₦airaland Forum

currently a PhD student in organic chemistry and i also teach 3 freshman chemistry classes, by the time i graduate ill be 26

definition of a second-class citizen

A second-class citizen is a person who's a citizen of a state or other entity, yet is treated unequally and unfairly relative to other citizens for a variety of reasons. Such status may be de jure or de facto, and is generally regarded as a violation of human rights. Historical (and current) examples allegedly include

1. African-Americans in the United States, especially before the American civil rights movement
2. Black South Africans under apartheid (althogh the government tried to make them non-citizens by establishing Bantustans, and then making them "citizens" of the Bantustans)
3. Israeli Arabs in modern-day Israel
4. Various native and aboriginal peoples in their homelands, which have been incorporated into larger states at which point such peoples become a minority
5. Native Hong Kong people under British rule
6. mestizo and native American people under Spanish rule in the Americas
7. French citizens of African and/or Arab descent in modern-day France

my fiance will be 23 when we get married, a few of my nigerian friends keep saying he is very very young but we both feel like we are ready,

monister

yes its allonym....

monister

how about i just let him come to this thread anc claim his territory....

monister

no we didn't meet on nairaland.. he introduced me to nairaland... we first out first year in college...

monister

Seun:
Congratulations, monister. Why don't you tell us something lovely about your future husband?

he is a member on nairaland.... he is graduation with his bachelor's and master's in electric engineering in may 2006. he's 6ft 2inches... extremely handsome and makes me happy...

monister

ok my me and my roomates and our boyfriends made reservations to have dinner at this fancy restaurant.
one of my roomates bday was on jan 1 but she was out of the country and her bf has graduated and lives in arizona and he had come to town this weekend to sorta do a belated celebration with her and we all decided to go to dinner..

a few minutes after our appetizers came maybe 10 minutes, the waitress came with these little gift bags and gave each person one and i was thinking it was cause we said it was someone's bday or something. so i look into my gift bag and there was a ring box in there and my bf (now fiance) was down on one knee telling me how he couldn't imagine spending the rest of his life without me and if i would marry him and of course i said yes, he put the ring on my finger and then i kissed him....

monister

As of 9.30pm on January 13, 2006 i am officially engaged to be married.

monister

from september to may im a student; chemistry major
in the summer i work at different internships; summer 04 at Amgen Inc. in southern california and summer 05 at Eli Lilly and Co. in indianapolis working in the medicinal chemistry and discovery chemistry departments respectively synthesizing potential drug analogs...
graduating may 06 doing another internship in the summer and then off to grad school for my PhD in synthetic organic chemistry (i dont need a masters degree first)


monister

my significant other is on nairaland too ..

monister

layi:
Depends on the type of account.

***An account where any of them is a signatory
***An account when both of them are signatories.

The second is ok but would say hell NO to the first.

what's wrong with the first?

monister

you can buy calling cards to call nigeria from www.caribone.com or www.callingcardplus.com and you get a lot of hours to call Nigeria for really cheap..

monister

Renike:
would I be comfortable...not really

why not?

would you date the help?

For women who work in an office, would you feel comfortable dating the men that work around the office, maintaining it? Like the janitorial staff, trash picker uppers, painters, movers, etc? If you would / do / did, how would you handle parading them to the rest of your co-workers?

that is a bouquet of flowers... i love flowers and im also happy when my SO gets me flowers...

monister

[quote author=larger_20 link=topic=3220.msg109395#msg109395 date=1132632156]I will marry a blind girl if she can give birth to healthy children with good eye site...I will marry her ......I will work had and keep her up to date.Things like this makes people famous and I want to be famous by doing unusual stuff.....[/quote]so u are not marrying her because u love her... only because she can have children and make u famous.... that's just sad...

monister

Alexia:
I think the husband could stick around for a while because the beginning might be really tough for the wife, but after a while despite all the love he may have for her he'll begin to feel the need to move on and build a real family with children. With time it's going to turn from love to pity and that's no better.

It's nice to say for better or for worse but should this guy's whole life just stop because of this unfortunate situation? Couldn't it be that somewhere his wife would actually want him to move on and not stick by her because he feels sorry for her?

why cant they adopt?... there are millions of orphanaged children in motherless babies homes all over nigeria.. children desperate for love.. why not adopt one of them? and if you really love the woman you married because she is unable to have kids should not make you love her less unless you married her for the sole purpose of her being a baby-making machine..this whole thing of nigerian men wanting kids of "their" own is highly overrated...

monister

what if the situation were reversed? Husband of 6 months crippled .. there is a professor in my school that experienced something similar he was hit by a car and sustained a spinal cord injury that has confined him to a wheel chair for the rest of his life ..  he's married but unable to have kids and he and his wife adopted 4 kids.. he also hair poor use of his hands as he lost most their dexterity and cannot even turn a key in a lock..... thats what a marriage and loving is about..


monister

allonym:
bride price is ritual acknowledgement of the parents role in the upbringing of their daughter.  They have raised the most beautiful treasure and the bride price you pay signifies your acknowledgement of their efforts.  If you truely think about it, almost nobody has ever truely paid the monetary price that equals the investment parents have made in their children and compared to that, bride price is just a token gesture.

beautifully said

allonym:
True nothing happens without a reason, but most people are in relationships with humans. Unless you have nothing else to do that to spend a few minutes each day pondering your actions and words (and you'll have to spend some time while you SO is asleep anticipating anything and preparing quick responses so the other time you spend thinking doesn't get noticed), you are doomed to make a mistake. For couples who spend a lot of time together, ie 12+ hours a day, the opportunities for you to do something that would get on the other person's nerves are greatly increased.

