₦airaland Forum

Mindfulness:
Everything you need to know is on this thread on this page:

https://www.nairaland.com/2273391/what-like-try-next-life/1#50259555

Thank you

Mindfulness:
Exactly.

Everyone relax some more.

When you feel stressed out, that's the time to relax. It may seem counterproductive but it's when you need new energy the most.

Teach me how to... I need it too pls

I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live as if there isn't and to die to find out that there is.
Albert Camus

Cc Seun

FTBOY:
op, please help me get that girl's number...biko!
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We talking owl, you talking bae go away.

Its usually very easy to proffer solution(s) when we are not the one in the situation.
Op, please you need to completely erase cheating on your wife or divorce from the options you have. If you cheat on her, yea, you might get away with it and your relationship with the other lady might even seem beautiful at first but trust me, it's not gonna last, you will end up spending extra money that you do not even have, and at the end of the day, when you eventually see that the grass ain't greener on the other side, you will end up hurting the other lady by dumping her.

Please, times are hard, people are really struggling, you are not in this alone. Just be steadfast and everything will fall into place.

5minsmadness:
Its a very common problem in marriages actually. Rough times, reduced libido in the female, the male get frustrated and starts to wonder if he wouldn't have made more progress if he was on his own etc.

I cannot help but agree with you at the emboldened. hmmm. All is well.

A lot of strain. The romantic dinner might not be so romantic with three kids running around and making noise up and down, maybe they can send them away for a night, like a sleepover.

Makes sense.

Then i also read his other thread and am like 'hm'. Hope he married her from his heart/mind oh. Cos things might even get a little rougher before they get better and both partners will need a lot of resilience.

I had this on my mind too when i read his previous thread. Let's just hope things work out well for them.

5minsmadness:
But @op if u persevere things will definitely improve. If u can't take a small holiday u can try the 15mins of stillness and calming of your mind that mindfulness advocates. It should help relax you and take the edge off your irritability. Maybe introduce it to your wife too to help her relax as well as she must be equally stressed having to take care of three kids.

Please i need you expatiate on that, i think i need it too. Thanks.

5minsmadness:
Its the stress. Its telling on both of u.

Have u considered taking time off? Both of you going ona short vacation, maybe for like a week? A weekend may not be enough as you will both most likely spend it sleeping or catching up on other stuff? Anyone you can keep the kids with for that length of time?

Hang in there. You havent said anything extraordinary that other guys dont go through in marriage, wether home or abroad. It gets better if you can be patient and pull through this rough patch.

They are trying so hard to make ends meet, i am not sure they can actually afford to stay off from their respective jobs for a week (i stand to be corrected). To cut cost, they can probably try to reignite the spark right there in the comfort of their home, one or two candles here and there and they have a perfect romantic dinner date . It is well. I am sure it's just a phase, they will pull through.

5minsmadness:
If all women did this all men would lie submissive at their feet.

I know right

firstking01:
Hello??

Hi there

lezznjr:
Damn!!! Brutal dismissal.

saintfellow:
mim.zyy should i continue with my 8pm thread?

Anything that keeps your deflated balls on the rise...

Mcayofficial:
This nollywood blockbuster should be titled SETTLED IN THE OTHER ROOM

But seriously, dis option no dey, so wat would u choose?

If the available options aint feasible, you create your own. I just did

Ishilove:
My dear that's him o, that's why I used a side view pic.

Hung.erBad darling, no vex

Lol, now i understand better Creamish, you missed, whew!!

tugar:
is this for real? or normal romantic story

There is no big issue or small issue.

None of the two options listed above will work for me so here is my number 3 (AS THE WOMAN)

3. One the argument becomes heated, cool down, hug him tight(he is gonna resist but make sure you hold on tighter ). Tell him you love him and you are sorry for exchanging words with him (remember that men are egocentric in nature, he will love this and his head will swell ). Plant a deep kiss(very very french kiss oo) on his lips, then take him to the other room and remind him(not in words,but in actions ) that you remain his personal porn star .

When he wakes up in the morning, apologize again, then calmly tell him what he said/did to piss you off the night before, he will apologize (might not be in words, some men do not know how to say sorry, yes it's bad but that is just how they are wired but he will show remorse somehow). #CaseClosed

Ishilove:
Okay o...

