₦airaland Forum

Really sad. As earlier suggested, contact her state's ministry of social welfare.

I can bet with my last kobo that those so-called Prophets in that part of the Country who have their PhD in witchcraft detection are schizophrenics themselves, misinterpreting their hallucinations and religious delusions as being gifted.... folks who ought to be cooling off in psychiatric wards and on medication.

Yawns...

REALretep:
You do have superior arguments I must confess

Pray tell...are you a legal counsel?

Counseling Psychologist but doing my specialty in Clinical child psychology and do assist minors who have been defiled in therapy and to come up with their victim impact assessment which is presented in court during trial and it ensures perpetrators gets maximum sentence for the sexual abuse irrespective of the relationship between the abuser and the victim.

Chrsbenn:
Didn't you see where I said I glad accommodated him for a month but couldn't cope again? I hate bad mouthing people that's why I can't say anything about him here so I said he's been chased away from 5 different places just so you can have an idea of who we are talking about here

You are entitled to your privacy whether he did something wrong or not as his lengthened stay was not the initial agreement you had with his father. Get in touch with his father and convey your position, you owe no one explanation as your personal space is your mental health right.

REALretep:
Don't get me wrong. Whoever commits a crime should face the consequences.
My point is that OP should be aware of other possible consequences on his brother's family should the matter be escalated to government agencies. If his brother's wife is economically viable, then there's nothing to worry much about in that regard.
For emphasis, I repeat... whoever commits a crime should face the consequences

Whether the wife is economically viable or not is irrelevant in the face of the sacrilege and crime. Child molesters would always go free if their being breadwinners of their families is put into consideration. This man is a criminal before the law if established he defiled his daughter likewise paraphilic which makes him a psychiatric case.

Why didn't the man first think of the consequences such act would wreck on his daughter and wife. That girl has been wrecked for life as the father killed her because the PTSD is going no where even in decades to come.

Image123:
Glory to God, we're not in a law court or before sane minds only, we are in a forum. i have not disagreed with you on the parent, you seem to want me to do. i do not know the girl, neither have i heard from her to pronounce her guilty or not. Your mindset already pronounced judgement, which is not very wise. ciao.

At least I used "once established". Just know that when it comes to child protection, where a minor has been defiled, the perpetrator (adult) owns 100% blame for the sexual abuse. No lawyer worth his salt can use seduction by the minor as his line of defence! Kwaheri

Image123:
You must have read me before quoting, you are free to re-read. i di not excuse the parent. You asked for the possibilities of the daughter being guilty.

Your perspective holds no water before sane minds nor before the legal system once established she was defiled by her father.

The girl is not GUILTY in any way, she is the one defiled by HER FATHER...she DID NOT RAPE her father.

Mustiboy:
Would you release your own sister to authorities over an issue that can be resolved within the family?

I'm not justifying what the man did in anyway. He should be be punished emotionally but not within the legal system. Doing the latter will land him in jail, and I'm sure OP doesn't want that for his brother.

He ought to be in jail because he is sick in the head and a criminal before the law, such men don't stop till exposed to the legal system.

In the case I attached, the perpetrator impregnated his 16 year old daughter and she gave birth but was treated as family matter and he still went ahead to impregnate his 14 year old daughter.

Image123:
You asked for the possibilities of the daughter being guilty. Of course 17year olds are angels that can do no wrong or be accountable. How can they be, what do they know? What on earth was i thinking.

The girl is the minor here, whose father abused his position in her life by defiling her whether she has been sexually active or not before the defilement is irrelevant before the society and law.

No parent is excused by the law for being incestuous and paedophillic because they are profiled as a child molester.

Image123:
Recall i put that important "IF". From the OP for instance, there is no suggestion of force or rape. Maybe from the law of minors, yes, but from the OP, there is no such physical suggestion. i know what i was when i was 17, so don't tell us the 17 year old in Abuja is naive and knows nothing. Some of them sleep with big men politicians, some have slept with all the big boys in school and in the neighbourhood. Some are into cults, pornography, wild parties, lesbianism and so on. Some have slept with and fantasize sleeping with men older than their fathers unfortunately, many even sing about it.
Unfortunately, she may be seducing the father either knowingly or unknowingly. Yes, in such a case, the father or the mother ought to correct it firmly. This is not 1950 unfortunately, this is 2021. Some 12year old have same body physique as 21 year old. It means they have some level of responsibility no matter how low.

From your write up, you identify yourself as a rape apologist, rationalizing the incesteous defilement with the excuse that she may have seduced her father !

Even if the girl in question has slept with every man in Abuja, the mentally deranged father action can't be excused!

Maybe you can also rationalize the actions of the perpetrator attached that his daughters seduced him.

Image123:
This is tough as it's your brother involved here. You're probably thinking of his possible innocence too. You need to help your brother and his family and you need God to help you with this because many more things could go wrong. Your sister-in-law has made grave accusations and wants you to take action. You need to find a way to speak friendly with the daughter without the mother's influence. Then you also need to speak with your brother. Hearing from all sides will better determine what next to do. If it is true, they all have their faults, but if it is possible try not to further destroy the family with rash decisions and partiality.

What is the girl's fault?

REALretep:
Abomination

There's definitely an underlying marital problem between the man and his wife.

