₦airaland Forum

your 1st mistake is that you didnt let her know about how you felt about her, all this time
your 2nd mistake is to not get the HINT when she told you she had a boyfriend bla bla bla, and you were just hoping for crumbs (aka leftovers from that said BF).
your 3rd mistake is to allow her to move in with you, thinking that you will suddenly play husband and wife together

now you are friendzoned, living with someone who doesnt want you, and wonder how you got in such a miserable place. abeg tell her to move the fukc out since its obvious you invited her in for the WRONG REASONS!

dude was living in Paris all these years under a false identity and was caught and arrested in 2020... and is now awaiting trial for genocide at the Hague.

whose mama is this?!?! come see you mama and aunties o!

why waste valuable money to let that demon live for decades in jail?!??! just hang the devil til he cant breathe no more. CASE CLOSED!!!

Makewetalkmypip:
OGB Recent aka cultist has bought a beautiful house in lekki Lagos Nigeria, the most expensive place in Lagos, but a man has come out to say that OGB make a big mistake by buying a house..[

you must be the comedian by claiming the above in bold!

you cant force nor teach a man/woman to love their partner... you also cant teach a man/woman to be sexually attracted to their partner. you either are or you arent,

sadly, its perfectly normal to not be as sexually attracted to your partner (10yrs down the line), as you were on day one.

what a selfish woman! so because she was mad at the dude and didnt want to be with him any longer (obviously), she had to kill the baby too?!

the lady is as foolish as the yeye dude she was having a baby with... now he is free and clear to be with that other woman.
WELL DONE!!!

blame your "god" for your life circumstances...

I never mentioned it anywhere in this thread that the woman was bad for wanting the money. The point in that case above was that the "Woman left him in 1992, while he was doing the time" . That is, there is no forever in for worse, there is only forever in for better.
And you also mentioned that the woman took care of the son, excuse you, was she not supposed to take care of her own son? You see, this is one of the verisimilitudes that the society shoves down people's throat. If it were to be a man, emphasis would not be laid on that fact that he took care of his son, huh! I see, everything that a woman does is special, why? Because she's a woman.

at least stand by the stuff you posted instead of trying to change your stand, to make a point:
you wrote: "It is not really appropriate to say marriage is the weapon fashioned against you, because children are also products of marriage. But it is more fair to say that your wife is the weapon fashioned against you. And guess what? That weapon will prosper." ... thus it is obvious your issue here is WOMEN and nothing else! i guess you expected a woman to stay married to this man who was sentenced to 25yrs in jail, abi? you wanted this woman to suffer for 25yrs because of the vows they took. i guess in your world NOBODY should ever get divorced, whether they have a good man, a yeye abusive evil man or a man that suddenly they dont love/want any longer, abi? let us remember that we are talking to someone who is too scared of women and cant even find one to date.

furthermore, the issue in that above problem is that you solely focussed on the money, while you should focus on the CHILDREN! children should be taken care of til they are adults, so even if you divorce a man/woman, you are both still legally responsible for these children until they are 21 (in the US).... and if husband cant (because he is incarcerated), a wife has the right to demand for child/spousal support (after they divorce) when he comes out with some money. a wise husband would have simply given it to her because she raised these kids on HER OWN)?!?!?

You still didn't read to understand, did you? Lemme make you understand.A wife leaves you when you were broke , and now that you are rich because some law is in favour, she comes back to lay a claim on part of your fortune. The first thing that should come to the mind of any man of sense is: "what gave her that kind of impetus?", "What effrontery", "she 'high or something?". Now the point in that case was that women can be unrepentantly shameless and unable to contain their covetousness nature when it is beneficial

let me try to explain it to you again, as if you were a 2yr old.... there are good men/women, there are bad men/women, there are great men/women and there are evil ones. just because a woman was greedy doesnt mean we should now sit down and say:"all women are greedy evil beings and men are ALL SAINTS. sadly, the above story wouldnt even have made headlines if the case had gone the full way, because she would have lost the case, but because the yeye husband got scared, thats why she won. marrying a greedy woman is one thing, being foolish enough to fall for her nonsense is another.
do you want me to post stories about GREEDY EVIL MEN too?

