.



While alive , I'd try hard to settle my brothers.


But I keep on warning them...

If I ever die and any of my brothers or relatives touches whatever I kept for my wife and kids, my spirit would snuff life out of such person.

Such person isn't worth being called a brother.

What where they doing with their life when their late brother was amassing 20million naira?

Waterlilly:
lol its just for me alone am not buying it for commercial purpose

Read my post again

Whatever that has a battery is not reliable.


The rechargeable clipper might look good at the moment but someday, the battery would become weak, then die.

I own a normal clipper for my haircut.
Then , a low quality rechargeable clipper in case I want to cut the bush in some parts of the body.


I paid 13k for my main clipper. A high quality one.

But paid just 5k for the rechargeable one I use for cutting down the bush I earlier mentioned. With this, I have no business with shaving stick.


Try same pattern. You'd love it.

If u r getting a personal clipper for ur haircut, there's a 95% probability that you'd be taking it to a barbing salon before u get a haircut (or do u want to barbe ur self? )
And we all know That there MUST be light at d barbing salon Or at least, a generator.

So why then do u want to get a rechargeable clipper. What r u recharging it for?


I only got a rechargeable one because I can easily charge it then take it to the bathroom or toilet (where I can get d privacy to easily nude myself and raise my scrotum so that I can cut those bushes underneath it)


If I'm going to a barbing salon, I only use d main clipper

Wow...!!!

Seniorwriter:
Seen

Next....
In another news.
There are three(3) basic ways to earn via online you can choose to use all or any which are:
# Via Skill
# Via Product
# Via Investment

But to effectively and legitimately earn online you have to be deliberate in your desire to earn.

Few ways to be deliberate:
# Join an online earning community.

# Get a mentor or key in to a mentorship program.

# Register on earning platforms as a freelancer or Investor.

# Open your online international payment or bank account.

# Create your digital presence.

# Constantly save proofs of your online income or gigs(jobs or transactions done) successful completed.

# Research & Learn new earning ways and updates.

Get mentorship for a token fee and start earning daily even if it's $5 daily.


@Seniorwriter

I have something you'd need but you'll have to check my profile.

.



Does empty barrels/talkative make the greatest noise?


Just as I guessed, everyone would have a different opinion but for the sake of our collective sanity, lets assume that whatever you are thinking is right.

And I'm the only one that's wrong.


With that being said, I'd head straight to today's sermon.

NOTE: Reading my nairaland posts daily is capable of bringing u blessings or at least, a relieve from life's endless travails.


Empty barrels doesn't make the greatest noise.

What u call 'noise' might be a 'sweet,healing music' to another.

And no matter how loud u think it is, it might be too low for the soul its resonating to.

There's nothing like noise. It all depends on d interpretation of d receiver.


I love Celine Dion songs because it reminds me that I'm single , lonely and seriously in need of a girlfriend.

Meanwhile , my brother calls same song 'noise'.



In marketing, there's nothing like NOISE.

There's nothing like negative advertisement.


All exposure is needed as long as its creating the needed brand awareness.

The main goal is to be in d headlines.

To have tongues waggling when they hear ur name/product and that's exactly what the OBIdients are doing


Peter Obi needs all the possible attention but he's making a big mistake by mentioning the name of Tinubu.

Mentioning his name (whether for good or bad) is just like giving him free advert.



Do u know what makes a music trend?
Its never the music quality.


Lets use the talentless singer PORTABLE as an instance.


1. u join a popular record label.

2. u release any good or useless song.

3. Ur record label heavily pays about 100 radio stations, TV stations, etc to play ur song.

Once Anyone puts d radio, ur song is first thing they hear

4. They pay influencers in tiktok, Instagram, twitter, etc to talk about ur song.


That's how a song becomes a hit.

Just be on d headlines like portable is doing.

Signing brand deals despite being hated



I once told a kid that I sell premium softwares like Grammarly, Quillbot, canva pro, turnitin, VPN, etc for as low as 3k. And that my contact details were in my nairaland profile.

Someone thought it was a negative advertisement.

No...!!! It can't be.

That I was talking to a kid doesn't render d advert invalid

Moreover, no matter how much I speak or shout about it, it can never be likened to an empty barrel that's making noise.

If it were , I wouldn't have received a call from Someone yesterday.

