₦airaland Forum

Juju will help you out here

naijababe: ^ Correct naija graduate, that's how it's done

The 'ma fo akpata lori e' (will smash a rock on your head) type, abi?

AjanleKoko: Togo ke.

I do not mind o, since it is outside naija things, moreso I will be called 'tokunbo' grad.

Nawa oh! Na foriegn grads plenty for here so o, I need to jet out of the country for mine too, I won't mind getting one from Togo sef

Where is Odunnu?

Dis Guy: Defensive ke i dey kampe in my own lil corner

more like why are you being 'aggressive' atleast everyone now know you get kwanta
with anyone with a foreign degree

reminds one of Ishmael who won't stop beating BSc student with his 'proper' HND

Proper HND?? Hahahaha

Baba Oyo, goodluck, but pray that it turns out good, I am sure you know what you are doing.

Btw, can you allow your 15 year old daughter to have a boyfriend/get laid now

This is interestingly crazy!



Wait! I made it, whaoh! I will like to thank everyone for this feat, Mr Seun Osewa, Mrs. Mukinat Adekanmbi, Sir AJ, Prof Esere, Sixteen08, waleajijim, jarushub.com, and my other Ogas @the top, also to my siblings, A.y, I see you o, we go see soon........(Sorry for that jare) and finally to my...........sweet potatoe. God bless you all.

Nb: I couldn't resist the temptation, I hate 'dem' first to comment guys, but I have to do this today, since it is my first, mods don't punish me o.

Thank you all, I love you.

Mehn! I love.....sorry like this Lupey gurl o, she is intelligent upstairs and she is endowed downstairs too, if I no vote for her, I dey mad.

So, sexkill abi what is your name? You should know that lupey has it all for me.

Whaoh! Enlighten you more about the job?? You are simply a marketer, and you will do a lot of 'meeting targets' and what have we.

Squarebb: Am a guy of 20yr,my dream course is to become chemical engineer,bt there is pressure from my parent that i should become a nurse becos is fast and they are well paid,i av try to convince them bt no avail.pls advice me,am i too old to study chemical engineer and wat shuld i do to convince them,and to be successful.tanx

This is baffling, at the age of 20, you are still thinking of what to study, when your mates are already graduates, corpers and some in their final and penultimate year, nawa o!

Anyway, to your question, it depends on what you like and your O'level result as well, an engineer is completely different from a nurse, okay, let's take it this way:

Chemical Engineering- you must be good and have at least five credits in maths, physics, chemistry, english and maybe further maths.

Nursing- English, Biology, Chemistry, maybe Agric science as well as other relevant subjects.
(You can check Jamb brochure for details)

So assess yourself and use that to determine what will be the best to do based on your abilities. Papa and mama are looking at short-term returns, which is good, but long term too should be considered.

Basically, assess yourself, then think deeply on what you want for yourself and make your intentions known to them with good reasons, meanwhile you too must be the serious type when you are in school so you can come out as the best.

God help you.

Acidosis: 3years? never knew

But even @ that, its better to prepare for it early.. while preparing for JAMB & SSCE alongside.

The best.

@OP, go register for ICAN with your O'level result, you will start from ATS level or so, then focus on your Jamb and SSCE too, don't think it is multi-tasking o, cos we weren't informed during our time, believe me, by the time you graduate, you are already chartered. Betterstill, you can go for ACCA, one thing is that you should target a degree in accounting/finance/banking and your ICAN/ACCA, and that is very possible in the next four and a half to five years. God help you and good luck.

^^^ nice one, but you forgot to mention it that ICAN qualification is at least three years for an SSCE holder, so he should be ready to spend at least six years with your route, and that is if he does take the ICAN exams once (without a re-sit).

Ijebu

Tapa

Jarus: Thanks.

I do see Builders Mart around Lekki, my route to and from work. Didnt know what they do there. I will check it out.

