₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Atheist:-D]Mynd is 100% right. It is not the duty of the man to keep you "busy and entertained". Also, from your point of view, you can only find comfort and friendship in the arms of another man . What happened to friends, colleagues, family? When you have kids, will you even have as much time for your philandering ways? Have you ever even been close to a man? Maybe your previous men have been a bit distant and hence you have been able to have multiple men to offset that but you need to find a balance, that one man and numerous fun activities side by side with support for your man at home and elsewhere.

What do you reckon? I am on point or not?



My thoughts exactly. She sounds like a teenager dating married men. She has no idea what to do with her life to keep her busy and satisfied? It seems she is a looooong way off from marriage.[/quote]no i m not a teen and no i do not date married men. I am in my early 20s and dating a guy 4 years older than me. He is an entrepreneur and never around. he gives me time 4 times in a week and will tell me how busy or tired he is the other 3 days. i love him, he has a good future but he is just always too busy for me. always in an out, meetings etc. when he has time he will tell me how he tired, busy bla bla so i do not want to dump him but i cant take all his unavailability and NOOO i do not cohabit with him. we stay in the same complex opposite to each other so i know for sure there is no other woman there. he just does not have time. always claiming that he needs to work work work. when i force to spend time especialy on weekends his body will be with me but his hands, eyes and brains will be on his laptop. that is hurting and boring so i lv him alone and go to the hairdresser bf who always has time for me saterday and sunday afternoons. we do fun stuff together. he knows i loves movies, shopping and going out generaly but he has not realised my reasons for always choosing places which are far from my neighbourhood yet . i just do nt want to bump into anyone who knows me and my man in our area. i have tried to be understanding and be there for my number 1 bf but what is the use of being around someone who is just there physicaly but does not hear a word you say coz he is somehow preoccupied?.

[quote author=Mynd_44]This is what happens when women don't have a life of their own (no offence). Before you marry, build yourself, get a job or start something that will kepp you busy and you can go to when alone so you don't drive yourself insane[/quote]work 8 to 5. Get home around 6. Cook, eat and bath and 8pm am all relaxed and needing comfort what must i do? sleep? so my life is a life of a woman who sleeps or watches soapies all her life? weekends i have all the time in my hands i cant always go to the mall, movies etc alone. My girls will be with their loved ones so i can't always gatecrash. i do not want a child yet coz i still wana do more with my life so you mean to tell me with all this time i have in my hands i should do what?don's ladies also have a say ? it seems the only thing the world cares about is ''HIM''. When it suits him he does what he wants and what about the lady. If he will not be around all the time i am free ( which is also the time many people are supposed to be relaxed with their loved ones) then what's a girl to do? please suggest something because clearly you have better ideas and woman who know that they deserve attention seem to be taken wrong by society

[quote author=Mynd_44]If you don't practice it now, you can't get it right[/quote]how then would you suggest sisters cope with your selfishness as men. You all claim you want your space, you do not want us to nag , you want us to respect you etc and its as if our feelings do not matter to you anymore. how must we then cope with all the neglect we are getting from yols

[quote author=Atheist:-D]Yes but what if his circumstances change. Not all people maintain wealth throughout their life. I can name a few.

So if he got arrested for some unfortunate situation, had his assetts frozen pending investigation for 2 years and then eventually when it all cleared up his businesses had crashed and his personal fortune slowly eroded. What would you do? He would be working hard to save the little he has and would have to bring austerity meansures in the household to save things. How would you cope?



I want to get to the root of her problem . I dont know why, just a bit bored. And somewhat down. Things are slow today.[/quote]i will cross that river when i get to it. i will have to use my brain then to see how i can deal with that situation

[quote author=Atheist:-D]^^^

Good luck with your future marriage. So what if things get tight for your husband financially and he has to spend more time at work to make ends meet having less time for you and hence ignoring you, how will you cope?[/quote]spend the cash he works so hard for? look i am not gona marry a guy who struggles to make ends meet. so i will speeeeeeeeeeenddddddddddd his cashhhhhhhhhhh. i know the kind of people i associate with and i know how i behave around them so there is no way i will marry a poor man. its better to cry in a Lexus than in a citi.com

[quote author=Mynd_44]So a woman who cheats during courtship will suddenly change once the ring is on her finger and she will console herself with the man's money and then she will remain loyal and they will live happily every after...