You still didn't read to understand instead you wanted to attack me. I made that point quite comprehensible enough. I gave 2 instances.
Case 1: The man may decide to conceal his wife's bad sides, he may decide not to reveal it to the public in other to satisfy his pride
Case 2: Some men are so primitive and they lack self esteem that they think women are scarce or are to be worshipped or that women are just like that anyways, so they put up with her sh*t and consider her perfect in her imperfections.

again:
- who are you to dictate what one man should accept from his partner or not?!
- who made you judge and jury that you should decide whats good and whats bad in marriage (especially since you are so afraid of women that you possibly will never get married yourself)?

everyone is different, and as much as you are entitled to your humble opinion, stop trying to make it look like your point is the only way to go forward in a married life. if a man wants to forgive his wife (for whatever reason) then so be it, he is the one who will have to live with her, not you....just the same as when wives decide to forgive their husbands. but then again, by reading what you are posting here, its obvious that in your mind a husband is always right and a wife is always wrong, lol!

I like this point so well. The male organism generally is polygamous in nature, men are making a big sacrifice by living with one woman all their lives. A man may be on another woman and still maintain his feelings for his wife, but a woman needs a paradigm shift of emotions before she cheats on her husband. This is why cheating is different with both gender, a man understands that when a woman cheats, the person she cheats with must have something better than her current partner, (it may be looks, fortune, influence or whatever)unless if the girl's a hooker . This emotional damage is what makes a man feel less of himself, but a woman knows that when a man cheats, he does not necessarily do so because the other woman is better.
Also in the above cases that you've mentioned, some men may decide to conceal their wife's infidelity in other not to have their ego bruised. However we do not have a verifiable proof that those ladies up there have not cheated at all as well, at least it took a while before we heard about Will and Jada Smith.

so 1st you came up with yeye reason as to why CHEATING IS BAD AND WOMEN GLADLY INDULGE IN IT WHILE BEING MARRIED TO GOOD MEN bla bla bla, then i brought to your attention that men who are married to some of the most beautiful women on earth also cheat on these fine women, thus showing you that your point is irrelevant. you now changed your complete stand on the issue and is now saying that cheating is good, only if men do it!
BWAAAAAAAAH! you must be a comedian!

FRANCISTOWN:
That's what we've been trying to say that the disadvantages of having a wife outweigh the advantages. So it's like 90/10

so men are perfect, right? men dont have bad sides, right? it is only women who are bad in marriage, right? i am trying to make you understand that BOTH men and women are bad, yet you keep continuing focussing on solely women. what is this failed fixation that you have with women? you do know that apart from women, there is no other option out there but A) marrying a man (aka being gay) or B) marrying your dog or C) being a bitter lonely very sad man for the rest of your natural life. choice is yours!

1. Again, I never said all women are unmanageable, I only said the chance of meeting a good one is so slim and highly laborious. The success rate is 0.1%.
3. My mom and female siblings are awesome

the above implies that there is 99.9% chance that Nigerian women are NO GOOD (apart from your mother and sister, of course). this is not only COMPLETELY FALSE, it says a lot about your failed state of mind. but then again, with the character you portray here, no wonder you cant find a good woman to value you.

4. Well , I dont need to meet any woman. There is nothing a woman will add to my life. I make my own money, I cook my own meal. Sometimes I eat out, I support myself emotionally. I hate when people disturb me with calls, I forget even my own birthdays... Life has been so easy, why should I bring problem into my own life?

the WOMAN who brought you to this world added a lot to your life, and unless you can impregnate your own self and possibly have a family/offsprings, you will end up a "more" sorry bitter lonely person. but, why dont you marry your mother/siblings, since they are the only good women out there? lol!

FRANCISTOWN:
The Christian folks won't consider it rubbish. I intentionally added this point for the sake of christians.

as much as there is many stories in the bible about yeye useless women, show me ONE VERSE that says that all women are bad, like you claim. stop implying false narratives here to try to use christianity to gather sympathy for your post.

