₦airaland Forum

geronimoedeh1:
jealousy... jealous girls advicing her against getting married cox dey are in dere late twenties,wit d so called education n career n yet no husband....so dat she wil get into school n start fuckin around lik all u girls....my daughter wil get married,finish having her babies b4 i wil let her go to part tym school..

With this your mentality I pray you don't have a girl, just boys.

@euchaaria: I would suggest that you don't go. He is certainly up to no good. You should wait till you find out about the interview results. Whatever the outcome of the interview you should report him to HR/Management. He has certainly done this before and will continue doing this if he is not stopped. There are probably victims out there and he should be stopped from continuing with his perverted ways. There is no reason why a member of an interview panel should reach out to an interviewee outside of official premises and also without the other members.

Kaira333:
ok dear thanks but dat ur friend first look for my wahala. Its well.

You are welcome.

@kaira333: The way you are responding to those who don't agree with your actions shows that you have a very combative spirit. There was no need to call Freecocoa a prostitute. Looking at the situation you could have let the status quo remain. Do you think your husband was not aware of the "stealing" done by that boy? He probably let it happen because he did not consider it to be significant and maybe the benefits he gained from the guy's service was more than the loss in earnings. I have a cousin who is fond of inflating the prices of things. We all know that but some of us still send him on errands because as a hustler he is aware of a lot more things than most of us, especially those of us who live abroad and want things done back home. That's the price we pay in order to get service from him. Sometimes it is just best to choose your battles especially when it concerns family members.
Regarding his use of prostitutes, he is a grown up. You cannot use your moral compass to judge other people. As long as it is not done under your roof and the ladies are of legal age, then it is no business of yours.

adellam16:
Forget bout her dressing o but to b sincere this dressing no fit her stature. She for wear skirt or trouser pants with top. She is fat, her boobs aint erect so she for dress with something fitted. Not everybody has d body to carry dis type of dress. The dress is cool but not for her stature. Tho it shouldn't stop them from allowing her entry sha.

Typical of a woman to put down another woman. The only thing you should be commenting about is whether her outfit is decent or not. I'm sure you won't like other people to critique your appearance.

Oluwalosheleyi:
@ solidhomes just follow dese steps:
(a)find a silent place in ur house where u cn b alone
(b)annoint a corner of d place by making 21 signs of d cross wit olive oil(read psalm 24 7tyms in2 the oil before using it) on d floor of dat spot
(c)make sure d room is wel-lit wit bright light or candles,no bit of darkness.
(d)burn incense if u can get it if not just make sure d room is fresh & clean like u want 2 receive an important visitor
(e)now kneel at dat corner facing d wall,its now a holy ground
(f)call on " Jah Elohim " seven times & start reading psalm94 immediately after d seventh call
(g)read d psalm once and start complaining:report d case making sure you mention d name of d man who duped u clearly,ask 4 refund of ur money &as for judgement 4 him.
(h)wen u ar through,say d following"i request dis wit d precious blood of jesus,glory,honour and worship to the name of the father the creator forever&ever amen"
WARNING:if u hav done d same to others u wil b judged 2&dont do it if u hav just don sumfin unclean

Good grief! You call yourself a Christian? You call on the Lord to seek revenge. No wonder so many people are running away from church.

ogawisdom:
Y u dey fear, u did ur job. But wait ooo is there no way d both of u would ve settled d cash of 1m without involving management n causing his termination.

Ur action leading to his termination was quite harsh, u ve killed dt guy.

Well go and report to a police station ie threat to live and police will invite him to sign undertaking dt if anything happens to ur life he will held responsible, he will b d one protecting u thereafter. Use d text msg as evidence.

If you steal you know the repercussions. You should be a trustworthy person if you are handling people's money. What if management later found out what had happened, do you realize that the op would have been sacked due to the fact that he covered gross misconduct by one of his employees? He did the right thing and now he has to report the threat to the police.

fergieboy:
Nawa

You terminated someone job cox of paltry 1m... This should have being resolve among yourself and the branch

It is because of people like you Nigeria will continue being a corrupt country. So he should not report theft committed by an employee? So 1 million is not money? How much do you have in your bank account? What if you were the customer, would you have confidence in a bank that does not discipline employees that indulge in nefarious activities.

What does the woman do with the money she makes? Her husband said some of the bills, he probably wants them to share the bills in proportion to what they make. What if the businesses go through a rough period and they have to depend on her income, will she be willing to support her husband?

@Op: I would say your analysis is very flawed for the following reasons
1. It does not take into account taxes and other income deductions. How can someone be earning 200k and be taking home 200k?
2. It does not take into account regular expenses such as clothing, transportation, toiletries, medical bills, holidays, cable/movies
3. For ten years the first couple will be merely existing and that's not a good life to lead. No entertainment, no extracurricular activities for the kids, no holidays to go and see family members. I am sure you cannot expect a family to live comfortably when they have to forgo the simple pleasures in life. They need a social life too.

oginga:
@op we are on the same page, my other half cast, bound, destroy, return and as well burn by fire.