Yeah, need it for my house.

A discussion in office this morning triggered it.

I also need a giant sledge hammer that can break a human being's head.

These things can be life-saving

I thought those boys do disturb your area as well.

ohiza: D truth is pple now do dis CDS tin 2 game recognition by d Govt,..so dey will either be employed or giving ramson,.....individuals want 2 spoil d name of CDS 2 personal Instress(PI).....d aim of d project nids 2 be knw before awards are bin Givin
Fake corp man with Number KW/12B/0069,...leave ur legacy deir and get remembered by d offa pple and deir prayers shall be with U,..not all dis ur stylish tins,...Tank U all

Mehn! You murdered English language here o.

Good input anyway.

^^^ Even 10 too much sef, if they should, then there won't be graduate recruitment next year (a guess).

Meanwhile their cut-off is very high, so if shortlisted, start big-time preparation for their test, it is survival of the fastest and smartest! (Talking from experience).

Acidosis: hmmn... Good Work, Sir




But did you do all these because of the recognition?

Real philantropists despise publicity.
Not the Nigerian type of philantropists who spend 10million on bill boards, placards and T-shirts, for a donation less than 1million naira.


Anyway, you've contributed your quota and God will surely reward your selfless efforts. God bless you.

Exactly, it is GOD that will reward him, forget about public recognition, believe me, when it is his time to be recognised throughout, nothing can stop it.

So Mr Chidozie from Anambra, gboju joooor!

Where is Jarus??

koyes: Abi oo,true talk...what some pple like nitrogen don't know is that 'those to come' may face tougher times-more ridiculous qualification requirements.pple don't realise that until their policies starts to affect their own children.our God of mercy and justice is alive...I no wan argue further.

Lol @bolded

koyes: The link that was given in the 1st post is malfunctioning and the one I saw in the new paper is giving me an error page.

Why not go through their website

One thing is that it isn't about US but about THOSE coming. Cest fini.

esere826: bad morally, but probably could be acceptable. depends on the individual

I heard of a set of twins who were born months apart http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/30/twins-born-87-days-apart-ireland-guiness-record_n_3186135.html

Now, imagine they both went to the KPMG test
Kehunde was 27 in the year 2013 (27th BD is 11/12/2013)
and Taiwao was 26 in the year 2013 (27th BD is 1/2/2014)

All in Nigeria with its rough and hyper competitive terain

How would Kehinde feel if he is turned back for being too old when the recruitment process is billed to end July 2013
while Taiwo is accepted

How do we evaluate morals?
what can we actually call bad?
is it same in all environments and is it a one size fit all?

Whaoh! What a case, but such is always one in a billion.

Prof, about morals, I do think we shouldn't do this here, we have derailed the thread already, we wouldn't want to complicate it with the concepts of morality and what have we. Maybe another place and time.

Lesson learnt has been stated so CASE CLOSED.

koyes: @ nitrogen:you know,I understand the message you are trying to pass accross but you should realize that most times,things we've planned don't always play out the way we expected it to be.sometimes,its not because of poor planning but that unforseen circumstances befall us all.I can tell from your posts that its either you are in your early 20s or you already have a job,which ever should explain why you are so sentimental on this issue...

Am I? To be candid, I know 'as e dey go', what am just saying is that we should not make those coming fall into the same ditch that we fell into, let us tell them cos those excuses will never be okay for justification later-on.

You talked about circumstances, do you know that some of us actually did the planning but played away our precious time?

A lot of lessons learnt anyway.

Pension deduction is equal to 7.5 percent of your gross emoluments/income (for private organisations), perhaps, your income increased by a hundred percent too If so, then pension deduction will increase at the same rate (100 percent), but wait, maybe some other deductions came with the increase

esere826: Lessons Learnt

Guys and Gals if you feel you have the brain power to fit into these roles
and you look and feel young,
jeje go reduce ya age via age declaration

afterall Taribo West was accused of being very old, but yet, it was acknowledged he played better than many of the younger folks.
If he used his true age, he probably would not have been given a chance and he might be a vulcaniser now

(^^^^assuming he's really older than he claimed)


"Eneke the bird says that since men have learnt to shoot without missing, he has learnt to fly without perching" (Chinue Achebe)

Baaaaaadddd! Morally, it is unacceptable.