The girl needs to be saved first by eliminating access to her by her dad...then you try to delve into the the immediate and remote causes.

If your brother is the breadwinner of his household, reporting to government agencies may create more problems especially if he is jailed... except if you are willing to cater for his family

Be guided OP... this is a very sensitive matter

So a man who is incestuous and pedophilic should be sheilded from the law because he is the bread winner of his family

Incest is not a family matter but a legal matter, it is criminal and a reflection of psychiatric disorder. Such men are a risk to have around, they don't stop till they get caught up by the law because they get their high from the act.

Maybe if you were the below culprit's lawyer, you would have pleaded he should be freed because he is the breadwinner.

Creating beautiful memories.

MufasaLion:
It's really a sad thing. I don't understand how people are like that. Your sibling? WTF?

Some sexual deviants limit it within the persons they are related to. There was a case last year in Kenya where a 22 year old man was charged in court for impregnating his three underage sisters.

MufasaLion:
Excatly!

Sadly, if you get to work in a child and adolescent protection unit, such is what you get to face almost on a daily basis....older siblings sexually abusing younger ones, parents sexually abusing their children, cousins, aunts and uncles being the perpetrators and families insisting they do not want it to be treated as a crime that it is.....they re-victimize the victim for exposing the family!

How your family is allowing you the abuser, to still be under the same roof with your victim (sister) is baffling or are they ignorant of the fact that her continued seeing you puts her in a heightened state of anxiety, triggers flashbacks and re-experiencing of the abuse.

You are associated with the trauma she is going through and represents danger. Your family have given you a soft landing and she senses you are capable of repeating it thus her persistent avoidance.

You have no right to seek any form of relationship with her, do her good by leaving that house and her life entirely.

Hmm..

Power thirsty!

Buhari has bolden presidential aspirants that Aso Rock has become a geriatric centre, failing health is not a barrier to becoming the President of Nigeria as foreign medical trips is assured.

Being in a hammock while listening to classical music.......Canon in D Major makes me float.

"Getting a good job has been hard and the other jobs I did get even tho slightly lucrative where not good for my mental health. Dealing with a toxic boss and senior workers was hectic.I feel they were threatened by my cuteness and some almost got physical amidst small alterations. I quit the other job because I was literally spending hours in the traffic going and returning. I'm kinda on the introvert side of life so I get overwhelmed spending roughly 6 hours in traffic per day"........Sighs.

Why not leave Lagos and go back home to Anambra State so you can clear your head from there since you have decided that resilience is not your forte!

You want to go for Masters, who are you expecting to pay for it when you are findings it difficult to hold down jobs because of flimsy excuses. My first job was in a psychiatric hospital where the trauma was unlimited, the first month was hell on earth for me, I became mentally disoriented and always felt like throwing up as I was always experiencing heightened state of anxiety.....having to work in an establishment where psychopaths and serial killers who have been locked up for life in the psychiatric hospital are observing you as you work in their unit but I had bills to pay in a foreign country and had to relegate any excuse.....you are talking about being envied for being cute!

Your elder brother you are staying with, didn't he also leave Anambra to come hustle his way out in Lagos? Just be clear that his nuclear family (wife and children) are his primary responsibility not you.

Collabo!

MufasaLion:
African parents always use that beating and being feared to nurse their ego. I don't even fear anybody in this world, not even my parents but I respect them.

Beating kids these days is like filling up a basket.

It is a waste of time and energy!

MufasaLion:
It doesn't work anywhere!

Well we tend to believe our beatings is so unique, that it makes you stand out in the world!

Hathor5:
I am afraid they will continue to quote the Bible to justify violence against children.

What has Nigeria benefitted from the beatings majority of Nigerians received during their childhood...... the beatings like drums, like criminals.....attempted murder?

Has the beatings made majority of Nigerians trustworthy in personal life and business? Has it infused ethical thinking in us?

With the level of dysfunctionalities in many families, crime rate and insecurity.... beatings has not worked for Nigeria!

MufasaLion:
Really? That's nice!
I'm just good at conversations but not a shrink.

Being a conversationalist is a skill.

MufasaLion:
You a shrink?

Doing my specialty in clinical child psychology.

MufasaLion:
Exactly! Nigerians are among the reason most Nigeiran Psychologist and Therapist don't have clients. Some Nigerians would rather beat the hell out if the kids and some go to the extreme of taking their wards/children to a policeman, vigilate, relatives to beat the crap out of them.

As a child I understood myself that I hate being beating or shouted at. I could remember I saw beating as wickedness and sign of hatred. I was never a bad child, but I hated beating. Till now, I detest beating of children, maids etc.

I believe more in having conversations than beating.

I will have clients when I eventually decide to set up practice in Nigeria!

Beatings do not reform as intended but rather represses to generate blind submission and in most times, only for it to resurface when no longer under the control of the authoritarian figure .

MufasaLion:
Some Nigerians are just dumb! Beating doesn't change anything just like putting hardened criminals in the box doesn't change anything. It toughens 'em more, but that doesn't mean criminals shouldn't be jailed.

However, this little child's tantrums/anger can be controlled without beating.

Many Nigerians believe beating the child is the magical solution when there are tons of resources online to better manage such behaviour.

Buhari is more interested in grazing routes.

Well that is terrible twos in child development, your son is transitioning!.

Good he will be out of circulation till death.