₦airaland Forum

Priceless007:
Hello Nairalanders,

It's a long story, but I'll try to keep it short and to the vital points. Please endure the length.

There's a girl i met at a theological college in where I was studying to become a clergyman and also learning a skill under the civil engineering department of the college. She was my junior in the course, as I was a year away from graduating from my first course, while she was just a fresher. She was always having issues getting through her courses and projects and would always ask for my assistance since I was the course rep in that department. It was forbidden to have any intimate relationship with your course mate or anyone in the college for that matter, the penalty would be expulsion. But unfortunately for me, out of sheer lust and seduction on her part, and gross indiscipline and lack of self control on my part, I got intimate with her and we ended up committing fornication during one of our semester vacations. And it just happened once, of which out of deep regret and remorse I confessed the matter to the college Admin when the next semester resumed. We were panelled, after which I was suspended, while she was expelled.

During this time I was learning a skill sponsored by the college, of which I use to get paid some weekly stipend. After I was suspended I was also stopped from continuing my apprenticeship, because I was not to associate with any of the students or lecturers in the school while my suspension lasted. So I was without a job and without a source of income since I wasn't yet mastered on the skill. The condition that was given to me to resume my studies and apprenticeship was that I should go and get married before I could come back to college, so as not to be tempted to repeat my error. But I wasn't ready for marriage whether financially or any other wise for that matter. So while I was contemplating my next move, this girl came to me that she was pregnant, that she needed us to go and see her parents. I told her I had no money neither was I ready to father a child at this point in my life. I pleaded she should give me time to think about what next to do. Two weeks passed, and I called her to enquire about her welfare but her number wasn't reachable, I decided to go to her place, but I was told she had travelled a week ago to go see her family. A week later, I received a call from a woman telling me she was the girl's mother, that her daughter came home with a pregnancy, and she asked me if I was responsible for the pregnancy, I answered her in the affirmative. She then asked when I was coming to see her family. I told her I wasn't sure about coming to see them that I needed to speak to the girl first. She said okay, then later that day the girl called me, and I told her to come back for us to talk deliberate on the way forward. When she came she told me her parents (who are by the way divorced) will not accept her nor the pregnancy without me coming to see them for marriage arrangements.

I explained to her I wasn't ready for any such thing, that I have a calling to answer and a course to finish, that what happened between us was just a stupid and careless mistake that has been as a setback for me to achieve my goal, and that I was ready to overcome the trials and get back on track, and I explained to her that before then I had neither dated nor been intimate with anyone for over seven years, and so any kind of relationship or marriage was not even in my nearest future plans, and besides, I didn't even have a job, not to mention having enough money to embark on a marriage plan. She said she would never accept such excuse, that I should look for whatever means to make sure I come see her parents before her pregnancy becomes obvious. She also said that she needed money to move her belongings back to Imo state where her family resides. I agreed to raise some money for her. I went to do some menial jobs and raised some money, about ₦20k, which I gave to her and she traveled back to Owerri. From then on her parents kept calling and pressuring me to come and see them for marriage arrangements. I told them I was going to come, but just to introduce myself to them as the person responsible for their daughter's pregnancy not for any marriage arrangements. But they disagreed, that if I wasn't ready to come for marriage that I shouldn't bother coming. I pleaded with them to give me enough time to look for money to come and see them, but they instead started threatening me with court cases and arrests, at one time they brought the girl and some soldiers to my family house and harassed my family members including my mother.

So I later traveled to Benin city to go look for money. After one week of my arrival in Benin, I lost my phone and I couldn't retrieve my number. I lost connection with them until I got back to Uyo where I got her phone number from a friend of hers. At this time, I was told that they came to my house several times with police officers claiming I raped their daughter and impregnated her then absconded. At this, I established contact with the girl again and she told me that I should not bother her that she wasn't in the mood to talk to me, I kept calling her but she often ended up abusing me or we often times ended up in quarrels, so I left her alone for sometime.

