₦airaland Forum

Good to see a few gringos Americanos helping train the Nigerian troops. Yes sir the Nigerian Special Forces are packing some major heat, and with those visor covered helmets, they look like highly tuned killer robots, waiting to be unleashed on the virgin hunters.


It will be even better news when video footage starts to appear of US drones uniting Boko Haram terrorist swarms with their allocation of 72 in heaven.

Buhari is a stark illiterate who cannot speak the English language in a way that is understandable to educated people, therefore it is in his own best interests to avoid all venues where he might be called upon to engage in public debate.

Rather than allow his antiquated and militant world-view to be cross examined by a debate moderator, or worse still by an educated opponent such as incumbent President Jonathan, Buhari prefers to parrot his usual tired threats and bombast by way of press releases issued on his behalf by the token few of his dim witted followers who are capable of reading and writing.

The usual retinue of marabout ju-ju men have advised terror gang leader Buhari on the importance of instructing his hired Boko Haram slave-raiders to kill as many innocent civilians as possible, in order that the blood of the departed victims can be offered to Satan in ritual sacrifice intended to add more years to the life of the terminally sick and increasingly desperate former tyrant, Boko Hari, even as the AIDS virus ravages his emaciated corpse-like frame in the final onslaught that will lead to excruciating death hastened in no small measure by his impending and final election defeat.

bushdoc9919:




As a doctor....if he had dementia...he won't have been able to give a speech in the UK....even if he had someone helping him.

Nor would he be able to do the 30 day campaign he did.

Anyway.....I don't want him to win, neither do I want the PDP back.

I am tired , however, of the issue-less political discussions on this Nairaland....everyday it is joke after joke after joke.

I want to know what PDP or APC has planned for the future in light of the drop in oil prices....not how bad personally or spiritually the other guy is.

P.S....More about Dementia.

It is widely rumored that a ventriloquist accompanies the senile terror gang leader Buhari everywhere he goes, delivering speeches from behind a nearby curtain while Buhari silently moves his tobacco-stained, chain-smoker's teeth and lips accordingly, for the cameras.

Take a closer look at the next "speech" delivered by Buhari, Doc, and you will see how these rumors came about. The man is ready for that wheelchair and rocking chair, but certainly will NEVER be ready for any post of responsibility over anything more complex than his own eating, breathing and bowel movements.

omenka:
The scientists are saying your dad's blood isn't good enough to be experimented upon.

What else??

This is good. Thank you for the update.

bushdoc9919:
Hey....do you know Buhari's health history?

He probably exercises....and he appears to have maintained a normal bodyweight for most of his adult life.

Focus on your health....and if you must focus on Buhari....focus on his stated policies. He is probably healthier than you or i.

(Especially since he is a Fulani...they walk well well! )

Ha ha ha I will have you know that I wrestle wild buffalo and chimpanzees as my preferred form of physical exercise, so my doddering years are FAR far away in the distant future, I assure you.

Buhari, a man whose mental capacity was sub-par even when he was young, would amount to an absolute disaster in ANY position of public trust, now that Buhari has degenerated into the frail, dementia-addled geriatric we see today frantically searching for miracle cures to avert his impending mortality.

omenka:
Yes they are captured terrorists. Your dad told me the barber was too expensive so he left the damn thing just as it is.

What were you saying again??

Thanks for the confirmation. The prisoners should be used for medical experiments, rather than simply executed as before, thereby putting them to good, productive use by recycling them in furtherance of scientific understanding.

El Presidente Jonathan is in superb physical shape, and it is good to see that he has encouraged his wife to join him in the workout room.

Compare the young, fit, dashing and active figure cut by President Jonathan on one hand, to the doddering, geriatric, senile, inactive, emaciated, sickly and confused appearance of Boko Haram terror gang leader Buhari, as he sets his weakened sights on sustaining yet another monumental defeat at Nigeria's 2015 presidential polls.

The people in the green shirts. Are they captured Boko Haram terrorists ? I can see a lot of them got the scraggly beard thing going there.

soloafe:
PLEASE SHOW GMB SWIMMING OF JUGGLING.

Terror gang leader Bokko Hari enjoys herding cattle for relaxation, but now that he is too weak to walk due to his intensifying AIDS attack, Buhari merely follows the cattle herds in an air conditioned four-wheel-drive SUV, while issuing orders to the herders over a Bin-Laden style walkie-talkie radio.

