₦airaland Forum

justwise:
I know you will hate to read from me (you know why) but got no choice.

You are a joke, men like you creates evil women. you wasted her life, you used for her yrs, and suddenly you realized that she is not good enough for you , you knew all this for past 5-6yr.


How i wish she is bold enough to make your life hell, make you look less a man you are.

D[i]ickh[/i]ead

Won't curse you this time. But let me ask you, why are you blaming me so bad for this? You mean I should go on with the wedding even if my heart is not with her? A lot of different opinions here! Just confused

Tosinville:
OP
How about those wasted years, bro? don't be surprise if u and your bride get shot on that wedding day.

Now you got me scared here!

God help me

[quote author=Jenifa_ link=topic=738429.msg9020913#msg9020913 date=1314453507]well, the kind of cowardice you have is really unheard of and suggests to me that you might be indebted to her.

I read some of your previous posts and you have created topics in the past to the same effect that you do not love your fiance. so really why be so cowardly to drag her into this mess?

I really suggest you postpone the wedding and settle the debts or whatever it is that's keeping you from letting her know that you are messing up her life.

how old is she?
you may be able to find new women but if she is past a certain age, it will become harder for her and she will not forgive you for wasting her yrs.[/quote]I've finally told her yesterday whilst she was with her family. I was sad when saying it but had to make the decision. She burst out crying and couldn't believe it. She immediately told her parents. I couldn't confront the parents and had to dodge their calls. They however did called my mum and started pleading on her behalf.

My mum invited her parents over and they had a long talk. I wasn't there. In the end, my mum assured them everything is going to be alright. My mum and her friends called me to apologise on my fiancee behalf but I maintained my stance that I wouldn't go on with the wedding. We talking about someone i"m gonna spend the rest of my life with.

I've sat down and had a long thinking about this, I think I'm making the right decision. Don't just want to go into details other reasons why I'm not ready to marry her.

[quote author=Jenifa_ link=topic=738429.msg9010128#msg9010128 date=1314340865]na wa o.

Paris10, r u for real? I mean for a guy who is searching nairaland for a stranger to give his fiance the break-up message. lol
is this even real? 


i'm 100% sure a girl cannot force you to propose or date her for 6 yrs without there being a story behind it.

She must have invested a lot in you and that's why she's not willing to let go. You also although you don't love her, most likely have taken advantage of her financially. assuming she is not pregnant, I'm guessing she financially supported you for those 6 yrs. because I see no other reason why you would feel forced to propose to her.

My advice to you is to POSTPONE the wedding. Save, borrow money or do whatever you can to repay her completely. and then let her go. that way you don't owe her anymore.[/quote]Jenifa, you've gone too far. Who told you I'm indebted to this lady, huh? As regarding your suggestion to borrow, no thanks. I'm doing great and don't need any.

My fiancee have lived with me for the past months and I'm tired of seeing her and her nagging. I've told her today to go to her parents house till the wedding day. I might change my mind if I miss her

queenafric:
Since u havent taken up my offer, then i'll assume u'll tell your fiancee urself. Pls put her out of dis misery so she can at least try to move on wit her life.

Pls give me few days to finally decide. I'll get back to you

Thanks for your good gesture

I just hope the ground will ,

Wislet:
U dont need anybody's advice. Marriage is not a do/die affair. U should aim for peace of mind. You alone know wat your heart wants. If u deceived her, ask for God's forgiveness and hers, and move on. You dont wanna hate yourself and anybody else later on. It is not too late.

Still trying to convince myself it's not too late. All what my fiancee does now  is cry, cry and cry because I've been paying less attention to her.

But I haven't told her there's someone else. Got 4 months left for the wedding.

Wislet:
U dont need anybody's advice. Marriage is not a do/die affair. U should aim for peace of mind. You alone know wat your heart wants. If u deceived her, ask for God's forgiveness and hers, and move on. You dont wanna hate yourself and anybody else later on. It is not too late.

Thanks

MsSophista:
Both of you have parts to play in this sick r/ship fiasco.  Op-you for being cowardice, she-for not loving herself enough to leave permanently when you abused her.  You will beat her again when pressure mounts.  Leave her and every women alone until you seek godly counsel & deliverance!  True character can only be exposed by pressure.  Your abusive nature has been revealed.

That was a one-off thing. You know when you want to scare someone and you unintentionally hit them, that was exactly what happened. Although I did say I beat the daylight out of her, that was some exaggeration Poo.

I was so furious she couldn't leave when I told her to. I only wanted to put fear in her but ended up hitting her in the face. Sorry if this has offended you.

sexsinners:
sorry,but i hope she kills you.

