₦airaland Forum

Sochan

What your saying makes sense, and i agree with, but i also want you to understand that in order to make the changes, you need the power. Do we want to move away from rice and garri politics? Yes, can we do it before we get the power? In a place like Naija where people are hungry, the answer is more likely NO. I used to say that politics dint need to be rice and garri, but remember not everybody is an elite. Like i said earlier, we can sit and reason and see the Ribadu's and Dukes and Utomi's as good for us, but the person in the village doesnt understand their big big english. This is sad but true. If u dont communicate to me on my level, why would i vote for u? (that the average naija mentality)

Lets move away from the rural areas and talk about the youths, even the youths need to be re-orientated, arent we the ones being used as political thugs, dont naija youths prefer handouts or easy money? Isnt that what clouds our judgement? The average naija youths mentality is "mesef go chop my own, whichever way" Thats just the reality on ground.

I honestly wish that this man or Ribadu could win, but arent they a better force to reckon with if they unite as running mates? I dont know sha, but i honestly think that utopia is not a view that should be held of naija for now. He cant speak to the elites and think that the villages will hear and understand him. The man should do his home work, alot needs to be done for him to win. We want good men to rule naija, he is one of the few with good intentions for that country

Good point. But babe, u ma know sef say no be everybody wey claim intelligence go fit show am. my point is just that from the get go, you know that the man go school, lol,  but like u said, its not a true measure of what someone can do

From what i know of PAt Utomi, he is a smart man, but when he speaks of Nigeria, he talks as if it is an ideal setting. But is it? No its not. Can it be? yes it can, but for now, work with what you see on ground

When i say known, i call it as it is. HE NEEDS TO BE KNOWN. Its not too late, but for that to happen, he needs to be aggressive about it.

Aspa your statement of handing out bags of rice, my position on that is "if need be". We do not live in an ideal society. As long as he is not rigging elections,bribing officials and such, i think its an okay price to pay. Am i encouraging corruption? No, but in order to gain the support of the people in the villages, he needs to earn their trusts, and that includes showing that he cares about their welfare. My dear this is not america where u can promise to improve standard of living and health care and they will believe u.

A good example is my village. Its small, and most people are not educated. Would u believe that when we went home and gave money to some of our old family members for xmas, we gave the old man 1000 naira note adn gave his grandchild 2 50 naira notes (N100), the old man wey no go sch thought that the kid had more money than him cos his money came in two notes. this was in early 2000. People in rural areas dont understand big language, what they understand is your ability to provide for them.

Its sad, but thats the truth. You and i can sit and reason with Uncle Pat and understand that he means well, not everyone can, and like someone rightly said, to be apeople person, you need to communicate at their level of understanding. If he needs to give rice to become a good president for Nigeria, if that gives him the chance he needs to get there, i think he should go ahead,  AS LONG as he is not rigging elections or stealing ballot boxes, or bribing INEC officials and such, i think that is a small price to pay. I am all for doing things by the book, but isnt that why good men never lead us? You cannot be a sucessful politician in Nigeria and not make atleast some small concessions or play the game abit. SAD but true. Me i have moved past those days when i said, no giving of rice, men if that will get the awareness he needs from the rural areas (since thats what they understand) make him give them rice and become our president.

I honestly think that Pat Utomi Running for president is a welcome development, however the man has failed to do ground work. Unfortunately Nigerians need to be aware of u and your achievements for you to get ahead in the game (this is not to say PAt U hasnt achieved anything, but how many people know him). Most of the Nigerian Citizenry are in the rural areas, poor and concerned with their daily bread (sad but true), they only know those who feed them. Pat Utomi is a very smart man intellectually, it takes alot more than intellect to win an election. I wish he had played his card right, this man will be good for Nigeria as far as his intention goes and maybe what he can do.

For those who are thinking grassroot doesnt matter, you are wrong in thinking that, even in the united states of America, they recognize grassroot politics, thats why Obama and Mccain visited small towns, factories and their workers and such, You need the goodwill and trust of the people to win.