It is during these holiday drives that Buhari visits his hired Boko Haram slave-raiders at their various camps, to make sure that they are adequately fed and armed for their attempt to TAKE OVER Nigeria's oil fields BY FORCE.

paBuhari:
My biggest mistak in life was not getting Waec catificat. Now I have becom a lafing stok in Nijeriya bicos I listin to one emir in north. They decief me, tell me dat I don't need catificat to enta army. Now am a disgras to yan Nijeriya. Pls Nijeriyan yuth, don't folo my exampul. Go to skul. Get educated. Make shua you hav yua catificat.

Baa kwome Paa Buhari, as pellow kwantiriman concern, I yamu telli you say education no need am fwa enter feresident of Nongeria.

Just tell zem zey will be jail, if you enter fwa feresident and begin to pass degree. Yowaaa

slimfit1:
Good to know that you know what is coming next take care.

A nuclear bomb perhaps ?

slimfit1:
You clearly don't know me

Relax dude. Nobody knows anybody here, and that is the beauty of ANONYMOUS forums.

I generally ignore rather than attack those that bore me, and you of course can feel free to do the same.

all4naija:
Shut your pile hole and get out of here!

Hey how's it going ?

Havin' a tough day ?

Don't worry, be happy.

slimfit1:
This is a deliberate mistake animal.

Just wait until I finish this keg of palm-wine. I go drive you commot for internet pata-pata, never to come back. No let me vess today o.

slimfit1:
I rest my case I should not be found arguing with you!

Ha ha ha ha NOT BE FOUND ARGUING with me ha ha ha.


No you are FOUND. The damage is done. You DID argue, and that is now on record for the rest of all time.


I can erase the record of this terrible mistake you have made, but the process is cumbersome, highly technical and time consuming.


For you ONLY, a special introductory price of 500 Euros will expunge all errors, blunders, indiscretions, felonies and misdemeanors from your record, but this offer will not last. Call me for payment details.

BluIvy:
Thank you for educating your fellow brothers. Use of mercenaries is against international laws. Same mercenaries are used in coups around Africa and for a democratic president to use such is criminal and corrupt.

Whether Nigerians hate SA they cannot deny the involvement of the SA mercenaries in the fight against Boko Haram. The SA intelligence and home affairs has already sounded an alarm over these mercenaries and have established that the Nigerian president personally employed them and have issued the warrant of arrest for them when they get back to SA.

If it is okay for Nigeria to screw up international laws it is not okay for them to use SA citizens to do so. The mercenaries faith is sealed unless they choose exile and Nigeria gives them citizenship. They are now international fugitives.

You have been reading too many Tom Clancy novels. Mercenaries, the "Dogs of War" have participated in virtually ALL armed conflicts that have occurred in Africa for the past half-century. While most of the Soldiers of Fortune are ex-military personnel, quite a number of thrill-seeking civilians do flock to war zones around the world, seeking to live out their boyhood dream of trading live fire with an enemy.

Now defunct organisations like Executive Outcomes and Sandline International once openly advertised the services of highly trained military personnel to join the fray for a fee, anywhere in the world, but particularly in West and Central Africa. and the involvement of such mercenary groups did have tangible and timely effects on the outcome of many an African brush war.

The term "Mercenary" is no longer as politically correct as it was the past few decades, so such guns-for-hire are referred to as "Military Advisers", "Security Consultants" and "Equipment Operation Training Personnel". With such implied legitimacy bestowed on them, the gentlemen once disparaged as mercenaries can retain their citizenship, dignity and freedom to travel worldwide without needing to be deceptive about their true identity. Have rifle, will travel.

slimfit1:
You do know that you are growing up ba. Let your intelligence be more than your stupidity.

This is what I get for trying to cover up the fact that Buhari is experiencing advanced stages of an AIDS infection that dates back to the heady times when as a young man, Buhari buggered domestic livestock with reckless abandon, under the moonlight in the paddock of his family's village farm amid the desert dunes of the Chad Republic.

It was not necessary for the online world to learn the true reason for Buhari's corpse-like appearance of recent, but on second thoughts the truth always emerges in the fullness of time anyway, so hey, ffuck it. Buhari is dying of INCURABLE AIDS, and that is a fact known to many.

All is fair in war. Good job Johnny. South Africans are effective managers of violence, and they will do a good job.

igbeke:
Buhari is not sick, but naturally lean;
How about this....?

Kai See tollo tollo neck. I go store this picture for later reference.

Kai See tollo tollo AIDS neck !

If Buhari can be encouraged to stop drinking human blood, he MIGHT regain his lost weight, but he could also die if prevented from enjoying his favorite drink of virgin's blood.

Ugly fat hos who never exercised in their whole lives, poison their bodies with mercury-based skin-bleaching creams, and wobble their lard-laden, overhanging fat stomachs around political campaign venues, offering that nasty, skanky gash for sale to the tasteless and the desperate.