Someone that called me to let me know of how my nairaland post healed him from over 12 years of HIV/AIDS.

The other caller said his own case was 8 years of madness. His relatives already gave up on him after exhausting ALL their physical and spiritual options.

Its OK if you don't believe me or if you think I'm telling lies.


God bless Nigeria.
God bless our President.
God bless me.

.



Tales of a childish adult


This reminds of many years ago when I first met our landlords daughter: a lady sent from heaven to me.

Forever willing to allow me handle her bress.

At the age of 13, that was the greatest blessing I could ever pray for. That was about 16 years ago though.

As at then, i wasn't having dreams of being a doctor or engineer yet.

I had no need for cars, houses or money.

But you see...

Oh my god...!!! I don't even know how to express the joy I get from seeing that lady cos I knew our agenda was same.

She'd wait for everyone at home to be busy in d parlous before we'd go to an empty room and oh....

Not again...!!!

I'm already getting same goose pimple and excitement of years ago.

OK, she'd partially bring out one of her balloons and let me feel what it means to be 'alive' from her bossom.

I couldn't comprehend why something that's the size of a tangerine gave me happiness that's higher than a mountain.

The handling/secret affair continued for weeks till one day, my cousin being a childish adult of about 23 years caught us.

I nearly died of shock that day.


Here's why I'm bringing up this story and how it relates to the topic....


At first ,he was disgusted by our act.

He shouted...

"Chiiiisos kraist of Nazalet....!!! So this is what u people have been doing? God forbid...!!! I will tell ur mummy for you"

We pleaded all we could and luckily , his heart was moved to pity.

He started eating my meat for about 4 days but I dared not complain.

I washed his clothes too cos he threatened that if I don't comply, he'd expose d secret.

I stole money from mums purse for him.

I fetched water that he was supposed to fetch

This continued till one day, he came to me with a strange fire in his eyes.

It took him up to a minute before he opened up to me.

He wanted me to talk to that lady.
He wants to be d only one pressing d bress of that 13 year old girl I was helping my life with .

Of course, If I don't comply he'd report me.

It's a long story though but that was how I missed out.

The threatened lady complied.

It later evolved to full blown consensual sex even though she was still about 16 then.

At about 18years or so, they later fell in love but I was completely out of d picture.

My cousin was just a childish adult and cried 'wolf' because he felt left out from d party.



Same way WIKE is crying wolf because he is left out from d party.

Out of 3 names, only one running mate is needed meaning that 2 guys would be left out.

In one way or the other , someone MUST miss out.

Same way everyone in a classroom can't take d first position at same time.

Have I killed myself for steadily taking the 44th - 47th position at school (out of 50 students) ?

No ooo...!!! We accepted who we are and continued with life.

I never complained about it on social media or nairaland.


let's all learn to accept situations and move on in life.

Threatening to spill secrets because u missed out only paints us black.

It burns bridges.

Taints our loyalty.

Makes us less trustworthy because no one trusts a snitch.

Let's learn to respect peoples decisions, both the pleasant and unpleasant ones.



Selling premium software's like Grammarly, Quillbot, Canva pro, Turnitin, VPN , etc for as low as 3k has really taught me a lot of life lessons even though i can't remember most of those lessons.

Don't blame me though.
I clearly made it know that I steadily took the 44th - 47th position at school (out of 50 students)

But I can't forget to keep secrets and accept whatever situation I find myself in.

For instance, would u believe that i 'secretly' hid my contact in my nairaland profile?


God bless Nigeria.
God bless our president.
God bless me.

As usual

Quite enlightening

Wow

Money is good

Let's watch out

Ok

Ok

gloryhomemaker:
This video shows a detailed delicious Beef Shawarma recipe at home. You can also learn how to make shawarma, a tasty beef wrap you and your family will enjoy. All details in the video.

Your taste bud will thank you when you give it varieties of healthy meals.

Ingredients:

Beef cuts
Cucumber
Cabbage
Carrots
Curry powder
Thyme leaves
Paprika powder
White pepper
Pepper(for extra spice)
Onions
Garlic
Ginger
Beef seasoning
Salt
Mayonnaise
Ketchup


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSdAskDgHHo

.


If its about food ...

I'd forever remain ur number one fan.


Who tastes all these stuffs u prepare?