I really wish this man stood a chance though, he would definitely be good for us, especially the youths at this time.

That being said, The problem with Nigeria is not just the leaders, its the people as well. How we let a few people hijack our country and hold us hostage beats me.  Sometimes i wonder if the masses realize that we are way more than these politicians combined. Lets begin to rise up (esp YOUTHS) adn speak out against the injustice being done to us, WE deserve better.

One more thing, GEJ is clueless, the sooner Nigerians realize this, the more possible it will be to avert another 4 year disaster. That man is ill equipped to rule the country and is a time bomb waiting to happen. I know alot of people do not share this sentiment, but it is true

Sorry, wasnt there a man somewhere is this whole drama? why is she the only one being crucified? I dont know her and i dont watch BBA. I think the video is sad. But someone married her inspite of it, the least we can do is wish them a happy marriage.

LOL at silent treatment. My dear life is too short to begin vex ontop another man matter, after all whether she wins or not, i no see how e take affect me personally.

What i like about nairaland is, in a few months time or maybe a year, we will somehow come back to this issue, and we will see how many people will still hold the same opinions.

Politics is a dirty game whether we like it or not, very few people have remained credible as politicians. Thats just the honest truth

At Banom, Possibly, maybe, lol, you are entitled to your own opinions

Lol, Kobojunkie. I am in agreement with you. Its sad that people will resort to insult to get their point across.

Nairaland is free for all to express their opinions. I think that being civil in disagreement and divergent views speaks to our individual character. State your opinions in a civil manner. In every setting, there will always be people for or against. Fact of life, arent we old enough to know that by now?

I think Dora is a joke. For those of you who still commend her, your quick to forget that she supported the illegal appointment of Ekiti States govenor on the PDP platform, this is the same Dora that was partying with the Minister of Education Egwu, who was at the time supposed to be negotiating on behalf of ASUU with the federal government so that Nigerian students who had been at home for months could go back to school. The same Dora who watched as the country was in suspense over the absence of Yar Adua, and only spoke out when she saw the bubble bursting.

In my opinion, Dora is a full blown politician and only looks out for her interests. She cries wolf, when she sees a way to turn things to her advantage. Hasnt she served enough in the government? Apart from the work she did at Nafdac, Which by the way was many years ago, what else has Dora done?

I have nothing against her, but lets call a spade a spade. Dora cannot be likened to Lamido/ Ribadu/ Fashola, they just are not in the same boat. Dora looks out for her interests, period.She has served as the mouth piece for the same politicians that have held our country to ransom.

All that being said, she is free like anyone else to contest, however, my question to her is, madam what do you have to offer? what will you do now that you havent done in the last four years? See how much was sunk into the rebrand nigeria project, what has she achieved so far? I think we all know the answer to that. Just my two cents

Maybe this is an attempt to rebrand herself . Madam Dora, you dont strike me as  a credible person and you do not have my vote.

One more thing, i know as Nigerians our options are limited as to who we can choose as credible leaders, we always have to choose the less of two evils, granted Dora may be slightly better than other politicians out there, but that doesnt mean we shouldnt be honest about her faults. Saying that one is better than the other doesnt serve any purpose if they are both bad. For some, their opinions of Dora is not a baseless attack, its just based on events involving her.

Nobody is perfect sha, but when you decide to go into public office, always remember that the whole point is to serve!

lol Day11 seriously? after all you have said, lol, nothing do u sha

i agree Zebi, marriage isnt do or die. That tends to be the case in naija

While i agree that people shouldnt get married until they are ready, shouldnt we act responsibly while we are in the waiting process. Me i dont understand all this free for all party day11 is advocating o,

Zebi 76? Marriage is overrated?? Seriously Heres the thing, if you dont want to get married, then dont, but the whole point of marriage is to have a companion and ultimately have a family. In the US you find people having kids, living together and such, is that not indirectly having a marriage? if you are mature enough to have intimacy, have kids and live together, then the responsible thing to do is get married. Thats just my thought sha.

