₦airaland Forum

Benita27:
Most people don't end up marring their first love 'cause such relationships takes place during our youthful age, and coupling the fact that at such times; immaturity looms. Most don't either know what they want, make irrational decisions or don't know how to keep a relationship going 'cause there's lack of experience, while for those who try to on the long run taste changes which makes them fall out of love.

I agreed totally with the bolded

emakoji:
No, She was not in love in return.

Noted sir...

Reason

1. one-sided love

still counting...

I was discussing with a friend and he pointed me to something i have never thought of before. He was explaining why people don't end up marrying their first love.

Although, i believe that majoriy of people if I don't make a mistake don't end up marrying their first love. If this statement is true what are the reasons why you think people do have issues with their first love?

I believe majority of the users in this section are married and your experience is highly needed.

Tomjazzy2:
Isn't it ironical that there are so many dysfunctional relationships today, in spite of the fact there are many "relationship tips" littered all over the cyber space?



It's either people do not possess good reading culture, or these "relationship tips" are more theoretical than practical. I think the later is unequivocal.

Nice observation.

I think I will go for lack of reading culture and unwillingness to get it right. Relationships shouldn't have been a medium through which people get their life complicated.

Let me add to the listed faults

Deceptive partner

where there is deception there is no relationship

Bleaching vs divorce, pls i need a good statiscian to help me do the correlation and plot the graph for me to be sure of this statement.

You are on point Op.

The I don't give a damn type or the abusive type

Honestly being financially handicap isn't good for a relationship. It sucks.

I think the best answer you can get will be from those that has cheated before or are still cheating.

On behalf of Op, I warmly call on those that have cheated in one way or the other to tell us the reason(s) why they chose to cheat.

Guys are also inclusive.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Eze2000:
And here lies th ecomplication for me.

After i sign up, adsence only adds a widget to my blog. Going to the homepage shows you nothing except a 'We are reviewing your application and will contact you by email in two to three days' ... that's it! There is no code.During the approval period, one literally does not have an account or a viable homepage.

Or is there something I'm missing?

Under the bolded statement, you will see get the code again, click on it to copy the code again

AdeOluwaTomiwa:
Counter https://www.nairaland.com/3891851/fifteen-stupid-things-wife-mess

As a man, you need to act as a man,and I'd be listing out things men do that can mess up their marriage

1. Putting your wife in a jealous position.

We can't dispute the fact that this happens alot and as a man,I really don't know why we do this,but its a big threat to our marriage though.

2. Not balancing the likes of your wife and yours.

A marriage that's even 10years would crash for this if a man wants his will to top the list every time, well your wife is human,give her the chance to make a decision with what she likes too,and support what she likes,nobody will die if you two are team workers like that.

3.[b]Shouting on your woman.
[/b]
This is one hell of a big deal,its wring to shout on anyone even a 2y/o, its so wring and scary,because we are humans and we get scared when voices are raised on us,and when we are scared,we'd avoid the person one way or the other or just watch it beside the person and for someone that's married! That's just not too bad.

4.Correcting her in front of the children


5 Not having her time every time.

It's really good to make out time for your marriage and just chill out with the love of your life,the age of the marriage doesn't matter, she's your wife, not your sister,because your sister would understand you and probably not bother because she has other engagements with her friends,but your wife should be queen like that.

Shouting on your wife is barbaric. That shows a lack of leadership qualities at home. 7 leadership qualities a good husband should possess

ImaIma1:
You don't have to date for years to know someone is on drugs,etc.
What is important is what you actually do with the dating time. Are u people just going out seeing movies, eating out, having fun,etc?
Get to really know each other...talk and ask questions, observe behaviours and pick up vibes. It is not about just having fun. Open your eyes and the inner eyes too.