Mehn...!!!


That person is enjoying ooo

.


A little bit of politics, a little bit of comedy

Here's my story....


Around February 2021, I entered same tricycle (keke) with a pregnant woman.

She was crying profusely while caring a sick child of about 2 years on her laps.

She kept on sobbing and muttering incoherent words till my instincts made me ask her...


Ma..., what's wrong?

That was actually where this whole story started.


She said...

"My son, i'm a receptionist at Abia state polytechnic"

She said she has worked there for over 8 years.


But that in the last 1½ years, they've not been paid any salary.

The husband (a lecturer there ) was sacked recently.


I shouted at her saying...

"Madam, if u r not being paid, why not stop working? "

At that point, the pregnant woman that was previously crying stopped crying ooo.

She started laughing at me.

I felt embarrassed by her laughter.


She now explained to me d reality I still find hard to comprehend.

She said that the authorities actually want staffs to stop coming to work.

The minute u stop coming to work, u get replaced with other persons that are on standby praying to get the job.

Hence, everyone has to show up daily but pray things get better (while things worsen)

Its been over a year since this happened and finally, the news is taking the headlines.


But how can u owe a worker for 3 years, then comfortably sleep at night?

Then still force him/her to come to work daily?


NOTE: Its not just teachers alone. Government nurses are being owed too. In good months, they get part payments (not full salary).

The governor coming up to deny this Is laughable.

Even if u finally get paid, it would be delayed for months.

And stuffs still deducted from it.


I once heard some unconfirmed rumours that the salaries of workers (in it's bulk form) are first deposited in banks for it to accrue interests before they r being withdrawn to pay workers.

Imagine if d salary of all workers in ur state for d month is 1 billion naira, and ur governor puts that money in d bank for a month and gets 1% interest on it.

1% of a billion naira is already 10million naira profit (just for a month).


Why then won't workers be owed for 6 months?

But like I said, its unconfirmed rumors and I wasn't referring to any governor.


Anyway, let's hope that we all would carry these billions in earthly wealth to heaven (or hell) when we die.


Back to the story...

After she narrated her ordeal, my soul was touched .

I wanted to give her a million naira instantly for her child's medical bill but my bank balance said to me....

"Hey son, remember where u r from. You only sell premium softwares like Grammarly, Quillbot, Canva pro, Turnitin, VPN, etc for as low as 3k. And you've been hiding ur contact details in ur Nairaland profile"


That quick reminder made me to put my mouth where my pocket can reach.

I gave her 3k, then bade her goodbye as I alighted at Opobo junction.

May God keep her, provide for her and make her witness the day her salaries would be paid on time.

With God, A better Nigeria is possible.

God bless Governor Okezie Ikpeazu
God bless our President.
God bless Nigeria.
God bless me

.


In life, there are no winners or losers. Just SURVIVORS


What one might term a defeat today might actually be a blessing in disguise.
An obstacle meant to prepare our mind for something bigger.

That I sell premium softwares like Grammarly, Quillbot , Turnitin, Canva pro, VPN, etc for as low as 3k might seem as though I've been defeated in life.

And that I fixed my contact details in my Nairaland profile might seem like I'm no longer winning.

But that's wrong.

It's a blessing in disguise.
I'm a survivor...!!!


Let's learn to live as one.
Instead of discriminating ourselves with tags like 'winner' and 'defeated'

In life, no one is truly defeated unless u decide to give up.

In the end, what counts isn't winners or losers.

Rather, its 'who survived'.

And what u achieved while surviving


God bless our President.
God bless Nigeria.
God bless me.

Beasts

Lol...!!!


One day, herdsmen would slaughter people in sokoto...

And this Ebubeagu would head straight to IMO state , then kill youths in a bet9ja shop.

They'd say they are ESN commanders and warriors.

And that their gallant security forces quickly swooped into action based on a reliable tip off from their highly technical and tactical information system.

That those youths were killed in their camp after a fierce gun battle that lasted for two hours.

And of course, they'd claim that 14 of the ESN members were killed while others fled into the bush with Various degrees of gunshot wound.

The situation has also been calmed down and totally under control. The police also urges everyone to go about their normal daily activities without interference.

Lol...!!!


I always ask...

Why would Ebubeagu go after ESN?

