₦airaland Forum

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I like how people make it look like guys dont have self control or that cheating is a disease. If you saw a sexy girl who had aids, would u sleep with her? Abegi jo.

I no do jor,  you go out and collect nonsense from another woman and come and give me at home. The cheat should have thought of his/her family before going out to do nonsense. Always think about consequences before you go through with an action. Self control and discipline is not for saints, God gave this ability to all of mankind

why would u stop her? its a good thing

There was a time in  naija where the only bomb blast we could readily point to was the assassination of Dele Giwa. Now that innocence has been lost. WE are on a slippery slope. If nothing is done to stop this crisis in jos, it may soon become a full blown out war. God help us and give us wisdom to solve this problem.

I think that working in a family depends on what the man and woman decide. The man should not take away the womans right to work except the woman decides she doesnt want to work.

That being said, i think that a woman should do some kind of work and contribute to her family. It doesnt matter if it is 10 naira to buy pure water everyday, bring something in. A man has responsibilities to provide for the family, but IMO, so does the woman. Besides working gives you a little independence to buy little things for the house, esp if your husband is away. God forbid, but what if the man dies, then how will you take care of the home?

Asides from that, if the man makes that much and spends it on girls out there and doesnt bring it home, how is that helpful to the woman? As a woman you should have your own money no matter how small, so that you arent always asking the man for money. Haba be independent small now. I am not saying a woman must chase a carrier that takes her away from home and makes her unable to raise her kids. But you can own a small business, you can own an online company, do something that adds value to your home.

Me i cannot marry a man who says i cannot work, neither will i marry a man who wont encourage me to do something worthwhile no matter how small.

In my opinion based on lived experience, biased reporting happens on both sides. Please lets not act as if both sides arent guilty here. If you guys are squirmish because your looking at pictures, what about people that see that with their very eyes and live this reality. Instead of laying blame, lets collectively look for how we can come together and solve the issue.

The continuous violence is Jos is so sad, I grew up in Jos and have lived here most of my life. I understand that when one is pushed to the wall, then people have to turn around and defend themselves. Once upon a time, the christain community could boldly stand up and say, we are the victims. Now we cant do that anymore because we are the ones attacking as well. If the stories about cannibalism is true, then we have completely lost it. I just saw a video on youtube where the site of fighting occurred. There were burnt bodies and lots of burnt cars. What hurt the most was when people started carrying burnt body parts and where putting cigarretes and beer cans for jokes sakes. REALLY? the body of someones father, mother, brother, son, nephew, niece, cousin, whatever they were, haba haba. At the end of the video, someone said, we thank God. Which God are you thanking?

I am really sad that Christians chose to act this way. Do they have a right to defend themselves? YES and YES. Do they need to go out and hunt muslims and kill innocent people? NOOOOO. We have become the beast we once castigated. It is really sad. We need to understand that a human being is first human before anything else. At this point i dont care what religion a person belongs to, taking of innocent life is wrong, PERIOD!

God will judge all according to their deeds

Banking along religious lines may not be a bad thing, but it causes further division in the country. I don't like this development

@ rap junkie

fair enuff, they are cheating with women. But we are talking about married men now not just cheating in a relationship. IMO i think married women are less guilty of cheating than married men. Although naija don become something else o, married women too don de follow men do nonsense.

Either ways,i think that its a shame for any married person, male or female to not honor their marriage vows. Its quite sad

We are not denying that both men and women cheat, but you guys should be honest enough to admit that it is more of a male problem than a female problem. I think the OP has asked a very good question.

I think that it boils down to a persons character (male or female). If you dont value integrity as a person, then you will not feel the need to act as someone who intends to stay legit in all their dealings with others. And by legit, i mean faithful to one's partner in this context.

I really think its a shame for either gender to indulge in cheating, especially in your old age (being an adult). Its such an irresponsible behavior. The wahala sef of trying to hide the thing so that no one knows, to me it just doesnt make sense. But that one na me sha, everybody get wetin de do them

BB is a fruit, i still dont get why it is so popular in naija

Its funny that this post aims to identify the person with the most attractive personality and yet some people de exhibit for here. Nairaland never ceases to amaze me.

