*dhtml:
What is it with women and marriage sef? Must you marry by fire by force?
@that age, even without a child, it is a bit hard to find a single guy o. Even a single guy of 40 will want to marry below 30.

Abeg, tell them oh! Some people are just daft! Imagine asking a 35+yrs old woman with a child to wait for a single man to come marry her! Hahahahahaha!!!!! Pure foolishness! A woman that does that must be very willing to risk being a single mum for the rest of her life! She go wait tire!

It takes situations like this to know what your spouse is truly made off! He who pays the piper, dictates the tune. For now, the best you can do is just take all of this humbly and quietly while working on your come-back plan. When you get a new job, you can figure out how to deal with her. Just thank God that your family has at least one salary to depend on. There are several families without a single source of income! Now, that's a REAL challenge worthy of a Nairaland post!

Please be careful taking advice from these young girls with minimal life experience. You are at least 35yrs old with a child and you're still holding-out for a single guy. What are you? Stuupid? Please don't set yourself up for disappointment or for falling into the trap of another useless guy who'll promise you marriage, steal from you and then dump you. At your age, the very best single guys are already gone. The remaining good ones will be looking to marry younger. All that's left for older ladies are the very, very worst ones.

Having said this, you should look carefully before committing to this older man. You have said a couple of things that are positive signals. He wanted to marry you before you got pregnant and his love for you has not diminished since he discovered your changed situation. This is a good sign because it means the guy really likes you. Other guys would have run away the moment you got pregnant for another man. You also mention that his children know about you and his first child wants to come spend time with you. This is also a good sign. You should spend time with this girl when she arrives and try to find out more about this man's first marriage and why it failed.

Overall, chances are slim that you will find an ideal, perfect marital situation (because you yourself are not an ideal, perfect candidate). You need to draw near to God now, more than ever. You might ultimately have to take a long leap of faith in this situation. The worst case scenario is that you marry this guy and it doesn't work out. Even in the worse case scenario, you'll probably have one or two more kids and will have established firm footing in the US. Your worse case scenario looks better than the current situation of many people advising you not to marry this man. Just a thought. Good luck!

Omo, this girl don fall hand oh! Of all the rich politicians she could have married, nah this ugly monkey man in his 50's she found?!!! The poor stuupid thing!

It's a Yoruba thing. We call everybody older and close to us inappropriate titles like Daddy, Mummy, Big Mummy, Aunty, Uncle etc...I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Jonathan is pathetically weak. This should come as no surprise because the man has very limited real leadership experience, especially at the national level. Nigerians are paying dearly for this inexperience. OBJ was most likely 10 times more corrupt than Jonathan but his tenure was relatively peaceful; people will always choose peace over probity, any day.

I don't see a real way forward for Nigeria unless the South is ready to make peace with perpetual Northern leadership or Nigeria splits up. It's only a matter of time before something forces us all to make a choice. The North is never going to be at ease with a Southerner in power.

There you have your answer! 99% of the regulars have nursing babies! We should just change this section into the "Child-Rearing Section". Maybe that will get everybody active again.

Even in the West, power bikes are an expensive hobby for a small niche of thrill-seeking bike enthusiasts. Naija roads are hazardous enough in a Prado jeep, I can't imagine what kind of risks you're taking riding this bike in Lagos. Consequently, the market for used power bikes must be very small in Naija.

If you had thought this through properly, you would have sold this bike before relocating. Some goods become worthless in the local Nigerian market once they leave the West (e.g. hybrid cars, diamonds, fine art, antiques etc). Good luck!

The Syrian drama is going to continue for a while; the world powers are too distracted by Euro-zone economic woes. By the time they finally pay attention, the Middle-East will be on fire.

deenee: @ moremi, you are quite correct, the PE industry in Nigeria is plagued with many teething issues some of which you have elaborated in your post. However, it is not all "gloom and doom" as you have put it. Most of the foreign PE firms now understand that they cannot structure PE transactions as obtained in the US/West and quite a number of them have picked up steep learning points from some of their botched deals.

This said, there are some deals worthy of mention in the TMT sector, real estate, infrastructure,F.I, healthcare and recently retail and hospitality. Additionally, one of the majors risks faced by these firms is "currency risk" especially those that have foreign partners or have raised funds from abroad.