Her prayer carries more curses than anyone can imagine. Just this morning I was forced to open my eyes while we were praying.....In her words "anyone dragging position of financial director with my husband should die by fire, thunder strike all those against my husbands promotion in Jesus name ".

Op please let her continue, it helps in critical times.

That's a terrible way to pray. Our Lord is a merciful God and you cannot call on him to cause harm to other people. I wish the pastors of these new generation churches would stop promoting this primitive way of praying.
If the wife of the man in the op's story was busy with work or running a business, she won't have time to spend the whole day at church. She will probably be tired and not wake up her husband with her loud prayers. Idleness is terrible. She has been so brainwashed she now considers her husband to be a demon.

Ujoan:
From page one? Really? Can you screen grab page 1 and show me where I attacked anybody? Enlighten me . . . Please.

Its exactly accusations like this I'm defending and here you are making one again. If I insult you now someone else will come and say I'm fighting.

I guess what people want is for me to sit back and take attacks

Why would you insult me? Do you know me? Well you can click on page(1) and you will see how judgmental you were of the OP's brother and then things escalated between you and other writers.

Ujoan:
And if you understood English you'd also know I meant the OP . . . since you are his mouthpiece, obviously eliciting empathy on his behalf. Olodo

I hate seeing nonsense, it assaults my sensibilities, that's why I've dedicated my time and energy to fight it on this thread.

You guys think being insensitive is something to be proud of. I can only feel sorrow for the children you are raising. . . .

I don't have any pity to waste on OP because the don't deserve it . . . both him and his brother.

Someone asked him if the search is for ritual purpose . . who knows. The things we hear these days. Maybe they asked him to donate one of his sons and w2ho better to bring than the bastard he abandoned.

Now I fear for the poor boy . . . May God save and protect him

You are taking this too far. From page one you have been attacking the OP and anyone who defends him. The brother would love to meet his son. Yes he abandoned the mother but at least he is trying to right a wrong. Have you never made a mistake in your life? Have you never hurt anyone in your life? Remember the bible quotation: “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”

Askseek:
Did you see any where in my post where I said he was not foolish, weak or that he related all these to me? You make a lot of assumptions but you might want to take a step back to grasp what I am trying to communicate to the op. As for my mil, yes not a piece of cake for your husband to have kids outside however when you consciously maneuver to cut said kids off then it is cruelty. He would have taken care of his kids, they were his responsibility not hers. Depriving them of any contact with their father benefitted her how? Her kids she tried so hard to protect have abandoned both she and her husband, so what did she gain? When after almost thirty years you try to right a wrong, then you sit this girl down to tell her, her mother took advantage of your husband and that's the only she was born, that is beyond cruel. So please, that she was partially right does not exonorate her, she was actually sure the boy was her husbands child and she was not sure of the girl. If there was no guilt why go back after so many years. If she was not cruel, why the guilt? Why the sleepless nights? She spearheaded the whole we must right this wrong that was done. She stuck with a man that could not keep it in his pants hence her cross to bear. You skipped where I said two kids that could be tracked down. I did not talk about the ones for whom she procured abortions for in the name of "they want to spoil my marriage".
By the way, calling him my fil in no way implies he raised my husband. it's a title accorded because he fathered him simple. I refuse to be offended at your not so subtle jab at me "I should be worried about my husband", thanks for your concern but no thanks. I am fine here, been fine with this man I've spent a total of 23 years with. Not everyone is a reflection of their home. I have not had cause to regret my choice and dont expect to.

One more thing, the only person who enjoys regaling anyone who will listen about this sordid story is my mil not fil as you assumed.

To be honest I blame your fil not your mil. She did what she thought was best to protect her home and preserve her marriage. Also if your fil had taken care of these kids it would have reduced the amount he had to spend on the kids he had within matrimony. No woman would appreciate that.

Fastpace:
That why being a true christian is not easy,there is nothing wrong with my advice.

I don't think I quoted you but if you think being a true christian is letting your spouse beat you to death or not divorcing an abusive spouse, then I had rather follow my own kind of Christianity.

Fastpace:
Honestly u should have not think of what society or so called family will say and say NO to that marriage when u had d chance,if u are a christian u can leave only when u catch him cheatin red - handed, hence u hv to put up with this bitter marriage.i respect my parent but when it comes to matters that concern my future i make my final decision.
Parent are selfish alot nowadays.Pray to God,fast too for that man to change nothing is impossible for God.i feel ur pain.

So if she doesn't catch her husband cheating on her she should die in this loveless marriage? You should be very careful with the kind of advice you give to people.

Pidggin:
[s][/s]

Small pikin who dey follow you talk? Between, give your life to Christ He is calling you today answer the call my dear

You are the kind of "Christian" that gives religion a bad name.

dachuchi7:
My attention have been drawn to how some folks have turn this Romance section where they can open threads that are apprioprate and necessary for other Sections on Nairaland.

These Section should be mainly for advice in Relationships and other miscellanous threads that promote platonic relationships and not the other way round.