I know people marry and get divorced, that's usually the come back the marriage debate, my response to that is, if people are truly honest and open before they get married, treat each other with respect, decency and love, put God as the center of their home, remain faithful and committed to one partner. trials will come, but they will stand the test of time. But in most cases people dont live up to all these things, some times its not their fault, other times, issues could have been handled better.

If we continue to see marriage as bondage, then thats what it will be for you

Anyways thats just my thought, you dont have to agree

:oIf your serious about being 40 and your still not married and your sleeping around, my question to u is DUDE WHEN DO YOU INTEND TO GROW UP? your behaving like some excited high school kid. Do the responsible and mature thing and get married or stop being easy, Guy wetin u wan tell your pickin, anyway sha it takes 2 to tango, so the babes ma no de try,

GROW UP, your not a kid anymore

At Ms Tom, While i see the point your trying to make, it is my humble opinion that men who mess around before the marry, rarely change after. Note that i used the word rarely and not never. Self control and discipline is not something you just have, it takes practice, lots of it, just my two cents

For those of u that are criticizing the church, u have every right to, but ur ultimately missing the point. A pregnancy test is not done to determine virginity cos really its not the church's place to enforce the virginity rule. Its done on the assumption that as Christians, you have been keeping God's laws which says no to fornication.

Your friend and his wife to be implied that they were true christians by going to church and trying to get married there. If the lady was pregnant, then the church cannot wed them while she is pregnant. however i am sure that if they came back 10 months later, the church will wed them.

You cant blame the church, blame ur friends. I am sure the church asked them during counselling if they were having sex and they said no. only to do a pregnancy test and the results say otherwise. I know for sure that my church will not wed you if your pregnant. Know the rules of the place you attend and adhere to it.

People don turn church to joint wey dem go de go every sunday just for the sake of it. If you dont believe in God and dont want to follow him, dont waste ur time on sundays. God is clear about his feelings towards fornication.

For those of u wey de shout say babe must preggers b4 u marry, i say foul. so that tomorrow u go begin disrespect me say i use pregnancy to trap u. some men can be so selfish. but if you and ur babe have an understanding on that, RIDE ON. but will it kill you to just wait and marry her 1st. nobody is saying dont do. just dont leave evidence. In the future, your wife will be looked at with disdain by people cos she got pregnant b4 marriage.

abeg jo, make i hear word. They knew b4 hand and should not be angry, court wedding and traditional wedding are also recognized by law.

You really need to dump his ass, ur bf is a jerk. I hate it when a guy acts stupid, sleeps around, has the nerve to leave evidence behind (get someone pregnant) and come back and talk about marriage

If he was serious from the beginning, he wont be screwing around. Cheating is not acceptable in any form, whether its from the man or woman's side.

He is just a bf, get over it and move. Free dis guy like a bad habit. Staying with a cheat is like cancer, it eats u up slowly and kills u.

Drop the guy jo. a word is enough for the wise

Mr Cork
what is your obsession with speaking correct English. I have seen your comment on other posts and all you seem to say is "no offence, but can they speak English?" well no offence mr cork, but your English doesn't sound too good either and your spelling sucks.

By the way, there's a huge difference in meaning of the words offence and offense. Take home assignment for you, lemme know when you find the answer.

Seen all the comments, heres mine

For those of us who personally know MI n Jags, i'll say both albums were a disappointment.

Hold on b4 u crucify me, i am not saying MI's album wasnt good but Damn i expected so much more

Jesse JAgs album i admit is not great but its good and has some good moments

I wish y'all could have met them when they were trying to come into the game, these guys had mad skills men. I am talking crazy flows. Nobody wanted to battle them cos they'd scatter your rap ambitions. They were crazy freestylers. What they did on jimmy jumpoff is bullshit

I think the problem is deep down inside they are musicians trying to go mainstream by being commercial. MI made the switch easily, but Jags is having problems cos he is really musically inclined and lyrically sound.

MI has every reason to be scared of jags cos Jags is indeed the greatest. its just sad that he hasnt been able to show naija what he is really made of, but men when Jags is given free reign over his music, he scatters like crazy.

