₦airaland Forum

nonyJ: Yes its her first time and she is really disturbed about it. Yes there was good communication before pregnancy. And now its like 2/10. Its really hurting her

The first thing you should tell her is that her husband's reaction is normal! A lot of men don't like to touch their wives when they are heavily pregnant. Once she understands this, the situation will be much less bewildering and she can start to approach the issue they way she would approach normal relationship issues: by open communication.

To be honest, I am beginning to suspect that your friend has been pestering the husband for sex and that's why the man has shut down. Now that your friend knows why her husband isn't sleeping with her, she might need to back-off from demanding sex if she wants to re-open communication channels.

I hate pets! They are gross and needy.

MRbrownJAY: not every man is "ok" with making love to an heavily pregnant woman, some even finds it repulsive and dangerous. i doubt there is much this person can do but to communicate with her hubby and possibly reassuring him that all is ok.
as for the communicating part, were they communicating openly before the pregnancy?

Ditto. Ask your friend to chill-out and calm down with a cold drink. I find the thought of making love to a heavily pregnant lady a bit gross and perverted. Her husband probably just doesn't want to have sex with her until the baby is out! Is this her first pregnancy? She should know the rules by now!

Your experience is a rather common occurrence. Some women are just horrible people; there's nothing you can do to change that. Thankfully, life usually treats such women unkindly.

Just thank God you're out of their house. At the end of the day, she was doing you a favor by hosting you in her house. At least now you know what a horrible person she is and you can avoid her like a plague going forward.

Sad and touching story but I find it difficult to believe that God would punish only Fadeke and leave Jude. The story sounds a little self-serving to me; as if Jude was this innocent man standing by the wayside and a hungry Fadeke clubbed him on the head and dragged him into her liar. It always takes two to tango and Nneka should have been on her knees interceding for her husband before God, not seeking revenge on the woman he is cheating with. I also find it hard to believe that the prayers of Fadeke's parents and pastor did not move God to show mercy.

Nice but fake story. It has a good moral lesson though!

afdman: moremi SHUT THE FUCKUP........ How e take affect you. Leave the man to solve his emotional issues. Titan handle your biz man. Its all good.

This man has zero interest in solving any emotional issues. He came here to pine and seek sympathetic ears. Too bad I have zero sympathies for a grown man, the future head of a household, who is unable to handle romantic disappointment with some modicum of dignity. What is he going to do when life throws him a real tragedy? Throw himself off 3rd Mainland? I am not in the business of coddling grown-azz men! Sue me if this upsets you.

Looks just like Ibadan, or a dozen other Nigerian cities that haven't seen much progress since the days of the 3 regions!

titans: Not your fault

Of course, it's not my fault! It's your fault! You're the mugu pining for a woman that not only cheated on you but disrespected your family! You my man, have no self-esteem and no shame! As a man, I would be livid if a woman treated me and my family this way!

OYINBOGOJU: If you see them in Japan,they have pride more than the president

In the club ordinary $10 Corona beer they can not buy

To be completely honest, most low-level military men and women are recruited from the poorest neighborhoods and backgrounds. They are only "forming" in Japan because they are in uniform and have the backing of the most powerful government in the world. In the US unfortunately, they are nobodies. This is the sad reality.

Nairaland is full of honey-tongued scam artists! The moderators and the owner does relatively little to put these thieves in check! I bet you Damola1 will be back next week (probably with a new screen name) to sell another "perfect condition" car to an unsuspecting Nairalander!

@ OP - your mistake was trusting a seller to sell you a car without actually inspecting it! You're lucky the seller didn't close his GT account and disappear into thin air leaving you with neither a car nor your N2mm! Happens all the time in Lagos!

I would caution you before joining the army. There is a reason why American citizens aren't signing-up in droves! Are you thinking about joining for the pay? the papers? If you answers to any of this is yes, then you are better off directing your hustle elsewhere. It's a lot of pain and there is the very real possibility of death.

titans: Thanks sisi-kii

And atmc - I understand what u meant, but I've really hardened myself
Towards emotions from women- how I managed 2b like dis is beyond me
I'm nt willing 2 fight 4 her anymore, I've given up totally on this love issue
Its not worth d pain it goes with
Dats my 2cent


@moremi- what я u talkin about,dat thread was clearly not for me - biko

Then he's your twin brother! Both of you come across as serious mugus!