I presume you are also based abroad so I will suggest that do a little bit of research like me. I recently came across an individual in NY who was on holiday and who works for a LLP that handles all of Dangote's PE transactions (Nascon, Dangsugar, Dangcem just to mention a few) I initially thought he was just "dropping names" until I visited their office somewhere in a very quiet part of Ikoyi. I cannot say more at this point.

I guess the real challenge is finding a stable and scale-able PE investment structure that works for Nigeria. In the West, PE funds are usually separate from venture capital funds, real estate funds and even infrastructure funds. Nigeria's funds seem to be a hodge-podge of everything and thus, they struggle to achieve consistent returns. I am sure that there are several one-off fantastic deals in all the industries you mentioned. But those deals are not enough to deliver 30%+ returns for two or three fully-invested $1bn+ funds.

If it's your calling to go manage money for Dangote, then please go for it! It's a fantastic opportunity. As for me, I am trying to be like Dangote himself, not help him get even richer! LOL!!!!!

But isn't urine technically sterile? I would think the bigger concern would be skin bacteria and fecal matter. I don't swim; nothing concern me.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!! I would have paid a pretty penny to watch this! You probably gave the poor man a heart attack! Nobody, not even old men, want to die.

Well, there is no free lunch. You're a full grown man still living at home, spending your father's retirement money! You had better make yourself useful while you're still searching for a job!

Perhaps she sees traits of your father in you. Are you a wife-beater?

Ivynwa:

At 13, are you fr*aking kidding me? I do like the charming fabulous Kimora lady too, her smiles light up a room. It's all fuzzy with what is going on between the 3 or is it even 4(Mr Simmons inclusive). I mean this Kim lady is with another man, bearing your name and you are still hovering over her like a mother chicken fighting for her case etc
Kola did mention that Kimora was her friend before and that she has been with Djimon before Kimora, if what she said Kimora did to her that made her do this is true then they all deserve themselves truly. Kola's, Kimora's and Djimon's s*x lives are actually their business, I admire Kola for going through hell and coming out bold with an unbroken spirit and still being here overcoming and succeeding. Kimora seems to have great business sense too, it takes some work to be in her line of business. As for Djimon, in the past I once read the story of how somebody picked him off the street of Paris only to become a good actor. Their life stories, achievement and hardwork are a bit inspiring even when their recent saga isn't. Whoops!

You should read between the lines with these celebrities. Indeed, Djimon was picked up the streets of Paris and was promptly the plaything and then husband of a rich French woman who people claim is still legally married to him. Yes, go research Kimora's sick relationship with Russell and you'll see that they both go both ways, male and female. Such a fcking mess!

I have followed Kola Boof for a while (since way before this Djimon saga) and a few things remain in the shadows about her. They are as follows:

1) Her relationship with the US government: Is she under government protection? If yes, can she get away with causing all this drama? Will she really risk deportation for cheap fame?
2) Her mental health: She clearly has mental health issues but it isn't clear if these issues are severe enough to completely discredit her claims. Crazy people can still tell the truth.

Having said all this, I am still on the fence about her allegations. They are too ridiculous and salacious to be believed but at the same time, only a truly, psych-ward emergency case will make such claims and continue to defend them in the face of a pending lawsuit. It doesn't help at all that Djimon and Kimora were never legally married (and that Djimon has a legal wife somewhere). It also doesn't help that Kimora is a shady child prostitute who started sleeping with Russell when she was barely 13 and got into a completely sham marriage with a man who is almost certainly homo/bi for money. Everybody knows BabyPhat is doing poorly and Russell still bankrolls Kimora's lifestyle until today.

They all deserve each other in my opinion. Crazy people with crazy values. It's just a shame that there are young children involved with this sordid mess.

Agba Ngohile: All is going 2 b fyn dear ,al u nid 2 do is to have faith in God because with him al tins are possible."WAT A SYMPATHETIC STORY"

Sympathetic story ke? Nah who teach you English? You should sue that person. LOLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!

I was just thinking about making a similar thread yesterday. I took a brief break and came back to meet an empty house! The entire section is just dry.

