₦airaland Forum

suremic: Thats a matured talk... you are on point.

You should put a sign around your neck that reads "DANGER" before you start deceiving innocent young girls into marrying you

If she was really cheating on him then she would not have done the traditional wedding. I wonder what the flimsy excuses are? I would like to know. If my sister told me that the man she was marrying tells her that if she commits adultery then something bad would happen then I would tell her to reconsider. Not because of the adultery but because someone who hangs a threat over your head like that even though it has not basis is not marrying you based on trust. If the way you plan to keep your spouse faithful is hoping on some thing to keep her to you in fear then you will make her life hell with your insecurity. The part about her hugging her ex shows that this man probably had driven her away with his insecurity. Someone who suspects someone of actually cheating would say things like I saw this on her phone or she is secretive etc. All this one says is about hugging her ex. I don't get it. It just sounds like such a one sided story. It takes a lot for a woman to walk away after her traditional and court wedding. Your friend is not saying everything.

SAFO: Actually I am living it. My wife already had a child from a previous relationship before we met .

Nice. May God continue to enrich your family

This is not really new. When I was in highschool in Nigeria my principal sent an Indian kid with a turban home. He never came back though his sister stayed on. It was a private school though so different rules may apply. This was probably in 1990. This is not a new thing at all

Richvkunt is so predicatble. Pathetic if you ask me.

SAFO: Simple and short. If you love her like you say you do, and plan on having a future together. You take care of her son like you would your own. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. POINT BLANK PERIOD. REGARDLESS OF THE OUTCOME

That was easy wasn't it

Of course it is easy. You are typing it not living it. But you are right

Do you plan on marrying her? I don't understand what you mean by if he comes for his son. Why don't you discuss with your woman. If you guys plan to marry then have an understanding. You cannot treat this boy any different than you would your own biological if you intend to marry his mom. It makes no sense. If you do not intend to marry her and have more kids then just free her. Don't ruin the boys life. If you marry the mother you are bring her child along too.

Na wa oh. Just breaks my heart. I wish you well poster. Hope everything works out for you

I totally understand where you are coming from. I think it is inappropriate for your husbands friedn to kiss your son. Your husband needs to understand that even though you might be more anxious that a typical person would be he(your husband) needs to not be so blazay about it either. The most important thing you can do rather than stress yourself to death about it is to educate your kids. You should have that talk with your kids even the two year old. There is a book called "those are my private parts" http://www.amazon.com/Those-are-MY-Private-Parts/dp/0976198800/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1333997868&sr=8-1 This way your kids will come to you (at least we all hope) if someone is touching them inappropriately. That way it can be nipped in the bud. This world is filled with so many sick people and your husband does not get it because he was never a victim of sexual abuse.

I know many NIgerian commit crimes in China but I believe these men especially the first one

The numbers do not work or are switched off even the IGPs numbers. People are being slaughtered and nobody can help them. That country is just bleeped up. May God help those people

Unbelievable

I am more interested in them using their popularity and influence with the young folks to educate young Nigerians. If some like Dbanj (he is the only one I can think of right now) does a campaign on No means No then maybe young girls will understand that when they tell a man no and he still forces ehr to have sex that it is r4pe. If someone like Omotola who has been married for ages can step up and runa campaign that sends the message that a woman who is being assualted by her husband does nto need to remain in that situation and to contact police officers maybe more women willbe empowered and have a voice. Stella Damasus has children she could run a campaign were she talks to kids about reporting to an adult if someone touches them inappropriately (a very troubling problem in the society). There are just so many issues in that country that can beaddressed by these "celebrities" that do not involve building schools or showing how much they are spending.

They should start firing all of them. There are many other people with no jobs that will be happy to work. The threat to throw the patients who cannot care for themselves out on the streets is not just a sackable offence but also a crime. They should be sacked and arrested if they dare carry out the threat. Illiterate idiots

At 15 and telling such elaborate lies. Something happened to that child to make her ths way. Her mother should come and say what happened. She still needs help but I am glad that she did not ruin yoru relationship with your dad. I can understand why you immediately felt a need to protect her.

dayokanu: Several reasons for a boss to lock the door when with a colleague male or female.