You're not nice

micheall36:
Send me her number,will call her on your behalf,might marry her as well who knows?
but i wonder y u runing away from her
gets me scared, well another mans poison might be another mans meet.
but the truth remains being with a woman dat long even after your family en friends ask u to leave her
and now few months to your wedding, u wanna walk, its too bad, however,a thousand broken relationship
will is better than one broken marriage, these are things i have to make her undastand.

Are u serious you're going to call her? Let me know please

mamacy:
Some men are just so pathetic, u were in the relationship for 6 years, and yet u were able to cope with her despite the fact that she didnt meet up with your so called standards, you defiled your parents and friends' requests to be w her and now u met someone thats up to your standards, chai, ladies don suffer, a similar thng happend to me, but i didnt get depressed cos i know i ve what it takes to be a very good wife, be it education, beauty, character and what ve u, so it was the guy's loss at the end of d day, i hope the girl forgives u sha, cos u wasted 6 good years of her life, and as some pple commented, time will heal her wounds

And what exactly are u suggesting? To carry on with the wedding or follow my heart? In all, I still need forgiveness from her. I'm like a mini god to her but I don't want that. I want a woman who could challenge my psyche and intellect, a woman who could provide deep thinking and thought to my decisions in life.

This is what i'm trying to do now

lefulefu:
op but u worry o
a girl that stood for you thru thick and thin u wan dump am for one yeye cheap golddigger for naija
chie but wen some of us naija bobos go get sense na?
if u like make u dump your girlfriend of many yrs and go marry the naija girl wey u meet for naija but when u bring am come yankee and she dump u go marry one oyibo man make u no come here come cry o
a word is enough for the wise, chikena!

She ain't a gold digger because she's never ask for any penny from me or neither has she accepted my good gesture (money, phones,etc). She's ok and lives fine in Lagos

funkybaby:
She is not your average Nigerian lady, yet you have dated her for close to six years.

She's too stubborn yet you stuck with her for six years and even went ahead to propose and fix a wedding date.

What can i say. . . . . . You are just a bloody eeeedioott and you should get your brains checked !

Really? Yet you stuck with her for 6 years. I'm sure when it came to satisfying your s.exual needs, she understood you effortlessly and left you screaming her name to the roof top.

Anuofia ! 

I pray u understand. She's sweet and all that, but I'm in love with this other woman. I like her alot, but not love.

I pray that God forgives me and grant her the best husband ever

Just need someone bold on this forum to call her on my behalf and tell her my mind. I'll give you her digits. Pls someone come to my rescue, I can't go on like this.

aijay84:
wether you are being straight or not, if you don't feel comfortable with marrying her and you go ahead, you might end up in regrets and of course, you'd cheat on her. my only fear is dat, your fiance seem like someone who would kill you and kill herself if you don't marry her.

My thinking exactly.

jnr prof:
@poster, there's no point going ahead with the marriage. You've punished her enough already, marrying her will be an even greater punishment. But the question still remains, why on earth did u go this far when you knew she didn't meet up with the standards you wanted in a wife?? Its been said before, you need forgiveness!!! Remember, what goes around comes around. I hope all nairaland guys learn from this.

The same question I still ask myself till date. I have had doubt over her even before meeting the other lady. I don't know how to go about telling her this. She might just kill herself or even me. I'm really scared.

[quote author=Mynd_44 link=topic=738429.msg8949482#msg8949482 date=1313641682]You say you don't love her yet you stayed with her for 5 years, you defiled your mother to want to marry her and you had probably have been sleeping-with her. Guy it seems too me that the only thing you are looking for is trouble and I hope you find it.[/quote]Which one is the cursing part now? I believe its better now than get divorce after marriage

Roland17:
How much more selfish can u be as a man?, your type has continuously dragged men through the gutters of insult and disrespect from women. after 5 solid years of dedication and loyalty to you, after you have severally beaten the day light out of another man's daughter, probably leaving her with indelible scars that have tattooed her heart with pain, u now think u have fallen in love for someone more presentable, educated and chaste?

i don't have a problem with u not marrying her because u certainly like her out of pity, but u should have been man enough to tell her what u felt about her and advice her to move on and also stay far away from her, u have led her this far and u want to dump her? its easy for a man to move on after soooo many years, but when women love and get heart broken, its very difficult for them.

Do your self a favour, tell her the truth and please don't marry and stay far away from her, time would heal her.

I wish humans can be more careful when ever they are in love and not blinded by the Euphoria.

I don't see it as dumping. So u want me to ahead with the wedding and regret the rest of my life abi?

xxcarolxx:
Your a poor excuse for a man, What man beats his girlfriend to breakup with her, and then take her back, Plus you proposed to her and getting married in dec, Your pathetic,

I wasn't convinced but she insistently and persistently demanded that I engaged her. She was so forceful.