They are same security unit.
From same state.
Created to serve same purpose.

Previously brothers from same state before they joined different security units in same state.


I also ask myself...

How would a man feel pulling the trigger on innocent guys, then go back home to hug their own children?

These are beasts...!!!

Beasts in human skin.

Before I kill Xmas goat, I feel so much pains and sometimes, I even pray for the goat to forgive me and for its soul to be accepted in heaven. Not to even mention killing my fellow man.

Even wild animals hardly kill each other unprovoked.


Those that killed those youths deserve slow 'death from a thousand cut'.

Most of u haven't heard of it before but I'd explain.

'Death by a thousand cut ' is an ancient death penalty punishment for people.

Cutting off a murderers head or killing them using a gun is being TOO MERCIFUL. They won't feel any pains for the crime they committed. That's why d thousand cut method was invented.

First, the persons eyes would be plucked out so that he won't even see what's happening.

His ears would be cut.

Followed by His nose, fingers, tongue, toes, penis,etc.

It'd be done gradually and can last for 3days to a week till the person finally dies out of pains (or starvation because he won't be given any food).


Anyway, I'm just speaking out of anger.


Truly, no one deserves death.

Not the holy.
Not the sinful.

We all deserve mercy and a right to life.


Even when u are writing a formal essay , ebook, sales page, etc, making a mistake isn't the end of d road. You are not supposed to get a death penalty.

Rather, simple premium softwares like Grammarly, Quillbot, Turnitin, etc can help u easily get back on track.

And I've been contributing to humanity by selling some for as low as 3k.

And I still deliberately made lives happier by dropping my contact details in my Nairaland profile.

Of course, u can reach out to me right now if u wish.


God bless President Buhari
God bless Nigeria
God bless me

Wow

gloryhomemaker:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNh-LwjjfcU

Egusi soup is widely eaten across the states in Nigeria. This video details the step by step guide on how I make the thick style of Egusi soup for either home use or parties.

Egusi soup is one of the Nigerian soups that when well-prepared gives a craving for more.

In this video, there is a guide on how to make Egusi soup with Uziza leaves, Scent Leaves and Goat Meat, the no frying, lumpy Egusi soup we all love to eat.

You can replicate this and let's see how it came out for you.

Ingredients:


Egusi Seeds/Melon Seeds
Goat Meat
Osu
Okpei
Palm Oil
Uziza Leaves
Scent Leaves
Yellow Scent Pepper
Crayfish
Seasoning
Salt
Onions
Stock fish
Dry Fish

.



As long as its food...


I'm ur number one fan.


I'm definitely trying this out this weekend

.

.

Could this be true?

God, save your children

Dankovich1:
Her voice in the oza room will always be like "Ride on pastor"

.


I give up on nairalanders.


There's nothing one won't see here

JONNYSPUTE:
..... You dey try. Only fueling of my car and the generator on daily is more than 5k.

Children's breakfast and the ones in their food packs alone cost like 4k daily.

Then 150 naira ice cream for each on their way back from school for 4 kids is like 600 naira.

Fueling of my wife's car everyday is like 2000 naira. Other unforseen expenses like refusing to eat what's available in the house and buying them snacks on my way home .
Let's say I spend like 14 to 15k.

.


May God keep on multiplying the source of your income.


As a single guy, I'm still scared of getting married because of the burden involved.


If there's a job opportunity at your place of work, please beep me.

I'd relocate.


Contact is in my profile. Posting it here would definitely get me a 100years ban from the moderators

.

gloryhomemaker:
Tiger nuts drink is a refreshing drink full of many health benefits, it is widely enjoyed by all.

It's a great benefit to men if you know what I mean

This video shows how to make it by yourself the healthy way without any added artificial sugar.

Ingredients:

1. Fresh Tiger nuts
2. Coconuts
3. Dates
4. Ginger
5. Drinking water


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDV858DSAX4

.

Once I see a post from u here on nairaland, I become happier by 93.42%

Not because of u sha.

But because of the fact that food must be involved.


I just love food.

Especially, when it comes in a variety or as a surprise.

gloryhomemaker:


They don marry us finish for house

.


Mehn...


Lots of men with sharp eyes in this country.


OK, may I be coming for holidays?
I can wash plate very well (after eating)


Without eating, I can't do anything ooo