The highlighted sentence is superb. what you actually do with the dating time

Back to the Op's question

Relationship sometimes can be likened to politics. Some guys will promise anything and pretend just to get a lady that can't discern. People don't change in marriage, marriage is just a revealer. But if you are smart and not emotinally carried away, you would have gotten some tips you needed in the early days of your relationship.

liz4eno:
I've been an addict nairalander, posting for the first time, pls I need advice on what to do because I'm confuse, might be lengthy pls bear with me.
Where do I even start?
In summary I've been dating this guy and we are to go for introduction by September, I served in Delta state while he was working in Benin, when I passed out I stayed with him for a while like a month plus before I left for Lagos to be with my sister she's kind of heavy and need me around. He was transfered to Akure I still came down with him before I left.
The main issue here is he called me sometime last week to come and help him pack completely from Benin to Akure but I told him to seek permission from my big Sis, He did nd she told him she also have to ask my mum if I'm allowed to go,,obviously mum refused on d basis that he has not come home and I already stayed for awhile with him, he should be patient and do the right thing.
He was upset I didn't come, in a nutshell now he isn't picking my calls, not returning them nor replying my messages, seriously I'm going out of my mind,the last time we spoke was on Tuesday and kept saying me I refuse to come he'll get his revenge.
Pls is this how to revenge? His silence has been eating me up, my Sis she's also worried but don't want to get involve, I speak with his mum daily is it proper I tell her? Pls I need advice, I know its deliberate act but I'm emotionally down, can't think straight, help me fellow nairalanders, should I go,I'm tired of this,tanks a lot, insults are welcome.

I love your Sis and Mum's approach. Your mum was trying to be on your side to ensure that the guy take a step further to affirm his love for you. Moreover, you acted right by obeying your mum since he hasn't done the needful.

I think the way the whole issue was communicated was a little bit faulty, howbeit, the guy should have been at the top of the situation. If you mean a lot to him, he shouldn't have acted childishly.

I will advise you get a little bit patient and try to make him understand that it wasn't intentional. However, if you guys get back, you should make sure he gets over that childish behavior, if he continues acting like that your marriage with him will be on a time bomb (my 2 cent).

Eze2000:
sir,
pls elaborate on what u mean by placing d ad code correctly. I think I may have issues there as my last reply was that d bots could not future out what my blog was all abt.

but then I had stuff up like tech, health, news, family & relationships, literature.

I have now cut out the tech n health.
I'm wondering if news n family & relationships is good enough

copy the code from your AdSense homepage and paste it into the HTML of your site right after the <head> tag. Make sure to place the code on a page that receives traffic.

If you think you are okay with news, family and relationship no problem, just make sure your contents are original.

Sapiosexuality:
I read somewhere good doesn't give AdSense if your posts are shot. My question is, let's say I have over 30 articles longer than 700 words and have 20 others less than 350 words, will this work against you if you apply for AdSense?

It may and it may not, it depends on the articles the reviewer sents to look through your blogs views. Since the articles will be selected at a random. You can just take the pain and add more flesh to those articles. I believe you will be fully be approved. Nice blog once again.

Quinn22:
Op it's because they have a huge ego and it's affecting their attitude and manners

Very correct

You nailed it.Finances and having a family can’t be separated

Sapiosexuality:
Thanks. I was already giving up on AdSense because of the content of my materials. I will work on the SEO.

One last question. How do you make a new post to appear on Google Search?

Cc HenryDion

SEO friendly and acceptable backlinks.

Therefore, once your post has been crawled, properly index, and SEO friendly, you are good to go.

Sapiosexuality:
Thank you. 100% original. Do you know if critiquing, like I did on that link above, breaks rule two?

I don't think so since you are just trying to write on some irregularities that you think must be looked into. Although, I don't go through all the articles, opps, am a lazy reader. Take heed to HenryDion advise as regard SEO and the probability of getting organic traffic from google(this is where your desired revenue comes from if finally approved)

tosyne2much:
I was disapproved only on the ground of difficult site navigation. I have uploaded a responsive template and reapplied yet I was still disapproved for difficult site navigation

Gurus in da house, what could be wrong?

www.tosyne2much.com

Cc
pabostt
HenryDion
Babaloko02
NaijaTechGuy

Your blog design is cool compare to my ugly blog...don't mind me just a light joke.

At the bolded statement will continue to happen become after i clicked on Religion and Education on your navigation bar, i still got the same page as with your home page. It shows that your contents are not arranged properly and can't be navigated. Visitors may not have good experience with your blog due to improper navigation. Moreover, google often disapprove blogs that discuss along religion line. you may try to remove religion section. Just my own view and observation. Also try to look into what HenryDion said and also other experienced bloggers.

