₦airaland Forum

Xisnin:
He is the one trying to withold an adult's right to travel.

but she once stopped him from going why cant he do the same.....or does she have more say than the guy?

Xisnin:
It is good to ask your kid where they are going because you know better but never try that with an adult, at least not one whose livelihood doesn't depend on following your orders. She doesn't have to convince him or any other person. I have no problem with him breaking up with her, his life his decisions. It is just the way he sounded like someone who just discovered a nobel winning invention and his poor attempt at blaming her and single mothers for the decision he took.

Bro for me your submissions are relative....it all depends on the upbringing...

If you are married or in a serious relationship, you will be asked about your movement by your partner...unless you are too proud,you will always tell your partner about where you are going to.... it has nothing to do with control like I said earlier,its about love and care.....


My gf out of respect and love for me will always tell me where she is travelling to.....and also state her purpose of such trip...."Nothing to hide,nothing to fear".....

and some times when she forgets I also ask....there is nothing wrong about that!

Different strokes for different folks!

...My mum will always tell us where she goes to even when she travels.....thats for reaching out purposes!
It doesn't in any way limit her....

One of the purposes for asking about one's movement esp relationship is to show trust and loyalty to each other!

Xisnin:
His first post clearly stated her major "flaws", which is that she travelled when he ordered her not to and she refused to give him her family members number. Every other thing was an afterthought.

It is one thing to say that he broke up with her because she is domineering, but entirely different thing to try to make the other party look bad because they allegedly sinned in the past. Is it so hard for the OP to tell the lady that she can't stop him from traveling?

I believe one can breakup for any reason even made up ones but one must also take responsibility for such decisions. Nobody was made to satisfy another person, if you don't like someone, move on, no whining, no generalisation, no victimising or sympathy-seeking.

according to him,she didn't sound convincing but she went anyway and started behaving strangely!

As for the family number,according to previous posts by OP,she had once used his friends and family members to beg on her behalf,so why can't he do so esp when its now obvious that she issues have remained unresolved.....

as for the afterthoughts, he is the one telling us his own side and he can decide to explain in subsequent posts if any one needs more clarifications.....

Thought the only part I take exception to is the part where op made a generalisation of all single mothers based on his experience with just one of them.....

Aside that,every other thing he said is true!

lefulefu:
single moms get their own for body abeg. Their own wahala plenty pass dat of a single girl. U have to contend that the baby daddy might still be banging her and dere's nothing u can do about it. If u want to correct her child if e do wrong dat one na another big wahala. She might not respect u..she might consider u an upstart since she don already get one or two pickins from different men. Single guys wey dey date single moms dey try oo.with d number of single girls around why not leave the single moms for d single dads to date. Easy tin to do so as to avoid double wahala.

Na true sha.....

Xisnin:
Did I read a different story? It is the OP that is dominating the lady, you don't blame someone because you can't control them.

Its imperative that you read before commenting.....no pun intended!

Go through the Op's post and other subsequent posts,you will notice that she has been the one trying to control and manipulate him.....

Aside the said lady's trip to abuja which op objected due to the fact that she wasn't convincing enough,I don't see any place in his post where he was domineering or controlling....

And besides,is it wrong to ask a loved one where he or she is travelling to esp if it might be to the person's detriment?

In fact Op stated clearly that there were trips he wanted to make but was stopped by the same lady....or didn't you see where he stated that part?

As for my post bro/sis,I was only relating my own experience to OP's post which is very true about "domineering" ladies!

CastedAyo:
A Pretty Nigerian Lady who is apparently tired of her single life took to twitter to express how vacant the role of a boyfriend is in her heart and how she is in dire need of a boyfriend.

The lady identified as Jennifer wrote;
"Twitter do your thing, I need a boyfriend. I can cook, i earn a living, i’m beautiful and have the right curves. Retweet biko nu my bf is on your tl. And no i’m no daughter of chimamanda. Thank You"

Culled from; https://www.torimill.com/2018/06/pretty-nigerian-lady-is-in-search-of-a-boyfriend.html

What about your character?
Your lifestyle and temperament?

