₦airaland Forum

Joavid:
Hehehehhe. I remember some years back, I
read her weekly relationship advice article on citypeople abi na ecomuim magazine.

I always looked forward to reading her article
and advices. An interesting writer I must say.

That same magazine gossips about her failed
marriage and relationships. She no longer
writes for city people, at the time I stopped
reading that crap magazine.

(Is there any good magazine in Nigeria sef)

Am trying as much as possible not to
compare her case to vblogger relationship/
women advicer toke makinwa.

In real life, all those people are fVcked up for real.

Everyone has issues. I've stopped buying that perfect life rubbish most people put up even online.

Joavid:
More of an educational mistake -
Hating maths all through secondary school.
I wish I tried to learn. I wish I focused, am sure if I did I would be good at it.

Am regretting it.

Now, its like am starting over. I've got economics to deal with.

lurlah2014:
1. Is for better or worse making me better or worse?

Ans: better

Does your partner encourage you to be your best self, or does he or she get intimidated by any triumphs and feel more secure when you're not putting your best foot forward?

2. Do we really accept one another?

Ans: yes

There will always be things you want to change about the people in your life, but no one should be in a situation where they feel they aren't allowed to be authentic and accepted as the unique, special (yet flawed) person they are.

3. Who am I?

Ans: 50yards hubby material(1 or each marital year)

How can you know if your partner is a good match if you have no idea who you are?

4. Am I happy to be in this relationship?

Ans: I'm happy BUT is she happy(hope you know that aint my juridiction)

The idea of sharing a life together is not to find someone to complete you or make you happy. But let's face it: being unhappy at home can seep into other areas of your life . . . and fast. If you're always fighting or just generally not feeling great about your twosome, it doesn't mean you have to bail out (counseling might be a good option) but marrying someone in the hope that it changes things is a bad, bad idea.

5. Am I feeling trapped?

Ans:nO(I ever feel trapped "divorce for sure"

Do you really want to be in this relationship the majority of the time or do you find yourself wishing for a way out? Do you stay because you've invested time or are you really invested in your mate?

6. What am I doing to hold us back?

Ans: FBI kinda investigation not to make the wron choice

Maybe you could be more attentive, more thoughtful, quicker to let things go, or the first to bring up going to counseling. Whatever it is, take this as your sign to step up.

7. Is this relationship balanced?

Ans: yes(if it not I wouldn't be thinking about marraige)

Do you feel you're both on the same page in terms of compromise, care, support and sacrifice? Or is one of you doing most of the giving while the other just sits with their hand out?

8. Can we have fun together?

Ans:yes that why I'm takking a step further

Have you ever seen two people sit across from one another in silence at brunch as though they are being forced to walk through their day together? Not. fun.

9. Can we have fun apart?

Ans:yes (but better fun 2geda)

Co-dependency ain't cute, y'all.

10. Why am I in this relationship?

Ans: I LIKE her (love is a scam word don't blame me xperience tot me dat)

Is it because you respect, love, trust, and value the person you are with? Or because you're afraid of being alone, worried about finances, or have built a life you're scared to leave?

11. Where is this going?

Ans: shoo marraige nah where else

Living in the "now" is great, but eventually the partnership will need a plan or someone will begin to feel anxious.

12. Do I really trust my partner?

Ans:yes 51% on a scale o 100

For some, the immediate response to this can be devastating. If you're one of them, it's time to ask why and how you can begin to build or rebuild trust. Without it, there's no chance.

13. Am I with a good person?

Ans: no (I'm with a better person God is best)

Knowing what you know about your partner today, would you vouch for them if they were a friend?

14. Am I attracted to my partner?

Ans yes(that why konji no gree me rest)

Physical attraction is hardly the most important component in a relationship, but forcing yourself to be in a relationship with someone who you're not attracted to — just because it's comfortable or "perfect on paper" isn't fair to anyone. You will feel resentful and they will feel rejected.

15. Am I a parent or a partner?

Ans: partner (but she has would answer this better)

Taking care of someone you love is a great thing to do, but when you feel like you're raising a boyfriend — or worse, a husband — things get a little complicated. You'll resent his childish ways. Who wants to sleep with their mom?

16. Does my partner have my back?

Ans:yes (and If wrong I would correct her BUT in secret)but don't look or touble or me with batita and expect me to have ya back OYO

Do you feel like you're a part of a loyal team who stands up for one another, supports one another, and shows a united front (even when the other is not around)? Or, do you feel like you're constantly being thrown under the bus by your mate?

17. Are we looking in the same direction?

Ans:religion(same),marraige(tilldeath until she f-up divorce),babies(just 1)

Some couples avoid having the big talks (religion, marriage, babies) because they think that, somehow, these things will just "work themselves out." By the time they realize they won't, they're in a complicated, painful situation that leaves one (or both) feeling a little bit duped.

18. Are we growing together?

Ans:yes

Being a human being living on this earth, we all have a right to grow and develop, and create a full life for ourselves. Are you and your partner still indulging in your passions (individual and shared) and growing as individuals?

19. Am I still me?

Ans:yes(the only thing constant is change)even a better me @ dat

Being in love with someone should not require changing our identity to fit someone else's idea of who we should be, on any level.

20. What is my gut telling me?

Ans:GO son you're on track(thank god you heed my consel and ditched that ex o youyrs)
You have intuition for a reason. Listen to yourself.

http://citifmonline.com/2015/05/29/dont-marry-someone-until-you-can-honestly-answer-these-20-qs/

childluck:
OP - thanks so much for sharing.

More-so both wives and husbands will greatly learn something out of this.

Moderator - can this be moved to front page please?

texanomaly:
What tipped it off?

shevon:
She realizing that she was doing something wrong and admitting it to the world, while taking corrective steps and actually looking out for results.
Don't get it twisted, there "might" be some Nigerian women out there that will own up to wrong doing in such a way that she did but i have nevere met one (even le wify).

On another note, the guy sef is very patient; maybe if we (Nigerian men especially) have that kind of patience, we might (one day) end up seeing our ladies toe the same path as the lady that wrote the original piece.

Bootybuttchic:
ohh eeya.....excalebites.....yes the school seems too silent.....calebites dont like nl oo.....so u will hardly see them here....they find me weird being here.....but kokanye......hope ur enjoying nl and their private school bashing like it will upgrade their gp

Bootybuttchic:
yes oooo....so you are a calebite?

Bootybuttchic:
sir what does it have to do with you

Bootybuttchic:
repping caleb

Jarus:
In OAU, people hardly cared about what you wore. I practically had the largest collection of Buba and Sokoto (native) in my class and nobody cared.

killjoy:
to an extent, same with me. I usually don't renege on a plan cos of dat feeling. I enjoy it while it lasts Bt I never let it push me back to lapping my vomit.. if its over its over. if its done. den its done. Even Jesus Christ said it - it. is. finished.