Recently threads that suppose to be in Politics,Crime,Family,Celebrity or Sexuality Sections and what have you are on Romance section and you are left wondering how some of them still find their way to Front page,it is that Bad.

I joined Nairaland a month ago after been a Guest for some time and has being enjoying the forum bits by bits.

Seun is doing a good Job though but he have to step up his game with the assistance of the Concerned Mod(s) and sanitize Romanceland.

Thanks 4 ur understanding Seun Osewa and the concerned Mods.

I certainly agree with you. I have noticed that a lot of sexually-themed topics are posted in the Romance section despite the fact that there is a Sexuality section. Some of us browse the threads at work and it can be frustrating to visit the Romance section and see so many sexual topics. I am not a prude but this has to do with the fact that I am at work and obviously certain things should not be viewed at work.

verabetsy:
Nah, not what you think

read the post!

I have read your post and I still think it is child abuse. That little girl is still a "baby". If you want a house help then employ an adult. If you want to help the parents then foster the child and treat her as your own. There should definitely be no distinction between your foster child and your biological children.

Obiwannn:
Not all anyways. And anyman who doesnt love an independent lady should get his head checked. The problem is when the said lady wants to boss the man and refuses to respect him as she should (respect is reciprocal anyways). Truth is many Nigerian ladies as someone pointed out are more Western than the Westerners themselves, many choose to be liabilities, while being bossy as an icing. No one wants to get married to a Potential Divorcee .

What do you consider to be respect because sometimes when you hear a Naija man talking about respect he is of the mentality that "it is either his way or the highway". How many men consider the opinion of their partners before making decisions? How many men can humble themselves and seek the advice and guidance of their wives?

mhisbliss:
read my comment again this time slowly maybe you'll understand what i meant and maybe not

Actually I loved everything else you wrote. I only had an issue with the part I quoted.

omochelsea004:
what i decided to do is to make her know say me self good pass her for silent treatment, maybe if she see say me i sabi give silent treatment pass her she go they rethink before result to it all d time she is angry, because i don talk am tire & still no changes

Silent treatment has destroyed a lot of relationships. It's certainly not a good way to maintain a healthy relationship.

doctorkush:
you expect me to believe this
how is it possible to kidnap someone with a bike and knife ? and right in front of a friend ?

she probably must be dating one and perhaps a girl with high libido,the friend assisted..

well none of my business

stupid boys,foolish girl and a lai father.

What a stupid comment!!!

omochelsea004:
to ask for help is different from to give command, this is not situation of asking for help, its a case of giving command to her husband & that was the reason i reacted that way

You could have drawn her attention to it by maybe making fun of the situation by saying something like "okay boss" or "okay madam". This will make her realize that she was being bossy. If she's a sensible lady she will apologize. Communication is key and you need to tell her that you don't like the silent treatment.

macotrading72:
Most of my friends here in japan way go naija go merry vow they will never bring their naija wife to Japan reason because after one or two years here she will start making friends that will enlighten here on things she didn't know which to the guys will jeopardize their beautiful home.
So they marry them and leave them for naija, for Japan for example man and woman dey equal so most of us from naija no ready for that kind competition.

You have just explained why some Naija men go home to get married. They don't want to marry their equals. They don't want exposed and enlightened woman who know their rights. All those posters saying that it's because the girls are promiscuous, this shows the calibre of people you guys are. You meet these "gold-diggers" because you don't interact with women of substance. All my friends are educated, independent women with good careers. A lot of Nigerian women are very successful and doing very well for themselves. This sometimes intimidates guys especially those who haven't progressed in life.
Also there are a lot of weddings between Nigerians based abroad.

mhisbliss:
shes at fault because she should do all the chores as a lady without compelling you to help you should willingly offer to help...

So if she's tired or feeling overwhelmed she shouldn't ask her husband for help?

OP, providing money for provisions should not stop you from helping with chores. You both should work as a team. More hands make the work lighter. You made it seem like it's either your way or the highway. Although I dont understand why your fiancée made such a big deal about grinding the pepper, I think you made it a bigger deal by comparing yourself to her brother-in-law.The mistake a lot of African men make is they think that as long as they provide the finances they shouldn't lift a finger. You and your fiancée should sit down and talk about how you would love to run the house so that you both are on the same page before you get married.

Also it is 'peel', 'audacity' not 'pill' and 'ordercity'.

@OP: I love your eyebrows and to answer your question, I don't think passport size photographs do justice to most people.

It looks like a cell in a jail and that bathroom is absolutely filthy.

Bluette:
This is so funny.. No matter what u will go to church on sunday o except its so chronic that u av leg paralysis then no problem.

Cc:
Lalasticlala
Password: snake.
Location: front page.

Ha ha ha. This is so funny but true. Easiest way to get your thread pushed to the front page.

@OP, are you sure that the baby belongs to your in-law? I would say wait till the baby is born and then do a DNA test. In the meantime your in-law has to come clean to his wife. It is better she hears it from him. She would probably be hurt but hopefully she would be able to forgive him. Next time don't put a married man in a tempting situation.