₦airaland Forum

DexterousOne:
Which kind consequence?

Joke Silva and Olu Jacobs have been married for donkey years


Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Parker have been married for donkey years too


Wendy Williams is another example


Examoles abound of this.


As I said before, I personally don't mind of she keeps the surname.

it's a little issue, no big deal.

Marriage 101 lessons: Never Compare ur relationship or marriage with that of another couple!

Just because joke Silva and olu jacobs have not separated or divorced doesn't imply that all is well....

Do u stay in the same apartment with them to know if all is well?

Like I said....its ur choice!

Daeylar:
Imagine this trash?
Look at weak men claming to be strong. So your pathetic strength is based on how you can bend and manipulate the female gender to your will. Without giving a thought to the choice of the woman.

How can your strength or the strength of a man be based on if your wife chooses to answer your name or not?
Or you conveniently forgot she has a choice to choose to answer your name or not?

Instead of you to respect that she has the choice to answer your name or not, and respect the fact that some women choose not to, and it doesn't make the man weak or has any reflection on the man. You are here yarning dust.

Be the weak ass man you are and stop trying to put your weakness on how far your can go in your control of Women, that is a weak man's move.
And as the weak man you are, here you are hating on a man far stronger than you.

Nonsense.

Since U are having an issue bearing the name of ur future hubby....why don't U get someone who thinks with that line of thought....

Why wait until U are married only to tell ur hubby that U won't be addressed with his name but with ur own father's name?

If U have a problem with being labelled by ur Hubby's surname,then marry someone who doesn't see anything wrong about it like others do....but don't judge or condemn anyone who insists on having his wife being called by his last name....or mock a lady who wants to be addressed with her hubby's surname...!

Sterope:
Who made the rules and requirements of marriage?

Who did God make the head of the home?
Who made man the leader of the house?
I guess its the woman? right? smh

Sterope:
Did your ancestors ever had a surname?

Do U even know who Ur ancestors were?

Sterope:
Where is it written in the Bible and the Qur'an that a married woman must take her husband's surname?

Can't speak for the Quran beliefs....I guess they have guidelines but ponder on these questions....
Was there anything called "dating" in the bible?
Was there also a part in the bible where exchange of wedding rings were required in a marriage?
Was there a scripture in the bible that required a lady to wear an all white gown while the guy is on his black tuxs?
These are guidelines and requirements for a typical Christian marriage and if U have an issue or against it,den find some one who thinks like U.....then get "married" the way both of U want it to be....Don't be a judge in a person's choice..

Sterope:
It is a western culture. Have you so lost your way that you now worship a white man's marital culture?

Without the western culture am sure U will be in a jungle,half naked chasing bush rats for lunch by now...or being a 5th wife to a prominent hunter in ur villa....
The same west brought good things to the world and society but also brought terrible things too....

...as much as we admire and remain grateful for the positives from western culture,Not every thing offered by the west should be acceptable!

Just because the western culture brought about good things to our society doesn't also mean it can wake up one morning and alter their lifestyle and expect others to assimilate them!

I guess we should start accepting bestiality since its already a norm in the west!

Sterope:
Isn't it hypocritical that one minute you are shouting our culture and the next you are eroding it? Do you know that once upon a time in the western world women did not take their husbands' names. It is an innovation. Put your hand where your mouth is, make your ancestors proud and say no to westernisation of African culture .

lol....Not hypocritical but common sense!
there will always be a blend or balance in cultures...
Not everything from the west is bad and not everything that emanated from Africa is terrible....
There are some Very recommendable African "practices" that are still relevant in our society just like that of the west....
Its my choice to know which one best suits me based on my morals and ideologies!

Sterope:
In my culture, a child is identified by her father not her husband or wife.

Does ur use of 'identification' in ur culture also include or imply that U will also use Ur dad's surname even after U have been married?
.its imperative that u tell ur future hubby that U intend not to change ur name if U finally get married to him....

If he accepts,then that's not my problem but if he doesn't, then don't judge him or call him names....

Sterope:
You should be glad we are not asking the child to take her mother's name. That should be enough for you.

That's not up to U to decide....Like i said....All these are unnecessary noise cos U wont mind getting ur future hubby's name.....

DexterousOne:
Different strokes for different folks

I personally don't mind her keeping her surname, especially if she is from a prominent family


No big deal at all.

Well u have already stated ur reasons for retaining her name...which is ur opinion though I may have my reservations but then I totally respect it...
However am very sure aside her coming from a famous or well known family,U are also prepared for the consequences of her not taking ur last name....
I don't need to state them...The future will tell!

Sterope:
How can you? You made her, didn't you?

Insecure much?

I never made her but she decided to change her name out of her own volition..
..she knew what she was getting into hence she is required to abide by the rules and requirements of marriage... just like MRS Clinton did....
So why would she change her mind and start being addressed in her dad's surname all of a sudden?

Its a choice but I guess U won't understand because u r fixed on that tag called feminism....

Am a 100% sure this same moniker quoting me will surely jump at the offer of getting ur Hubby's surname esp if its that of a wealthy man like dangote...
but U are right here on this faceless forum forming feminism....

And please try to be straightforward and precise with ur indirect attacks in form of unnecessary questions aimed at me....its My life and my choice...not ur business...comprendo?

kaorama:
Sorry, you are ashamed of your own space. Keep living in someone else's shadows. I am fulfilling my own destiny. It mustn't be announced on CNN for you to know.

True words

nkemdi89:
I mentioned three things, which were hatred, jealousy and tribalism, and most of the people bashing her fell into those categories, she became popular not only because of her books, but she is vocal too, and left for me as an adult, I have the liberty to accept what I want to, her opinions are not laws , that means its not binding on anyone. And miss Clinton herself never saw it from that direction of the question being rude, its just that our African mentality makes us see it that way. An average black has a significant percentage of pull him down syndrome in him, that's why the condemnation was coming from people who tagged themselves " family " .

point of correction....its MRS HILLARY CLINTON and not a "miss"

....and she is over proud of being labelled or tagged that way no matter what others say about it!

eezeribe:
Chimamanda can dissect Hillary Clinton as much as she likes;but one thing remains certain,the likes of Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama will forever remain more highly rated than Ngozi Adichie...
Hillary Clinton is a proud WIFE of former US president and one of the most influential men in the world,Bill Clinton;while Chimamanda remains the wife of a nobody,a man who is so weak that his wife can't even bear his surname.
I have nothing against TRUE FEMINISM,but there is a thin line between COMMON SENSE and NONSENSE.

I can't begin to imagine the look on my face if my future wife is asked to intro herself and she uses her own father's surname instead of mine....