Is this confirmed? onto wetin now? kai the masses don suffer for naija o. Wonder how many jobs will be lost? Hope they put in measures to ensure that people keep their jobs

@ claremont

lol, yeah i run from time to time, i am not too crazy about it cos it makes my knees hurt. But i like high intensity aerobic classes as well as spinning, anything that gets my heart rate up.

@ coogar

lolol, i shldnt listen to claremont, so na u i suppose listen to abi?

Claremont and coogar, una no go kill me with laughter,

lololol Coogar go and sleep, abi time never reach?

@ claremont


wetin de shock u?

@ coogar

na i dont play match maker, may person no come catch me later when casala burst.
In this life you can only vouch for urself. Me i know wetin i fit do, i cant say the same for anyone else.

Anywho guys this has been fun, but i need to go for a jog. Enjoy your evening and pls behave. Stop running down naija babes. We are beautiful african queens, lol

lol @ claremont and Coogar o

Make una free me jo. lemme rephrase that sha and not use the term real man. A man is a man i guess, its his character that makes him unique. A man with character will exercise self discipline and know that not every attraction should be explored, he will respect his wife and be faithful to her. He will take care of his home along with his wife. A principled person, who believes in integrity and responsibility. A man who wont sell himself short for momentary gain, but will rather be patient cos he sees a bigger picture. A man who is bound by his word, loyal to friends, goes beyond himself and is not selfish. Need i say more?

Do such men exists, Yes they do, i know a few including my dad. Are there many of them around? I'd say no

@ claremont

Now u are playing the role of hitch and advertising for people, what about u

@ coogar

in regards to your statement abt respect, fair enough. And dont think i am saying that independent women dont sometimes have attitude, you even find that among women who are dependent on their husband, so as u would say, that is neither here nor there.

There are women who are independent that are still submissive.

@ claremont,
Lololololol, if i say no would that count as me not being submissive and mess up my chances of finding a husband?

@ Coogar

i am not saying that younger girl are cheap, i was making reference to those who guys compensate for services rendered. Also what i mean by men running things simply means they are the head of the home and their wives respect them. Being he head of the home does not mean that the man has the right to treat the wife as a lesser being or a house maid. I dont know where i said it was a cardinal sin for a woman to take the back seat o, dont put words in my mouth. I said a woman should not be treated like a housemaid in her own home. This means that the man should acknowledge her as a partner and include her in the decision making process. Kai is that too much to ask?

agreed, maturity has nothing to do with age

I get the impression that u guys want a chick who acts like she has no brains. What does it take to submit to my husband?  To me its pretty basic stuff as long as that doesnt mean that i should be silly or mindless. With all the submitting that women have done, has that stopped men from being unfaithful? Respect is a choice and has nothing to do with accomplishment. I respect people regardless of their status in life, why should it be hard for me to respect my husband? As long as himself no de disrespect himself and shame me by sleeping around, what does it take?

@ coogar

Marriage to me is a partnership and not a house girl, boss relationship. What do u mean by a woman should take the back seat? You also complain about skeles demanding money even when they are not the main squeeze, No be u find trouble? If u werent tapping that would they feel entitled? Most of the issues are caused by the actions carried out.

By the way my mum married at the age of 26 and we all graduated college by the time she was 50 (and i am the 3rd), so the issue of 26 being old doesnt follow to me.

At the end of the day sha, u live with what u marry. If u go out and buy cheap goods, dont complain when it doesnt function as it should.

By the way, i think it takes a real man to handle a mature lady, and there are still those who marry mature ladies and run things in their homes. Last last, marry what u can handle.

@ claremont,

i cant tell anyhow how to handle a lady, but it is my guess that if guys complain about begging or whatever character flaw a lady has and manage to find someone who is at the top of her game that they will know how to handle the relationship. There is no one size fits all prescription.

The reason i say what i say is cos i have met guys who complain all day long about how ladies do such n such, then they meet a good girl and and somehow manage to screw things up mostly by being unfaithful. The sad thing is that the babe they usually end up with is not necessarily finer or even smarter/better than the good babe, she is usually just a cheap lay.

I guess its easier to throw money at a girl and screw away than actually be dedicated to someone who is not easily swayed or has a good sense of herself. (this is a general statement and not directed at u claremont). And i dont mean proud and stuck up babes o.