But evidently, the majority of people that will see these posts are Africans. Also we can't deny that every one of us needs societal acceptance. Can you picture what will happen if the whole society goes against someone?

then why dont you blame AFRICAN SOCIETY/CULTURE instead of blaming women for the foolishness of desperately entering marriage while not being ready for marriage. do women force men into these yeye marriages OR is it the Nigerian society/culture that is making these yeye people get married?!?!?

FRANCISTOWN:
If you studied the bible very carefully, you'll understand that Judas acted according to what was written of him, even in John 13:27 "...Then said Jesus unto him, That thou doest, do quickly. " The same way John The Baptist was sent to prepare Jesus' way, likewise Judas to betray The Son of Man. But Eve's case was different, Eve was having a normal father, daughter level with God, yet she wanted to be God himself. Wasn't that the highest level of betrayal, covetousness and insatiability?
First of all, these bible verses do not support the point you made up there, because the above bible verses weren't talking about betrayal
Second of all, the above verses talk about the state to be when one is in the presence of God, whether in prayer or in church. Paul the Apostle in his writings to his spiritual son Timothy in ^{1 Timothy 3:15 But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth.}

The how was referring to 1cor 11

here is a simple clue: a woman betrayed your god, while a MAN killed his son (your prophet), yet you will come here and tell us that women and men are not equal and that women are worse than men?!

i brought these verses to make you understand that YOUR GOD PREACHES SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAN WHAT YOU WROTE. you are the one who has been talking down about women and suddenly brought out the bible into this discussion, as if the bible stood for the points you made,...while it doesnt!

GodHimself:
A tranquiliser dart would have done the job, and spared the dog's life.

so you think that security guards in Nigeria walk around with tranquilizer guns, and have time to bring it out when dogs attack, abi?

.

finally someone that is making sense with this trangender nonsense!

all the yeye hormones in the food is making some kids have precocious early puberty ....there are plenty of meds that can reverse this.

Alaigbopress:
I fall in Love with her, I love her so much but then she is a single mother. I don't know how to face the societal stigmatization.
Please what do I do?

did she fell on her head and became a single mother? didnt you know she was a single mother when you started dating her? before engaging any other woman in the future, ask "society" if she is good enough for you 1st!

.

FRANCISTOWN:
MrBrownJay1 I do not know why NL doesn't allow me quote you. But here is my response to your comment.

^{People see life from different perspectives, the fact that an opinion doesn't sit well with you doesn't make it a nonsense, that's how you know people who are not educated and reasonable. I've rebuted every of your points in my earlier comments in different threads. If you wanted a response from me, you need to remove the "Arrant Nonsense" or whatever label you have in your posts and then we'll have a decent discussion.}

you have to look pass the word arrant nonsense, as it is just a way to emphasize on the fact that i STRONGLY disagree with what you wrote... i dont know why NL doesnt let you reply my post... maybe NL also strongly believe that its "arrant nonsense", lol!
remember, this is not about seeing life a different way, you went out of your way to claim thing that were completely false/misleading (aka #1 #2 for example) just to make your point against women.

she looks like a child too...

labake1:
Professor, it is a YES OR NO answer.
See note!

there is no such thing as a YES or NO answer in such an important topic.

unless you take a screenshot, i doubt it would be possible... you can ultimately copy the text and post it here and then do the same thing witn the pictures and post them here too.

budaatum:
but I think what op wants is a shoulder to cry on and to be pitied, so I'm out.

yep, think so too....

SilentEmma:
And now my brothers can't even get me a job, neither can they just dish out money to me to go start any business I like...

here above i see part of your problem... you had plenty of time to do what "you like" and it would probably be wise now to do what THEY ADVISE YOU TO DO.... since they are the one bankrolling your life.
if you bring up an idea of a cafe to me, and i ask you ,"is that what u want for Ur life?"... i expect you to give me a valid answer to that question. i want you to make me believe that this is IT (probably bring me some business plan etc) before i put up my money for it. you sound like someone who has been living on cotton all your life and the little "off" issue in your life makes you retract on yourself.

get them the certificates so that they stop bothering you about it, put all efforts in order to do what they want you to do and if not, then probably make them understand that you just aint good at the stuff they want you to do.

budaatum:
This is not true! Op said the "the thought of committing suicide has just gone to an all time high", which means the thought of committing suicide was high before the brother said anything.

