₦airaland Forum

ndidibabe:
I used to go out with a guy before i met husband whom i married just a year back. I left this guy, a nice guy, on religious ground. He is a muslim. I used to be a muslim but now a christian so we couldnt share a common ground because of my new faith. Before i married my husband, almost 4 years after i left him, he has pleaded on several occassions that i come back to him but it was impossible because of my religion. He was not ready to convert afterall. Since i stopped dating him, he has never missed the chance of sending a birthday greeting to me each year which i reciprocated on his birthday. Now i am married and today is his first birthday after my marriage. I woke up this morning beside my husband and after prayer, i picked my phone and told him i want to say happy birthday to him (my ex) but he thinks i am emotionally attached to him. He says ''how come i know today is his birthday? Is there an alarm/reminder somewhere? How come i know his number offhand when it isn't stored on my phone? Don't i know i am married?'' But really, have i done anything bad?

I have a friend who keeps in contact with me and we never dated. He have confessed to me that he wants an exclusive relationship with me even though I am married. I told my husband about it and we have agreed that I will ignore the friend's contact because it displeases my husband.

Try to put yourself in your husband's shoe and understand where he is coming from. I personally don't see an issue of you wishing your ex well, but he is an ex for a reason.

What is more important to you, maintaining a dead relationship with your ex or thriving well with your husband?

I chose my husband.

[quote author=~Killz~ link=topic=873473.msg10224915#msg10224915 date=1329582720][color=#000030]^^^
No i'm not! I'm all for the whole PDA stuff, but that statement about finding it hard to touch when alone is sooo wrong! [/color][/quote]I agree. It would have been difficult for Chima and I just to look at each other without touch even in public. Chima takes "cleaved into one" literally.

One couple asked us why are we affectionate in public? We responded that's how we are behind closed doors.

I find it strange if couples aren't affectionate (hugs and hand holdings) in public.

I wasn't off topic Wifey.

lefulefu:
Mrs chima dont worry
wen i wan get my green card then i will make u my 4th wife .hope say in america its not a crime ooo to have more than one wife? .dem suppose understand since i be an african man nah

[size=44pt]Climbs up on Statue of Liberty and laughs out loud in Chinese  [/size]

Unlike many American and foreign women, I am not DESPERATE.       I would rather marry Hunchback of Notre Dame than to ever to let you touch me!  (vomiting in mouth)

LMAO@flat nyansh You wish hater.

Were you looking at your ashyho's nyansh when you typed that?

Look at Lebiggestfool being jealous.

It is not a die hard importance to me but I prefer tall men.

Mutually Chima and I do not contact our past flames.  I have this friend who i have never dated but is very smitten with me, he doesn't contact me in the present of Chima for obvious reasons.  

I often time ignore the calls/texts because I do not want to hear my husband's fuss.  Hell even the mailman scared to come to the door!  He just throws the mail near the door and run.  

Seriously.

lefulefu:
na wah oooo.mrs chima just dey box freecocoa because freecocoa wan try snatch her husband,

You sure? I was [b]ON, BESIDE, UNDER, BETWEEN, and UP [/b]that hunk of flesh on VALENTINE DAY.

lefulefu:
me is a hot sexy brotha
u ask mrs chima nah
she cant just get enough of my hot a$$

(vomits in mouth)  You got the wrong Mrs. Chima nukka.

[quote author=~Killz~ link=topic=873473.msg10224152#msg10224152 date=1329576696][color=#000030]-1000 !
What do you say about couples that are not comfortable touching in public, but in the confines of their privacy, they are wild cats? Huh?
![/color][/quote]Are you confessing brotha?

[quote author=A-ZeD link=topic=873525.msg10219149#msg10219149 date=1329508530]Stereotyping is bad for everything in life including relationships. I really get pissed of when i hear people who claim to be educated say things like
1) All successful relationships are with someone of the same culture, ethnicity, and religion. 
2) All girls/guys are [, ,x,y,z].[/quote]Intelligence people thinks outside the box and ignorant people thinks inside the box. Intelligence people can mentally process things differently than ignorant people. However, ignorant has nothing to mentally process if they are not properly expose or introduce to variety of things in life.

It is interesting to see some comments on other threads regarding all Americans are like Obama and Bush going overseas bombing and stealing things. The commentator of that comment claimed to be intelligent.

If people don't know better, they can't do better.

pendo89:
I dont think stereotypes are a blessing for the one reason we know of.WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT.

The mindset of some people need serious makeover but you know chima I have come to discover that the society makes people think and talk way they do.
In Africa esp,stereotypes can cause retardation because we like pleasing the bigger society. We conform to stereotypes and forget about personal development.

