₦airaland Forum

I don't understand why she built the house in his name. That is the mistake she made. She should have built 20 in her name and the childrens names. The man already threatened to marry another wife and she went ahead and built the houses in his name. Abegi she is lying about something.

Crying sure throws them off center. I remember when I had post partum blues after our first was born. I was crying for no reason at all. Instead of asking me why he panicked. He was like do you want to follow mom back home when she is going. Kai. If I had a shoe I would have thrown it. Men just don't understand crying. They either think you see them as a monster or they get totally frustrated

[quote author=Miss_Ife]Maybe we should try creating different topics on this family section. Since I've been there, I've noticed that those scary topics are those that get most answers/attention. We could just change that by creating and participating to different topics. I don't have much ideas right now, but I'm sure we can find other family related things to talk about.

As for the kind of marriage topics we see here, I have to say it mainly scared me at first. I also participate on other forums (western ones) and though these kind of issues arise from time to time, the family section is usually a very light, inspiring and fun section. I sometimes wonder if this section is a true reflection of what is really going on in nigerian marriages...[/quote]Maybe it is a good thing. maybe people are hearing that on nairaland people have varying opinions. In a country and culture that does not really like a logical approach to marriage nairaland might actually be the only place to turn

debrief08: One came to complain to me for the uptenth time in my office yesterday that her husband beat her again for reading Linda Ikejis blog on the Ogo Issue and banned her from visiting the blog, I was tired of holding her hand and i used your style, told her to go abeg, I don taya to talk the same matter, if she wan stay die as Mrs. na her choice but let me not be burdened by buying white lace for burial. The same thing over and over, he beats you you come and cry I advice you, you gp home after some days you tell me " he said it will never happen again" then you stop talking to me because he has ordered you not to, then you come back again afetr some weeks/ months and we start again, I told her abeg no be by force to do friend. So frustrating.

I am better at avoiding it in real life. There is this woman (I will not even bother to list the things this man has done to her) that within 3 minutes into the phone conversation she is lamenting. She is old enough for me to call her aunty. The straw that broke the camel's back for me was when she announced their 20 year annivesary on facebook. I felt bad when I started avoiding her calls but I am glad I did. A man that discuss what you people do in the bedroom in the midst of other Nigerian women and laughed at you. Does not provide. Extrememly abusive and yet...... kai. I am still mad about that facebook post. So imagine running from that in real life and coming here and having to see it again. I am not saying that women should not come here looking for opinions or asking other married or even unmarried people for how they handled similar things but don't come here and say sh1t like he slapped me and kicked me when I was 8 months pregnant but it is my fault. That I cannot ever accept

[quote author=Unique!]@ poster, it's simple. Simply stop posting replies to posts u find irritating, or even walk away sometimes.

I must say, however, that being here on the family section has really broadened my views on marriage generally. I was for long a silent reader here. I've been married for a number of years, but missed out on a lot of good advice when I was in dire need of them. I made mistakes, lots of them. I did not have the benefit of a different perspective, like I do now, reading from here. You guys don't know how you may be impacting someone's life, one way or another when you post. This section has been an eye opener for me, cos here in Nigeria, we don't have many marriage counselors. In more ways than one, I feel blessed being here, and all thanks to you all who care enough to reply. Don't you for any reason, feel angry when someone disagrees with you, or when your advice is rejected. This is bound to happen cos we are all different and reason differently. This in no way means someone else somewhere is not picking up the advice and using it for their own benefits.[/quote]It is things like this that make me bother to respond. Sometimes it is not about the poster. It is because I know someone else will read it and benefit. It is tough sometimes because for someone who just believes everyone should make their way I get frustrated when I read a woman who was born free accept and advices others to live in bondage because that is what marriage is about. I know that some man will come here and realize that he is not a cash cow because other women work and contribute to the family. I know that a woman will come here and realize that just because she does nto have a son doesn't mean that she is a failure. I know that men will come here and know that just because they were born with a p3nis does not make them God's gift to a woman. Even then sometimes you still have to slap yoruself to believe that you are not hallucinating when you read some of the topics

I am looking at the cars LOL. The amazing thing is that in Nigeria people don't have car notes. they pay cash for these things. Beautiful

Rooting for her. I hope it does well

I feel your pain but at the same time you feel a sense of responsibilty in a way. I remember when I first came to Nairaland. I honestly thought it was the joke section before I finally signed on. Half the time I was super pissed. Nowadays it is more like why am I raising my blood pressure over nonsense

I just looked at the base price 1.7 million. The man is crazy. Really driving around town in a $1,700,000.00 vehicle. I am sure cops automatically start to escort the vehicle when they see it. It is just obscene. Makes no sense to me

ronkebp: So the man cannot go to the kitchen and serve his food abi? if cooking was the issue here, i will say No it is not good for her not to cook, as long as there is food in the house, how many seconds will it take a man to go to the kitchen and dish himself a plate of rice and ten chiken thigh in the pot? People should start learning how to do things on their own. Kai!!!

ronkebp: So the man cannot go to the kitchen and serve his food abi? if cooking was the issue here, i will say No it is not good for her not to cook, as long as there is food in the house, how many seconds will it take a man to go to the kitchen and dish himself a plate of rice and ten chiken thigh in the pot? People should start learning how to do things on their own. Kai!!!