Op should stop blaming others and take responsibility for op's self, for not is part of the source of op's problems!

true but probably the reason for such negative thoughts is because of the pressure that the family puts upon him/her to find a job and be self sufficient etc.

Mynd44:
There is about a 3-6% chance of birth defects which some people are willing to take.

although the percentage is exactly the same (if they were not related) the whole issue is about that person being part of your family. this is probably someone you meet at every family gathering etc, and it doesnt sit right IMHO. their fathers are direct cousins.

FRANCISTOWN:
Hi guys! Once again I'll be up in your faces. Lemme add here quickly that some love to check tiktok videos, some love to read comments on any platform, some love to see movies , some love to chat, some will come here to say the OP is jobless, you see the time you spend in any of the above is what I also used to put this together.
It is not really appropriate to say marriage is the weapon fashioned against you, because children are also products of marriage. But it is more fair to say that your wife is the weapon fashioned against you. And guess what? That weapon will prosper.
That being said, I'd like us to begin with these two cases.
Okay guys!
Case 1: There was a guy called Steven Philips who spent 24years in jail for a crime he didn't commit,when he was released in 2008, he received $6 Million in compensation. Then, his ex-wife who divorced him while he was in prison sued to get part of the compensation. Let's stop here. She left him when he was at his lowest then came back to enjoy the dividend.

ARRANT NONSENSE #1
while he went to jail, his wife Traci Tucker had to raise their children BY HER SELF with no help from the husband etc...a jury understood that and awarded her just $150K...which is peanuts compared to the $2M lump sum he received AND the $11K he gets monthly (for the rest of his life) as part of his compensation.

FRANCISTOWN:
case 2: Dale Vince and Kathleen Wyatt were married in 1981, During their marriage they were poor new age travellers living on benefits; there were hardly any significant assets to distribute upon their divorce. Dale and Kathleen separated in 1984 and were finally divorced in 1992. After their divorce, Dale went into business and founded green energy supplier Ecotricity which led to him accumulating an estimated wealth in excess of £100 million.
In 2010, 18 years after they got divorced, Kathleen lodged a claim for financial support; although it was initially blocked by the Court of Appeal, the Supreme Court overturned this ruling and established the precedent that there is no time limit for ex-spouses to make financial claims against one another. However she got a fair share.

ARRANT NONSENSE #2
no judge gave a ruling on the above case because the dumb husband got scared and insteadof letting the court decide of the outcome, he decided to settle out of court by giving £500k to his ex wife (aka 1% out of his £57m fortune).

FRANCISTOWN:
Do you really think you can tame a woman? ... They say a woman only likes an Alpha male ,well she'll still cheat with a beta dude with a nice "".
They say be a bad boy , ladies love bad boys. But there is no assurance that she wouldn't cheat on the bad boy. Bad boys have been cheated on as well. A woman will cheat on a broke man with a rich man, A woman would still cheat on a rich man with a poor man.
A woman will get bored when you give her sufficient attention, but she'll cheat with her bestie who is always giving her even more attention.
Now my point is, anyone who says he knows how to handle a lady must be kidding, a lady can't even handle herself, how can you possibly handle her?

ARRANT NONSENSE #3
can you really tame a man? a woman can be the most beautiful woman on earth and her man will still cheat on her...
- didnt Jay Z cheat on Beyonce?
- didnt Offset cheat on Cardi B?
- didnt Safaree cheat on Nicki Minaj?
- didnt Halle Berry husband cheat on her?
- didnt Tristan Thompson cheat on Khloé Kardashian?
- didnt Kevin Hart cheat on his beautifull wife Eniko Parrish?
- didnt Tiger Woods cheat on Elin Nordegren?
and the sad part of all this is that, they probably cheated with some yeye looking woman that wasnt even half as beautiful/sexy as their partner.