Sagamite: person, who told you I need a job in McDonald's? Is that sucha big dream in your world?

Louder! The neighbors can't hear your little puppy barks!

Sisi_Kill: Don't tu my ashiri naa

Truth is I don't have job oh but I think that's about to change. . . I just came across the thread where my uncle Mac was getting people job and I'm about to send my resume. . .by God's grace, if I get one y'all won't see my tail light in this section.

Hey, good luck with the search! You're a talented writer; I am not sure that you NEED a job! Besides, Uncle Mac can't find you a job in the US (of course, you are based in the US, I can tell from your writing). Just write us another Purple Hibiscus, and you're on your way to stardom and riches! Chimanda must have a few million dollars in the bank by now.

^^^^ All this novel, for fcking what? Una no get job, Aunty Sisi Kill? Good story-telling though (I am going to guess you are some kind of writer). Let us know when you publish a novel (I'll buy it if it's good as the latest Toni Morrison book I started last night).

Just what I wanted. These two puppies are now barking at me!

coogar: if it stinks of mediocrity, why don't you just check out
other posts in the family section where you are the resident
expert in calculating women's menstrual period.

ignorant asshat!

When last did you get laid? You sound mad bitter and jealous because I can command a harem to serve my needs with a blink of an eye. It's not my fault that you're ugly and have zero charm.

Sagamite: You are a cretin!

Which Community College produced this foool?

A McDonald's counter is not called a desk. Mugu!

Hahaha! Keeping snapping at my heels. Like I told you earlier, dream bigger; reach further and harder. When you've accomplished something besides being a low-level pencil pusher at MBB, come talk to me and I might give you a job.

titans: Another decison I've made is never 2 date girls who's family can't afford 3 square meals

Your story sounds strangely similar to this guy's:

https://www.nairaland.com/869488/after-affair

Didn't you come here to moan about a woman who cheated on you while you were getting your master's a while back? Why did you change your screen name? So you can get fresh, new sympathy? You still haven't gotten over her after all these months! If you're who I think you are, then you've got mental problems. Let this woman go! Bloody stalker!

coogar: i would kill myself if you are half as smart as my index finger.
but i am still alive cos you are not!

ranting like a kid suffering from photosensitive epilepsy does not
epitomise brilliance. you are a herb, a dirty one if i may add.

run back to that sty you crawled out from and lemme see road.
we are talking about intellectuals and this one is signalling.....arrant nonsense!

Too bad everything about your posts stinks of mediocrity. I am not impressed. Try harder. Let me know when you've graduated from the best Europe has to offer (not that people think very highly of Oxbridge these days) and have proved yourself in the marketplace. Until then, keep collecting e-trophies from your NL championships! I'll keep having a good laugh at your jokes.

Sagamite: You are itching for some intellectual thumping, aint ya?

How much has internet "intellectual" arguments put in your malnourished NatWest account lately? I am still waiting on your tattered CV to cross my desk.

coogar: if you listen and learn, you would gain more knowledge on this discussion than your usual ad hominem sniping.

Hahaha! You've got nothing to teach me because you're not particularly bright (that's just the honest truth). If I wanted to "gain knowledge", I would consult a book written by an actual pro, read the Nytimes or WSJ, or use Google.

This argument is just a blathering ego-fest especially because your sparring partner, Sagamumu, has at least double your wit and intelligence (and that's not saying very much). It's not even a fair debate anymore.

PS - My ad hominem sniping serves its purpose well: keeping me (and a lot of other people) well entertained. Thanks for noticing.

titans: Ronkebp - I now totally understand what you mean..
And completely see things from your point of view especially
As she's fully aware of d damage she's done even in my absence,
Anyway what I expected was no matter what she should have still apologized
No harm in trying esp when she was once that family's favourite...
If she really cares about me den she wudnt av seen anytin wrong with apologizin,

@rockafella and dayokanu
Thanks 4 both advices but I'm serious fed up wit anytin relationship esp as d new gurl
In question isn't even showin any seriousness - well all d same, I need a vacation

Bros, let it go! She's gone and never coming back! She won't be apologizing either! Life is not fair but it's still your job to get back up on your feet and face life like a man! Haba!

tpia@:
e don do nah.


why resurrecting these threads abi another thing dey there.

Didn't even look at the date. One month isn't too old! I have seen resurrected 5-yr old threads!

cityofsin: Well I will make it brief and just give general information, but you can check their respective websites to know what exactly they do and read profiles of their employees. They usually have all employees on their website so you can get an idea of their background.

