.

^ too late! He has already gone loco! Better look somewhere else.

Na true sha! Na this type of deal studio dey like! And em fit am wella.

El wetin come concern you? Is it your business?

Na my money.
Btw mind ya self o!

Being dry!

Lol! Thirded and fourthed

^
lwkmd!

^
for this joke?

Personally think it is illuminatic.

^Hehe more like it!

^
why? Haven't you heard of the foi bill? You are not connected to the internet or what?

Wtf?
*gets infuriated a breaks ibada's head*

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I hadbeen dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me - it was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-lawwas twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generallywas bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she hadfeelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my lifeto her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
Stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.
I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me andsaid, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask fora better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.

A businessman was trying to choose a lawyer, but was being very careful about it. He scheduled appointments tointerview three lawyers.
At the first lawyer's office, after an initial exchange of pleasantries, the businessman said, "Okay, let's get down to business. I have an important question for you, and I want you to think carefully before answering. How much is two plus two?"
The lawyer raised his eyebrows. "two plus two is four." The businessman thanked him for his time, and proceeded to his next appointment.
The second lawyer, who was also a CPA, seemed a bit more particular than the first lawyer. After an initial discussion, the businessman again announced that he had a very important question, and asked, "How much is two plus two?"
The second lawyer went over to a computer, and entered figures into a spreadsheet. "According to my calculations, two plus two is approximately four." The businessman thanked him forhis time, and proceeded to his next appointment.
The third lawyer sat behind abig mahogany desk, and smoked a cigar. He seemed rather self-important as compared to the other two, but at the same time appeared to be much more successful. The businessmanagain announced, "I would like you to answer a very important question for me, before I decide whether I should use your services. How much is two plus two?"
The lawyer pulled the shades, locked the door to his office, and asked in a hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?"

An old farmer is sitting on hisporch when a young man pulls up in a car and says,"Excuse me, sir. I notice you have milkweed growing in your field, may I get some milk?"
The old fellow chuckles to himself and says "You can't get milk from milkweed young man."
The young man says, "I thinkI can sir, if you'll let me try." The farmer says "Well you just go right ahead then."
An hour later the young man returns four gallons of milk and sets one on the porch."Thank you sir, this ones foryour kindness." gets in his car and leaves.
The farmer is stunned. The next day the same young man pulls up and says, "I notice you have honeysucklegrowing in the hedgerow, do you mind if I gather some honey?" The farmer says,"You don't get honey from honeysuckle son." The youngman says, "I think I can sir, ifyou'll let me try." The farmer gives his consent and is amazed when the man comes back later with 4 quarts of honey and leaves one for the old farmer.
The next day the same young man pulls up and says, "Excuse me sir, I notice you have some pussy-willows growing next to your pond" The farmer jumps up and says "Hold on son, let me get my hat."

Me self dey wait o!

Waoh! What a mouth watering offer! El abeg no fall my hand o.

@efemena
lol! Lemme have the bank cards please.

I aint surprised.

A Federal High Court in Lagos has sentenced the Group Managing Director of Skye Bank, Mr. Kehinde Durosinmi-Etti, to prison fordisobeying its order.
Durosinmi-Etti is also to payN5m and remain in jail “untilhe purges himself of contempt.”
Justice Charles Archibong delivered the judgment in a suit instituted by Desange Nigeria Limited, the judgment creditor.
Desange had secured a judgment against the Nigeria Customs Service in 2010, but the organisation refused to pay the judgment sum.
This forced Desange to file a motion to garnishee the accounts of the NCS in five banks.
http://punchng.com/Articl.aspx?theartic=Art201107052383348

@rokiatu
please i want to be a big fan of yours.

Halle berry all the way!

Love to get married to ebube nwagbo or rukky sanda.

Funny enough!