One thing is this: the saying that 'the end justifies the means' may actually be wrong, it should be 'the means justify the end'.

Meanwhile, I think the take-home package should be that we should ensure that those coming (our children) are encouraged to do the necessary (in terms of education) at the right time, this can be done in many ways, but the one that should help most is scaring them with all these we see daily.

Basically, we should ensure that they get the best education at the earliest time(possible).

Hey! Be cool, don't panic, develop a very good and attractive CV and cover letter, start applying now (very important), send to different companies in different sectors, write professional exams that relate to your field (or another you desire to change to) during your sevice, not those shitty programs advertised to you guys during orientation camp (PPMP, IPMP, EMMP, and others), then tell God to crown your efforts. Basically, start applying NOW, meanwhile, it can be any company so you can start from somewhere.

Note: It isn't about how far but how well. Enjoy!

koyes: Are you now implying that graduates above 26 are dull,old and weak? Can you see how ridiculous that sounds?

Esere pegged the range 20-27, for me, I think the range should be 19-25, (my thoughts anyway).

Look at this: there are a hundred positions available, and age limit is 30 years, at long run, there are two hundred or more that fits the position (last men standing), then age will aid selection, a 21 year old grad will be preferred to a 26 year old graduate, both are qualified while one is very much younger and even like a prospect.

The 27 year old will soon get married and dedication is reduced, if a lady, then maternity leave is on the way (three months?? Ridiculous! if I may say)........especially when the org has shareholders' wealth maximization as her objective.

Sir AJ has said it all anyway, so I guess we are cool.

esere826: This age thing is extremely bad
a couple of my friends went for the KPMG test and were turned back
One of them was 26 which was within the age limit but they told him that he will be 27years at December 2013 and rejected him.

I almost feel tempted to take the case up and present it to KPMG headquarters
I am sure that some HR executives in Nigeria will be disciplined for that

I do not think it is bad, one thing is that sharp, young and agile minds are needed, or should I ask that why is it a fresh graduate position For me to avoid bashing, lemme stop here

Sploofic: exactly y we came here. Our former thread was desecrated by some rude guys. And nw u scared many pple away 4rm here coz dey think u are part of d pple we ran away 4rm. But i knw u're nt coz i don do plenty research on u. We just want 2 hav a place 2 freely discuss. Like i said its a private thread. We dnt want any intrusions. As soon as we're done, it will be closed

Whaoh! Plenty research on me? Quite hilarious, anyway, enjoy!

ikillmods: It is only in Lagos dat I witnessed a mad man looking at himself in a tinted glass of a bank along Marina on Lagos island, the mad man got angry for no reason known to me till-date, started cursing his image on the glass, he got so furious with his reflection, picked up a stone aimed the glass, and the unexpected happens, he starts to laugh sarcastically at his image. On-lookers laughed too. Then he did the worst, he threw the stone at the glass, and the on-lookers all awed. Upon breaking the glass, the bank security guard came out furious, but he offed his top uniform only had his singlet and trousers on. Upon trying to grab the mad, the mad man scrammed, behold the security man ran after the mad man shoutin "OLE OLE, E BAMI MU", meaning"THEIF THEIF, HELP ME CATCH HIM". The mad man ran into. The ever busy balogun market, thereby causing anarchy and confusion, oooooohhhh boy, comε and see as people were running, nobody knew which one of them was truly mad.
The only thing that really got me sad was the fact that the security man got sacked for constituting nuisance.

Omg! Laughter don kill me for here o.