₦airaland Forum

*I Don't even know why we write exams because teachers always ask us, "do you understand, we say yes."*

Why can't they just believe us?

*Guys, sometimes God leave you to be broke so you can focus on one lady, because once you get small money, you won't allow anything wearing skirt to rest, small thing. All you know is "LETS CHILL, LETS CHILL".*
YOU BE FRIDGE?
���������?����������my phone is not with me oo�‍

```One Of The Easiest Way To Die Young
Is To Marry A Woman Who Helps You To Abandon Your Parents.```

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*I need answers to these questions pls*
1.The person that drew the maps of the world where was he standing?
2. The person who made money how much was he paid?
3. The person who started education who taught him?
4 The first person to have a degree who was his teacher?
if you don't know it, please feel free to ask another person.

olatunjiw4love@gmail.com

*My Junior in Secondary School now calls me 'My guy" This life errrrrr, nothing lasts forever.*

You cannot carry senior to Heaven.

We are living in generation where people in love are free to touch each other's private parts.But are not allowed to touch each other's phones because they are private

I will name my daughter "pregnant" so that when a guy stop her and say "Am John, and you?" she will reply "i Am pregnant".
case closed ���

*There is no privacy in this country anymore...*

How can I be pressing my phone in a Taxi and someone from behind will says *“Uncle scroll back, I did not see that girl’s picture well”*

When soldier punish u finish come release u make u dey go, u come climb ur bike come shout ""officer thunder fire u"" and ur bike no come gree start again.
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#It is finished.

Nigerian version of "make hay while the sun shines" is "iron your clothes immediately nepa brings light"����

I will like to swap my infinix note 5 to redmi note 5 or note7

*Before I date a girl now, I have to ask her the month in which she was born.*

How can we started dating today then you said tomorrow is your birthday.
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*Before I date a girl now, I have to ask her the month in which she was born.*

How can we started dating today then you said tomorrow is your birthday.

#LAUGHTER_COMPILATION_FREE
(1)Those who ar good at playstation pls
help! I am playing Fifa2017,Pls where do I
press when I want Suarez to bite
somebody?
--------------------------
(2)Anybody who uses
Cane, Hand or belt to
beat his or her child is
disobeying God.
The Bible actually
recommend ROD
--------------------------
(3)I just saw someone's
husband using his
wedding ring to open
beer for his side chick.
Oh Thunder where are you?
--------------------------
(4)Be happy my dear
sister, at least they left
you with a broken
heart.
Others were left with
kids
--------------------------
(5)If you can kiss a
woman with lipstick
very passionately,
naim be say, you fit
chop crayon
--------------------------
Quote: Dont blame anyone for criticizing
you, cause it what someone know that he
will say
--------------------------
(6)My Tailor just called me now that my
2018 Christmas clothes are ready. I am not
crying, sand enter my eyes!!
--------------------------
(7)"I started my business with 250naira" Are
these motivational speakers not mad ?
--------------------------
(My Dear sister, you see that selfie you
deleted because it’s ugly ?. That is your real
face
--------------------------
(9)All these Goats in my
area will be looking at
you as if they are
expecting you to greet
them first
--------------------------
(10)Please the driver that is driving Nigeria
should stop I want to come down...
--------------------------
(11)Boyfriend free mode Girlfriend free
mode Are we going to eat at you guys
wedding at all?
--------------------------
(12)That moment the girl you have been
crushing on surprisingly asks you "what's
are your hobbies dear" Me: I like reading
bible and receiving holy communion
--------------------------
(13)One Advantage of dating a fat babe is
cold can never catch u, she will hug u and
the cold will vanish.
(%) Expect a Rap tonight 8:30 (Thanks for
reading)
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Thanks my wonderful people, depression is not good for your handsome and beautiful face so oya laugh out depression everyday out of your life.

No one is more respectful than a person who wants to borrow money from u…
He can even greet ur dog ….. He would be like:
Hello bingo� how are u

*Instead of me to watch Nollywood movies, I rather pick stones from the local rice or beans.*

How on this earth will a ghost will be wearing arsenal Jersey.
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Wearing Cheap clothes doesn't mean you're
broke: Remember you have a "Family To
Feed" Not "A Community To Impress"�

Wife sent a message to her husband : Don’t forget to buy vegetables on your way back from office, and Priscilla say hi to you .

Husband : Who is Priscilla ?

Wife : Nobody, I was just making sure that you read my message

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Twist in the tale.....

Husband : But I'm with Priscilla right now , so which Priscilla are you talking about?

Wife : Where are you....?���

Husband: Near the vegetable market�

Wife : Wait I'm coming there right now ...!

After 10 minutes she texts her husband "Where are you"?

Husband:"I'm at office. Now that u'r at the market, buy whatever vegetables you need...
�

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A man can be in UK and not OK, he can live in US and still be USELESS. All good things come from ABOVE not ABROAD

*My dear always make yourself happy no matter what, if you can't afford money for champagne buy a COKE and SHAKE it well, open it, Ego pop.*

Thank me later.
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Its the 23rd day in the month of May 2019.

No matter the oppositions,

No matter the hindrances,

No matter the obstacles,

No matter the road blocks,

No matter the gang ups,

No matter the ambush, against you by the wicked ones,

You will surely get to the top,

You will surely make it,

You will surely breakthrough,

You will surely have your way,

You will surely be promoted,

You will surely be a success,

You will surely prosper,

You will surely break forth,

You will surely manifest your divine destiny.

As many that have joined hands together to make you the very opposite of your destiny,

The Lord shall locate them with His wrath and they shall all die miserable death IJMN.

Powers that use to strike and attack you anytime good things are about coming your way shall be eradicated this day.

What you wished for shall come to pass,

What you desire shall manifest,

What you pray for shall receive instant answer and testimonies in an uncommon way shall end it all.

Total number of votes cast during Britain Got talent 2017 = 6.2million votes

Total number of votes cast during American got talent 2017 = 52.1million votes. American population is twice Nigerian population.

Mind you, most of the votes cast on either Britain or American got talent are absolutely free because you can vote on their websites & on the Apps without paying a dime.

Total number of votes cast during “Big Brother Nigeria” 2018 = 170million votes @ N30 per sms for a show that contributes absolutely nothing to their lives. Going by the figures, it will take America & Britain combined three & half years to organise a talent show to catch up with Nigeria.

It is neither a talent show or life enhancing or promoting show. A show where two adults are kept in a cage to freely give & take sex on National Television, while the organisers make more money from the youths.

If INEC organises general election this weekend and ask Nigerian youths to vote on their mobile phones @ N10 per SMS to elect leaders that will shape their futures & the country, they will ask Nigerian Government to credit their accounts 1st before they will agree to vote in that magnitude.

“Wasted Generation” ~ Prof. Wole Soyinka called them.

“A generation that play too much, sleep too much and engage in idle chatter and gossip" ~ Chief Obafemi Awolowo foresaw

“A generation of illiterate graduates” ~ Atiku Abubakar called them in 2016

A generation that are constantly not concerned about the deteriorating conditions of their senses & not bothered about their own future~ Osquare78 knows them.

“Idle youths who sit and do nothing, but expecting everything from govt free” ~Pre. Buhari surmised about them

We all must be wary of this generation.... they are the larger chunk of Nigerian population.

It is pathetic. 170 Million votes Multiplied by N30 = N 5.1 billion and the winner got N25 million plus an SUV worth N12 million a trip and electronics. Let us even assume that sms votes is 85 million, that will be N2.55 billion. So so sad...

If your kid or anyone you know did JAMB, let them send RESULT to 55019 from the phone number they used in registering for the exam. Result will be sent almost instantly. Costs N50.

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Teacher: If you have #20,000 and your girlfriend asks for #10,000 and your ex girlfriend asks for #5,000. How much will you be still left with.
Student: I will be still having my #20,000 and 2 unread messages


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Don’t stress over things you can’t control. Hand it over to the Almighty. There’s no need to spend sleepless nights thinking about your problems. It’ll get you nowhere. He can easily take care of things if only you’d trust Him. He’s the only One who can turn your life around.

An Igbo man will have an accident, wake up in an hospital, sees his family members and says
This one way all of you una dey here. Who dey shop����