What a load of BS[/quote]many woman have done it. why not. Woman cheat during courtship coz they do not know what tomorrow hold. You might wake up one day and meet another girl and marry her, where will that lv me? so we cheat during courtship so that we also find our own Mr Right just incase you or the Mr Right decides he is too clever and plays me but in marriage i already know that you are mine and mine alone so your money is the next best thing to your time. check out how many married woman have bad money spending habits and most of them will tell you that its becoz the hubby nver has time for her so she avoids cheating by using cash

i am a woman and i tell you that i can never give my man my ATM pin, if i do it would have to be on my second bank account which never really has cash but the one with money would need to be a secrete but if he were to offer me his own, i would not say no, i would take it and USEEEEEEEE it but if i was a man, i would never give anyone my own bank account because i know what ladies are capable off

please note that my post above does not mean that i am a gold digger. i have my own cash and i never ask men for money. The fact that i am independent financialy does mean that i am stupid or i wana show the guy how much i can supply for my self. Its just a strategy for him to notice that i am not after his cash coz he already know that i have mine. This way he will trust me with his own cash and he will even see me as different from the rest who seem to be clearly after cash. What he does not know is that i do not want to have excess to his money for just a few months while we are dating, i am waiting for the day we get married then i will truely spend his money without any remorse. When that day comes, gues whose money i will be flying around with, visiting the spa with, buying clothes and jewelery with. This does not mean i will not take care of the household financial needs, it just means that when my husband decides to neglect me as men always do, his money will be spent carelessly by me as a form of comfort because i will not want to cheat so better spend his hard earned cash and spare mine

please note that my post above does not mean that i am a gold digger. i have my own cash and i never ask men for money. The fact that i am independent financialy does mean that i am stupid or i wana show the guy how much i can supply for my self. Its just a strategy for him to notice that i am not after his cash coz he already know that i have mine. This way he will trust me with his own cash and he will even see me as different from the rest who seem to be clearly after cash. What he does not know is that i do not want to have excess to his money for just a few months while we are dating, i am waiting for the day we get married then i will truely spend his money without any remorse. When that day comes, gues whose money i will be flying around with, visiting the spa with, buying clothes and jewelery with. This does not mean i will not take care of the household financial needs, it just means that when my husband decides to neglect me as men always do, his money will be spent carelessly by me as a form of comfort because i will not want to cheat so better spend his hard earned cash and spare mine

[quote author=Atheist:-D]So what will you do when you marry [/quote]when i marry i will know that i now belong to someone legally and i value the saying that '' what God put together, let no man separate'' . Marriage should be valued and we all know that it has its own ups and downs so i made up my mind a long time ago that marriage is the only thing that will make me to be loyal and take anyone's crap coz i simply do not like divorce. So what i mean is the only time i will stop cheating on a man who does not pay attention to me. Guys please be real, men will never ever get to a point where the devote all their time to their wives so because i will be having his ring on my fingure, families and God involved and all then i will take all the crap without fighting back or cheating coz i will have his money to console me. when he makes me upset i will be having unending excess to his cash so i will simpply go shopping

[quote author=Atheist:-D]Do you think she means it or is she just messing about [/quote]i mean it. its either i do this or always be stressed when he makes me upset. i choose to forgive but i still choose my happines. Life is too short to play victim to circumstances

i do not like skinny girls at all. they look somehow. if i was a man i would get a woman who has a shape. check out the feet of skinny gilrs a total no no no

many woman try use kids as weapons to hold on to men and most woman still allow that to intimidate them from loving the guys. If he loves you marry him, that south african must just understand that she is just the baby making machine thats all and she must know that its your teritory and not hers. just because she makes kids for a living as most souht africans do ,it does not make her the queen of some sort. Baby or no baby take what belongs to you and do not let the souht african loosness intimidate you

lier

they dooped him as revenge for the money he stole

read the facial expression. sometimes she does not want to hurt you by saying no so she just says nothing, sometimes she is too excited but does not want you to get a big had so she says nothing still

Godson201333: I see you,Dont worry your husband is safe,Im assuming you abroad and your hubby in 9ja.....

