₦airaland Forum

If the kidnappers are expecting a chunk of cash to be handed over by a Nigerian minister known to regularly charter private jets for business and personal travel costing several hundred times the price of a commercial airline ticket, they may be disappointed when they fail to raise so much as a penny from the kleptomaniac minister, who most likely couldn't care less about the fate of anyone but herself.

Matter of fact, it is entirely possible that the thieving minister personally financed and organized the kidnapping of her biological sibling, in order to silence him, perhaps after a falling out of sorts, in which the brother demanded hush-money from the minister one too many times. If the minister turns out to have organized the abduction of her relative, it is possible that the victim has already been sent to join his ancestors, with a little help from his captors, who will most likely be paid very well for that task, rather than for a freeing of the hostage as expected.

This failed drug smuggler should thank his lucky stars that he was detected in Lagos and not in China, his intended destination, where his internal organs would have been harvested for sale to the medical transplant black market, after the smuggler received his mandatory AK bullet to the back of the head, for which known family members are normally sent a government invoice demanding payment for the bullet used in the execution of the convict.

The smuggler must have been an absolute dimwit to imagine that stuffing his luggage for an international flight with frigging sausage rolls, of all things, would not arouse suspicion, especially since the import of most food items is prohibited at most international airports anyway.

Okijajuju1:
I have studied Islam and this isn't Islam..


These are just a bunch of lunatic psychopaths who hide behind Islam to satisfy their thirst for blood. Even if the entire Iraq becomes solely Muslims, these animals would still kill.

This is what religion has brought us. All religions are equally guilty here.

These true but often contested words could have been written by Nobel Laureate Wole Soyinka, and I would not be in the least bit surprised if it transpires in the fullness of time that "Okija Juju" is a nom-de-plume created for use in the Nairaland forum by none other than Kongi himself.

Yes indeed Okija. Nigeria, as an illustrative example, holds the dubious distinction of ranking VERY high among the world's most religiously observant nations, yet Nigerian streets frequently flow with the blood of lynched petty thieves, accused witches, purported bedroom tackle removers, alleged kidnappers and the mentally challenged, all beaten, hacked and burnt to death by baying mobs of "God Fearing" Nigerian citizens who require only the tiniest of exhortations to unleash their innate inner beast amid a horde of fellow blood-thirsty "Good Samaritans".

The barbarity carried out by the ISIS death-cults in Iraq, Syria and Libya is already being aped by the Boko Haram demon-worshiping sect invading West Africa, but this similarity in genocidal mindset is no coincidence, since the often stated long-term objective, shared in common by ALL the disparate forces of evil currently placing the civilized world under siege, is the creation of a GLOBAL kingdom of terror loosely based on the current situation in North Korea, where the arbitrary starvation, torture and conveyor-belt slaughter of entire populations has been streamlined and industrialized.

Mynd44:
Lmao....


None of you have actually talked about how GEJ intends to win the North espeecially the North West.

The Republic of Sharialand is actually of ZERO interest to the rest of of the civilized world, since that Caliphate is ASSUMED to be the future domain over which terror gang leader Boko Buhari will preside for the rest of his pointless life.

Sweetguy25:
The APC has actually done an impressive job in remodeling the image of Buhari. I can't believe that Buhari would involve his family in his political life or let his wife organize campaigns and forums.

Its such a shame that he'll lose again, he should have stuck to his word in 2011 and stopped contesting for the office of the president. Seeing Zahra cry if her father loses will be painful

Ha ha ha you sounded so fondly appreciative and won over witnessing the endearing spectacle of the family angle being played in a desperate futile bid to score pre-election election brownie points by our debate-avoiding weeping general Boko Hari, but then you just went ahead to ease in the long blade nice and slow like, before finally twisting it HARD for good measure when the impalement was complete.

Chai ! Ha HA HA HA Diariz God, I say !

Hey Victor you got the inside scoop for sure. You talk the talk in a way that convinces me that you walk the walk as well.

What on earth are those transparent tubes held by the guys sitting inside that APC ?