MI n Jags r really good artistes, i just hope they dont get too commercial and lose what some of us like about them most.

Jags is really good, he just needs to discover who he truly is as an artiste

B4 u guys tink i am some crazy fan who is in love with them, nah, far from it. they are my homeboiz, we grew up together. to the world its MI n Jags, to some of us they are just plain old jude n jesse.

any of the remedy guys (Idris, eddy n Tony)
Azadus
KSB
Wierd MC
Omotola
Genevieve
Essence
Terry G
Terry the rap man
Obiwon
Muma G

men i dont even listen to alot of them so i dont remember off the top of my head

@ transformer
thanks

This post has left the original topic. will contribute to the diversion.

Every time i see an argument about who is better, Black, white Red, blue, the first thing that comes to my mind is, i dont really think that matters. I think it matters most who we are on the inside.

I have read alot of arguments on NL about nigeria, nigerian leaders and how they run the country, and i honestly believe that most of us that argue here wont do better or any different if we are in their shoes.

Yes the white man has screwed us over, but they have also contributed positively no matter how small it is. I think we should look inwards and begin to find solutions for ourselves and stop being too concerned about what they think about us. their perception about us will remain if we dont try to change the way we act.

Its sad that all we are known is fraud, when we have indeed been part of great inventions and discoveries. I say we move forward, and look inwards and get to know who we really are and how we can bring about positive change because we are responsible for what nigeria will be tomorrow. And guess what, for most of us, our kids will grow up in nigeria so lets look for how we can make it a better place. Improve our image both at home and internationally. we are the ones that can make that change.

Please guys, marry someone you can always trust and tolerate; marriages are working and had been working. Don’t go into it with the mindset that one day it will crash………………….plsssss

God bless you for making this statement

Well in the long distance thing i thing you should be ready to permit someone to sleep with your spouse because you both have needs , as long as you have each others heart, what happens to the body in your absence does not really matter.

Meka Boy, i am not sure abt this ur comment o. I will not not permit my man to slp with anyone, neither will i slp with anyone else. I am not saying u do not have needs, but self control is not impossible. If a person can cheat in a relationship, then he or she will definitely cheat in a marriage.

we act as if we are animals that cannot control sexual urges. Please dont settle. Let ur man be faithful to u o. A man can have weaknesses, but cheating is not a weakness that should be excused

@ Poster

Hi, i am currently in a long distance relationship so i understand how u feel. Mine is over a year long and i have to admit it is really hard cos i miss him so much. But I think Long distance relationship works if both partners are committed.
I dated my bf for less than a year and i had to leave naija suddenly, like in a space of two weeks. We decided that we were going to stay together and we have despite how hard it is. Making it work is a decision you both have to make.

In a relationship, someone always sacrifices more than the other. In dis case i do 90% of the calling, and somtyms i wish he would call, but he is always there for me. When i need to whine and complain, he is there to listen. WE talk abt everythn, from rly important stuff to very minute and insignificant gists. This keeps us connected even tho we are apart.

Somtyms you have to be the bigger person. Choose your battles wisely. Its not everything you argue or fight over. WE ladies dont know how to compliment our men. We think we are the only ones who like compliments. Make a man feel good abt himself and he will treat u right. Tell him he is the best, even when he is messing up (i am not talking abt yeye bois here o, i am talking abt a reasonable man who has bad days, just like we all do), tell him he is the only one for you,,etc. these are just some of the ways that you can add spice to ur relationship and make the distance more bearable.