Two weeks ago I related the matter to one of my distant uncles, who advised me to gather some money and go see her, I called her and told her I wanted to come and see her before she puts to bed, which is expected to be sometime next month (August). But she told me that she still stands by what her parents had said, if it's not for the marriage issue that I should not come, that I should rather send her the money I would use in coming so she can use it to buy the baby clothing and buy some hospital requirements before she puts to bed. I called her parents and they told me the same thing, and said if I don't come for the marriage agreement before she puts to bed, that after she's delivered of the baby I should forget ever coming, and should never mention that I have a child anywhere not to mention coming to claim it ever in the future. And that I should just forget about her and the child.

The issue now is this, I am a bit frustrated because I seem to have lost everything at the moment because of this issue; my calling, the skill I was learning is gone, I have no job aside the menial jobs I do at construction sites which isn't available regularly. Now the little I have saved so far, I am contemplating on whether to use the money to pay for my skills training and continue with it and start my life afresh and forget about her, the child, and her parents, or use the money to support her in her hospital requirements for her delivery. Because I don't want to be seen as abandoning her when she is in this condition, and I also don't want to give up on the child, though I'm not capable of taking care of the girl and the baby right now, and probably, I might end up getting married but not under my present circumstances. I know I've made a grave mistake and this is the consequences for not being true to myself and my calling, and I deeply regret it, and I've suffered for it in any way I can possibly imagine, but I also need to put my life back in order, because right now I'm so devastated that I'm contemplating terrible alternatives to survive the storm, I'm at a very critical moment of my life and I just feel like giving up on life altogether. Please I need your help and advice on this issue. Thanks.

PS. Please if anyone is willing to teach me any skill, I would be very grateful and willing to learn.

Don't you have a family, parents? Go to your family and seek advice.

If I were to advice you, go pay the bride price, discuss with her family since they have the money to harass you with military and police, then they might have the money to sponsor a little marriage thing between you and their daughter. Thereafter discuss with them to help you look after your wife and your child while you back back to the school to finish your trainings and calls, but always make sure you send money to your wife and kid regularly, and visit them too and regularly support them emotionally and psychologically too.

seunmsg:
Is anybody stopping these young, articulative, smart, vibrant, digital young men who are politicians and technocrats and business mogul from contesting for president?

We are in a democracy and everybody that meets the constitutional requirements are allowed to legitimately aspire for any political office in the country. So, support your young, articulative and digital business mogul and leave the rest of us to support our old, analogue and archaic Tinubu and let’s see who will win at the end of the day.

Nobody is holding you guys. The only problem is putting millions of sane, right thinking people in trouble, when you elect those old expired good for nothing men. Like millions are suffering now because of you guys stupidity in the past elections.

Echoban:
Go

Name the person...

I really want to know

And you think Osinbajo is not South West Better Choice?

Abs76:
You can nominate a better candidate than him

And you think Osinbajo is not 1 million times South West better choice?

Echoban:
Ure not a politician.. is the man in deve bank an APC card carrying member?? Why not advise him to join Politics first??

There are young, articulative, smart, vibrant, digital young men who are politicians and technocrats and business mogul, who are far better than an old, analogue, archaic man you are fronting...

Nigerians really deserve their leaders. Because they always make the wrong choice out of ethnic, and religious sentiments.

BLAISECAMPAORE:
Tinubu we know and love.

Jagaban is loved from North to South for being a great and caring leader.

5% should either sit up & play politics or continue sponsoring ESN to behead their daughters and sacrifice their sons to Nnamdi Kanu.

So Tinibu is the best the South can produce?

The problem in this country is that most young people who are supposed to be thinking right and forwardly digital are dumb.

How can this man be the best from South West. You didn't even talk of the one in African Develipment Bank

MejiLoyon:
Staged... To whip up emotions.
The camera actually followed the assailant.
Like it was directed.
Them don dey learn work from UAR
That's why we are their big brother.

If you believe this then you believed sanwo olu caught those robbers.
You also believed that India was banned from football because the ball changed to a lion everytime it got near the keeper.

Or maybe the president, as common with most African politicians dey do jazz well ooo. This guys dey do jazz wella, which is why e dey hard that politicians in Africa get assassinated or get accident.

Once a sitting president dey anywhere, the entire camera go focus on him from all angles.