Since you're typically in a reciprocative relationship, you expect to be able to be yourself and that your partner would accept most of your faults. However, unless you are one of those rare very small number of faults people and your partner is the same, chances are if you are in the spend lots of time together group, you cannot get away from chipping away at your SO's patience. As a result, you'd tend to have arguments.

Another thing is that humans take the good or the expected for granted and we get upset with bad or unexpected. When the microphone works at an event, we don't thank or appreciate the sound people. When the mic acts up, then we're like, wtf is up with those idiots? Or we don't always think to show our appreciation for someone holding the door for us. But the day the door slams in our faces, either accidentally or on purpose, we blow up.

Additionally, as human, we have longer memories of things that hurt us. Its how we condition reflexes from birth. Tell a child not to play with matches, you have a slim chance of the kid paying attention. Have the child burn themselves, you can be sure unless they are pyromaniacs or masochistic, they will have learned the lesson. I'm betting that people here (on this forum) memories of their worst spankings as kids (for those who are no longer kids) is more vivid that most memories of nice happy times.

So, we tend to remember the arguments more in a relationship, especially in the heat of another one. At those times, couples are at their weakest because what's foremost in mind is typically no the good parts of your SO. However, it cannot be escaped and for those couples who want to make things work and truely love each other, its an opportunity to blow off steam and can raise issues for calm discussion afterwards.

i totally agree with this..

monister

Seun:
I am not comfortable with the idea of asking a girl's parents for her hand. I mean, what is that? If the parents don't accept me, am I going to walk away? And what happens if the parents accept my "proposal" but the girl says "no"? Will they force her or try to convince her on my behalf? Doesn't this mean that I see my future wife as a child under her parents and not a woman? I don't like this idea at all!

I've always thought that what happens is that you propose to your woman, and then if she accepts, then you visit your parents together and tell them "we're getting married!" Or the woman goes to her mother and said "Seun asked me to marry him and I said 'yes'!" Or, "Seun asked me to marry him and I'm wondering if I should accept" But definitely not, "Seun wants me to marry him and I want your permission". Who wants to marry a child?

Ok, I realise that I've not answered your question yet. Here is a link that might be helpful:
> http://www.ehow.com/how_9810_ask-girlfriends-father.html

well my bf is also planning to do this but its more of a formality/respect for the father, my dad knows he's going to do it cause i already told my dad that this is the person i want to marry so he is just formally voicing his intentions to the father and asking for his blessing then he'll propose...

monister

so then you must also think a woman should not be the one to propose

monister

layi:
The analogy for the ideal relationship should be bolt and nut ...not...hunter and prey my dear.

U can make him woo u. I dontn advice ladies to woo.

why not?

monister

allonym:
my dad is like that with my SO. Must be either an ibo thing or an Imo State one. . .

yep my SO's dad is like that to me... must be an ibo or imo state thing....

monister

Seun:
Most men I know would not mind that mindset at all.

The only problem is what to do if the first child is delayed for months or years, and you've made up your mind to be a full-time mom and housewife. What then?

well you could work full-time and still be there for your husband until you are both ready to have kids.. this is what im planning to do .. once we decide we are ready to have kids if i was working in the pharmaceutical/biotech industry ill be quiting my cushy job to teach full time so that I can have a more flexible schedule.. besides that's what i love most anyway teaching organic chemistry..

monister

I will be graduating in May 2006 with my bachelor's degree in chemistry and then going on begining fall 2006 to begin my PhD in Organic Chemistry ... but guess what I would still love more than anything else (and if you knew my friends and my SO to ask them they will tell you that I LOVE my organic chemistry and being in my research lab) to be a stay at home mom to care for my children and be there for my husband when he comes home from work with his meals prepared and all of that.. but hey that's just me..

If I were to work I would rather take a job with less pay that would allow me to be home everytime my husband and kids are as opposed to even making twice as much and not being able to spend that much time with my family...

monister

the country is still poor because the 1% of the population that is rich uses 99% of the income and the 99% poor use 1% of the income

monister

this happened in my school the girl woke up to find her boyfriend dead... he died of natural causes though but the girl was so distraught .. i didnt follow the story since i didnt know the people involved..

monister

A while ago I would have said yes but now I'll say no. I did this a while back and it caused so much strife in my relationship and the moment you feel like you should be snooping around,  you should sit your partner down and talk to them. In retrospect, i wish i had done that instead of snooping; i feel like it would have gone down better... so my advice if you feel like you need to be checking your partner's phone, computer or anything its time you had a heart to heart with him/her.

monister