HungerBad, I will remove it soon

cc Mim.zyy

IS YOU KIDDING MEEEEEEE HE IS SOOOO FOINNNEEEEEEEE #HEARTATTACK #FAINTS

HungerBad is that really you or is Ishi up to her usual pranks

Creamish come and see, we have a new addition to our #BeardedGangMen

sharonsto:
please can anyone advise me on the cheapest state(s) to deliver my baby in February and when its advisable to travel. thanks

Please be precise, is it within Nigeria or outside?
At this stage, going by your EDM, you should have a hospital (where you have registered) for your ante natal visits.

Ujoan:
Nah wah ooh, I really need to learn people's history before 'advising'

https://www.nairaland.com/1230609/should-take-back#14830107

Poster, this your post happened in 2013 abi? How then have you been married for 5 years

I went through the previous thread via the link you posted and something struck me. What if the Op never really forgave his wife and he only accepted her back due to pressures from all angles?

Now that they have children and they have responsibilities to take care of left, right and center, it's beginning to take it's toll on their marriage.
From his story, the little i was able to deduce is that they had a very beautiful relationship, events unfolded, they broke up, made up again and things were never the same again. They have probably been trying to patch things up all these while to no avail.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dear OP (kunleajaye), here is my opinion. You are already in this, God has blessed you and your wife with three wonderful children. Do everything you can to reignite the spark in your marriage. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Opting out might seem like a huge relief but believe me, it is only a temporary relief. Your wife has agreed that she has her fair share of the blame which is a good one. Yorubas will say that "The day a mad man realizes that he is unclothed is the day his sanity will be restored".

It is not easy taking care of just one child not to talk of three adorable children. You both are trying very hard to make ends meet and now is not the time to give up. Be realistic with yourself, pick a pen and a paper, pen a list of everything you think your wife is doing wrong. Have heart to heart discussion with her when the children are in bed. TALK WITH HER, NOT AT HER . Ask her if there is anything she feels that you are also doing wrong and ways that she feels you can make things better.

This is your marriage, your life, no other woman will ever shower the kind of love and affection that your wife is giving to your children so please erase the thoughts of divorce (if you have it already). Above all, PRAY and ask God to lead you aright. It is well

lezznjr:
Clear-eyed, beauty. I have added you to my contact list but you didn't appear in the list.

But I think you just downloaded BBM again or you flashed your phone to be getting that kind of glitch.

Let me see what I can do.

Thank you dear

lezznjr:
!

Lezz, i duno what's wrong. I keep getting signed out of bbm. Can't find you 'guys' again. Re-invite me please. Thanks.

Seconded

Birthday shout out to you HungerBAD. God bless you greatly.

Creamish:
Happy birthday Mr Ishilove-HungerBAD.


Ishi..post pix of the handsomeness or adonbelivit!

IamLEGEND1:
It's been a while. How have you been?

Great. Missed you

IamLEGEND1:
Hol'up
na you be this abi na scam?

Go figure

IamLEGEND1:
All i could deduce from that shìt is the screeching cries in written form of an unrepentant,pussy_whipped sìssy.

Hey legend, what's up?

C0ck n bull...

Uncle Serubawon, i think i need your input on this thread. Afternoon sir.

cc ishilove creamish

lezznjr:
You have the powers to take me if you up your game.

One look at those eyes and I'll know where home is.

I will rather pass You are too much of a competition Trying to win you will be mentally and physically exhausting.

lezznjr:
More of what?

More of his time, attention, etc

lezznjr:
I can't find myself in that boxed situation to begin with. Every married man's car is marked by default, I know that .

She'll be meeting me up at the usual rendezvous , not me driving about like a pussy-crazed teen to pick her up.

ARCHIVED . Your fidelity will be questioned at a future date.

lezznjr:
Then she should learn to cope or lose the love entirely.

A compromise will be reached. She gets his love and he keeps his home; win-win situation

There is nothing like a win-win situation in this case dear. The lady(gf) will want more at a point and that's when the problem(s) will ensue.
Most times, the gf is at the losing end.