₦airaland Forum

Workch:
nope, it's not about your daughter. It's about both of them.
If your daughter husband is not cool with it, your daughter got to understand. No be your daughter marry him, na him marry your Daughter.

a husband need to explain this issue to his wife BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY she needs to understand it. there is absolutely nothing wrong with a parent living close by to come over and spend day with daughter rather than having be home alone all day long, NADA!!!!

It's very okay to have the conversation with the wife and the wife needs to understand. If the wife doesn't understand then the house will be on fire. There's nothing wrong if mama comes once a month so she can give them breathing space to start a home and run it

pls how can such discussion take place? what kind of yeye husband would tell his wife to stay home by herself all day long and not have the company of her mother, simply because husband doesnt want it? is husband not at work everyday? should wifey be alone because of some yeye state of mind of the husband? what so wrong if mother keeps daughter company during the day and they go to market together etc? i dont get it.

Workch:
Mama should not be coming everyday. Mama should know that.
Maybe once in a while. Some People like privacy.

For me, I wouldn't have been a big deal depending on how close I am to mama, but if I don't really fancy mama. I will call my wife and make her understand why privacy is very important in a marriage. I won't even tell her in such a way that I don't want mama to be coming around.

Everything na wisdom

at last someone making some sense in this discussion!!!!
as a parent, if my daughter has no problem with mama coming over and/or spending all day with her mother to go to market, then mama will come over as much as she desire (and if i am jobless then i will come over too)...now if husband has a problem with parents visiting, he will tell his wife and SHE will tell us to back off (which any sane parents would certainly do while checking them from afar). a husband coming to tell me to back off while my daughter is cool with me coming over, is a RED FLAG right there.

Rayban25:
Oga you you dony try to confirm if I'm a good man by just showing up at my house unannounced and unconsented...its still wrong

If the mother wants to come over or stay for some days I have the right to know before hand then she can come and sleep over or the likes...you sound somehow defending this

so what you are saying is that.... while daughter is home alone, ALL DAY LONG, and her mother lives very close by, she has no right to call her mother to come over and/or to go to the market everyday (while her husband is at work all day)....and therefore they should call husband at work to let him know that wifey will spend the day with her mother?!?!?!

abeg, make the above in bold make sense to me (as if i was a 5yr old)!!!

vikstandon:
Baba, if her presence is isolating me from accessing my wife. She gat to quit.

so you no get job to do all day long than being home with wifey, while she is home with her mama, going to markets together etc?!?!
if thats the case then no wonder you have a problem with your in laws intruding on your privacy....because i would be the 1st one as her father to ask you :" YOU DONT GET JOB YET WANT TO MARRY MY DAUGHTER??!?!

Rayban25:
What are you even saying? @bolded?
If they didnt trust the man why did they give him their daughter to marry? A mother in law coming to your house every 3 eke Market days is invasion of privacy..it is my house..that you're her mother dosent mean you should be coming anyhow to my teritorry

SmartyPants:
Would you give your child out to someone you can't trust? Once you've made the decision to give your child out, you can't project your insecurities on their marriage. That fear is fo you to deal with on your own.

PROPEACE:
If they did not trust him, they shouldn't have given him their daughter!

Workch:
nope, as a parent, you need to be sure that your daughter is in good hands before you give her pit to marry. After marriage, let her be

Workch:
you are spewing trash.
You cannot badge into your daughter's home whenever you like.

pek:
This is nonsense. Either you didn't read what he wrote or you read with biased mind. The bolded is trash. If the parents didn't want their daughter to leave their house, they won't have married her out

Marliz:
.Why allow your daughter marry a man that you did not trust?

Ingocof:
Why giving out your daughter to a man you can not trust or guarantee the safety of your daughter? That is irresponsibility, so what was her reason for approving the union in the first place?

