A 37 years old lady chatted with me 2 weeks ago, let's call her Ada. Ada came to me and complained that her husband's best friend from childhood who works in the same office with her husband and earns the same amount of salary saved up money, bought his wife a car and they went to Maldives for her 40th birthday.
Ada said she suspects her husband was cheating on her and he must have been giving money to another woman that is why he's always broke. She wanted me to post it on my wall so that people will "advice her" on action to take to catch her husband. Because I do not post Junks on my wall, I started asking her some questions.
We did a messenger call. After much questioning and running back to back analysis without prejudice, we discovered somethings.
Read carefully.
Ada's husband's childhood friend's wife works with a travel agency while Ada sells beads, zips and other tailoring items.
Childhood friend has 2 children. Twin boys of 17 who just entered university. Ada has 5 kids age 2, 5, 8, 11 and 13.
Childhood friend is the last child out of 3 children, but Ada's husband is the 2nd born but first son out of 6 children.
Childhood friend has no father and mother again, but Ada's husband has a mother but no father,
Mrs Childhood friend's parents are retired Judges, but Ada's parents are in the village.
Mrs Childhood friend has just a younger brother who is an Air force officer and married with 2 kids, Ada has 3 younger siblings who are still struggling.
So if Ada's husband earns 300k,
He would pay the school fees of 5 children of which two are toddlers, send money to his mother, sort out one or two bills for some siblings,
While Childhood friend would just pay for 2 children school fees, he has no younger siblings to cater for, his wife's parents are well taken care off, he has no parents to send money to.
Mrs Childhood friend with her knowledge with the travel agency she works with knows when to get good ticket prices, she knows when they get bonus, she knows those countries that offer Visa on Arival like Rwanda, Maldives, Uganda and the Rest. She has no younger siblings to care for so she can save up her salary or commission to grab some last minute flight deals.
But Ada is just a zip and buttons seller, if she sells, she would send money to her siblings.
Both men work and earn the same, but their responsibilities are different... way way different.
By the time I highlighted these to her, she felt guilty. I made sure she sees these because she was the one answering the questions.
Sometimes, before you pressure yourself over someone else's achievements, think of the responsibilities you have.
You might earn more than a person who has a flashy car and lives in a good apartment, but you have more responsibilities than that person.
Someone earning 40k might be living your dream life and traveling round the world, but you who is earning 150k would think your village people have tied your destiny.
People would wonder why you don't dress well,
They would mock you that you don't know how to save money or plan your life like them,
They will say upon all your money you can't afford iphone 13 or human hair or nice suits.
Check the bills you have to pay,
Check the things that eat your money and praise yourself. It's not everyone that even has the luxury of saving.
Some of us, as the money comes, if we don't spend it on ourself and eat bole and fish, our phone will ring and one person is asking for 5k.
You'll be paid 50k and in 30 minutes you're seeing something that resembles 2k in your account.
Some of you are actually doing better than you know, but you're so busy looking at other peoples farms and counting their achievements that you cannot see yours.
It is good to be ambitious and wishful, comparison, if not properly handled, can lead to unhappiness.
Think.

ganasa:


You for give me the position na

It was long ago...2016 sa.

Family.

I left my best paying job I ever have for my Family and today I'm still living fine

OldNairalander:
If White money win I will give #5k give away to 10 nairalanders.
Sponsored by a friend though

We are #teamwhitemoney.

Quote me if I'm lucky to be among the beneficiaries

Village people still dey follow them

Is anything wrong to learn the two?

Yeye man

What about the Son?

That state is finished

The headlines supposed be "Aunty Bobrisky apologies to his friend Tonto Dikeh"

It will end in premium tears

The oyinbo man at the back con dey look like mumu

Tonight eviction is fake joor

I stay in Agege Lagos during the week and Ijoko Ogun state on weekends

In Agege, we have light for like 15hrs atleast on a daily basis

In Ijoko like 13hrs but since Friday we never see light which is as a result of rain I think the light don spoil .

Anyway, generally the power has improved.

Is only in Africa we see Political post as Big deal,Your mum supposed to be a servant not a Master that need to be proud of.

I still like you for not disappoint your family in that house sa.

erumena:


Pray you do not meet some type of Bosses, then you will know that you can never please everyone all the time!!!

Bro forget, u will like me by force if u work with me, see i demand for company policies and SOP immediately i receive my employment letter and i follow all process , i stay humble and i dont fight anyone, if i know im not ok with situation of things at my work place i will humbly ask for what i want and if the company cant dance to my tune then i resign and i will give my reasons. life is not hard bro and i always let them know that not all Job seekers are hungry

Thats why is always good to leave anywhere you work with good record, always ensure to write your resignation letter and put reason why are leaving so it can be used as reference in future.

when I wanted to get another job in 2014 after resigning from my first company of 5years, the interviewers knew my direct boss and they put call on him immediately and it was on speaker, The man just tell them ''Employ him he has no problem and i'm very sure you will not have problem with him but make sure you treat him well because he's an asset . Thank you'' I just smiled and the interview ended thats how i got my Job.

This is my 3rd place of work since i start my career in 2009 and i have not received query,warning letter or sack letter before not that im perfect but i always careful and straightforward.

OP, i pray you find a better one

Reflect on this post from a friend

Marriage has three stages. The first stage is called honeymoon and lasts about two years. This stage is very sweet, nice, and romantic. This is where you find names like honey, sweetheart, baby, and so on.


