₦airaland Forum

On my wedding day if you come late you will kneel outside!!!!! I hate nonsense ☹☹☹☹�������

When people hurt you, think of them like a sand paper. They may scratch and hurt you but in the end, you end up polished & they end up useless.

African herbalist can capture your destiny and put it inside a bottle... They can even send thunder from Nigeria to America to stike you..but just common bet prediction they cant do☹☹

CONTENTMENT:

If you are looking for wealth, somebody is looking for health.

If you are looking for health, somebody just died.

If you are looking for power, somebody has acquired and used it and now is powerless.

Each time you drive a fancy car, somebody, somewhere is dying in a car crash.

Each time a new mansion springs from the earth, a new grave is dug below the earth.

Each time you throw away a morsel, somewhere, somebody is searching for a morsel to survive.

Each time you throw food into dustbin, someone is looking for remnant to eat.

Each time you ask God to promote or change your present situation, someone is praying to get to your present situation.

For each smile on the planet, there's a drop of tear in another place on the planet.

For each celebration of childbirth, there are tears of burial.

Each time you urinate or drink water, remember someone is using pipe for same purpose.

The joy of life lies in knowing your limitations and your final and inevitable destination.

May you be blessed with contentment and may you be guided rightly.

*Quote of the day*
Your life is in your hands, so be wise enough to know when to open your palm to opportunities and close it from those that wish to slap life off your hands.

#BeWise&Careful

What will you do
That moment when you pay your house rent through mobile phone app,and after 15minutes you receive an MTN alert saying: �
"Dear customer, thank you for subscribing to our 15 years 980,000GB for N650,000. Your data will expire on 12/08/2031"
Thanks for choosing MTN.

Wedding in America ��:
Invited: 100
Present at the church: 80
Present at the reception: 70
Gifts: 65
Missing objects: 0

Wedding in England:��
Invited : 50
Present at the church: 50
Present at the reception: 48
Gifts: 48
Objects missing : 0

Marriage in Nigeria
Invited: 500
Present at the church: 38
Present at the reception: 1078
Gifts: 18
Envelopes 70
Delivered dishes: 1092
Missing items:
20 phones
300 spoons
10 cake knives
1 photographer's camera missing
cans of beer
bottles of wine & whisky
kidnapping of 2 of the guests
girlfriend missing gone with other guest
boyfriend looking for gf
Gf looking for her boyfriend
remaining gifts missing
fighting outside
spoons missing
50 chairs broken
5 tables broken
3 decoration curtains missing������

complete the rest of missing objects ��

*You've dated 15 boys and broke up with all of them because they don't understand you.*

My sister are you Further Mathematics?

*REASONS TO READ BOOKS*

1. Books help you to feel more confident.

2. Books help you to travel around the world in the cheapest way.

3. Books develop your personality.

4. Books provide food for thought.

5. Books make you laugh and think.

6. Books draw you towards perfection.

7. Books stimulate creativity.

8. Books bring out writing talent.

9. Books help you in communicating.

10. Books clear your vision.

11. Books satisfy your curiosity.

12. Books help you make better choices.

13. Books help you build literary talent.

14. Books do not require any special device to teach.

15. Books increase your attention span.

16. Books are fruitful pastime.

17. Books can be used anytime, anywhere.

18. Books provide entertainment, when others fail.

19. Books make you powerful.

20. Books help you know the 'Whys' and 'Hows' of everything.

21. Books help you to create and spread fun.

22. Books help you travel across time intelligently.

23. Books keep you updated with facts and figures.

24. Books spread love, affection and knowledge.

25. Books make the best of friends.

26. Books take you to intellectual environment.

27. Books help you feel the world around you.

28. Books entertain your mind.

29. Books broaden your horizon.

30. Books bring Nature to your doorstep.

31. Books bring about a 'personality change'.

32. Books increase comprehension.

33. Books do not require company.

34. Books are stress-busters.

35. Books develop a sense of belonging to people around you.

36. Books provide mental and physical relaxation.

37. Books act as a communication tool.

38. Books are intellectually satisfying activity.

39. Books provide spiritual experience.

40. Books provide emotional strength.

41. Books build your self-esteem.

42. Books help and encourage your imagination to soar.

43. Books make you smarter and wiser.

44. Books help you grow.

45. Books take you to a 'world of dreams'.

46. Books can change your life and vision.

47. Books help you in achieving 'life goals'.

48. Books develop wonderful experience.

49. Books transform lives.

50. Books inspire, books motivate, books build nations.

_I challenge you to start reading books and not storing them_

*HIDDEN FACTS*

Do you know that not all marriages start with *'will you marry me'?*
Some start with am pregnant.
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One of the greatest lessons of life could be found in the Champions League Match between Liverpool and Barcelona of yesterday.