234GT:
MrsBrownJay, I dont understand you at all. If you can't entrust your daughter to any man, then please marry your daughter by yourself. If you are giving her out in marriage to another man different from yourself, you have to trust the man and leave the young couple.
What will their home look like if the man's mum keeps coming there too everyday??

i trust him to be my daughter's chosen one, i wont trust him to be a good husband (SIL) until they start living together and he becomes a responsible husband. just because they got married, does NOT mean this man is a good husband, a good father or a caring man. this will have to be confirmed as they start living together. many people get married to people they never knew before. you only meet your true spouse AFTER marriage, not before. but hey, if you think that ABUSIVE HUSBAND is written on people's forehead then so many unfortunate people wouldnt have died at the hands of their abusive husband/wives. lets be real!

vikstandon:
Everyday check up! Is the daughter a baby.
Or she no trust the man wey em give the daughter to.
Make Parents dey behave!

linearity:
I don’t think the OP is against the mother Inlaw checking on her daughter….but haba! to be coming there everyday or every other day is beyond checking.
If I have a friend that is coming to my house to check on me everyday I would tell them to back off as well.

hisgrace090:
So you welcome someone checking you every day by day?

Workch:
he has a right to his privacy, however he went about it wrongly.
He should have just have that conversation with her daughter without the woman knowing anything about it. Wisdom, he lacks wisdom.
He has started a very big heat that will never quench

as i said earlier.... as much as it is a bit excessive you need to open your mind.... so mama that lives close by shouldnt come and spend the day with daughter that is home alone all day (and go to market together etc)? the same mama that will probably come and stay with you for months when you guys have your 1st children (in order to show you how to properly care for a newborn) na that mama you want to look down upon today?!

blacksam01:
in the last 2 month in my quest to get a wife... I encountered 7 single moms all working and beautiful...i was alarmed at the rate of the singlemomship..

many of them i deduced followed money of guyz and got stuck. For many also, it was supposed to b a good marriage but the guyz fell out of love.funny enough, all claimed to be properly married before....

so i ask, as this rising status continue in our society who among the male or female are reallyi fueling the Epidemic

they are BOTH TO BLAME.
- if there was NO WOMAN ready/willing to open their legs unprotected while not being married, then the above wouldnt happen.
- if there was NO MAN ready/willing to have unprotected sex while not being married, then the above wouldnt happen.

but then again, being a babymama/babydaddy isnt viewed as a bad thing today, thus why so many people would rather become one than get married. marriage is hard, babymama/daddy is EASY!!!

as i remember how i trashed my very 1st car (as a learner), i could never give my children a car worth more than $1.5K (as their 1st car), until they learn how to properly drive and subsequently trash the car down).

i guess different budget for different folks (the above kids next cars on their 18th bday will be a G-wagon)!

.

thesilentman:
Bro,her action is outright abuse of my tolerant nature.When we were hundreds of miles apart she never shew up once.And Offcourse,neither daughter nor mother herself complained of abuse of any kind.

if the above is your reason for not wanting your in law around then i am sorry to say that...its very flimsy, but as you are entitled to your own wishes in your own house, i will understand it, even though as i parent i couldnt care less about it. if/when you marry my daughter, you automatically marry into my own family, and i believe i can show up to see my pikin whenever i feel like it (so long as i dont show up at crazy late hours). i was thinking you were gonna talk about something so bad, so grave, yet the only thing you talk about is that you dont tolerate to see your in laws, bwaaaaaaaaaah!
BTW are you claiming that your mother in law cannot even come over when you are at work and daughter is home alone?!

ZIMDRILL:
1 abandon ? you are crazy then why did you allow her to marry than person ?
2 if you feel that you need to check on her everyday it means you didnt teach well in picking the right partner for herself

1) bro marriage is just a LOAN... and as much as my daughter is gonna live with her new husband, that in no way makes her no longer my daughter. is it? just because i allow them to get married, does NOT mean i have cleaned my hands on her matter. until i fully believe that she is safe and secure with that man, i will check up on her as much as needed. even if they live on the other side of the world.

2) you can never teach a new couple about the ups and downs of marriage life, they will have to learn on the go.... but i certainly do know that many yeye people (due to love) accept to be physically/emotionally abused or treated like dirt... not in my world! so until i feel safe/secure that this man will protect my daughter and take over MY position as her protector, i will continue to come over and check up on them once in a while. lets not pretend that we dont see in the news everyday married women dying at the hand of abusive husbands (and vice versa).