Are they some sort of civilian riot-control tear-gas grenade launcher that has been adapted to deliver fragmentation grenades ?

Keep us posted with more front line pictures, man, because ever since Sirius Black stopped his Sambisa war coverage in this forum, there has been precious little shown to the outside world in the way of action footage from Nigeria's war on terror.

Can anyone please indicate for us here the current status of the mystery goat, for completion of the historical record.

Donpizzle:
who cares?

I care because I am convinced that I am in fact a reincarnation of Elvis Presley. Thanyouverymuch.

owolawitola:
Is VD Jaguda like a nickname or wat...abi is it not TBJ ur talkin about?

Tola, that name just appear to me like vision today, but my mind dey tell me say e get as e be. Thank you Jesus !

E be like say me self go soon start my own church. I don even tell carpenter say make dem build BIG sign-board to bring customer plenty.

Returning to your question, that is all being left to the student as an exercise that will be worth at least 50% of your course grade.

egopersonified:
Op, what is this supposed to mean?

He is explaining that TB Jaguda anoints his wee-wee with copious amounts of used engine oil, prior to plunging the horrid worm into the hind-quarters of livestock kept for his midnight pleasure in a pen located near his Church of Deception.

owolawitola:
To each his own opinion

That observation is an understatement for sure.

V.D. Jaguda is a cold-hearted mass-murdering slum landlord who IGNORED building safety codes, erected an ILLEGAL structure 6 floors high, on a foundation meant to support only ONE floor, and then hired thugs to BLOCK ACCESS of emergency ambulance crews sent to the rubble of his building, for the duration of a whole ffucking DAY after the uncompleted structure spontaneously imploded, maximizing the number of injured who ultimately died under the ruins of his ILLEGALLY constructed six-floor hovel.

V.D. Jaguda does indeed bear a very strong physical resemblance to one Mr. Satan of the Fiery Pits fame, so it is little wonder that Pastor VD can barely contain his glee whenever announcing "premonitions" of more death and destruction in store for other people, having deliberately kept away rescue squads who could have saved many lives during those precious first few minutes after his death-trap illegal building collapsed under its own weight less than a year ago.

For intentionally blocking access to emergency services responding to the scene of his own collapsed multistory warehouse for human beings, TB Jaguda's greedy grasping paws are forever stained with the blood of those scores of his own followers who were buried under the rubble of his rickety building, along with that of the wounded who awaited salvation that never came, thanks to the pastor's hired goons who kept emergency services away from the disaster site for a full 24 hours starting on that fateful day.


[size=14pt]Ffuck you Pastor VEE-DEE Jaguda. You are HELL-bound without a shred of doubt. There you will serve, for the rest of all time, DIRECTLY under your role model, Lucifer, of the goat-beard fame.[/size]

ikeyman00:
@@@@@

ndi ara

mad mad people

but he could not see his useless and brainwashed house collapsing

and still on it; when u visit they pray for you to be rich and in return you dip you hands in your pocket to offer the only 3 naira u got

why cant he pray for himself and in return give you real cash in hand

mad mad people

hence the reason africa is stagnant as it stand

Africa is PARADISE for religious tricksters who thrive on the ignorance and generosity of their gullible followers.

Matter of fact, I will soon start my own church in Africa, so I too can cash in and exploit the fears and superstitions held by the docile flocks of sheep so common all over the Dark Continent.

I sure say some old-school, under-cover Shakis-man go dey read all this we 'tory about vaporizer, come begin dey wonder say why person when sabi put fire for bush before, go come waste hin money to buy MACHINE for that shakis-work.

My brethren, the answer be say ALL smoke get poison for inside, but o, na siga poison dey plenty pass, and strong pass, to damage inside person body with different-different bad cancer, and na him cause wey siga smoke dey kill thousand upon thousand of siga people dem every year, after when thati siga smoke poison don dry all dem body like so-so bonga-fish.

If na to achieve correct high be ya mission after work, and den you no gree make anything like smoke enter ya body, na vaporizer be the solution when go let you dey enjoy ya bush with no smoke and no okoba smell.