In this stage, everything is perfect. This is a stage where a man returns home and dumps his socks and shoes anywhere but in the morning, he will wake up and find them placed where they're supposed to be. This is where madam doesn't go to bed until you return home. She sits in the living room and receives all the mosquito bites waiting for you till you return, takes a shower, and enjoys supper. Even if you return at midnight, you find her waiting for you.


This first stage is beautiful with a lot of tolerance. This is a stage where at night while in bed, you release very toxic gas and your spouse instead apologizes. Remember, you have gassed but again he tells you, "Sorry darling, it's okay." This is unbelievable. Madam has gassed but to you, it's okay. Oh my God, this is sweet. Everything is just merry-making during this stage. In conclusion, enjoy this stage as much as we can.


The second stage lasts for ten years! This is where the honeymoon is over. This stage is red hot. During this stage, perhaps financial challenges have come in. You have given birth and the children are also disturbing you. Sometimes you are yet to give birth but really want to and the pressure on you is mounting from all corners. Landlords have become Landlords. There is a loss of employment. Things are just tight.


Life is hard in this second stage. The man who used to return home early now returns very late. Sometimes he doesn't even return home. There are suspicions of infidelity and cheating. You don't trust each other. You feel your spouse is cheating, and in fact, he or she is cheating. When you return home and leave your shoes outside, in the morning, you find them where you left them. Things are hot here.
This is a stage where at night, you release toxic gas and your partner asks what you ate during supper time yet you ate the same meals. He can even leave the bed and spend the night in the sitting room simply because you gassed. Imagine only gassing.


The second stage is hot. There are fights; spiritual, physical, and in all aspects. This is the stage where you reach the point of considering separating. Each spouse shows his or her true colors in this stage. A night dancer switches on the reggae mixes the music, and punches the baseline. Your relatives taste the greedy side of your wife.


Those who persevere and overcome this stage end up keeping their marriage till death does them part. However, very many hang up the towel in this stage. They quit. In conclusion, Those who are in this stage should fight a little longer, not hang up the towel. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Just a little longer and you are done with this heat.


Finally, there's the last stage. This comes after the ten red hot years. This last stage is lukewarm. It's neither cold nor hot. You gas at large and no one applauds you or complains. You have seen enough of each other. You have known each other's true colors.
In this stage, whatever your partner does no longer surprises you. If she quarrels, you just say that is the nature of this woman. If he is still late out in the night, you don't even bother to call since you know he will return. If she doesn't serve you food and you feel hungry, you just go and serve food otherwise, hunger hits you for nothing


This stage is not for disturbing one another. There is a lot of calmness and commands are few. This is where if you are watching TV with her in the sitting room and you feel thirsty, you don't send her to bring you drinking water but only wait when she's moving in the direction where there is water and you tell her if she is coming back, she can come along with some water. If she asks you to repeat what you just said, you have to pretend like you didn't say anything. All of a sudden, she shocks you and returns with drinking water. There is mutual respect in this stage. In conclusion, Those in this stage should just work for eternity.

Congratulation to those who are in this stage for, they have come from far.
Amen and amen
Have a wonderful reflection on this post.
This can be related to new couple-to-be, less than ten years marriage & finally btw 20 - 80 years of marriage
Wishing you a blessed night.

Imagine this happened to President Buhari

Ade Tiger yellow pawpaw?

crackhaus:

No matter how you look at it, they had it so much better... Waayyy better.
Nothing depressing about it.

Yes they lived through the military era and saw firsthand what that was like, but it was still a better deal than what we have now.

Nigeria/Nigerians didn't have such a bad rep in the eyes of the world back then.

And who told you there were no jobs?

Just having a university degree guaranteed you a job without the need for man-know-man or bribing your way into federal agencies.
My dad with his University of Ibadan 2'2 degree didn't stay without work for up to 3 months after serving – got a really good job for that matter.

Nigerians could travel easier back then and even though the standard of living wasn't all that high, things were affordable in comparison.
Today, the standard of living is low (even lower if we're being honest), yet commodities aren't that affordable.

The internet age, satellite TV, and advent of mobile devices which ushered in the era of remote jobs and internet-based sources of income, also came with the introduction of make-believe lifestyles from watching reality shows like MTV cribs, KUWTK, etc...
Young Nigerians became obsessed with living wealthy lifestyles and acquiring expensive things (even when unnecessary).

Please there's no comparison to be made...

Older Nigerians definitely had a much better Nigeria than we do now. It wasn't heaven then, but it still wasn't as hellish as it is now.
People actually lived in Nigeria back then, but what people are doing now is surviving – there's a big difference.

I can't even take my car to a random mechanic to fix for me because they will bill me like a yahoo boy.
Internet fraudsters who don't mind paying whatever price they're told to pay for anything, have succeeded in contributing to inflation.

All those overpriced estates in places like Lekki built on top of reclaimed land that is just hoping/praying the sea doesn't develop mood swing, do you think if they were not seeing people to buy them, they won't drop the prices?

My brother, the overall mentality of Nigerians is very different now from what it was then.

Although it's not that the country was European-standard for older Nigerians back in the day, but contentment seemed to be more prevalent as people were okay with just having the basics/having just what was necessary.

I have a lot more I could type on this topic, but I've exceeded my social media allocated time for today.

you are right but dont forget the Older generation were Contented unlike our generation that want to be rich by all means , our heart of desperation makes thing harder for us

Read your employment letter if it's stated but if not then u walk out of the company or u sue them

if you dont see future in your present job u can quit

THT

They have started again as if food of $1 can belleful dem in the US

Ayam the challenge in my place of work because if not I ought to have resigned before now

KC031:
That's how we do it in the east...

Una no get choice than to welcome him