You hit the nail on the head. People are having marital conflicts that includes ignoring each other for days and someone is whiningover the small issue that he was not "served" food. Foolishness of the highest order. The most annoying ones are the ones who say that the man will go someone else and enjoy someone elses cooking. I mean are they even aware that that statement make them seem like they are mentally and physically disabled? If food is what will make you cheat on your spouse you truly need to go for deliverance. That statement always rubs me the wrong way

She's on point. Beautiful

So he and his wife have a quarrell. She gives him the silent treatment and your complaint is that she does not serve him food. SMH. So if she serves the food will that solve their probelms. Sometimes I don't believe the crap I read

What makes the car worth millions. Can he also have sex with it. People will believe anything

megastreet I hope you are joking OP if you give him any more info I will slap you

I am over 30 and my dad still calls me on my birthday to sing me happy birthday. My mom usually calls though she sets the alarm on her pone so she remembers. LOL. Sorry poster. Its obvious you love your parents or it would not bother you.

May her soul rest in peace

Not sure what the big deal is. You people need to get over yourselves

Where are your parents?? It is the responsibilty of his parents. Something is strange indeed

I feel sorry for her future son in law

The person writing on behalf of the husband is an animal sha. Makes the husband look like a dog. The part that had me shaking my head was were he suggested that she hid her sickness from the man until after they were married. Someone has died and yet you still have the heart to accuse her of something you even admit that you are not sure of. Anu ohia. I wish he had come up with something more mind blowing not speculations on the very thing that killed the woman. Almost as if she brought the sickness on herself

There is nothing I hate more than a parent that tries to turn kids against the other. Even if they are separated or divorced. it is very cruel to get kids involved in your stupid decision to marry the wrong person. Kids do not have the capacity to understand things. It is very stressful for them. Now let me go to the OPs post. I am not sure how this man told you guys this or how you have chosen to interprete it. You pointing out that her salary is meager yet she yells at him makes me feel that the man is not innocent in this. Would it be okay if she made more money? Would it be more bearable for her to keep being abusive. Anyway it's only the man that knows what really happens in his home. it looks like he and his wife are doing a fine job of destrying their home. She telling their children and he telling his coworkers

Imagine someone being called Ochi Ochu. I can just see everybody in the room saying "bless you" when they call that mans name. Anyway back to the post. I really wish when they say things like this they follow it up with what was done to make sure it will not happen again. Who was suspended without pay and what apologies was given to the workers. Part of the reason why we have incompetent civil servants is that there is never any real consequence when they drop the ball.

I use my ipad. I rarely bring my bible. When I study at home I use my bible sometimes because I have some parts highlighted that I read a couple of times a week. Sometimes it just feels good pagung the bible LOL. As per the phone though how conducive is it. How fast will it take you to get to the verse and still follow along without being distracted. It is not a sin but a phone as your Bible might be stretching it a little

I am glad I am not the only one that noticed it. I was starting to wonder if I was just being too prissy again

WHat is Dbanj's mothers experience as far a running a record company?? Why does she even have any say?? Why where there no contracts in the first place?

aleroo: ^^^^
Especially when stuff is spelt 'sturvs'.

In fact I have given up.

But why can't someone who is HIV positive work in customs? Is that not discrimatory? @ poster sooner or later you will have to tell at the very least your closest relatives. Think about that. Don't rush and tell whern you are not ready but be realistic and know that eventually you will have to tell your family. Goodluck. I truly wish you well

In doing its work, JACEAT is guided by core values that are in the best interest of every child irrespective of social background, gender, religion or ethnicity. Such values include:
1. Mutual Respect: Recognizing the innate dignity and worth of all children and the value of diversity.
2. Equity and Justice: Requiring us to work to ensure that every child has equal opportunity.
3. Honesty and Transparency: Requiring us to be accountable for the effectiveness of our actions and open in our judgments and communication at all times.
4. Solidarity with the poor, powerless and excluded children so that our only bias will be a commitment to the interest of the poor and powerless children.
5. Courage of Conviction: Requiring us to be creative, radical, bold and innovative without fear of failure in pursuit of making the greatest possible impact on institutions, agencies , projects and programmes working for child survival.
6. Independence from any religion, party or political affiliation.
7. Humility: Recognizing that we are a part of a bigger alliance against Child Exclusion, Abuse and Trafficking in Nigeria and requiring our presentation and behavior to be modest.


If the average Nigerian even embraced just these basic principles the battle is half won.

ifyalways: Wow!
She couldn't wait for death ?

I have heard some old people say this. Some of them get so bored waiting. This is strange though. Where soes a 105 year old have the strength to hang herself. She likely had help.

Cuteobi: Prolly her house got burnt

Then she can go live with another family member

onila: WHY r people acting like they have not entered into a random guys car before or someone u just met

Because people generally do not go out entering peoples cars. What are you on sef? If you don't have a car you walk or you used public transportaion.