MY CHILDREN ARE MY LIFE INVESTMENT AND I WILL MAKE SURE THAT NOTHING GOES WRONG WITH THEM UNTIL THEY CAN FLOURISH AS PROPER HUMAN BEINGS.....what parents will invest so much on their children (and their future) and then just abandon them the minute they say "i do"?! does it even make sense to you?!

Edavi234:
And you missed the OP'S point and frustration. He is not against his mother-in-law coming to his house to see her daughter but the rate at which she is coming (frequency).
I am sad reading comments here.. so unintelligent but filled with emotions and Biase ( no deep thoughts)..
Read this your comment I just replied then go back to the main thread and read it again.

pls before quoting me, read ALL my contributions on this thread so i dont have to repeat myself.

difference between corporal punishment and ABUSE

taylor88:
I LOVE LESBIANISM
Where I get problem na penis to penis
I fit kill you for that one

you sir are a hypocrite....whether lesbo or homo, na the same madness!

234GT:
Then you should marry that your child and be with him forever. My baby is just 16 months old. I love him to pieces and I am always with him when I am not at work. However, I won't choke his marriage and I won't allow my wife do same. When the time comes, I have to leave him and his wife to live their life.

my job as a parent is to make sure that my child is safe/comfortable at all times....but hey, if after 20yrs of raising your child, you will abandon her with a total stranger, without making sure that she is ok in her new married life, then so be. to each their own.

ZIMDRILL:
fair enough thats you
some people dont like it

i can understand that, thus why i ask the above questions...

ZIMDRILL:
him can explain further but remember he said she visits nearly everyday

if i raised my child for +20yrs, fed, clothe, sheltered and educated her all this time... i think i have the right to see her even every hr if i wish to do so. if she just got married then i want to make sure that she is good in her new life. a parent visiting his child once a day is not wrong (maybe just a bit excessive), and unless the visit would hinder their r/ship, i dont see anything wrong here....thus the above question.

they havent rearranged his face well yet... he needs to look like the "twins" below:

as i always say:"THOU SHALL NOT DATE/MARRY INSANE PEOPLE; AND IF YOU FOOLISHLY DO, DONT TEMPT THE ANIMAL!"

ZIMDRILL:
remember its not about your and your exprience its about him, he has noticed regular visits and he is not happy about them

ok lets be OPEN MINDED here and pretend we were the parents, and ask the op:
- WHATS SO WRONG IN YOUR IN LAWS VISITING? WHAT PRIVACY INFRINGEMENT ARE YOU ON ABOUT? CAN YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC ABOUT HOW IT AFFECTS YOUR UNION?!
... because i dont see/understand it.

let her repay for everything that she broke OR stay in jail until she does. that will teach this she-diot a lesson.
as much as she has all the right to be upset about being cheated on, she had NO RIGHT to break his property.

BTW la click la Bendel state.

ZIMDRILL:
i beg to differ
New married people should left alone to find their own feet, in doing things and understanding each other, understanding each based on their character and behaviour not based on what you were taught. Every man and woman differ it is important to understand each other not based on what parents says but based on what you see and do to each other

Have you ever noticed that the 1st of years of marriage is power struggle, the guy want wife to cook like his mother and the wife wants hubby to behave like her father hence usaully its power struggle indirect

Parents should visit once in while

as much as you are right about the above, it certainly doesnt make any difference whether her parents came over or not.... unless you are trying to make her do something wrong. why would you be against her parents coming over, if you were doing something RIGHT. its not like the parents are gonna interfere in their marriage (unless you are abusing her etc), is it?

why is it suddenly so wrong if parents came over? i dont get it... so if your parents came over, your spouse wont understand/listen to you any longer? how?

the above message is the hook.... the minute you reply, thats when you will fall for this yeye scam (that regardless of what you think, you will have to pay them). if this thing worked then THESE PEOPLE WOULD DO IT THEMSELVES AND NOT LOOK FOR SUCKERS TO DO IT FOR THEM.

