Jenny's point-of-view is a little short-sighted here. Plans get derailed all the time and nobody is immune to the occasional upheaval. Yes, planning well is critical to minimize but NOT eliminate all disruptions.

I don't think it is in the place of anybody but a close family member or friend to disclose that kind of information to the wife. For all you know, the wife might already know or the husband might be looking for the best time to tell her. Either way, if you have not been a regular guest in their bedroom up to date, I don't see how it is now in your place to barge in now with breaking news.

I just wonder at how neighbors know of this man's HIV status but his own wife has no clue; something about the story sounds fishy (except of course, one of his neighbors is an employee at the testing center or the hospital).

Freesia:

Didn't know of a better way to say other than strike.To be in 2012 and to think that having Electricity 247 as luxury is totally wrong

The funny thing is that I used to be anguished at the state of things in Nigeria until I realized that the Nigerians that are truly suffering don't really care! Even in America where things are relatively well-run, people protest ALL THE TIME for things like union wages, civil rights, police brutality etc. Nigerians just sit there and wait for God to intervene and "touch the heart" of their leaders. Well, we have been waiting for 52years and nothing has happened so far. Maybe God is testing them like he tested Job or maybe they just have not suffered enough.

Why are you guys derailing the thread with daft, teenage gossip! Nobody cares who Dayokunu is kpekusing! Take that sh[i]i[/i]t to the Romance Section, please! People that get laid in real life don't discuss it on the internet!

Godogwu:

I seriously don't know why some Nigerians still have this foolish way of thinking........first of all, most of these houses aren't owned by politicians!!!, people actually work in Nigeria....we have doctors, nurses, engineers, lawyers, CEOs, business men and women, actors, artistes and so on.....politicians are not the only wealthy people in the country. Most of these politicians actually started making money on their own before joining politics . secondly, the fact that you don't own a property like this doesn't mean money has been stolen from you; I'm very sure you didn't have a billion Nara that was forcefully taken by the government.....I believe you should work hard on your own and stop blaming the government for your misfortunes because there are people out there making cool cash in Nigeria.

This is a lie. Few people besides politicians and the very top businessmen have $1million-$2million lying around to build these types of houses. It's no coincidence that a majority of the newer houses that were posted are located in Abuja. My uncle builds premium houses like these in Abuja and I know from several personal conversations with him that a good 70%-80% of the clientele for show-piece Abuja mansions are politicians, ministers and top government workers. Successful people that made their money in the private sector through legitimate means (i.e. "doctors, nurses, engineers, lawyers, CEOs, business men and women, actors, artistes" rarely choose to invest that kind of money in a relatively illiquid asset that might sit empty for most of the year (they typically build relatively modest mansions close to where they actually work and live like Lagos/PH). The vast majority of the spanking-new Abuja mansions you see are built with stolen money (ditto for most of the structures on Banana Island).

Stop spewing lies if you don't really know what you're talking about.

Freesia: Awww Shucks!!! So what happens to people who can't afford generators and Nepa is on strike for weeks on end??

They suffer in silence, roast in their own body-heat, and sing-along with the mosquitoes. Their lot won't get any better until they realize that they deserve better and go fight for their rights on the streets. Nothing good comes to those who wait in perpetuity.

This thread is full of the daftest generalizations ever! Both women and men claw at each other! It's only that women tend to fight emotionally. The irony of a woman-bashing thread about woman-bashing!

You're like a baby pacifier to him; he picks you up only when he's bored and ho[i]r[/i]ny. Don't allow yourself to be a plaything! Stand tall and walk away from this mess with dignity and don't ever look back. Good luck!

@ OP, you haven't completely exhausted your current options. Try IVF. It's pricey but it works especially in cases where the doctors can't find anything obviously wrong. Divorcing your wife of 10years is unnecessary and a bit short-sighed in my opinion.

chaircover: serubobo dont mind that moremi rascal. On top all his Cambridge, oxford and Harvard degrees he still doesn't know that you cant generalize a whole community

Whatever Keep denying that your peoples are a bit tough to handle!

serubawon:

Watch it bro, you're about to walk smack into a trap about the wifey thingy. "flop Ijebu woman"........bro, I fear for you right now.

Madam CC already knows I have issues with Ijebu women! LOL!

dayokanu: Moremi over to you

What was missing from your childhood that the overwhelming need for a gf is the only thing that could cure it?

I refuse to read anymore of his foolishness. His case is hopeless.

chaircover: Hmmmmmmm efe I am going to smack you ooooo!!!!