I am abroad but i am not married yet. I just made up my mind a long time ago that i can date whoever i want but i will never ever touch a married man because i simply do not want anyone touching mine should i get married in the future. There is nothing painful and degrading than another person sleeping with your husband. If its just a boyfriend i do not care as he is not fully my property but should i catch someone with my husband in the future i would go to jail for murder because marriage is much more sacred

[quote author=Atheist:-D]Huh?? Is that what you would do?[/quote]i do not want to lie so yes that is what i do. i have been with my man for 13months now and very strategic in it. Before i met him i used to dump guys to quick. 6 months would be a lot for me simply because i was too nagging ( according to them). i am someone who likes attention and i realised that men do not give the attention we need. they like their own space, guys nite out etc so i decided that if i want to keep him i must learn from the past ones i have had before. i realised that if i am going to always nag for attention i would end up alone so i decided to stop nagging, ke quet and cheat. that way i get to hold on to the one i truely love, give him love and respect but when he pisses me off, i calmly smile at him and tell him not to worry as all is fine and he is forgiven then i call the standby guy who is always there for me. He was my first but ruined his chances of real love from me so i decided to allow him to be in my life after he told me that he had changed. He does not know that i love someone else, when i do not nag him also he thinks its just me not wanting to be a nuisence. Should one of them decide to marry me, that is when i will be loyal to one and take all the nonsence but before i get a ring on my fingure, i will not allow myself to be a victim of neglect. i am way too young to play a frustrated house wife

most woman cheat so that they do not look like nagging woman. if you do not give her the attention and she wants to avoid you saying she is nagging. she will not nag but she will cheat so that someone else gives her the attention and you will always be in the dark and think she is such a quet woman

It depends on the maturity of the girl. If she is still small minded and does not have her own car and a materialistic person, she will obvioulsly cheat because she feels she deserves a '' better'' guy. but if she is a genuine person with a good head on her shoulders she will love you regardless of vehicle or not. In your case i do not like the fact that she still went out with this guy and told you about it openly. to me it sounds as if she is someone who is stringing you along until she gets the better one. I blv if she loved you she would have atleast tried to spare your feelings and lied about going out with the guy because some truths are not worth it most of the time. forgive me if i sound bad but i would rather lie to the one i love so that i do not hurt them. i think you should just walk away go or go out with some girls then come tell her how you also took some girls out. lets see if she will still be so calm

she has probably been hurt because of being a single mom. you know how guys can be when they me FIND OUT THAT a lady has got a child. Just lv her alone dude she thinks you will hurt her and she is tired of that

whenevr i bcm frnds with my ex who i might still love i get confused and end up hating him so i would not advice anyone to be friends with an ex. cut contact altogether

its okay but when it ends someone is gonna get hurt and the other offended

take a hunk with as a date but do not try do embarassing things to make him jelous. you know how us ladies can seek attention by prending to be extra happy, laughing out loud bla bla bla. just be cool

stay away from those ladies. do not even entertain this. just tell them to lv u alone

thanks brother. you forgot to mention that even if the wife is in another country you must still keep your hands off him

poster you sound like a loose desparate girl

For most ladies we can take anything that comes with marriage. Whether my honey looses finance, family trouble etc but if there is one thing i can never ever forgive is indefility. a husband must never cheat on a woman and the woman must stop this nonsense of allowing men to cheat. then the marriage would be perfect. i would prefer he tells me when i start loosing my mojo instead of looking for it in other ladies

poster please do not take offence to what i am saying but remember that as individuals we all have our own financial problems and you should not be your man's burden. You are in love with him and being intimate with him is your choice. Do not expect money for being in love . Rather go be a prostitute if you are looking for money in exchange for your ..... you know know what i mean

poster you forgot to mention how much do you earn