1x2x3:
My dear I'm confused as to what she wants. When we started this relationship I gave her freedom. I don't even worry if she wants to go anywhere then she started complaining that I don't care, that I don't even get jealous when she tells me a man is disturbing her....... We actually quarrel over it and settled. Now it's the very first time I objected and she went all out saying things. If she needed freedom I don't know why she complained initially about me giving her all the freedom.

.....if you get jealous,some ladies will say you are too possessive or obsessive or that you are choking them....if you are not jealous, she will say you don't care or you are seeing someone else!

why do some ladies feel the world must always revolve around them....?

MaziOmenuko:
Yea, she's your g/f, not your spouse. You don't demand for an explanation because you don't own her and she doesn't owe you one. You are dating a 30yr old and not a teenager. I am sure she won't sabotage the relstnship if she really sees it leading somewhere. Maybe, just maybe, she has realized you are wasting her time and she needs more commitment from someone ready to indulge.

Anyway, not trying to play the devil's advocate.... Make I dey mind my business shaa.

If he owes her an explanation when he goes on his journeys,I don't see any reason why he should not ask her where she is going....that doesn't mean he is domineering, it simply means that he cares.....

secondly, if a partner is not committed to a relationship,how will that same person be committed in marriage or has marriage become a veil that suddenly makes a Casanova to become a committed guy? Or has marriage turned a prostitute to a saint?

If a partner is not loyal,faithful and committed to you during a serious relationship, don't even expect such when you get married!

1x2x3:
If she's here she won't even be able to defend herself the way you did. I'm not a church goer and I don't listen to bulllshitt prophecies. The pastor told me randomly when I went to dropped off his church member. What am I to do when we hit a brick wall while arguing for days? Sometimes you get in someone who you know she respects.... She has done the same in the past when she offended me bitterly. She involved a friend of mine she talks to, now I need someone to talk to her but there is absolutely no one close to her

bro don't mind the ladies defending that woman....double standard and playing the victim card has always been a necessary weapon for some ladies who want to see one side of the story just to buttress their misplaced narrative!

OP ,this behaviour is not only exhibited by SOME single mothers....SOME of the single ladies,esp the pretty ones in nigeria, also have such attitude.....

Initially,very nice,welcoming and humble....after some months,they start trying to figure out how to control or dominate you with some little stuffs.....When they don't succeed with that approach maybe due to your stance,they get emotionally defeated and use the weapon of manipulation just to make them look like the victim or that you don't really love them enough....

Once the manipulation doesn't work out,they will say you are too proud and stubborn (part of the emotional blackmail)....Just to psychologically control your actions towards them...and make you soften your stance....

Once these measures are resisted,they start seeking out other guys whom they can manipulate or bring under their control......

Most of them hate taking advise esp when they know that they are doing what is wrong.....They always believe in calling the shots in a relationship or marriage.....

They want you to eat this food,buy what they want,wear what they like and say what they want to hear.....

They never bother to know what you really want or like simply because these set of ladies always have a "sense of entitlement "......always the "Me syndrome"....!

The funny and interesting part is that these same ladies,in spite of all these behaviors,will even love and desire you more due to the fact that you can't be easily disarmed or controlled by them....

Well thank God for your life but just know that this attitude is not only displayed by single mothers....

SoapQueen:
If I am not wrong, Locke was an empiricist, you should read up other views. Philosophers like Plato were rationalists, they believed that man was born with reasoning. Better put,
Anamnesis.

If a child had a reasoning according to the other philosophers,would he or she be able to tell between good and evil?
Or be able to understand words or be able to tell what his or her sexuality is.....without an influence or a teaching or experience?

based on newton's first law of motion,"a body will remain in its state of inertia unless an external force acts on it"

in other words,the sum total of what has shaped your mindset up to this moment is as a result of what you SAW,what you HEARD and what you READ........