Who no know go know.

http://forums.cannabisculture.com/forums/index.php?/topic/186718-smoking-vs-vaping/

DaBullIT:
Bru NPF Abuja headquarters does have some decent AR rifles, but they are just for decoration, We sent a proposal to import flak Jacks, full body armor, and negotiate a deal with a private security contractor, ex marine USA to train officers, they didn't see any reason in it, they went behind our backs to buy wash wash from African countries


Bottom line it didn't work out, they forgot that the best way to reduce armed robbery or war is to be fully prepared for it, NPF, Na, NN needs to upgrade but pot bellied, beer gulping, politically appointed head of offices unfit to lead are the ones running the show

The scenario described earlier is just common sense,

Dang. Sounds like the Nigerian police force still operates under the presumption of "God forbid bad ting", despite the observable fact that 'Bad ting been dey happen", as seen in Lagos last week.

DaBullIT:
Rules of engagement 101 take down the deadliest enemy first. Non of them was carrying a rpg a good strategy would be taking down the guy with gpmg /the guy with belt fed rifle.

The news said they came on speed boat, take out the driver

Recoil and reload rifle chamber takes less than 5 seconds, you'll have the advantage of masked location and precision over Admittedly a dangerous Hail of bullets, Besides everybody scampered to safety no target for armed robbers to shoot at, but you would be on a high rise building, you'd have bird eye's view of the ground below and simply take them out one by one, if two dies the other one would want to escape, he gets to boat, driver is dead, the roads are filled with abandoned vehicles, no escape route, simple as that

You's a bad muffukuh ha ha. Here's hoping the Nigerian police start to train up some long-range snipers, for they do have applications in this sort of scenario for sure.

DaBullIT:
I beg to differ . GPMG , Scary , But Colt M2012 CLR , Tuale , they'll never see it coming, they won't hear it , won't know where to point and shoot, they'll retreat and that's the objective Isn't it ? ? ? even M60 performs wonder

You have made a good point, DaBullit, in that if you use a rifle that is silenced with a moderator, as they are called in the UK, your location will not be exposed when you open fire.

http://www.silencerco.com/about/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuimpDKCmUaW6qnMMp7XE7Q

The problem with that strategy is that while your own sniper location might not be spotted by the bad guys, killing one of them will cause the rest to unleash a firestorm of hot lead against ANYONE and ALL buildings or cars in the area, thereby killing SCORES of people in vengeance over your precision killing of one out of their number.

If your objective is to preserve civilian life, then provoking a machine-gunner to open up shooting wild in a built-up area will result in MASSIVE collateral damage in the form of dead civilians scattered all over within 200 yards of where the machine gunner lets fly in ALL directions.

So Buhari go Nomadick School, and teef cow there ? Wonderment ha ha ha.

Dem don legalize am for many country now, my brethren, and even Jamaica don legalize am last month.

Check all dis this website dem, and see how people serious for bitter-leaf matter.

https://www.icmag.com/ic/?s=d0669e9508d1ad37f9891fde0e74acc0

http://www.cannabisculture.com/

http://forums.cannabisculture.com/forums/

Dem no take am play at all, as Ganja-man concern.

suwailad:
Check this out, http://www.storz-bickel.com/shop_us/en/crafty-vaporizer.html?___store=us_storz_bickel_en
Thats pretty expensive, but when i get the cash i'm gonna get this right away

Fine girl Suwailad, you get good taste for vaporizer, because that one when you pick, na him be the one when all of dem gree say e dey good pass, BUT, I go suggest make you buy this one for my link here, because if the battery weak after one or two year, to change am no dey hard at all. Just buy extra battery like 2, keep am down, and den change am when the original rechargeable battery begin dey weak after like one or two year.

http://www.vapornation.com/arizer-air-vaporizer.html

That one when you pick, wey dem dey call am CRAFTY, the owner nogo fit change the battery, UNLESS you post am go factory for US, and that kind wahala dey too much, especially when you don use am,and the ting don get odor when police dog go fiti smell am for inside post office.