HenryDion:
So far, your site is the best I've seen so far. Unique and a good user experience. The appearance is awesome too.

This niche of yours will be a boom if you dedicate lots and lots of time. I mean, lots if it. Do you know why? Cause your niche isn't really something that can pull up on Google Search result. You need to learn about SEO and keywords.

Google will approve you, but what good is Adsense if you don't get traffic? There are niche that are good but takes time to stand. There are also niche that within 6 months, there are doing well in search results and earning huge bucks through ads.. it's about delving into a profitable niche.

No one will type something like 'He spoke to us in hausa' on Google Search engine.. Place yourself in the shoes of your audience, what are they typing? what are they searching for?

I'm not saying your site can't make it, all I'm saying is, it will need lots of time. Judging by your site, most of your readers won't come from organic traffic.. You will have to keep doing promotion to earn them which is stressful.

I made this mistake once, I was blogging about inspiration and motivation.. I was getting awesome engagement though, but I wasn't making money. Nigerians aren't interested in reading inspiring words, they are either searching for How to make money, sexy girls, or the latest news or celebrity headline.. Others might be sports etc...

Nice observation at the bolded

Sapiosexuality:
What do you think of my blog, bro? www.mortalpoet.com. Are there a certain type of articles that may prevent Google from approving your AdSense? Like this one: http://www.mortalpoet.com/nairaland-nigerias-online-centre/

You have a nice blog and a unique way of writing. The following are contents violates adsense program policies
Adult content

Dangerous or derogatory content

Recreational drugs and drug-related content

Alcohol-related content

Tobacco-related content

Healthcare-related content

Hacking and cracking content

Pages that offer compensation programs

Misrepresentative content

Violent content

Weapon-related content

Content that enables dishonest behavior

Illegal content

I don't have the time to go through all your contents and to check for their originality, but some of your caption suggests you have original contents. Just apply for adsense and I think you stand a chance.

cedo:
Hi guys, good morning, I've read your tip on Adsense and my blog http://cedosblog.com has them all , please why is Adsense not approving my account, need help

Some of your pages have no content(naija video etc.). You can't place ad code on pages with no content. You will always get insufficient contents from adsense as the reason for rejection. So place ad code where there are contents and pages you receive organic traffic.

Ginaruby:
http://ukagha..com.ng

Improper navigation bar: you have news, health tips, etc. all mixed up. Let there be distinction for each Niche in your navigation bar

Multiple niche isn't too good, but if your contents are original no problem

Hope your news are collected directly from the source. Adsense will frown at edited news from other news outlet.

You have a nice design and template.

Make sure your contents have atleast 500 words.

Before you apply make sure you have within 20 - 25 articles.

Originality is the key to getting approved.

Place the ad code correctly

you have to wait for like 2 - 4 weeks before you can be fully approved

Note: organic traffic isn't a serious criteria, so don't get agigated if your traffic is still low. You can still be approved if your blog comply with their policy.

Lionessza:
At this point in my life yes it's important, it might sound vain but I'm not going to be with a man who has not put up as much effort as I did to better themselves. I don't stress about which career path one took but you had better be well qualified and skilled.

The second question shouldn't be there for me. When I first go out with you , one of the first things I want to know is what it is that you do daily and where? . So if I'm not satisfied from there , no need to go on further dates let alone starting a relationship.

I would have loved to date a pilot , probably because at some point I wanted to be one so this would have cured my curiosity .

I love the highlighted statement. Nice comment.

A real man must be skillful, knowledgeable, and vast more than his wife. Come to think of it, if the reverse is the case, how will he provide the right leadership at home?

Pidgin2:
Where are the stats to back up this assumption?