Ugly women supporting a seriously ugly LOSING candidate.

Malive:
This is the worst and most senseless post have ever read in my life. You are a disgrace to your family and this Nation.

My pleasure sir. Delivering once-in-a-lifetime experiences is what I do best. Much obliged for the promotion of my humble work.

ocelot2006:
Oh, he travelled and is now back? Eya......We didn't even notice.....'had far more pressing issues to address than the old man's absence.

Btw, I hoped he branched Cambridge to collect his result oh. Anyway, welcome back. Daura misses you.

Unfortunately the Area Boys were rioting near Cambridge on the day our terror gang leader Buhari was supposed to go and collect his kindergarten diploma, so Buhari's visit to the Cambridge records office was postponed until the time of his next scheduled medical trip to London for the removal of the remaining testes that has been causing the 98-year-old so much pain of recent.

In the meantime the medical team responsible for executing Buhari's series of gender reassignment operations have appealed to the Nigerian people to kindly desist from asking Buhari about his academic records, in order to prevent undue stress from delaying the healing process that is essential at this critical moment in history.

Boko Haram terror gang financier Buhari's cadaverous appearance must be investigated by a CREDIBLE panel of medical experts, to ascertain whether or not the former military tyrant and coup-plotter is in fact clinically alive and producing measurable brain waves on a well-calibrated ECG screen, or if, as rumor has it, Buhari actually croaked back in 2007, a full FOUR years before his resounding 2011 election defeat.

With advances in robotics and tissue preservation technology, persistent rumors maintain that Weeping General Buhari kicked the bucket LONG ago, only to be "resurrected" in the form of an eerily life-like humanoid robot. The cause of this speculation must be investigated forthwith, if only to dispel rumors that a rubberized death-mask of Buhari was grafted unto an experimental robot created by an exiled North Korean surgeon gone rogue in Africa, working for a shadowy group dedicated to keeping Nigeria's southern oil fields under exclusive control of the country's northern elite.

To prove that he did not die and get deep-sized in 2007, Buhari must do the following RIGHT AWAY.

1. Tender his doctor's certificate proving that he is not actually dead
2. Submit his kindergarten certificate for close scrutiny by the Nigerian Electoral Commission.
3. Stop sobbing in public, every time there is news of Boko Haram terrorists being killed in droves by federal troops.
4. Refrain from weeping when yet another election defeat is handed down to him by the Nigerian people come March 28th 2015.
5. Allow tissue and brain samples to be taken from his person by independent medical experts flown to Nigeria from Bangladesh.


Thank you in advance for your patriotic cooperation, Bokko Hari, and may the best MAN win, at the upcoming presidential polls.

Adamantly denying rumors that he had undergone radical gender re-assignment surgery while in London, Bokko Hari commented to gathered reporters in the cabin that "My vlokos is complete, and nasing has been remove by ze doctors, other than ze the cancer of the balls, and ze rotten part of ze balls, yowaaa !"

Waxing eloquent, the terror gang leader joked that he was ready to take a new 13-year old bride "with immediate effect and alacrity, yowaa"

Thermodynamics

There is no cause for alarm. That police officer in the picture was NOT drunk, but rather was scanning the ground for clues to a crime that was committed there earlier.

The crime of carrying cash without government permission was ultimately solved, thanks to the diligent efforts of the officer, then, all suspects were shot, while the officer was duly promoted to full Inspector, after being summoned by senior officers for debriefing, collection of proceeds and tendering of exhibits and dividends.

Again there is no cause for alarm, and you may now continue about your lawful business as before.

I ain't gonna lie, this girl makes me hard as a 3-pekkered Rhino, I chit you not.


To those speaking ill of her jugs straining against her blouse, I can tell you with full authority that those are NICE ones, that have just the right amount of fullness and perkiness, without sacrificing lusciousness or elasticity. I could grope those for days without getting bored, for sure.

When is our man Krall going to publish his recipes for human meat stew ?


As fellow diners in the house are no doubt aware, human meat is known in some Polynesian islands as "Long Pig", and in Yoruba-land as "Eran Oniyo". Anything which has so may nicknames MUST be special, so we are eagerly standing by to read the next installment from Krall, as he moves up the food chain from lizards to "Long Pig".

blackjack21:
the first pic is not the UK, but it seem you're very ignorant of happening in the middle east.
10:16:48
Thu, Mar 5, 2015

You right about that my brother. Other than what I hear on CNN or SKY News, I couldn't be LESS interested about what goes on in the Middle East.

I have never in my life set foot in ANY Middle Eastern country, and I intend to keep that clean record until I am worm bait, thank you very much.