Papa God nogo let police dog put san-sand for ya garri. Amen.

experimentist:
O boy, naso. As you see me so I be pot head oh, I wish say I fit dey smoke dey collect salary on top e go sweet die.. I go don rich pass Dangote by now o... Since I stop doing cigarette my weed smoking rate increases tremendously..

You be correct man. Siga na BAD poison when dey weak man pikin, and bring plenty-plenty different sickness when fit kill person self.

No mistake take ya mouth touch siga again, and you go enjoy this life witi no comma, as weed master concern.

experimentist:
Correct guy, where you been dey since? No mind those crooked cops dem too like money..


For the vaporizer thing I don't think I will like that cos me like to dey see fire burns and clouds of smoke as I get high it makes me feel good.. I no get shaking smoking in my room or my yard, but my problem be say anytime wen I dey for street I go dey watch out for cops.. That's bullsh'it na.. Anyhow sha, I go try that stuff too..

Any day when you no get time to go for bush joint, you go fit take style vaporize am for house, take that one manage yaself until you see chance to visit Head Office for smoking appointment with the Area Fada dem.

experimentist:
I'm so seek and tired of smoking weed in a hidden.. Why would one have to hide to get high?

I hate rushing my joint, I like to take my time, twist my sh'it and light it up carefully without fear of getting busted by any crooked cop that probably even fires more blaze than I do...

Na so I dey for ghetto one day dey kpef when some bombaclaat babylonians bust off the place.. As a big boy I didn't run I stand confidently with my flaming blaze in hand. "Hey! If you move I go fire you! The big-headed, black-lips, armed-robbery-looking cop yelled at me.. "Oga wetin happen na only smoke I dey smoke na, abi you wan tell me say you no dey smoke?" I asked the ugly-looking cop who looks exactly like Buju Banton with a very dark lips like someone that usually smoke a sack of weed a day.. He frowned and grabbed me by my belt. "Oga cool down na, oya make I settle you from here na?" I said to hi secretly as his colleagues are busy intimidating other innocent patriotic smokers.. "How much you get" he quickly asked.. "Na 2k o" I said putting my hand in my pocket. "If you no get 5k you go reach station, if I lock you maybe your wife go come bail you" the crooked police frankly replied. "Oga I no get wife o, na only me dey abeg, oya take 3k" I said as I brought out 3k and he codedly collected the cash and told me to move quickly before his colleague show up.. Na so I take waka oh!

We need a FOW (Freedom Of Weed) to be passed into LAW.. WTF is our lawmakers doing in that chamber? Nothing! Just sitting there speaking heavy grammars..


Please electorates, vote who will fight for our right.. Don't vote for oppressors.. I hear that even the President smokes weed coded.

My true weed lovers, please agitate for this thread to make front page.. We need to create awareness before this coming election.. Which party has the FOW bill in their manifesto?

My brother you sabi negotiate police settlement no be small ting. I like how you take style make SECRET offer, so that the policeman greediness nogo let am make noise and call others. Kai, you sabi dem o.

Anyway, me I suggest say make you go look how you go fit buy VAPORIZER for any internet shop like Vapor Nation. The ting when vaporizer take beat smoke be say the ting no dey smell at all, because na only the THC when dey shak for inside the bitter-leaf, go dey vaporize, BUT the leaf nogo burn and smell at all.

Even though the bitter-leaf no dey burn for inside vaporizer, you go still high well-well, and because the smell no dey strong like for where dem put fire for bush, you go fit dey use that vaporizer for inside ya house, or for ya backyard, witi no fear at all say over-sabi people go fit come begin dey disturb you for ya work.

http://vapesterdam.com/category/vaporizers/portable-vaporizers/

CodecJay:
lolz, i swear the man head no correct, maybe em dy invisible

I am surprised that this video has not gone viral yet, because even those who cannot understand the Hausa language would appreciate the humor and insane braveness of the battle-front fighter/reporter who took that action-packed footage, and who NEVER ran out of calm and collected comments, even as the sound of gunfire shook the ground under his feet. I have copied the link to this video to Nigerians living all over the world, and they were all astonished and entertained by that man and his uninterrupted do-or-die reporting on the front line of war.