And to think say African countries no too get intelligences/ smart security, anybody fit enter where him dey.

Then finally, did you see how that closest aid hit the knife man? O boy no movie fit use that kind beating as film trick ooo.

I am so sure na him Jazz protected him

jetwonder:
Nice One! I Need More Of It.

Don't believe anything you read hook-line-sinker. Reason am critically.
First, if Reno wasn't proud of the dark history, why use the pronoun "WE" making himself part of that dark history?

Answer, he gas ulterior motive why he unknowingly was proudly associating himself with that dark history. And when this happens, people always doctor their story..

Slavery between people of a kind (blacks & blacks, Africans & Africans, Asians & Asians) always involved war, and conquering people and enslaving them. So I want to ask Reno, was there a history of war between the Benin and Igbos to make them take igbos in such numbers as slaves?

If there wasn't a war between the Benin and Igbos, then I smell that the igbos, Benin, and many blacks in nigeria were just slaved, harbored, transported enroute Benin, because they have water bodies. So since Benin served as warehouse/route for slaves from all over the south south and southeast, and those not been able to go that wicked journey, maybe due to ban, had to be released, and many found their closest possible destination and settled, while a few resilient ones found their way back to their various kinsmen.

Xscape1993:
Majority of blacks don't like good things. One good party should give this vast man a ticket ooo.

The truth remains, this guy by what he has done, seems to have the interest of the people at heart, but he is too naively innocent, having spent most of his time in America, to understand, play politics, and govern in a very politically stupid entity like Nigeria, without any sane system.
If he becomes a governor, he will only surround himself with home-based criminals who are politicians and they will play him the same way they played him in primaries, eventually he won't succeed as a governor. GEJ as an example.

Golden147:
Lol...I know this advice will eventually surface...but let me ask you.. How do you know a man who is ready for marriage, does age count too or it's because I added my age and her age??

Just your explanations show how immature you are. No offence. The excuses you gave for being confused and seeking advice is too flimsy of which a more mentality mature man would never give such as an excuse to get confused about marrying someone he loves.
Maturity comes when you know this world is full of risks and troubles and you try to manage yours without being confused or disorganised.

Officialgarri:
No. Not same oil.

First, Dubai is 3 times older than Nigeria
Second, Dubai's population is not even up to the population of Delta state alone
Third, the UAE oil is 3 times more than Nigerian oil reserve.

I'm not trying to justify our failure especially in the past, but only pointing out some facts that you are not considering.
Once upon a time when Gowon said "we have more money than know what to do with it"

You are already justifying it.... na the same oil, simple...
Let Akwa Ibom, Delta, or Rivers wey been small like UAE or even smaller than UAE use those billions wey them been dey get yearly do small magic make we believe say them get sense.

Just try make black man rule UAE for like 5 years, you go understand where the problem dey.

Emu4life:
They didn't release his name bcuz he has not been proven guilty. Good

But the police has made an arrest of that player and its all over the news... Sigurdsson

PlayMaker14:
Double Tragedy!!


You see this life ehn, it is the true master of disguise and a mystery we all can never comprehend....

Sometimes, it's just like a flower, Today, it's Here, Tomorrow it's Gone.

Imagine how devastated those left behind to mourn them will feel hearing this horrible news.

Before I opened this sad thread, I was listening to Wyclef song "DIALLO" and got to this part where he asked a question which I find very difficult to answer;

“Have you ever died
Only so you can live?
Have you ever lived
Only so you can die again, then be born again?

He was basically talking about reincarnation..

I remember that poetry back then in secondary school "Abiku"

theTranscriber:
don't export your nonsense
How are Igbos marginalised in Nigeria today?

You're still a kid, so you won't understand... the marginalisation even when you are told.

Goodvibes007:
Lol.
Japan is a very homogeneous country. He is going to stick out like a sore thumb.

He won't stick out at all. There are so many Nigerians, which I know, living in Japan and married to Japanese women to the extent that they have very big Associations and clubs. They have blacks in thousands in Japan.