In my opinion,I believe it safe to say Locke's blank slate theory proves the point that homosexuality is nurture based!

smeag0l:
So, tell me how exposed and civilized you are. That you stay outside Nigeria doesn't make you more civilized than those of us here. By the way, how many countries have you been to or what do you do before I even start discussing exposure and civilization with you. You've got the wrong person here cos it's not everyone you can intimidate with staying abroad. Some of us come there for vacation and come back to Nigeria because I see no reason to be a slave in another man's land. I really want to understand the link between civilization/exposure and morality as a lot of you here use it as excuse to support nafarious activities.

Let me even help that guy who always thinks Nigerians are uncivilized due to their stance.......

A female soccer player Jaelene Hinkle refused to play for US because of LGBT shirt......

despite what the western media keeps feeding the world to believe all Americas condone or accept gays or lesbians,the reality is that most Americans still hold onto that belief that homosexuality is abnormal and should not be allowed to stay.....

darkchild64:
it is very good you said "I BELIEVE" because this is basically a subjective analysis

Belief to me is a conviction based on evidence.....just because some one exhibited early traits that are quite abnormal doesn't totally imply that he or she is a homo.....

The reason for such abnormalities are based on a man having more female hormones than male hormones.....same is applicable to women.....as years pass,changes take place based on nurture.....

As some one rightly said,homosexuality is "nurture" and not nature based!

pocohantas:
Stop forcing your fantasies on us.
If you have never had to exhibit such behaviour, I wonder why you think billions of women would at some point.

Once again, I am not a potential lesbian.
I am not homophobic, but I would never do a female...even at gunpoint. I am a chronic maniser

Hahahahaha

smeag0l:
All what you just mentioned here are usually rare and caused by hormonal malfunction.

I know of a guy back then in my secondary school who had these female traits like walking and talking.....

There was a day he was almost dragged to the bush by a randy guy who thought he was a girl....That randy guy got the beating of his life that day....

After many years,I saw this guy and he doesn't have those traits and talks like a man and walks like a man....he is even a ladies man due to his handsome face....

I believe such individuals with the right environment will nurture the guy to become a man....but with the wrong environment, he will think or believe his "early" feminine traits imply that he is gay and hence enhance such traits!

Apina:
Some cultures killed twins and not our people. Morality is a universal theory, it only has different facets to it, and nobody is forcing anyone to accept anything. If i choose not to accept the GAYbriel way of life, it remains my choice.

Scientists dont need to start searching for a basis for sexuality cos by design, a man has a dick and a woman has a vagina and both compliment each other, not only that but by nature man is not immortal and thus procreation is a necessity if man is to continue existing. Homosexuality does not fit into the grand scheme of nature for the very fact that it does not sustain or allow continuity.

Man is born tabula rasa but the basic thing about being born is that its a natural design mapped out for survival of the species. The choice to be an homosexual goes against natures design of you even being born and if allowed to continue spreading will act like a virus which will eventually be enemical to us all.

Nobody is condemning anyone but whats wrong is wrong

Just learnt some thing new today about tabula rasa


"In Locke's philosophy, tabula rasa was the theory that at birth the (human) mind is a "blank slate" without rules for processing data, and that data is added and rules for processing are formed solely by one's sensory experiences."


Thanks for the enlightenment.... please permission to share your write-ups.... Thanks in advance!

rainny:
I don't agree with no 2 I wear an anklet on the right leg nd I'm not a lesbian

That's why he said most of his stance MAY not necessarily imply that those with any of these are actually lesbians...

But since you now know,I guess it should be time to review your dressing and appearance!

You may not be a thug but your dressing can make people think you are one....

You may also not be a cultist but your appearance can make you look like one...