That video clip is nothing short of spectacular, and will become a classic, when the history of this war on terror is finally told in full retrospect. I can only hope that the mad genius who produced this amazing footage survives all those flying bullets in order to post more examples of his work on youtube.


Hold on ! Hold on ! Hold on ! See correct Nigeria soja ! That's what I am talking about ! Fire ! Fire ! Yowaaa ! Thank you ! Nagode !

The army public relations department is finally living up to its name. This short video clip was an emotionally moving, and highly informative tribute to the warriors on the front line in Africa's war against terror, and this news report also gives due credit to the President of Nigeria, for making sure that in addition to a surge in upgraded materiel deliveries to the front line, the advanced technology of surveillance drones is exploited as a force-multiplier on the battlefield, pinpointing enemy concentrations on which helicopter gunships and ground forces can unleash precision-guided destruction.

Go Nigerian Army.

Long Live Commander in Chief Johathan Goodluck, Nigeria's war-time leader of men, under whose steady leadership the Nigerian military WILL surely as tomorrow's dawn attain the peace that will be essential for prosperity during Jonathan's triumphal second term of office ending 2019.

Thanks for this amazing video. This is the FIRST published footage of Nigerian troops settling into a serious ongoing fire-fight, and I loved it, especially the way the commentator and cameraman was strolling along the firing line where everyone else was taking cover, offering shouts of encouragement. That refusal to take cover is the mark of either a totally crazy guy, or of a person who simply does not understand the concept of fear in the face of incoming live fire.

Well done ! Well Done ! That's what I am talking about ! Yeeeeeeehaw ! That guy got me laughing with his calm and collected commentary. There goeth a man with balls of steel, for sure.

elbinmanny:
Why are u trying to look like a virgin I hate virgins

Don't be deceived by clothing and regalia. That woman can probably teach you a few Karma-Sutra lessons, therefore try and be polite, so as not to foreclose your chances of a hookup.

For some reason I expected to see pictures of young busty women stripping down to their birthday suits, and sunning themselves on the rocks beside the water, where I can inspect their tan-lines, but once again, my hopes have been dashed.

I like this. The canines are even quite organized, with one of them posted on lookout duty while the exercise is in progress.

Good job, my furry brethren, and may your teeth remain forever sharp.

For Nairaland readers with family members resident in Amsterdam, you can now catch up on your sleep, thanks to breaking news today, that the Terror Eagle Owl of Amsterdam was FINALLY, after great effort and much pursuit, collared and bundled away into captivity on this glorious day.

Free from the owl
Free at last

Great God almighty
Amsterdam is FREE from the Owl at last.

http://www.ibtimes.com/terror-owl-captured-netherlands-after-terrorizing-town-year-1847094

Check out the picture of the owl and tell me he doesn't look like the diabolical and sadistic Chinese Gung-Fu movie villain, smirking to himself as he dreams up another dastardly scheme to dominate the world.

crowaddy:
Can you prepare a detailed proposal on what you just mentioned here?

These are cutting-edge top-of-the-line drones, available to law enforcement or private users.

http://www.microdrones.com/en/products/md4-1000/at-a-glance/ Cost Unlisted. Flies surveillance missions of up to 45 minutes.

http://www.aeryon.com/applications/military.html Cost Not Specified. This baby shoots video airborne in high winds for up to 50 minutes.

http://www.hse-uav.com/rdass_1000_4_rotor_electric_uas.htm Total System Cost $8,300 USD. Professional gear, and not for hobbyists.

http://www.maxsur.com/category_s/1864.htm Price quotations available ONLY to law enforcement officers. Civilians need not apply ha ha.