There arent too many PE firms in Lagos but some of the more prominent PE firms are Actis, ACA, ECP, Aueros, The Carlyle group and one or two others. ACA is the oldest and probably the best as far as performance goes but others are doing well too. As far as getting in, as previously mentioned, they usually hire 1 or 2 people each year and usually people who have 2 years investment banking experience (preferrably within M&A). The reason they do this is because these PE firms are very small, employee number wise, maybe 10 - 20 employees with about half of that the investment team, so they do not have the time to train people to model. Im sure you know, but most of what you will be doing is modelling and valuation and ibanking experience is key for that. Again, the only reason foreign candidates are preferred is because they usually have more merger experience than their local peers as mergers are not really prominent in Nigeria. After two years of working at the junior level, you are advised to get a top MBA to move up the chain.

Pay is between 450k naira (smaller PE firms like Aureos) all the way to 1million+(bigger firms like ECP). You will mostly be valuing different companies and taking care of the nitty gritty of getting a deal done (due diligence, correspondence with lawyers/accountants etc). As far as the interview process, it is extremely tough. You will be grilled a lot on valuation and in most cases will take valuation tests (some take home, some done on site). This is the most important aspect of the interview. Other parts will be grilling on your knowledge on the economy and general business knowledge and behavioural type questions (least important)

All these points are pretty uniform across all the PE firms.

If you dont mind me asking, what is your background and where are you trying to be?

Generally spot-on info. Although I disagree that ACA is the best (but then, I don't have any inside info on ACA's track record so I might be wrong). Most PE shops in Lagos have made a string of pretty bad/underperforming investments (e.g. Notore, Seven Energy etc). Now a bunch of them are (or were) clamoring to recapitalize Union Bank and get-in on the Abuja real estate gold rush. They'll probably get burned (this is just a hunch from conversations with people on the ground). All this capital chasing around a few opportunities is just a recipe for bad investments.

PS - I am pretty sure I know who you are. The world is too small.

This argument is neither useful nor entertaining. Abeg, take your gidigbo play to the politics section where people argue just to fill-up Internet space.

Your "girl" needs to make up her mind! Are you ready to marry her? Have you told her this? If yes, then ask her to make-up her mind. If she doesn't choose you, then she doesn't love you and you're better off without her. Marriage is a serious agreement between two grown adults!

One-sided marriages are unhappy marriages. I wish the lady good luck! With enough hard work, "sacrifice", sexy dressing and weight-loss, maybe her husband will stop loving his ex and love her instead.

Liar, liar! I know for a fact that Aganga has already started hunting for bribes from potential international investors! His Goldman pedigree is a bloody front for the business-as-usual of looting the Nigerian treasury or collecting fat bribes!

My baby brother has had his own phone in Nigeria since he was 9/10 yrs old! But then, he's a spoilt brat (and has always been in boarding school) so I can't exactly use him as a standard for most Nigerian kids. My mum wanted him to have a phone for emergencies (but the few times I have been there when he called, it was to ask for more money or just to say hello). They (mum and son) are both very happy with the arrangement (the school has seized his phone twice but my Mum keeps buying him a new one). Mothers mostly do it for a false sense of peace-of-mind. It's little money to pay to calm the nerves!

dayokanu: Op,

No girl would like to see her man acting like a wussy all those text back and front would give her the impression your life would fold because of her. Despite that you are outside the country and you should have stepped up you are now sobbing, begging even sending text and the girl come dey act up.

I know you might be an affectionate guy but you need to harden up, Where do you live? I can introduce you one chic mary jane. Thats the first step. Weed up and get drunk big time when you are high, You would forget her.

And in the future dont act all that sissy to a girl, It would irritate them and she would think you are a kid . Girls dont like guys who wear their emotions on their sleeves

This second-round of advice is bad! Lighting up trees can have the exact opposite effect; make him start acting all emotional and st[i]u[/i]pid. I know from experience that smoking trees has different effects on different people.

Tgirl4real: No. Its the thread they post you get to see. And it will only appear in your updated topics.




Snooping ko. . .who get tym to dey snoop
U've forgotten your thread about finding a gal to take home to mama

Oh... still looking (actually, not really). I have ~5yrs before I become an official prayer point! Plan to enjoy bachelorhood while it lasts.