They might be discussing some business sensitive issue,
He might be scolding her and would let others to hear his voice or what the subject matter is,
He might be discussing some people at the place of work,
He might be discussing promotion of other colleagues- Who to promote and who to sack

There are a million and one things that can be discussed and needs to be discussed behind closed doors.

Do you work in an office environment? Has there been a time your boss or colleague told you to come into his/her office and shut the door?

The fishy part is a man thats phocking his colleague, If they told him his wife is around, Most times he would panic and not take up to 30mins before attending to you, But if his hands are clean he would see no reasons to hurry with the colleague

None of those requires the door to be locked. He could have just shut the door if it was such a serious issue

plaetton: Madam, this is exactly the problems we athiest have with religion.You have a loving husband whom you have loved and admired all this while and who has also loved you uncoditionally despite your religiousity.Now you are just beginning to feel uncomfortable about his athiesm. Why? Because of what others (religious folks ) are insinuating? Why is so hard to tolerate people who do not share your religious beliefs? Would you have prefered to be married to the so-called born again religous pretenders who outwardly profess regiousity but whose hearts are dark pits, than to a non-petensious reality-oriented man whose heart and mind is transparent to you at all times?

Have you reckoned that the problem might be with you and increase in your religious zeal? Are you surprised that your pastor does not like him? How do u expect a pastor to like someone whom he cannot manipulate and sap? You are exhibiting the typical symptoms. Soon they will start seeing visions and prophesies about how your husband is evil and is going to do this or that to you and your children.
There is nothing in this world that divides people more than religion. Religion can destory your home if you allow it to do so.Your home should be your church. The love of your husband and children should be your sanctuary.
I guarantee that You cannot find in a church, what you cannot find in your home-love,sincerity,respect and peace.

I am an thiest who is married to a born again wife. I made my position know from the start and we have lived happily. I go to church with her from time to time. But I have grown waery of the "name it and claim it" theology of the pentecostal preachers,so I do not go anymore. I put my foot down on no night vigils, retreats,house fellowships, and midweek service. Otherwise, I try not to interfere. I find that is her church members who always want to make our religious difference an issue. I always put them in their right place.
As for my children, I have already succeeded in planting seeds of doubts in thier young minds, which for me ,is sufficient enough to help them develope the healthy skeptism necessary to intelligently discern life and reality, hopefully, from both a philosophycal and scientific perspectives rather than from religious perspective.

I do not see any problems in you family except the one that your religious peers are pressuring you to create.
Take note that the increase in your religious zeal is and will be directly proportional to the level of tension,resentment and ultimately, distrust in your household. I hope you make wise decisions.

I could not have said it better

You need to be very careful. Your husband is a good man. How do you know that your pastor and church members do not like your husband. Are they that free with you that they can discuss him negatively? He has a right to his opinion just like they all do. Those who are accusing him of being in a cult probably have worse things in their closet. Focus on yoru family. Have a discussion with your husband about what he tells your son. Tell him you want to raise yoru children as christian children. Your husband is a smart man. I am sure he will understand that concept. All the rest to me is nonsense. Who the hell is anybody to say anything bad about a man that takes care of his home. Don't bring trouble where there is none

Confront your wife. You friend on the other hand is an arse

Tedpgrass: It's funny, how the men seem to think this ops cries r out of self preservation not for moral good.

I would put things in a different perspective.

If your much younger brother (feels like a stud) starts an illicit affair, (very physical, no intentions of taking things further) with a previous Ex, you really cared about and may be still do, who is presently in a loveless union: how would you feel??

2ndly, its an unspoken rule, don't mess about in familiar territory. There are daily rants from men here on NL about
girls dating Aristos ( older, maybe richer men, probably married too). This scenario seems to fit the picture.