Sounds like you also have some issues that you need to take care of. Why do u believe that its impossible for a man not to have sex. It is very possible. you need to stop letting ur insecurities get in the way. Give him the benefit of a doubt until you can prove that he is being unfaithful. There is nothing more unattractive than an insecure person. It doesnt matter how handsome or pretty u are, confidence is what adds that wow factor to a person. Learn to trust ur man, esp if he is a responsible person

I have done this with my bf and it works. I appreciate him for random little things he does and that makes him feel like a king, and cos of that, he cant imagine not being without me. In order to gain somethn, you have to lose somethn. Do you think your man is worth it? if u do, them work on it and pray. Na God de bless man

Good luck

he is half human, half amazing , totally awesome.

al queda i rather like ebony eyes, she has made some good points on nairaland. I think its funny how men like to act as if they are our victims. We all know that there are good women and men and vice versa. It doesnt matter what part of the world they are from, there will always be good and bad people. Guys cheat on girls, girls cheat on guys, good husbands, good wives, bad husband bad wives, its just the way it is.

the most important thing is that God bless our marriages and provide us with good partners that will honor and respect us, regardless of what part of the world we chose to reside.

Its funny how everything adds up to poverty in a developing country, while in a more developed country its completely legal. It is called surrogacy. the lady is a surrogate mother to the child. It is a widely accepted practice in the states. If you do not want to carry the child, you can be an egg donor and get paid very well for donating eggs to willing recipients.

This is not to say that i support this practice, but its happening everywhere not just naija.

lol at Ms Zee, i feel ya all the way. men i am rocking my do like no man business. and anyone who doesnt like it, well thats ur problem, deal with it

Hey, Rocking a low do depends on the shape of ur face the amount of hair u have and ur hairline. Basically, if u have scanty hair, u may not like wat ur hair looks like wen ur done. And also if u have a receding or not so great hairline, u may want to skip the low cut.

I am currently rocking a low do and it is fabulous, very low maintenance. I have wat solange did to her hair and men it is so stress free. So if u have the confidence and attitude to rock it, i'd say go for it

everyone has made good points.  

at redsky  i neva said that our mates own houses in naija, i just meant that  whateva they have at this point in time, they own, like cars funiture etc

at Igbogirl, i understand that yankee is built on a creedit system  and i wasnt saying it is bad to have a credit card. i was trying to show the differences btw the US and naija system. You have to adapt to the system u find your self. i have student loans so i am not any different from anyone here. i hope what i said is clearer now

at brauneyes, i dont tink u and igbo girl are in anyway incompassionate. if you read my post again, u will notice i said i understand how annoying it is to have pple asking u for money and i agree with teaching how to fish than giving fish. I was highlighting the differences and what each system ( naija and US)entails. and abt the credit system, o well i guess its inevitable and has always existed, all i am saying is, its not a neccesity. u can choose not to have it and still live decently in naija and maybe here in the US, although i am yet to hear of that happening since it is a credit based society. Please i am not saying it is wrong to have credit cards or take loans o

At Sauron i know not everyone is entitled, i never said everyone is entitled, just highlighting the differences. As for the issue of working and being robbed, where doesnt it happen

bottom line is both systems have advantages and disadvantages, one more than the other and i was just making a comparison. there is no absolute as to which is better. like i said it boils down to individual choices.

@ Brauneyes and Igbogirl

i must say that your posts are really interesting. Even though i agree that pple asking you for money can be annoying, i disagree with the notion that i will rather be a cab driver of janitor here than be in naija. All i will say iss that life here and in naija is totally different. The education system is messed up, i agree with u on that again

But like i said earlier, its about choosing your battles and location. Its easy for u to think your better than those back home because u were fortunate to either be born here or had the means or opportunity to come here. Instead of being proud abt that, be humble and thankful for the opportunity because na God de bless man. that could have easily been u in naija and someone else here saying what your saying. ITs God that has given u this opportunity, those of us here in yankee didnt please God in anyway thats different than others that he made it possible for us to be here.

Another thing i'll say is this, even though life is yankee is more comfortable than it is in naija, it is still a life of DEBT. can u honestly tell me that u dont owe on your car, house, credit card, student loan or somethn else? meanwhile those of our mates back home that have good jobs and are living comfortably own what they have. their cars, furniture, tuition was paid for, so they dont owe on that. I look forward to going back home cos i wont live my life here paying one form of debt or the other. Its all abt the individual choices we make.

No one is better than the other, we live in different circumstances, but each comes with its advantages and disadvantages. this is nothing personal against the two of u and feel free to agree or disagree. this is just my opinion