The idea of this asumption as it relate to Nigeria, since Nigerian families was actually my target, was gotten from some journals: For Women, Breadwinning Can Be Dangerous: Gendered Resource Theory and Wife Abuse
Authors

Maxine P. Atkinson,
Theodore N. Greenstein,
Molly Monahan Lang
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2005.00206.x/full

Also,


Another Journal: When She Brings Home the Job Status: Wives’ Job Status, Status Leakage, and Marital Instability


Abstract from the journal

Women are increasingly represented in high status organizational positions. While the advancement of women into high status roles offers them many organizational benefits, the spillover and crossover effects of these high status positions on their marital relationships remain under explored. In this study, we focus on potential costs to the marital relationship when women in high status positions hold higher job status roles than their husbands. First, we examine the spillover effects of wives’ job status relative to their husbands’ on marital instability.(http://pubsonline.informs.org/doi/abs/10.1287/orsc.2017.1120)


So I narrow it down to some of the stories and information i have had about the challenges some women had in marriage when they have a high-status career relative to their husband(majority of female Nigerian celebrities are in this category). Although, no statistics from Nigeria for now. The stats available for now are foreign.

The potential threat the career of a woman can cause to her marriage especially if her husband isn’t as successful as she is has always been a point of discussion. Moreover, some single men are even afraid to marry a woman who is successful in their chosen career than them. Some believe that the norm is husbands “should” hold higher job status relative to their wives. When this norm is violated, and wives hold the higher status job, negative consequences can follow: Women are more likely to be targets of husbands’ aggression, and the risk for divorce increases.

Question
is it a crime for a woman to succeed in her chosen field or earn more?

Source

Subkid:
Hello nairaland users, am struggle to trust my girlfriend but she trust me very well. I love her but am stressing to trust her and she knows i dont trust her, she will nag, upset anytime i acuse her of flirting or cheating. Its just that d lady is easy to love but difficult to trust depending on how she is. Despite that she do sit me down an tell me to count on her that she cant do anything behind my back but at the end i will still think she cant be dat loyal enough and it kill me inside, she even say if i should follow women like that then i will soon die. Though d girl love me but i cant gv her my trust. Please experience people what should i do??

Those highlighted statements looks like a paradox to me. Anyway you can encourage her to be more transparent and consistent in doing the right thing.

pabostt:
Ethnicity is also a major factor that influences one's choice of partner and your parents' approval. The way one ethnic group views another ethnic group will determine whether there can be inter-marriage between them. It is always difficult to choose from an ethnic group that has been blacklisted. Such ethnic group comes to one's mind when making relationship decision.

Most time parents are one of the hindrances when it comes to inter-ethnic marriage. Nevertheless, she can win the battle if she can give her parents reasons the relationship with other ethnic group won't harm her and them. Moreover, she needs to enlighten them about some misconceptions they would have had about Ibos.

Lastly, you and your family have a work to do to prove them wrong.

Her parents are only living in fear and she needs to allay their fears. Of a truth, you need her parents' blessing on your marriage.

You may be interested in this articlehttp://www.treatrelationships.com.ng/2017/05/how-your-choice-affects-quality-of-your-relationship.html

Ethnicity is also a major factor that influences one's choice of partner and your parents' approval. The way one ethnic group views another ethnic group will determine whether there can be inter-marriage between them. It is always difficult to choose from an ethnic group that has been blacklisted. Such ethnic group comes to one's mind when making relationship decision.

Most time parents are one of the hindrances when it comes to inter-ethnic marriage. Nevertheless, she can win the battle if she can give her parents reasons the relationship with other ethnic group won't harm her and them. Moreover, she needs to enlighten them about some misconceptions they would have had about Ibos.

Lastly, you and your family have a work to do to prove them wrong.

Her parents are only living in fear and she needs to allay their fears. Of a truth, you need her parents' blessing on your marriage.

The trend of things suggests that guys will get to a point whereby at 45 they will still be single. Some guys are not even interested in any serious relationship because their income can only feed their mouth. Moreover, some girls are not making things easier for guys because suffering isn't in their dictionary. Many of them will even end the relationship if they discovered that the future isn't smiling with you despite bunch of certificates you hold.

Taking a clue from our fathers and mothers, most of them married at tender age(women 20-22, men 24-27). But nowadays, a 30 year old guy still lives with his parents.

Can we now say the economy of Nigeria in this our time is having effect on the quality and success of a relationship?

What modicum of income is even tolerable for the ladies before they can agree to marry their partners?...Ladies dey even scared to drink garri for marriage...

Which way my people?