Later, we moan about Nija being messed up
We can't fairly assess a microcosm all because a fellow chap is getting his j..oystick being ministered
too regularly by a fresh young thing, young enough to be a daughter, who grew up knowing him as an " uncle".

The OP does not care about the morality of it. She is angry that the niece is dating her ex not that her niece is sleeping with a married man. If the man was single then the niece can go ahead and marry him if she wishes but the married part is the part that is morally wrong. Those of you focusing on the niece aunty part are the reason why nigeria is messed up and not the other way round. The original post was from 2 years ago or so by the way

Never noticed this. I think you are reading too much into it

The bus company should not be let off. How in the world do you transport little children at that time of the night. I am so upset

Denrele live your life. You owe nobody anything. Be true to yourself

The bounced check is proof enough that she owed you the money. I don't know what you need the money for but give them some time to grieve if you can. May her soul rest in peace

She is thief. A lazy thief at that. She should sit her ass in Nigeria. I mean that mentality to me is why so many Nigerian girls end up in foreign counties as virtual prostitutes.

Inherited certificates? I weep for my country. Whaaaaaaat? I wish I did not read that

chaircover: Outstrip God help wives. These are mainly women who have built their lives round their sons. Maay of them are widows or divorcess or their husbands have many other wives and so dont have their time and so devote all their time and energy to raising these sons and then refuse to let go.

They dont have any other life but their sons so they immediately look at the daugher-in-law as the enemy who has come to steal away their precious son. They even compete with their own grandchildren.

Reminds me of a story I heard, whereby the MIL called the DIL on her wedding night and told her that she (the MIL) is the first wife o!
Can you imagine?

I know if a similar one. This was the sister in law though telling her brother's new wife the same. Poor sister in law signed her exit package by that one LOL

It is whatever you make of it. As long as you are being true to yourself you owe no one an explanation

Wow I remember this thread. ^^^^^ Sorry about the divorce. You are strong so this too shall pass. I don't believe in Jazz but some things Nigerian married men do sometimes in the name of loving their mothers just shock the heck out of me. I don't understand how his mother told him not to sleep with his wife and he actually moved into another room. I personally know that that woman will not spend one more day in my house. It will not pass that night that she made that statement to her son. She will not wonder who the head b1tch in charge is.

Lexoria: Men should grow up,there is nothing like an african marriage and responsibilities.The BIBLE also talked about loving your wife and if you love her,your thought should be with calming her anger not with her dishing ur food.Meanwhile,why can't most nigerian be domestic?My hubby dishes his food when he wants to eat and doesn't want to disturb me.I can even ask him to help me boil rice or cook something when I have to rush to somewhere or He gets home before I do and I might take some time to get back and he doesn't complain,he sees it as division of labour since we are both adults and he didn't employ a househelp instead he married a helpmate,a partner.He would even shower one kid while I dress the other.Someone would say its because he's been living abroad for a while but truth is African men need to change their mentality of thinking their wife is their housegirl and assume some responsibility in their home,its also his home.I cant punish my hubby by not dishing food for him cos I know he'll do it himself.Anyway,to his their own.

Don't mind them. When it is convenient they quote the Bible and when it suits them they say their culture does not allow it

ajibo11: @ouystrip she is not lying about anything but have tis born again faith that all thru these years that God's grace has been pulling her thru

Well it does not make sense. If she built the house because he was threatening to marry another wife then why did she do it in his name. The idea is to build it so that if he goes through with the threat she has a roof over her head and the childrens head. If that is the case then why do it in his name.

pwilliams: I jst dot undastand wat u saying is very wrong 4 d woman not 2 serve her husband meal cos dt her responsibility and I have a case wen d man went out 2 drink nd e never b dsaame again,so women shud b careful dey shudnt deprive their husbnd aanytyn witout gud reason

What happened? Willi willie jumped into the beer and possessed him and he started screwing every woman in sight No it was not him that took his two legs over there to find the woman. SMH. It is the woman's responsibility to serve food and the mans responsibility to d1ck everyone he sees