His only problem would be identifying with the same name which he registered with at the Olympic, anywhere, because they have a working system where they are gonna put him on wanted list, and once he identifies with the name he bears at the Olympic venue, he go they read "wanted"

TMKsouth:
You don't understand the complex economic structure in SA, don't be fooled by the beautiful but divided cities (along both class and racial lines), there's serious inequality that stunts poor people's self determination from birth. Same thing happens even in developed countries among minority and marginalised groups. Many people have been able to escape it but others need help, which is not forthcoming.

If it were simple it would have been solved forever again. Best of luck with your independent igboland dream - hopefully everyone will be rich in it through their own "hard work".

Let them continue to blame everybody but themselves forever, and no go work hard ...

Looting and destruction solves no problem.

You loot alcohol and biscuits, and intimacy gadgets, carry them go they chop for your house, that's how you solve your problem?

They were blaming the whites when they were rulling them, now the blacks are rulling them, they are still blaming the blacks... lol... crazy people.

A lazy person always blames others for his misfortunes.

TMKsouth:
Do u expect disenfranchised people to riot just once in their lifetime? If the bad conditions continue on the ground then people will continue to protest against them. Why don't u instead ask how poverty, and inequality (the worst in the world), can be addressed in SA instead of blaming the victims of an unjust system.

You guys are like them, always blame others for your problem and misfortune, and don't take responsibility.
There system has been fixed, at least enough infrastructure and conducive environment for any hard working person to prosper. Syeady electricity, good schools, hospitals, roads, and enough investments. South is like the head quarters of Africa. Every business who wants to base in Africa will think of South Africa first. That's why many responsible immigrants go there empty handed and made it in life.

Take a clue from how marginalised Igbos are in nigeria, yet lots of them keep being prosperous and working so hard without folding their hands and shouting destruction waiting for any poverty or inequality to be addressed.

South Africa has enough infrastructure to make any hard working person successful without waiting for any govt to give them money.

My goodness, why are you defending stupidity?

Did you see how beautiful and developed South africa is, I mean, from the photos? I haven't see any nigeria street that developed.....

TMKsouth:
Below: London riots (2011) & Paris "Yellow Vests" riots (2019)

Your darling whites burning down their cities.

cc Srrrr

If these happens once in a while like it happens anywhere in the world, it could be understood. But those guys have made these destruction almost a yearly ritual. Have you forgotten just last year or so how they started killing fellow blacks in gruesome manner and burning down their country?
When someone has continued to make the same mistake often, the person is termed stupid and foolish.

These people do these out of fun, they love seeing their beautiful cuties destroyed. They hate progress and envy people progessing.
Just mark my words, they will repeat this carnage in a no distant time. Its not done out frustration, its done out of fun, wickedness and envy. They are just waiting for any slight opportunity to start the destructions.

srrrr:
A poor population with very high unemployment rate and strong resentment for the government, that's a bubble already. All it takes is for a small group of thieves to start the looting and then it will generate into mass looting and destruction. It's called mob mentality and can happen anywhere in the world.

It is a almost a yearly thing. Have you forgotten just last year when they were killing fellows blacks, Nigerians too and burning down their cities?

It is a yearly thing almost. When someone continues to make the same mistakes often, the person is termed stupid and foolish.

These people do these out of fun, they love seeing their beautiful cuties destroyed. They hate progress and envy people progessing.
Just mark my words, they will repeat this carnage in a no distant time. Its not done out frustration, its done out of fun, wickedness and envy. They are just waiting for any slight opportunity to start the destructions.

srrrr:
Remember that you're black too. If you call blacks fools, then you're also referring to yourself as a fool. Most Nigerians condemn other people apart from themselves, and they feel they know more than others and are quick to condemn other people, but they know almost nothing. Only idiots behave this way, that's why Nigeria is one of the biggest idiocracy in the world.

Just listen to yourself, do you have a working brain? You ended up doing what you accused others of doing...

You ended up correcting me using the same language... you accused one of....

Read the write-up I have again, take away sentiments, and see why no sensible human will do what those south Africans are doing to the country they live in and claim they love. Total destruction. ....

Only animals will cause such destruction to their country....

To be honest, your reasoning is so poor if you don't see anything bad and condemable with this destruction, instead you saw bad in my choice of words, leaving off the egregious acts of the foolish South Africans.

