₦airaland Forum

ATMC: so many times, people enter relationships whereby their partner has some attitudes they believe they can change within the course of time. so many times, they get disappointed at the long run as they discover the change effected isn't permanent or blatantly their partner refused to change. since nature is not subject to change, i ask is human nature subject to change?

slimmy05: You're the one who's a daft. You're just a loosed mothed nitwit. So uncultured. I'm sure you greet your so called husband with abusive words. Razor tongue.

igbonla: Serious thread with hilarious contributions..

@OP, the part about keeping the man from those "silly girls" gives you away; the focus should be on having a successful relationship with your husband. Don't start suspecting your man from day 1.

Just some ideas to support your efforts:

- You actually just started at a school where you don't graduate!
- Marriage is hard work, in fact lots and lots of hard work, day in day out!
- It takes more than s*x to keep a man!
- Know and understand the man you married, you cannot change him!
- You can't stop a man from cheating but you can help him keep to his vows by being his friend.
- Men have conscience too, you get better results appealing to their conscience than criticising them.
- Let him be the head of the house, it is his natural role, any contest will start WW3
- Maintain your swag, the vessel must continue to attract, men live by sight most of the time.
- Learn to communicate, do not attack the man; how we see an issue is always the problem.
- Stay positive, be thankful everyday, life is good even with all the challenges

The man has his roles too but that would be for another thread.

ileobatojo:

On this family section? There are lots of ill comments against her people? Please show me a thread I was on where I encouraged ill comments against her people for no reason. Otherwise, spare me the misdirected righteousness.

I would say the bolded applies very aptly to you right now. Take your own advice. If you don't get my point, ask for clarifications instead of directing some pent up anger at the wrong party. Thank you.

MyTeenCity: Ladies, I came across this forum from Google Search Engine. However, the discussion began in 2006 and seemed to extend to 2011. Now it is 2013 and African American women have the need to dialogue about men from Africa coming to America marrying an African American woman for the purpose of obtaining a green card, while most hold White woman to a higher level of praise. I am glad to see this forum. I have began blogging about this issue. Romance was limited. I believe my ex married me for the purpose of obtaining a Green Card. I was so in love with him. I am not sure if my video will be uploaded, but I want to know if African women from Africa agree with me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUFMyq1fYHg

Goldenboy007: Poster/Tina,

It's quite unfortunate that your marriage broke up, did you say 12 good years? but do you wanna act as if your divorce is peculiar to you alone? I would say by Black American standard that's a long marriage! 75% to 85% of black American families are broken families regardless of whom they were married to (I'm in the US i know). I read someone correcting you that a certified Physician do not need a spouse sponsored green card and it's not far from the truth, I have a Nigerian doctor friend trained in John Hopkins and he is a Green card holder by virtue of profession/job without marrying a citizen or green card holder. I do not dispute that there are cases of Green card fraud marriages but yours wasn't one. Does it take him 12 years to get a Green Card from you? in fact it takes approx 9 - 12 months if he married a citizen. Spreading a tale of calumny against Africans is like a mission based on personal vendetta for love gone sour between two people, also aren't you as African as they come? The sincere truth is that yes you were foolish but you weren't deceived at all, marrying a Physician is a dream come true knowing what your black American society looks like! you gambled on what you saw and liked and you lost! It is easier to bear when racial segregation comes from the Caucasians but it's shame when it comes from a Black African sister !!! If i should write all that is in my mind you won't like me!

ileobatojo: Bwahahaha!



This!!

I too thought she was here to have an intelligent discussion till she started spouting meaningless, emotional bs.

bellong: IF you read her subsequent stories, the Kenyan Physician told her from onset he was marrying her for his own convenience. How is that manipulation? She knew what she was getting into yet she pushed on and came on here to spit venom.

I wouldn't know how long it takes for a green card to be issued but I know it doesn't take as long as 12yrs. If the physician was in it for green card, I want to believe the guy later changed his mind to be with her for 12yrs. You have not explained what led to the break up of the marriage so we can be sure the guy married you for a green card.

With the thrash you have written here, I wouldn't be surprised if the guy left you for a more intelligent fellow. Making up your mind not to have anything to do with an African is strictly and entirely your choice but going down the lane of categorizing all Africans as fraudulent is beyond your entitlement and we have the right to defend ourselves against your myopic view.

If you don't consider an African, there are millions of AA women looking for Africans to marry. Your choice does not stop the world from revolving.

When next you want to open a thread here, please make it an intelligent discussion devoid of myopic view and bitterness against race, culture and gender.

Febup: If the wife leaves the house anytime she likes and gets back anytime she feels like and the husband can not ask her where she is going as the wife will complain the husband is controlling her. But the first time the husband left the house without telling the wife where he was going he got locked out on his return. Is it the man's fault for not telling his wife where he was going?

sweetestguy: One of my friends just told me that her girl complains of seeing her period twice in a month.But my friend finds this fishy as he thinks she's just avoiding sex because he has been asking for it.hehehehe, guys what do you think, Abi she don turn to the woman with the issue of blood?

SniperInADiaper: Nobody should take divorce lightly.. but these days marriage is taken lightly.. which leads to the issue of divorce..

Ive some school mates who are on their 2nd or 3rd marriage and less than 30. Sad world.

SniperInADiaper: This... I have no words...

2buff... do you really think like this?

A lady who stays with an abusive relationship, verbally or physically, or with a man who is a constant cheater and disrespecting her isn't considering "everything else". The same goes for a man staying with a woman with similar traits. A woman in such a relationship is not teaching her fellow sisters and children well.

jay bee: One can't be too sure these days sis. You could be the husband as well as the wife shey you grab