Do you know how heartbreaking it is to see 40 year olds and 50 year olds struggling with School, thinking that a CISCO, SAP or Law qualification will land them a six figure job. They are sold the idea by going through jobserve and blinking at the wages and thinking Shebi it is SAP qualification; lets go there!!! but what I see in reality is grown people borrowing money to do these very expensive courses but have nothing to show for it at the end of the day.

The job market out there is cut throat and its a field day for employers; they pick & choose what they want and if they have a choice between a 22 year old and a 49 year old it goes without saying they will pick the younger one; unless you want to work for B&Q or Homebase etc They are "older people friendly" employers

If the man is in a dead end job, the only option at this point is to supplement his income. I dont know how old the posters husband is but I reckon that he must be over 40. At this stage I would forget about qualifications and look at other ways of generating income for himself. Of course a short saturday or evening business course will be a positive thing.

Knowledge is power of course, but there is a difference between someone just taking a course in his spare time to expand his knowledge and someone going on a course to get a specific job at the end of it.

I agree with Chaircover. At a certain point, investing in higher education for the purposes of higher pay is not advisable; the returns to that extra education are not worth the cost. Besides, where is the money for additional school going to come from? Loans? It's just too risky, especially in the UK's double-dip recession. Nothing is worse that seeing older students saddled with loans and no job!

Recessions are typically cyclical and the UK can't be in a recession forever (and I have been hearing nothing but terrible things about the UK lately). Just have a little patience and consider additional sources of income (like an extra job) to create some excess income for savings. To be honest, things could be much worse! Haven't you been reading the horror stories on here lately about unhappy homes and terror husbands? Just thank God and keep your faith up. Things will turn around if you keep working hard and looking for creative ways to earn extra money. Hopefully, this economic cycle is over quickly!

ms.anon:
Thanks for your comments. I would look into letting the school authorities know that my sponsor is not capable of paying my fees anymore. The 1.2 mil isn't accumulated debt but the other part of my fees. I'm not from a wealthy home like I stated earlier, really focused and an A student. I've always managed to live and spend like the money came from my father's sweat. Also, my boyfriend doesn't have the money per se at the moment. He's expecting some contracts and is quite optimistic that he'll be able to pay the debt and subsequent tuition. Thanks for the replies. Any input at all is appreciated. I'm at the point where I want to make a decision and I'm weighing my options. Thanks, guys.

Just don't rush into marriage because your BF wants to pay your fees!

chaircover: Yes oooooooo! So to make her even more happy, try and work quickly on bringing her a good woman and lots of grandkids

All in God's time. In between ladies right now (the last one was a flop Ijebu woman ). I still get ~5yrs before I become a candidate for serious prayer and fasting. There's no rush oh!

chaircover:

So Its confirmed; Our only male cabal member is a mummys boy . . . awwwwwwwwww

I have never been ashamed of being a mama's boy! She loves me and I love her back! Iya ni wura.

chaircover: i think it is the mindset. We go with a mind of going "home" to have a holiday and enjoying ourselves. The kids go every year so it is becoming second nature to them. This last time the older kid was in charge of the gen (with supervision of course)

Our internet connection is visaphone modem and it is fast enough for what we want it to do. To be honest if we weren't out and about, they were at home playing on their consoles so they didn't really need a super duper fast connection all of the time.

I dont know if it is because its another home away from home, that has affored them to settle much more easier. We dont stay with relatives and so it is me running the household as I would in the UK, as in its my rules which they are already used to.

Because they have their own weight allowances they carry all the things that they want. I dont use their suitcases to pack my stuff, and madam managed to pack her 29 bratz dolls
We pack freezer bags of their frozen food favorites other dry foods that they like. I even packed a 5kg bag of the rice brand that they eat. So they have no choice but to enjoy Naija or I give them egba

The traffic situation; For journeys that I knew will have traffic, Kids had a mini travel bag each; in it was a charged up hand held console, games, drinks, sweets, books, notebook and pen plus they each have a portable DVD player. If I hear any complaint from them pere, na cane be dat

I think it's easier when you have a place you're familiar with. When I go back, I stay in the house I grew up in. My teenage room is still the same (although it has been renovated and all my 2pac and DMX posters are gone! ). My mum knows everything I like so I never have any headaches. She knows to reserve one driver plus one Eshin for my use (God forbid I brave Lagos traffic by myself) and to load up on Eva. She knows I don't play with my internet so she has her assistant triple check that it's good to go and the card is loaded up. She makes sure the diesel tank is full and she knows to tell everybody that the gen cannot be turned off until I am verifiable asleep around midnight and it must be turned on by 6am (they also know to "fleet" my room every evening). She knows that I don't eat outside the house so she makes sure all the foods I like are well stocked (I must chop Bush meat + snails + amala/pounded yam every night oh or fight go dey! Too bad she refuses adamantly to stock beer in her house!).