I wonder why those fools chased oyinbo out of nigeria in 1960 in the name of independent? Imagine if oyinbos had rulled nigeria until 90's with the kind of money made from oil, omo nigeria for beautiful pass Qatar

Just look at how planned and beautiful South Africa is just because they allowed the oyinbos colonised them longer.... now the stupid black idiots are he'll bent on destroying these beautiful cities.

Mayng01:
USA own don happen, followed by Germany with death toll rising. It’s Nigeria’s turn now. No be you dey complain say rain has not been falling. Enjoy!

Floods in developed countries happen once in a while as a result of serious climate change. But lagos own happens yearly once there is rainy season, as a result of poor city planning and so many stupid man-made mistakes and negligence.

englishmart:
Just a coincidence.
Death is unpredictable

There are certain diseases that are classified terminal and there are certain stage a terminal illness will get to, in advanced countries, the doctors will tell the person the number of days he had left....

CivilianJTF:
Sure, he knew!

Of course.. the doctors would have told him...

Na dumb person dey video the stuff. Why can't he get the video fully?

DoggoneDogg:
Japan and Russia are not mates historically.

US has not won a war in 100 years don't forget.

Now after the WW1 people like you their eyes come clear them come understand in a hard way how Japan was just empty noise makers. Nobody knew before the bomb dropped in Japan.

Mind you, before WW1, Japan was one of the most if not the most advanced and developed countries in the world, technology-wise.

Nobody thought, or ever dreamt US had the "baby boy" bomb dropped in hiroshima and nakkazaki. ;

Japan bullied US so much that they were the first to launch an attack on US military base....

"They have never won a war in hundred years" football don enter your head well, you come dey use football matches dey interchange am with war. U for check too USA and Russia head to head naa

DoggoneDogg:
If they could, they would have. Like all bullies, the US is all noise & no balls.

Russia will reduce mainland USA to glass if they dare.

Some nigerians.... lol...... Russia reduce USA to glass �.. ask Japan how e hot them During WW1 when they were flexing muscles with the gentle giant.

Empty barrel makes the loudest noise.....

U suppose take a clue from small israel wey be USA apprentice , how them take intercept thousands of missiles from Palestine.....

musicwriter:
Not richest man in history.

The richest man in history is Mansa Musa from Mall in West Africa. Estimated worth $400 Billion.

Na so dem take deceive una for book. Criminal wey stole his country wealth you dey regard as richest? Which richest? Ask anybody wey tell u dat rubbish to show you one business linked to that criminal Mansa Musah?

Criminals are not rated as richest, ask Pablo Escoba, the dirty drug baron of Colombia...

ogbosun:
Must all come from USA

Yes... yes please... America is the land of opportunities..... Bad belle people tag them evil, yet they have done much more good for the world and for any human who found himself there than anywhere else in the world......


Make una wey dey Africa continue electing zombies based on ethnic, religious and bigotry sentiments, so that them go they produce world's poorest individuals they go.....

Ikwerelastborn:
please stop flushing condoms through the toilet ,it could block it ,after using a condom kindly roll it up and put in the waste bin.I just arrived at a hotel in lagos and saw a used condom inside the DC cistern .its wrong

You want make all these ritualists wey full naija come use person sperms do juju?

dmbb:
Relax nothing will happen to you

I keep wondering why there are so many stupid people in this country irrespective of educational, political, social or religious status?

How do we explain that these educated grown people don't have life jackets on while travelling on a rickety locally fabricated canoe?

When something happens, they either blame God or devil...

Zero value for life, no wonder the death rate here is skyrocketing and nobody cares...

triple996:
Meanwhile fufu people are busy burning infrastructures in their region bt come online to call northerners illiterates only to be shocked at the dominance and control northerners have over d country.

It's not about dominance, because that's the only thing black people want, dominance and power.. its about the masses having better standard of living like Arab nations have... The North and the entire black nation lack in this aspect. If such control and dominance don't turn the ordinary man on the streets of North having a better life, then the control and dominance is pure stupidity.

The only thing a black man knows is, money, power, dominance and women.... these they abuse grossly.....