I guess it all boils down to the kinda woman a guy wants and if they can actually let their brains do the thinking and not the dude downstairs

hmmm as we come raise the issue of independent chick, fertility come join the matter. while i agree that its better to have our kids while ur young, i can also argue this is not the only reason why fertility has nose dived. The more enlightened people become, the less kids they want to have. Besides i think it is unfair to say that most independent ladies are old. I am 26 and have been independent since i was 23, so wat are we talking about.

If you want to date a lady who is mature, then you need to be able to handle her, period. But like i said alot of guys are so used to dating girls that when they meet a mature lady they cannot handle her.

@ Coogar, u get what you look for. If you feel like you have to dish out money to get laid, then dont get mad if the girl acts like a cheap lay

@ Claremont

patience is a virtue, seek and you shall find. I know alot of independent correct babes. the only thing they are also God fearing. I might be wrong but i get the vibe from your profile that your atheist (Also it Toba keeps referring to it, which i find hilarious). I doubt they would go for that. But there are also naija ladies out there who subscribe to your belief system that are also correct, so seek them out.

@ Toba

lolol, ur cracking me up. I think this is the 2nd time u have referred to claremont's beliefs. If you go like person, like am. In life we will always have differing opinions or belief systems, lol,

haha, this is the first time i have posted this much in  one day on nairaland, too many funny comments and way too much drama

The truth anyhow is that alot of guys are chasing girls, when they eventually meet a mature lady, they just cannot handle her because they are used to hanging out with girls. This has been my experience, and i have also seen this happen with a few friends and among my guy friends too.

A close male friend of mine was dating this babe for like 4 years and they were engaged to be married in a few months. At the same time he was dating another girl who knew the whole situation and stupidly was dating him. Of course the main chick found out and kasala burst. He was now whining about how painful it was to lose the main babe. I told him i didnt feel sorry for him cos he brought it on himself. This was a lady who stayed with him for 4 years despite the fact that the guy wasnt rich. He was hardworking but not rich and she had to give him money a few times and such.

I had a similar experience with my ex. I have come to realize that even though guys complain about girls being immature, cheap, materialistic and such, a lot of them find it hard to handle a more mature and less needy/independent woman when they meet one.

cuddle mii, well said. Alot of women have been burned by guys abusive and cheating ways (myself included)but u dont hear us insulting all men. Its part of life, you work with what life throws your way and try to learn from every experience

@ claremont

There are Nigerian ladies who are also independent. Granted they are not the majority, but they are not as non existent as you guys are painting it. When last where you home? I tell you the emerging trend now is that ladies are actually the ones who are becoming the bread winners.

Like i said earlier, i do not deny that alot of naija babes are cheap and beg alot, but it is unfair to make it sound like there arent any good women back home.

Besides in the west, there are gold diggers as well, why make it look like this happens only in naija?

If we are going to address the issue of girls being materialistic, i think its only fair that the issue of infidelity among men be addressed also, afterall thats the thing that alot of guys seem to be good at. I am positive quite a number (not all) of you here that are screaming bloody murder have been unfaithful to your chick.

Sounds to me like very few people have the right to cast stones here, actually no one has the right to cast stones cos we all have issues. babes beg, guys cheat, lol

i suggest that if the begging bothers you, then try to stick to babes that dont beg. As simple as ABC

@ KAYD007

Cant say i blame you. But i think that if anyone is looking for a serious relationship with a person, then you should study the person first and get to know her before you make a move. If you take the time, you will know the sort of person you are dealing with. The problem be say guys to de rush and anyhow a lot (mind you i said alot and not all men) of them are just interested in sex and nothing serious. At the end of the day, i guess it all depends on what your looking for and what you expect from your woman

@ Rose 75

haha, my dear, its not for me to debate whether its true or not, all na gist, lol, if he is lying, its his cup of tea not mine,

Lol at superstory

@ 190

lolol, pele o,if i follow ur count, e mean say me i go need follow 59 oda guys. Seriously how do people handle multiple heartbreaks? Me i've had just one and e be like say i go die, lol, you too try, me i no get energy o.

@ 190

60? damn bro, lol,

@ KAYD007

agreed, she does have the right to refuse. Like i have said repeated, it all boils down to individual values. Me i feel insulted when a guy comes at me that way cos i feel like he is putting a price on my head like i am some product. If you want to impress me, let you character and intelligence speak for it self.