Remember that the way you dress is the same way you will be addressed!

smeag0l:
This was the argument pushed to the south african parliament in order to legalize homosexuality. They wanted to checkmate the rate of rape and HIV prevalence but the number of HIV cases is slowly increasing after legalization of homosexuality in SA. Besides, there is no correlation between sexuality and the development of a nation. Russia, China, India, Georgia, Serbia, Turkey and most of the central american and african countries all have bans on homosexuality and same sex marriages but a lot of these countries are well developed. No wonder Mugabe stated that if he hears about any same sex marriage in his country, he will ask that the couple be locked up together in a cell until they procreate-This means locking them up forever

lol

smeag0l:
This was the argument pushed to the south african parliament in order to legalize homosexuality. They wanted to checkmate the rate of rape and HIV prevalence but the number of HIV cases is slowly increasing after legalization of homosexuality in SA. Besides, there is no correlation between sexuality and the development of a nation. Russia, China, India, Georgia, Serbia, Turkey and most of the central american and african countries all have bans on homosexuality and same sex marriages but a lot of these countries are well developed. [b] No wonder Mugabe stated that if he hears about any same sex marriage in his country, he will ask that the couple be locked up together in a cell until they procreate-This means locking them up forever [\b]

lol

anigold:
Me I been attend useless university. I remember when I woo a girl the girl accepted my request,next day a very pretty lady warned me to stay away from her girl,I was like is she your sister,she told me boldly that's "my bae stay off" ,I won't not mind bedding two of them ,she was the most beautiful girl I have ever saw up till now.. why do some beautiful girls turn lesbian.

Na wa ohh

.....I keep wondering why people would want or decide to live "abnormal" lives just to satisfy a temporary sexual fantasy that fades away with time.....

Unfortunately, when the "jazz" falls off from their eyes,they start moving from shiloh to shiloh seeking a divine husband that will marry them @45

No matter the pressure or insatiable urge,What is wrong is wrong and what is right is right!

soberdrunk:
Mtcheeeewww!! The guy even respect her, girls numbers have been saved with names like "Herbal Drugs", "Cab guy", "Nepa man", "Panel beater", "Mike Barber" "Generator Man"...................

Or wale the carpenter

obidevine:
Hi Nairalanders , I need some mature responses .

Anytime I and my wife have a quarrel or a verbal altercation she tends to remove her ring for a few days.

Please what could this mean or how do I address this. It really gets me thinking.

I like making my narratives based on the foundations or the basics.....
That's because when the foundation is faulty,no matter the kind of structure you put on it,there is every tendency that the building will collapse.... same thing is applicable to a relationship or marriage without a durable foundation!

was there a serious relationship before you proceeded to marry her?

Did you see any sort of withdrawal any time you had a disagreement or quarrel with her before you married her?

Does she like settling quarrels or issues at her own time and when convenient for her?

Is she someone who is willing to sit down with you and solve an issue or quarrel no matter who is wrong or right?

To be honest,pulling the ring which represents a symbol of love, togetherness and oneness no matter the circumstances displays ignorance and immaturity!

This happens when an individual is not mentally prepared for a relationship or marriage.....I guess she was living under the assumption that marriage is like a fairy tale or a soap opera show ie telemundo where everything seems perfect with no issues or challenges!

Once she finally puts on the ring,Please find the right time to talk to her about what you have discovered....Let her know that issues,challenges or quarrels are inevitable.....
That problems can only be resolved by sticking together to overcome them and not run away from it!

Its well!

Be careful who U call your friend.....know who your friends are...Some people we call friends are heartless and mindless...things are really happening!

Passengers who like sleeping during journeys.....
Passengers who turn deaf and dumb while reckless drivers move their cars as if its a race car....
Passengers who are always in a hurry and want to get to their destination on time hence ask the driver to go faster....
Passengers who think prayers alone will deliver them from accidents.....

After a week,these victims will be forgotten and absolutely nothing will be done to caution these "death from hell" drivers....