My mum still likes to live like a village woman with minimal generator and no internet, so I know my visits always cause her to go the extra mile. To make her "more eager", I give her 2k per week for "owo obe". My mama too like dollars, she has never refused the money but it's worth it cuz I have never had cause to complain after a trip home (i honestly couldn't get better treatment at a 5-star hotel). Bottom line, if you go regularly enough, your people will know how you like things and make sure you have a stress-free trip (just make sure you "grease" their hands well-well so they don't think you're a giant leach). Prepare better next time bros!

Are you in a US school or a UK school? Your options might depend on the country you're based in. If you are in the US, then your options are rather slim and you might have to take a leave of absence. If you have really stellar grades and your school likes you, they might give you a scholarship to ease the burden. If all else fail, you might be able to get your international student office to do a hardship filing for you (although I doubt that your situation would qualify as a "hardship". Whatever happens, know that this isn't the end of the world. You're a smart and bright lady and where there is a will, there is a way. Whether your uncle assists you or not, you are going to achieve whatever God has determined you will achieve. If this means coming back to Nigeria to start all over again, then so be it! Please keep us updated on your situation.

@ OP, it sounds like you have an unforgiving spirit. Your husband hurt you long ago but you haven't been able to forgive him completely yet. You have swept your hurt and pain under the rug, and have locked it up in a room that's deep within your heart that nobody else has access to. This bitter hurt is poisoning your marriage and standing in the way of your happiness.

That you have held on to this hurt this long means that it's pretty serious and nothing that's said on here is going to do very much for you. What you need is some kind of catharsis, an event or conversation that will bring out the hurt into daylight, and allow you to ACTUALLY deal with it once and for all. If this doesn't happen, then I am afraid that your marriage is not going to get better. There's a giant gulf between you and your husband that must be bridged.

If you're the spiritual type, then you need to attack this spiritually with prayer and fasting. If you're abroad, then you need to hire a good therapist that'll help you work through your issues. Either way, it isn't fair to you or to your husband to suffer through a cold, loveless marriage when you both could be doing so much better!

2buff:

Abi OO.
There seem to be some very nonsense doctrines floating about nowadays.
God is the father of all life (creator), but he is not the "daddy" of all life. He is only daddy to those who seek him, and jude's wife was one of these.
God is not a "daddy" to a witch (which is pretty much the level of wickedness the girl had to be at when another woman's wife begs you to leave her husband alone and you tell her to piss off). So when daddy vex....daddy vex.

Fact is the girl very likely wouldn't have died if she chose to repent and confess.
The lie she told of not being guilty even after the revelation that could have only come from GOD (meaning she had ABSOLUTE ZERO reverence or respect for God) was what got her written off. When such revelations of conviction come, be sure not a single lie leaves your mouth at that point as anything can happen.
That was essentially lying to the Holy Spirit...remember Annanias and Saphira.
They never got the truth from her. It had to be from her friend. She missed her chance to come clean and lighten her sentence...

Your brain cells are a little lacking. So what about Jude? God's wrath doesn't apply to Jude? I am guessing because he's the man? From what I read, he wasn't repentant at all too! Abeg, get out of here with your half-baked mago-mago theology!

I see that Sisi Kill is up to the task of interpretation! Sisi Kill, is it true that you're Tapa? As in, aren't those Nupe people? Where did you learn Yoruba?

PS - I don tire this guy's case oh!. He's just a lily-livered man. Imagine asking another woman for a sample SMS message to send the chick!!! What part of leave her alone doesn't he understand?! LOL!!!! I wish him well (and perhaps a few more heartbreaks to really toughen him up!) This is the type of guy that makes Lagos girls act anyhow! Just spoiling business for the rest of us.