there are so many of these scams online...just walk away and block these callers.

thesilentman:
Haba my G you na redpiller na,you suppose understand...
It's the frequency that irritated me.

bro as a father, i completely understand why a person would do that.... they may not trust that their daughter is safe with/around you.

just make sure that they see/feel/believe that its all good at your home and that their daughter is safe.

jaeyking:
So when the woman was married was that how her husband's mother always came to check up on him

Learn to let go when your children are married, if your daughter is alone you could come

But when the husband is around try to give them privacy
Do you know how they express their love or bleeping

the above is irrelevant....as a parent, you wll let go when you know/feel/believe your child is in good hands... until then, you will often check up on them. its completely natural, whether that child or their partneir agrees with it or not. thats what parents are meant to do.

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town,she wouldnt quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or atleast every other day.I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday i summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house.Before she could reply,i told her,'learn to stay where you belong!I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.
This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

so you believe it is wrong for a parent to not trust you and check up on their daughters? there is no such thing as "intrusion of your privacy".... just because you marry someone, doesnt mean you got the right to stop parents from checking on their children.

what have you got to hide? why are you so afraid of parents coming to check up on their daughters? what so wrong in the act? what privacy are you even talking about? if these parents trusted you as a man and/or the wellbeing of their daughter, probably they wouldnt check on their daughter so often.

they could even wed a goat, and what happens in the US wouldnt surprise anyone any longer.

StrongAlphMale:
As soon as the mind has been corrupted, dude the Toto automatically becomes corrupted with lots of body count. Avoid such!

you are right....thus why i am saying that many virgins have already corrupted mind and therefore are USELESS... and whether they are virgins or not is irrelevant to the issue at hand.

- it is a waste of life to choose a virgin that is selling herself to the highest bidder;
- it is a waste of life to choose a virgin that is posting half naked pictures on social media every day;
- it is a waste life to choose a virgin that values MONEY more than CHARACTER

a virgin is irrelevant to a pure/happy marriage, as you stated

everyone has the right to decide what they want for their lives, and you as a human being need to decide whether you want to be with such woman or not. there is no right nor wrong in this issue... its just about YOU deciding if you want to be with such a woman. some will while others wont, to each their own misery in life!

i certainly can uderstand why a desperate to marry woman would have 10 different men on speed dial, ready to marry her, and keeping her options opened. her aim is MARRIAGE, not you nor any of these other donkeys... MARRIAGE IS HER ULTIMATE GOAL!

may i ask: so you mean to say that all these oloshoes you are talking about were good women when virgin, and the minute they had sex they became prostitute or what?!

if you believe that 99.9% of women are oloshoes, then the virgin ones are included in this equation, because its THEIR MIND THAT IS CORRUPTED; NOT THEIR TOTO. that you are the 1st one to mount her is irrelevant to her corrupted mind.

you were dating a good for nothing deceitful/disrespectful/unfaithful/untrustworthy wh0re...

pls bring that biatch back to the street where she belongs.

that same "new START nuclear arms treaty" that Russia suspended in august 2022?!

another fantastic mother...
where are all the yeye people who always claim that:"A MOTHER'S LOVE FOR HER CHILDREN IS BLA BLA BLA"

sadly, this is the type of corruption in the west that you are not supposed to hear about... CORRUTION IS EVERYWHERE!

the above is the same yeye French president who asked Kadhafi for help (€50m) for his presidential campaign, and when he was elected, joined the war against Libya/Kadhafi .

Adexgentle005:
Which SA is no better than Nigeria? Have you been to SA before? At least they enjoy good roads and other social amenities. We pray to have it here.

so because SA have good roads, its ok for these colonial master to have robbed SA of its natural resources?!
let me say it AGAIN: 70% of SA lands are owned by these colonial masters, majority of top companies in the country are owned by these colonial masters.

MasterJayJay:
Where do you live? Land of colonial masters or Nigeria?

irrelevant question... stick to the issue at hand.