FRSC don't have robots but humans who are not perfect....and can not monitor every car or trailer or bus.....

For those who are still alive,Please am begging you in the name of God..
...if possible before the journey,plead with the driver to drive carefully...


Its doesn't mean you are timid or afraid....its because you value your life.....!

We must all be our own road safety agents.....
What a pity.....!

Nonsense

BecaciaBarbie:
Sorry to disappoint you...you missed the front page.

No vex i no drag am with U...carry go

Zidane is a very smart guy....madrid officials and fans are too impatient and hardly stick to a coach even if there is visible progress.....Had he lost the champions league finals against liverpool,he would have received his sack letter at kyiv......

But he has made a huge name for himself.....3 champions league trophies back to back to back is definitely extraordinary.....a feat even morinho will forever envy....

crème de la crème #zizou

DonBenny77:
You made no sense must you comment on everything?
Amaechi and dakuku are on the same team
If you must then It's Magnus Abe 1 - 0 Amaechi/Dakuku

U sud have checked his name before replying..... He is soberDRUNK so expect any thing!

please op put graphic photos

ohh lord....

Another result of wrongful overtaking and reckless driving....

I heard from channelstv news that the driver survived....

....and the passengers who refused to caution or tell him to be careful were all burnt beyond recognition....

As much as I feel for these helpless passengers,I think part of the blame should go to them.....They knew this driver was reckless but due to the carefree and I don't care attitude of most nigerians,they said nothing to the driver and met their untimely death.....

This has nothing to do with God almighty....
He gave us eyes to see and a mouth to speak when we are in danger or perceive any form of danger.....
Yes prayer is good but that doesn't mean U should sit and do nothing.....


When people enter into a travel vehicle,they become numb or turn into a statue of liberty.....

Blood of solomon

Chai the babe wicked sha.....

What got me laughing so hard was where she said he is "hospitable" and a "good company"....Hahahahaha
See ditching lines.....

So the guy was actually calculating how much he had already spent on her....lol

greatnaija01:
You really are a wonder

You are NOT a faithful Lady for relationship. You have lived in dishonesty and its all because of MONEY and Greed.

you are also materialistic (NO MATTER HOW YOU DENY IT, YOU ACTUALLY ARE.)

You have lied to your boyfriend and you feel you are better than him, so why are you still MANAGING him, he no longer appeals to you so leave him... you have HURT him beyond what he can imagine but because he does not know that is why he is still sucking up to u.

The new guy whom u called BESTIE may be the one you should marry (i.e If you wont CHEAT on him too with a new bestie when he gets boring).

You need to realize you will not be YOUNG FOREVER, and you may actually be lazy to WORK on your RELATIONSHIP. You are DOUBLE MINDED.

So pls make up your LIFE by making up your MIND to be FAITHFUL AND LOYAL.

Your bestie MUST always be your LOVER.... So stop deceiving yourself.

THIS IS A BITTER TRUTH, BUT SWALLOW IT AND IT WILL CURE YOU.

Bro absolutely spot on.....exactly my thoughts!
When she said she has a "bestie" and yet has a bf,I just shook my head and gave up on her including any advise for her cos I doubt if she really needs one...

having a bestie and at the same time a bf is not only ridiculous but selfish in deed! what sort of self-centered and double minded attitude do some people possess these days....

If some one had done this same thing to OP,she would have created a post about how "all men are scums".....

This is the kind of lady that will get married and once there is a little issue,will start looking for her ex....

Its indeed getting to a stage where i am beginning to agree with the narrative that "some" ladies esp the pretty ones just don't know what they want!

@OP,If U can't confide or make ur bf ur bestie,please let him go....
......Let him meet pretty and faithful ladies who are in abundance and are willing and ready to make him happy and bring out the 'king' in him...

.....Keep deceiving yourself OP,Maybe U still think The world revolves around U!

Smh!