₦airaland Forum

MOGUL.O:
Who be this


Please may i know you??

Ezy~p:
THIS IS HILARIOUS>>>>>>>
Cristiano Ronaldo congratulates
Lionel Messi on winning his fourth
Ballon d’Or.
Dear Lionel,
I am writing you this note to
offer my congratulations on
winning the Ballon d'Or.
Again. As you can see by the look
on my face, I am very happy for
you. Please forgive me for not
congratulating you at the gala,
but
since I am so tall and statuesque
and you are so tiny and maintain
terrible posture, I couldn't find
you in the crowd. Also, since
someone played a joke on you by
telling you to wear that garish
spotted jacket and tie, I didn't
want to keep you from getting
home
and changing your clothes as fast
as you possibly could. That's how
thoughtful I am.
It was another tremendous year
for me, and, supposedly, for you
as well. You had to set a world
record in order to score more
goals
than me. Of course, smart people
know that team accomplishments
are far more important than
personal achievements and I
helped my club to win La Liga in
2012 whereas you only helped
your club win the Copa del Rey.
The year my club only won the
Copa del Rey, I did not win the
Ballon d'Or. I
suppose this just shows that
voters hold me to a higher
standard than you.
Anyway, you have now won the
Ballon d'Or a record four times in
row. I guess you're happy about
that. Yet, Andy Gray, England's
most respected sexist
broadcaster, has questioned
whether you could play well on a
cold night in Stoke. After all, you
have only
won titles for one club, whereas I
have won titles for clubs in La
Liga and the Premier League. But
very few players have the
physical talent and mental
strength to prove themselves on
different teams and in different
leagues, so you should only feel a
little bit bad about that.
People are always trying to
compare you and I, but there
really is no comparison. Yes, we
were both named after Americans
-- I was
named after Ronald Reagan, a
talented actor and two-term
president, whereas you were
named after Lionel Richie, a man
who sang about dancing on the
ceiling. Which is both impossible
and patently ridiculous. I
impregnated a woman and
created a child in 2010, but it took
you until 2012 to figure out how
to do those things. I grew tall and
strong naturally and you needed
enough growth hormones to
make even Lance Armstrong feel
guilty in order to be neither of
those things. Also, I wear proper
tuxedos to formal events while
you wear a suit made out of
clown pants. So comparing us is
both silly and unfair.
In conclusion, I congratulate you,
Leo. But remember: No matter
how many Ballon d'Or awards you
win, I still won it first.
Confidently yours,
Cristiano Ronaldo, CR7 'The only 1'
P.S. My apologies for writing this
letter in English, one of several
languages I am able to speak,
when I know you only speak
Spanish.
Maybe Cesc or Pique will translate
it for you.

Okiki_Oluwa: stop there. Where do u think u r running 2. Bites one of his ear. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Okiki_Oluwa: call that yeye Mr T Anonymous to help u, b4 I shymmex u 4rm behind.

El Guapo: [color=#0066ff]Am an African -- The figure could hit 300 by Xmas [/color]

El Guapo: [color=#0066ff]**Looks around to make sure he's Safe** :

Uhm. . .am Planning to adopt her as my 107th Wife -- Do u have a Problem with that? [/color]

El Guapo: [color=#0066ff]Good for U Sir -- Are u a Press man?

I hate to have my affairs with Models on the News [/color]

PretiEbony: Chai! Dis guy don kolo finish

El Guapo: [color=#0066ff]I wish u can Speak [/color]

El Guapo: [color=#0066ff]Are u a neighbor to her? [/color]

britneykyute: On MONDAY( at 6a.m) Am hating this memories of the swit weekend with my bby, can't even concentrate at work, I miss you baby.! TUESDAY. With my baby at Galitos for Pizza having a good time. Mmmmwah. Love you bby! WEDNESDAY. Just had the best moments with ma hubby, watching movies at IMAX Kenya, having dinner at seasons. Love youu bby mmmwah. THURSDAY. Spending the whole day with ma bby in the house. It's an awesome feeling! Awwwww the Man of my Life. Gosh! I believe I can fly. FRIDAY. This Party don't stop at Tribeka. With my Girlfriends, Candy Sexsy shii.! Pesh switlips like dah, Hotgirl beiby, Hagalicious punny, Hot Nicki Minaj Akinyi and the Man of ma Life. Alehandro Otis. Hakuna kulala.! SATURDAY. Club here we come. Maaad maad fun beiby. You the best. My dream is to fly over the rainbow with you hehe. Love you bby! SUNDAY.(at 4pm) Oooooooh(yawn) No I can't even move my head, hangovers are killing me, last night was crazy.

AFTER BREAK-UP status updates.

MONDAY@2p.m All Men are the same Dogs. Nkt! Free and single. Relationships sucks. I hate Men. Bleep Love. TUESDAY. God is the only bf you can trust. Heal my pain God. WEDNESDAY. Watching Family TV. That message has really touched me. Thank God for the STRENTH. Some one cheer me up pleeez.! THURSDAY. (Song) Mbona, mbona, mbona! Ooh lord my God can't you see that am crying. If I have done something wrong forgive me ooh, my God. Cast your burden unto Jesus, for he cares! FRIDAY. Heading to Kesha with my Sisters, Mary, Elizabeth, Faith, Patience and Mama Brian, with a headscarf on my head. With a bible. SATURDAY. When I was down, he lifted me up. I'm strong on his shoulders, can't wait to be in Church Kesho. ( @9P.M) time to sleep, Gnyt pals. SUNDAY. That was my message. The best Men came from heaven oooh. Am so blessed today.

El Guapo: [color=#0066ff]**Having felt her Bountiful Bosoms El Pleads**

Can We now Go into the Room and finish what u've Jxt started? [/color]

bin gbagbo: how many heads u get?

MOGUL.O:
Am back again after a long break Huuuuuuuuuu!

This time i promise to step up ma game and make this place d BEST place to be!!!!

*whispering* all dis nonsense things wey bin cragbo, bunmioguns,toydog e.t.c dey do for here,i go stop them..... Anybody wey Dani1hate ban, i go un-ban am!!...... Post any joke of ur choice (funny or not) i go laugh.... Hmmmmmmmm...... i'm back and i'm back for good!


Happy new year!

i know u all missed me.... and i missed u more..



as for my haters



I no send them!


BRB...................................

kennytidistar: RAPID RESPOND SQUARD NIGER AREA

Okiki_Oluwa: Absolute No! I m not kolo.
No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

PretiEbony: Nice joke Abeg... Make una bring chain oo e be lyk say diz guy don kolo

slimchi2k2: na waoo how come bro

toygod:

If na dat BUSH FROG post dis kind tin, you noh go say is funny?

Mstchwww,EWU JALINGO like you

bunmioguns: The maid asked for a raise, and the wife was upset.


She asked, "Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"

HELEN: "There are three reasons.

The first is that I iron better than you."

WIFE: "Who said that?"

HELEN: "Your husband."

WIFE: "Oh."

HELEN: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."


WIFE: "Who said that?"


HELEN: "Your husband."


WIFE: "Oh."



HELEN: "The third reason is that I am better in Sex than you."




WIFE: "Did my husband say that as well?"


















HELEN: "No, the gardener did."


















WIFE: "So, how much do you want?"