eyinjuege:


The key to your happiness only lies with you, not your husband. Once you completely understand that principle, you will take life with a pinch of salt. Humans will always be humans
Go where you are celebrated. Pick up new hobbies, and start looking after yourself more. It's easy for married couples to let themselves go, and not bother with their appearance anymore. Start looking after yourself, Do that for yourself, it gives a boost to your self confidence and sense of worth.
Hook up with old friends that you trust and have things in common with, and make new friends. You live a richer, fuller life.
Your husband may have discovered this. Do same.
I'm not in support of his friend living with you guys though. Talk to your husband you're not comfortable with his friend living with you, and you want your privacy in the home. There are times you want to walk about half naked, but that will be difficult with strangers of the oppsosite sex. Let him give you a time frame the friend will be leaving.

merahki:
Dear OP
I find it somewhat disturbing that you have got no friends, do not want any friends but your best friend-husband who is clearly is not on the same page (as evidenced by his actions)
I really think it is unhealthy to invest all your emotions in your spouse. This must be draining for both of you I feel. He smiles and it is sunshine, he frowns and it is a storm. Then the main thing- he keeps company and your world is torn apart like this
You need to get a life and I say this without any malice intended. Your husband belongs with you, and you with him, but nowhere is it okay for you guys not to have other, healthy relationships
From what I can deduce, even an angel hanging out with your husband will come off smelling like rotting (or rotten) fish to you
For me the root cause of everything is this insecure feeling you have, which comes from a place of fear. Your reactions would always be off as a result.
But, I could be wrong though (I hope I am)

I have no words regarding the house guest/gay/ leading astray/confrontations situation. I just responded to the intense thirst (panicked neediness) residing in your post.
Good luck

LadySarah:


You are right to need his attention and to be preinformed if there will be an additional roomate.

whatever precedence yoi set today will influence what goes on fro now.Dont beg him

Make sure the stupid mofo doesnt come back anymore,let hell loose.If he had common sense,he would encoursge your husby to go bond with you when you are around.

His anger wil cool and then he will come around nd communicate.Thats what two adults in a rshp do.

crackhaus:

You don't have to exaggerate to earn the sympathy of your readers.

crackhaus:

Lol

You're just being jealous. This is cute by the way, your husband shouldn't even be this mad at you. If I were to be in his shoes, i would be laughing at you.

Okay seriously now, you know what usually works?
I tell my friends, just say exactly how you're feeling instead of reacting and making a blunder (like you did twice).
Tell the father of your kids that you're jealous and you miss him and the time you used to spend together. Also apologize for the gay comment and the call you made to his friend.

crackhaus:

You seem like a troublesome person.

You don't like his friend, good. But unless this friend of his did something particularly upsetting to you personally, then I don't understand why you're taking out your dissatisfaction with your husband's new behaviour on him.

Your husband didn't inform you before inviting him over to stay at your house, okay. How is it the fault of his friend?

What you're doing is reacting impulsively to a credible threat to your marriage but misdirecting it at the wrong person. Your husband is who you should be focused on, not his friend.
If you have tried to talk to your husband and he's not changing back to how you would like him to be, you don't take it out on the friend, you keep trying.

Telling his friend to stay away is quite an immature route to take, and frankly makes you look like a jealous side-chick who's not sure of her place in the life of her man..

Act like a wife, not a side-chick.

SmellingAnus:
see your life... So his friend even has three girlfriends... Madam, no matter how good a woman is , once she makes the house a place of war instead of peace, the man will will search for a place of peace which may most likely end in the laps of another woman.... Just pray he does end in the laps of Delilah... Your approach was obviously the problem since you were reacting based on the assumption that you are sure he is gay...

UjuJoan2:


I understand your frustration madam, but accusing him of being gay just because he is close to his friend is going too far.

There are a number of reasons why your husband would prefer his friend's company to yours, and most have noting to do with sexual orientation.

He is thrilled to have a pal around to do 'guy things' with, and not be bothered about boring family responsibilities. It's a phase that will pass.

What you need to do is to try and win his attention back, try and make him your best friend again . . . not fight and quarrel with him, that will only push him further away.

Alternatively, let him be! When he needs you again he will come back.

dangermouse:
He has said it all by himself by mentioning the gay word even beore you did.
Allowing an adult person in our matrimonial home is a recipe for breaking up the marriage in the first place.

Right now the damage has been done already and even if you decide to do away with the friend, they will still find other means to be seeing each other.
You forgot to say if your husband and his friend keeps late night together?

If yes then i will advice you have a heart ro heart talk with him.

UjuJoan2:


Your suspicions that he may be gay, based on what you just described is completely unfounded. Except there's something you are not saying.

Even if the guy was his lover, do you think he would be stupid enough to bring him into his matrimonial home?

Wisdom is profitable!

Alphafeezay:
Buhari and his supporters

Alphafeezay:
Buhari and his supporters