The irony of the situation is instructive. When there's drama and e-fights, everybody rushes back here to gawk, laugh and throw stones, making the place lively. As soon as the place starts to bubble, some haters of fun and entertainment will immediately run to Tgirl and Nike, crying foul. Then the mods wake up from their slumber and go on a relentless campaign of censoring, deleting, and recriminations. As a result, everything cools down and everybody leaves to go find entertainment elsewhere. Why are we complaining again?

My rules about this issue are pretty straight forward. I know my mother well, her strengths and weaknesses. My role as a man, son and husband is to allow my future wife to get to know my mum well too so she knows how to treat her and vice versa. I simply cannot marry a woman that doesn't get along with my Mum. It's non-negotiable for me. Once a girl starts acting funny and starts making stupid in-law jokes, she's out.

The PE industry in Nigeria is at its very infancy. Very few of them have made boast-worthy returns and many of them lose their shirts trying to structure US-style deals in Nigeria (e.g. ECP). In fact, only Helios appears to know what it's doing (there might be a couple more that I am not familiar with). Whatever happened to the new Carlyle office? Have they made any investments yet? There are probably one-off deals in every sector but the problem is that all it takes is one or two large investments in one sector to crowd out returns and close that sector to further investment(e.g. mobile telecoms). One of Nigeria's most promising sectors is infrastructure but infrastructure returns are generally low, require longer hold periods and involve too much government/regulatory risk. I hear real estate is hot cake these days but I suspect that's mostly hype (there is only so much room for luxury hotels and high-end residences).

However, identifying the right opportunity is the very least of the problems with PE investing in Nigeria. Exit ops are very poor with barely-functioning capital markets and a limited pool of deep-pocketed strategic buyers. The currency translation risks involved with Naira-denominated returns on Dollar-denominated distributions to LPs are considerable. Just forget about LBOs in Nigeria; where are the lenders going to come from? You try servicing debt at rates that equal equity cost-of-capital in the US and come tell us how that goes! What about political risk, management risk and Nigeria's fragile macro-economy? All it takes is a severe oil price shock or a non-democratic regime change to send the economy into a tail-spin. We'll see what's left when the awouf money dries up.

I have had a few offers to do Africa-focused PE in the past but turned them down because I don't believe much of the PE story in SS Africa (except SA), yet. I'll reconsider when I approach partner-levels in a few years.

This boyfriend that couldn't introduce you to his family is the same one advising you to move to Europe? Please approach cautiously. This is how young, naive girls get sold into prostitution. Don't put yourself in a desperate situation all because you want to stay abroad by force.

Context? Is she serving punishment?

God give us the wisdom to avoid daft wives.

How do you sleep coated in shea butter + sugar? Doesn't it stain your bed sheets? Wouldn't your husband be grossed out by the sticky residue? Besides, are you sure you aren't being scammed? What's the special sauce in this product that you can't find in a basic shea butter body cream or in an exfoliating body wash? Just curious because the logic of this product plug isn't particularly obvious.

Your friend is a mad woman that has placed no value on her head. I can't believe that a lady of any worth will date a guy for 3 months and not know his name! At this point, I think they deserve each other! Please reassure your friend that she's up for a very exciting relationship full of drama and bad surprises.

This is quite common... one parent assumes the child is with the other and vice-versa. Although I think Cameron is a complete dolt, I think he made a honest mistake here.

Marriage is very tough business. The vast majority of young Nigerians have absolutely no idea what it means to be happily married; instead they make-do with unspoken arrangements of mutual convenience and baby-rearing. At one point, my heart used to ache for the thousands of young Nigerians in unhappy, violent marriages. Not anymore! If you're too stewpid to plan your life carefully, then you surely deserve whatever it is you get coming your way.

Do you thank them everyday for the free food, rent and school fees? Are you at the very top of your class in school? What have you done lately to add value to your family?

You come across as a spoiled ingrate! Why don't you work hard so you can get out of your parents' house one day? Whining and moaning about household chores does not come across as very mature. Good luck!

dayokanu:

Think debrief is a lawyer while this one is a Nurse. Could be wrong though

I think it's Debrief's ex too. What an awful tragedy.

Is that a request or a demand? LOL!!!! Naija sha! All manner of people.

I am a bit relieved that his request is a cultural thing. In that case, then the OP should just do the wedding at the husband's church. His request is not a selfish one and it's not good to start annoying your future in-laws even before marrying. Good luck to you!