Are they necessary? Not to me cz I care more about personal development and what works in my favour really.

I agree on the personal development thing as well.

[quote author=Inked_Nerd link=topic=873525.msg10221773#msg10221773 date=1329554352]@OP: No, stereotypes are not necessary at all but sadly we live in a society where people feel the need to project their prejudges onto others. What's even more sad is that people make excuses for these stereotypes and perpetuate them.[/quote]Do you think prejudices are taught or experienced?


Nice comments my sistas.

sauer:
Stereotyping can be easy tied to worldview. Worldview is largely determined by parental upbringing and by the society where one grows up. It certainly isn't unusual to find Nigerians who possess these ideas, or are of the opinion that a shred of it is supportable. It's no fault of theirs really; it's the society.
Stereotyping  stunts relationship growth, deprives those involved maximum satisfaction in their pursuit of togetherness and eventually wrecks any and all relationships. I try to disassociate myself from these wanton beliefs and waste no time in expressing my dissatisfaction with those who perpetuate them. A girl is certainly done with me if she exhibits the tendency to cling to one form or another of stereotyping!

Exactly.  

born2fuck:
Why would a man move into a woman house, this I don't support,it is a bad idea

Please elaborate why a man can't move into a woman house?  

(Without using culture and tradition explanation)

chimuchi:
[size=18pt]what is stereotypes?[/size]

Stereotype is a standardized conception or imagery set with special meanings or held in common by groups, regions, buildings, and things.

For example:

White women have flat booties.
Igbos are money hungry and will do anything for it.
Arab people are bombers and suicidal.
Black Americans are lazy, on welfare, and anti-marriage.
Asians are good at math and science.
Yorubas are wowor and polygamous.
Black men have anaconda joysticks.
White men have snail joysticks.
Mexicans breed children faster than roaches.
White people have same idealogy and agree on everything.

These are examples of stereotypes that have been conceptualized by society and because a person looks like a specific group that they are characterized by the whole group.




.

slimyem:
a large percentage of people enter into relationships with stereotypical mindsets and i believe it does more bad than good to both partners.
The phrase i detest most is  the 'all girls are the same' crap and i have heard it countless times in my life.
No one's ever ready to give you a benefit of the doubt and even when you do surprise them,it all still feels like a dream never coming thru to them.
What can you do except just play by it and pray for a win!

I don't think necessarily people go into relationships with stereotypes because in my opinion, it is always negative. People will not enter a relationship on a negative note unless they are in denial, but people often time go in with expectations of everything is easy.

Stereotyping in relationship is very common and people realizes after time passes that they have made errors base on stereotypes.

I agree that playing it by ear and praying for a win is a good way to enter a relationship.

You all are just jealous.

Congratulations to the couple.

Awww. Lebiggestfool is in love with a wowor woman!

Freiburger:
Bringing children one cant provide for to the world is one of the greatest sin.

I agree!  

pedestal82:
Am planning a wedding with my pweety, but we are always arguing abt the number of kids we gonna hv, she insist on 2 kids only while I want 6. I luv crowd, grew in a home with plenty of siblings and relatives. Is it wrong to hv that many kids in this day and age?

Listen to Aunt Chima, you DO NOT want many children in this DAY and AGE.  You need to be realistic and take your time.  Upendo suggested an excellent strategy, start with two children and if you can afford more children then slowly increase your family.  However, do not lose your happiness over something as petty as number of children stipulation.  

What if you or your wife passes later on in life, then who will help you or your wife take care of 6 kids?   Okay, you can find another wife easily, but can your wife find another husband easily?  Think about it.  

Your wife is thinking ahead and knows your financial situation.  She knows that you guys can only afford two children at this time.   Let your pride go and be happy.  

henryhemon:
And sorry most gals are whores and they re our friends and you don't know that.

Aww. She hurt you so bad huh?

I am in love with a man.

LMAO@under my skin eating my flesh

Well, God did say we all are a purpose. Gone ahead hungry boy.

kokoye:
Aint that the truth??

We know

Shaddap! I am not scared of you nor 2buff!

Duke 'em up!

Somebody gave Koyoke some mickey!

[quote author=~Killz~ link=topic=872499.msg10218936#msg10218936 date=1329506308][color=#000030]Boil 'em in hot water first! [/color][/quote]Oh lawd! Got a cannibal on the loose! Run!!!!!

We ain't Jesus though.

Some of you mofos gon back up off of Inkie!

Don't make me use my steel bat!