FRANCISTOWN:
1. There are good women out there : This statement is widely accepted by many people, but this statement is apocryphal, it's a setup. Nobody can really tell wether Mr. A's wife is or not a good woman except Mr. A himself. Mr. A may come out to tell the whole wide world that his wife is the best, it will be very wrong to believe Mr. A , why? Mr. A's statement is subjective. No one lives with Mr. A , even if you did, you do not sleep with Mr. A and his wife on the same bed. But we can all see that Mr. A's wife is very supportive to her husband; Well, that may be one of her good sides that is visible to the world, her unseen sides may be terrible.
Okay! So would Mr. A lie? Well, it's not unlikely. Many people always like to feel superior in things that money can't buy, e. g luck, beauty, fame, influence, popularity e.t.c. Mr. A would come to say his wife is a Godsent even if she was a devil because he wants people to see him a lucky man, so people can reference his marriage and respect him as someone who has the formula for a good marriage. There are many of them here on NL, who are always deceiving themselves

ARRANT NONSENSE #4
a man can only judge his wife upon their interaction and/or what is visible to him. if she portrays to be a good woman then thats what her husband should believe she is. how can you judge someone on something they havent done/shown?! NOBODY ON THIS EARTH SHOULD BE JUDGED UPON THEIR UNSEEN SIDE.

FRANCISTOWN:
From another perspective, it may be because a verismilitude says "Everyone has a good side and a bad side, or hormonal changes and imbalance sh*t" . A man may decide to turn a blind eye to his wife's worst behaviours, she's hostile because she's on her period, she's being disrespectful because she's doubled, so she's still very good anyways. But ask yourself whether she's like that towards her pastor or her boss at work. You are the scapegoat, why? You married her.

ARRANT NONSENSE #5
only a very foolish person would believe that his/her partner has no bad sides. nobody is perfect in this world. everyone has a good and a bad side, the catch is to make sure that your partner has more good than bad and/or that your partner's bad side is not something you are fundamentally against. if your wife's bad side is something that you could forgive then so be it. some men out there would forgive a cheating wife while others wouldnt even forgive a wife that simply raises her voice... to each their own.

FRANCISTOWN:
Also, let's believe there are good manageable women out there. The probability of getting one is like trying to get an event from a min entropy distribution, that's a kind of distribution that's really spread out . The probability is close to 0.0000000001 which can be referred to as a null hypothesis, almost impossible, so, why go for something that the success percentage is not even up to 2%? Would it not be better to dissipate the energy and time into something more productive?
Now that begs the question: If it's almost impossible to get a good wife regardless the formula, why do guys still marry? It's like running around fire expecting not to sweat.

ARRANT NONSENSE #6
the above statement is so deluded.... to imply that all women are unmannageable and therefore there are no good women out there, makes me understand that you either A) hate all women or B) have a vendetta against women because ONE broke your heart.
if you have never met a good woman, then the problem is YOU. therefore you should look within yourself and ask the important question:" what is it about me that attracts all these no good women".

FRANCISTOWN:
2. Just find your bone of bone and flesh of flesh : as a matter of fact, this statement can't be more false in itself. Let's picture this. Let's say there is Mr. A, Mr. B, Mr. C , Mr. D, Mr. E , Mr. F .... Mr. Z. Likewise There is Miss A, Miss B, Miss C, Miss D, Miss E, Miss F..... Miss Z. If Miss A is the bone of bone and flesh of flesh(Bob&FoF) of Mr. A, and Miss B is (Bob&FoF) of Mr. B .... and Miss Z is (Bob&FoF) of Mr. Z . If Mr. A and Mr. B weren't aware that Miss A and Miss B are their (Bob&FoF) respectively and go on to marry Miss C and Miss D respectively. In that case they've married wrongly, so Mr. C and Mr. D will go on to marry different ladies who are not their(BoB&FoF), They'll also marry wrongly and the wives they select belong to another men. And the error goes on like that. Now think about it. If Mr. A dies, becomes a Rev. Father or gets thrown into prison before he marries, will Miss A remain unmarried all her life? No. She'll pick what belongs to another lady and the cycle keeps on like that.

ARRANT NONSENSE #7
trying to use bible statement to make a point about men and women today is not only foolish, but also very dangerous. you should stop trying to value life upon the rubbish written in books that are 2000yrs old.