The links below contains general information about police drone applications.

http://hse-uav.com/

http://www.microdrones.com/en/applications/areas-of-application/security/

At the low extreme of price, sold at $1000 or below, but offering only 25 minutes flight time, you have the respected DJ Phantom multi-rotor series, in the below link

http://www.dji.com/products/compare-phantom

Finally, saving the best and costliest for last, we have the Area Fada of all Drones, which I imagine costs at least $20 thousand US per unit - The Stationair, made in France. This monster is powered not by batteries, but by a turbo fan engine that runs on aviation kerosine, and offers a whopping 1.5 HOURS of flight time, which is unmatched by any other drone on the commercial market, and thus is entirely in a class of its own, for ridiculously long flight time, during which it can cover a range of 30 kilometers.

http://www.stationair.fr/vtol-uav/ Shoots video magnified by 20-power to ENLARGE high-resolution, gyro-stabilized real-time footage.

http://cinescopophilia.com/thats-not-a-drone-this-is-a-drone-the-stationair-vtol-uav-professional-drone/ Some nice video footage here.

jaldesa:
I just hate this Nigerian English!You guys dont know how to talk speak or what
"na", "Abi" , "ooo"
What kind of pronunciation are these?
Just a comment, no hate!!!
Look at our forums http://kenyachat.webkenni.com

There definitely exists a "Kenyan English" which contains enough Swahili words as to render the dialect completely impossible to understand by a non-Kenyan, just as Hawaiian Pidgin English, which coincidentally bears many similarities with West African pidgin English, can be extremely difficult for non-native Hawaiians to comprehend or speak.

For the purposes of informal communication, pidgin English, in all its global variants, serves a vital unifying role in facilitating mutual understanding between those schooled in the Queen's English, and those who were not so fortunate. With that in mind, there is no constructive purpose served by peering down one's nose at ANY English-based dialect that has survived human evolution until the present day in any extensive or localized geographical region to be found on the surface of this green planet.

In short, I say verily unto thee, My Kenyan brethren, that "E get as e be."

crowaddy:
You too dey watch film and DSTV. Very few(if not any) 3rd world countries have such response capabilities. We must be practical with our suggestions. What you mentioned could be ideal but it's not practical due to affordability issues perculiar to our ENVIROMENT

I watch too many action movies for sure ha ha. Returning to African Third World reality, even a cash-strapped nation like Nigeria can certainly afford to buy DOZENS of Unmanned Aerial Vehicles (UAV), whose prices online range from $200 USD at the low end for hobbyist RC pilots, right on up to top-of-the-line professional grade GPS-guided drones carrying high-definition, high-magnification video cameras, and featuring way-point-programmable auto-pilots capable of returning to their launch site at the touch of a button, all for $10 thousand US dollars or less per fully kitted bird.

With that vital eye-in-the-sky hovering silently over active crime scenes and relaying LIVE, real-time video footage to an un-marked command vehicle parked just outside the hot zone, police speedboats or ground patrol teams can spring into action during the gang's vulnerable escape phase of the robbery, when the gunmen are crowded into one or two vehicles that can be tracked from the air, facilitating ambush by law enforcement operatives preemptively rushed towards coordinates relayed by the drone pursuing the bad guys at a height of a few hundred feet above the ground or lagoon where conflict with overhead electricity cables and cellphone antennae towers is minimized.

For the price of buying just ONE full-scale police patrol helicopter, a discerning, security-conscious government on a tight budget could wisely purchase several HUNDRED top-of-the-line UAV drones, along with the electronic gear needed to convert innocent-looking civilian 4WD trucks into clandestine mobile ground control stations that can be positioned up to a mile distant from shootouts and armed robberies, in order to inform a more effective police response to the unfolding mayhem.

With Lagos State Governor Fashola's record of bold, technically savvy and cost effective policy innovations during his illustrious tenure thus far, it should not come as a surprise if the use of drone technology is quietly adopted by the Fashola administration, then applied under a cloak of secrecy to great effect against violent daylight crime typified by occurrence in Lagos two days ago, which was the first after a 7-year lull in that genre of spectacular daylight attack.

[size=14pt]Your Excellency Governor Fashola sir, YOU NEED DRONES ! YOU NEED DRONES NOW ! [/size]