^^^This is how impoverished people in all cultures across the world reason. Sorry, God is NOT going to smooth out anything if you're not ready to be the smartest or the most hard working person around! Extremely poor parents would do well to hold-off on having children until they can at least afford to provide them with basic education (these days, secondary schooling is considered a part of basic education). This mentality that you can just have kids and "God" will take care of them is dangerous and a recipe for passing on poverty down the family tree.

chaircover: @moremi as the only male member of our cabal, I can see that you listened very well in your training classes and are now doing a great job, so we feel confident enough to leave you to sort things out while we do our nails and our weaves

No disrespect o!, but these are the men that we are bringing up these days; soft men with sardine bones. Men that are supposed to the be leaders and the head of the home. A girl that should have been kicked to the kerb since 1934 is still giving a foreign educated master degree holder an unsettled tummy.

As Dayo said, he needs to find himself one of these landcruiser defence chicks to give him the time of his life or take a trip to LUTH or UCH or pick up a Nigerian Newspaper and then see the real meaning of problems and compare it to the little inconvenience that is making him die slowly now.

The girl cheated for goodness sakes and to add insult to injury refused to be remorseful about it; so what further handwriting on the wall do you need to realize that she is no good for you and that you did infact have a lucky escape or you may find youself doing DNA tests on your teenage children years down the line.

Like I said earlier, in 5 years time, he will be embarrassed to see this thread.

Oh and by the way, women do not respect wusses.

GBAM! OP, you've heard it from a woman's mouth! Man up! Let it go. There's plenty of fish in the ocean. You made a mistake (we all do), but it's time to move on from that mistake so you can meet other eligible women.

GIANT DISCLAIMER: I am not a part of any Cabal and I will never be a part of it! Madam CC is just looking for my trouble! Thanks!

uche77zero:
www.rivcloud.gov.ng
According to the Special Adviser (SA) to the Governor on ICT, Engr. Goodliffe Nmekini, RivCloud is a local Cloud Computing program designed to bring computing access to the people. It will be done in partnership with the private sector such as MTN, GLO, etc, to open new markets, create jobs and boost the local economy.

In his words “this initiative borders on the internet being an economic platform that brings content providers together with content consumers in a virtual market place, accessed from any computing device. This will in turn create opportunities for young developers.”

LOL!!!!!! Reading this almost made me fall out of my chair! Our leaders are just morons! The government can't provide basic infrastructure, but it wants to provide cloud computing access!!!! Hahaha! Somebody has chopped all the money! Does anybody know whatever happened to our space program? Is our multi-million dollar spacecraft still a piece of non-functional junk? Backward country run by backward people.

I agree that the auto section has become seriously bothersome because of the ads. Another example of a section that needs to be revamped is the Properties/Real Estate section; it's also full of ads and little substance!

2buff:

It's none of my business how God chooses to judge a matter. That is between Him and the judgees.
Na who born me wey I wan dey [b]critique [/b]how God say he wan do something?
At most na only beg I fit beg.

You are implicitly assuming that God had anything to do with the events of this story and that the story is true. Those assumptions are false; and any theological conclusions that stem from false assumptions are probably false as well. Just my opinion.

2buff:

I don't remember anyone giving the impression that he was a hitman.
He is a father, seeing his daughter accusted by an adamantly wicked person. And he solved HIS daughter's problem.
Quite simple really.

I am sorry, but his daughter's problem was her husband's wandering eyes and dick! With respect to Nneka's marriage, Fadeke is relatively sinless! She wasn't a party to any covenant! Let's stop twisting theology to fit our biases. It's nice moral story; but it is ultimately fake and flawed.

Moderator, can you please move this to the Romance section? Thanks.

This thread is hysterical and it's even funnier because the ladies are suspiciously missing! Where is the Cabal to come and soothe this poor man's heart?!

MRbrownJAY: ^^^ some men are like that, but i sure aint one of them, and find the issue of lovemaking during the pregnancy quite normal. I made love till the day before their water broke, as most women are hornier during pregnancy. why would i step away when there is more fun to be had?! haba!!!!

you just have to find the right position to make it fun for the both of you, et voila!

I guess I should shut-up since I am not married and I have never done it with a visibly pregnant woman. Even talking about it feels gross! What if the baby comes out while you're doing it? Or she gets hurt? Didn't you feel like you were disrespecting the baby by doing it while it was so close-by? I would rather retire to the study with my laptop to play with myself and I think a lot of men feel this way.

maclatunji:

nonyJ, this all about you innit?

Sssshhh!!!! It's an open secret around here that most people seeking advice for "friends" are really seeking answers for themselves. Just indulge her and help her with advice for her "friend". It's easier when we all play make-believe!