FRANCISTOWN:
3. Marriage frustrates your moral : There is a staff of a higher institution in Nigeria who was arrested for kidnapping, after much torture , the man finally confessed to the crime. He said his family were hungry because ASUU was on strike and they've not been paid for many months. Now let's look at this critically, the moment a man is unable to feed his own home, he immediately starts feeling like sh*t, so men are under constant pressure. The adverse effect of this is that it leads to depression and downheartedness and that's one of the reasons married men die faster than women. If your woman is not looking good enough, people have the husband to blame, if she's skinny, they say the husband is not feeding her even if she eats a truckload of food. Huh , there's a guy who lost his friend to depression and death because the friend couldn't pay the kid's school fees, unknowingly the wife had already paid but she told the school to keep mounting pressures on her husband so she could get a refund.
As a man you can go days without food and still act like nothing is wrong, but when you marry and your wife has not eaten. That itself will fetch an unprecedented level of disrespect that you'll feel less of yourself, then you are bound to act under pressure which may lead to socially undisciplined behaviours.
Why go thru this much stress for someone that can just come up in your face one day and say "What have you done for me, that no one has done" , Pick her luggages and drive out in her new found love's car. That shit will cripple your mentality and will demoralize you. Don't , I say, women are not special, except your mother for the sake of motherhood.

ARRANT NONSENSE #8
the above has absolutely NOTHING to do with men and women and all to do with AFRICAN CULTURE AND SOCIETY. too many yeye people out there are quick to want to get married (due to the pressure that the African culture/society put upon them) but yet these same people are not remotely ready to be married.... but most importantly, why would anyone give a damn what others think of them? the above you wrote is exactly the problem of Nigeriansociety today...where yeye people value their lives upon what strangers think of them. what a shame!

FRANCISTOWN:
4. Women cannot be tamed, and can easily betray you when it is beneficial In Genesis, God warned Adam and Eve of the fruit , God was already the highest authority in Genesis. But when the devil came and showed her an avenue, Eve wanted to be God. Many woves secretly want to be richer than their husbands, so they can control them. If a woman could snitch on God, who do you think you are? Higher than God? Not possible. Now you need to be more careful of your wife is the submissive type. That's the highest level of deception , they learnt that trick from the serpent Genesis 3:1 Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast

ARRANT RELIGIOUS GIBBERISH NONSENSE
was Judas a woman? wasnt it a MAN that betrayed your prophet?! but most importantly:"IS THIS WHAT YOUR HOLYBOOK TEACHES YOU ABOUT WOMEN?!" you sound like a bloody hypocrite taking from your bible only what fits your narrow minded agenda.

1 Corinthians 11:11-12
Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.

Doyinlykdodo:
Its the year 2030
I ve been dating my fiance forward 6 years now, when we met she told me she was a virgin which I was happy to hear because It's my belief that if I marry a virgin and me being a virgin.my marriage and family would be favoured because the marriage is a self sacrificing and pure one
We've planned our wedding to hold on April 8th 2030 which is three months away from now.i was eagerly waiting for the day to arrive so that I can get married to the Love of my life until,she confessed to me that she is not a virgin and she didn't envision the relationship between us to lead to marriage.so she couldn't tell me earlier.
Right now I feel like my life has crashed and I ve been denied the opportunity to choose what I really wanted in my life because I won't have planned on getting married to her

this r/ship of yours was founded on DECEIT, what else is she hiding?!?! you need to get recosnsider everything about this person, let alone the fact that she is a liar and that there may be more that she is hiding.

just as you planned to marry her, you can also plan to NOT marry her. this virginity issue will never go away and will always be thrown in your face (or in your mind).

...at least, she didnt give you the "i was raped" story... or "i fell on a cucumber" story.

Mynd44:
Actually, it isn't incest.

Cousins are not direct family members and the gene pool has been diluted enough.

Marrying cousins is not a sin in both Abrahamic religions (Christianity and Islam), it is not legally wrong and it is not biological wrong either hence there is nothing preventing it.

It is just weird. Thats all

as much as it is indeed very weird, i think that there is a bigger INBREEDING/INCESTUOUS part to play here, as they are both GENETICALLY RELATED (even if it is only about 5%)