After the first leg, majority of people and football pundits (myself inclusive) easily predicted that Liverpool could win the second leg but would not qualify to the final, but the world and football is always full of surprises and that was what the world witnessed yesterday.

*Five Bitter Lessons from the Match*

1). No matter the odd that is staked against you, *never give up*.
Ask Salah why did he put on a shirt with the inscription *"Never Give Up"* even when his team was down by 3 goals from first leg, yet he went to the stadium with faith and hope.

2). Pride goes before a fall, ask Messi who had a clear chance to score to make it one-one but decided to entertain the crowd by dribbling away from goal, thereby losing the one glorious chance that would have been vital to their survival.

3) Never underrate your opponent, no matter how bruised he or she might have been. Barcelona believed that without Salah and Firmino, Liverpool do not have the required firepower to stage a surprise, but the remaining boys proved them wrong.

4). In the moment of battle, never attack half way or reserve your best for the opportune time as this might become a disaster to you.

5).The opinion of others don't count what counts is what you believe in. Liverpool believed that they can never walk alone, and they showed the world the stuff they are made off.
You see, life is never favourable to anyone, you just get to get up and tell yourself daily, I am gonna make it. Just as Aary Stark told the Woman of Light in the *_Game of Thrones_* when she was asked what would she tell the _god of death_, she replied *Not Today*. Liverpool told the world and those who wrote them off...NOT TODAY. so when failure comes knocking on your door reply like the Liverpool players and Aary Stark.. NOT TODAY.
You are formed for something great, so rise up and defeat whoever stands on your way

Pls it my dream to become a programmer just like u but I have no one to teach me
Please add me
08086843386

olatunjiw4love@gmail.com

African herbalist can capture your destiny and put it inside a bottle... They can even send thunder from Nigeria to America to stike you..but just common bet prediction they cant do☹☹

Apart from me, who else sees this warning
"Extra volume may damage your ears and make you deaf" and still press "ok"??����

*Stop blaming alcohol influence when you hit your wife. My brother why didn't the alcohol lead you to the army barracks to go slap a soldier?*

The drink will vamoose from your body.
�����������

*Any Man that Complains a Woman's Breast is too big for him, can Never handle Greatness.*
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Kikikikii����

If the brides parents keep dancing at the wedding party,
My brother, know that she has two children somewhere you dnt know

You don't have to have favour with everyone,you just need favour with the right one.A dozen people may not like you,but they can't stop you.God has the right people that will bring Opportunities,Favour and Promotion to you.Stay Blessed.

Answers please

By this time last year every lady needed assurance, what do you ladies need now?

god of Regina Daniel

*U will buy coil to kill African mosquitoes & they will smoke it like shisha, then come to ur ears and be singing "wetin u gain* �����......... Need more�

*If u want to bleach, bleach with sense, don't come and b looking like traffic light....*
*Green vein, Yellow face and Red neck*

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I cannot reject food in my own house because am angry with my wife. The wife is mine, the food is mine and the anger is mine. What I chose to do with them is up to me. I will transfer the anger to the food and eat that food angrily.

One Ghana lady asked me... Why do Nigerians like saying "sorry" before asking a question.
Like 'sorry' please what's the time??.... 'sorry' is this the line??
I answered her, every body in this country is angry......
So u have to apologise for their anger in advance bfor making an enquiry �����

It's only in Africa, immediately you say hi to a girl, Boom! her phone screen will break, her data will finish and if you mistakenly say "I love you" my brother you become her father automatically.���

That awkward moment when your crush calls you to help her start Gen, and it refuses to start, Naija guys will automatically turn to engineers......

Bro but why na ��������

I mistakely ask my crush what's her favourite animal.
And she answered roasted 'chicken".....lemme come and be going....

08104202801 MTN

When u send a funny video to ur friend at 8.04 and he replies LMAO at 8.05 but the video is a 6mins video ��
Just Know that your friend didn't even download the video���

*Where are the English Gurus??*
....
Let’s learn from ourselves today.
Among many foods beans can be prepared with, Akara and Moi-Moi still remains the most common.
In school, we were taught that the English name for “Akara” is bean cake but dem no dey mention the English name for “Moi-Moi“.

The question of the day is
If “Akara” Means Bean Cake In English *What Is The English Name For “Moi-Moi”?*
Let’see who sabi English pass*

Wen your battery is low, your phone reads "connect your charger" as if dia is light.. The right thing should be:: "Una get light ??..if yes, connect your charger"��
�☺��

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
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