[quote author=tpia@ link=topic=738429.msg8948020#msg8948020 date=1313616066]Lol

beating the daylights out of her did you say.[/quote]I'm not proud of those moments. I'll never try that gain. I was so angry because she wouldn't leave me alone

kokoye:
You sound like you stayed with her for some 'reason' - now you have the reason and you dont want her anymore.

And you better thank your stars say she no call cops on you - you beat her to end the relationship . . are you serious??

Now you don go find woman for naija abi??

Well, no one can force you to stay with who you dont love.

But you used this lady.

You need forgiveness.  . that's all I choose to say without sounding mean

I know I need forgiveness. God will forgive but not sure about my fiancée.

She stayed with me for some reason and not the other way round

S

This is what I said in my other post regarding London burning:

Its been over a thousand years nearly since the signing of the Magna Carta and over 50 years the signing of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights which provides us with the UN Charter. Without doubt, or any excuse - Democracy is absolutely a right. Those who think otherwise simply do not know what the alternative would bring - or would prefer the alternative which is totalitarianism and dictatorship. Democracy is not negotiable and anyone who thinks otherwise smacks of the extreme right wing - as does so many of the comments I have seen on here about Black areas.

And do not be fooled about the media sensationalism of this so called riot nor neither be sentimental about the excuses these miscreant are giving, but one thing is obvious, corporate crime remains unattended to by the police and govt agencies alike.

David Cameron was so quick to point out actions to be taken against the looters, while they themselves have looted the treasury and deprive the deprived. Credit crunch was a perfect example of a corporate crime instigated by the govt and top executives to dupe you and I.

Although I stand for non-violence, but when all channels to address these youth problems and social deprivation and marginalization have failed, confrontation by violence seems the alternate solution. BCS 2010 concluded that black folks are seven times more likely to be stopped and searched, 8 times more likely to resort to crime due to deprivation of social status.

Is the riot then justified? I don't know, I believe violence only begat violence, and more hatred and social and racial divide will lift up its head once again.

Its been over a thousand years nearly since the signing of the Magna Carta and over 50 years the signing of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights which provides us with the UN Charter. Without doubt, or any excuse - Democracy is absolutely a right. Those who think otherwise simply do not know what the alternative would bring - or would prefer the alternative which is totalitarianism and dictatorship. Democracy is not negotiable and anyone who thinks otherwise smacks of the extreme right wing - as does so many of the comments I have seen on here about Black areas.

And do not be fooled about the media sensationalism of this so called riot nor neither be sentimental about the excuses these miscreant are giving, but one thing is obvious, corporate crime remains unattended to by the police and govt agencies alike.

David Cameron was so quick to point out actions to be taken against the looters, while they themselves have looted the treasury and deprive the deprived. Credit crunch was a perfect example of a corporate crime instigated by the govt and top executives to dupe you and I.

Although I stand for non-violence, but when all channels to address these youth problems and social deprivation and marginalization have failed, confrontation by violence seems the alternate solution. BCS 2010 concluded that black folks are seven times more likely to be stopped and searched, 8 times more likely to resort to crime due to deprivation of social status.

Is the riot then justified? I don't know, I believe violence only begat violence, and more hatred and social and racial divide will lift up its head once again.

Siena:
My bad, so this guy fired upon police.

This riot is shocking, I would say 98% of these thugs have never heard of the dead man, they're all jumping on the bandwagon. A great opportunity to pillage shops, destroy property and loot. The shame of it, and for what? Some fraggle - not a pillar of the community - being shot dead by police.

They say now that he didn't fire the gun he had, and that the bullets found at the scene, were police-issued It so turns out this guy did fire upon police. Er, excuse me, the man had a gun. What was supposed to happen, the police should wait to be shot first? Even a child knows that if you're waving a toy gun around, or table leg wrapped in something, you're likely to be shot, and questions asked later.

And it's not just Tottenham - Enfield, Hackney, Islington, Walthamstow, Brixton, Deptford, Peckham, Lewisham - all getting in on the action. And black faces of grown women (not just teenagers) with greed in their eyes, rampaging through stores with electronic goods. *shakes head in disgust*

A senseless riot, if it can be called that. More like mass-looting.

Shut it if you don't know what happened. He never fired against any officer, and neither was he holding any gun. Have you seen the recent update yet? Know your stuff before coming up here

slymm:
I would be carefull to use the word adulterous on muslims simply because their tradition/sharia allows them more than one wife. its their culture and way of life, i bet many christian men would love to marry more than one wife, if the bible did not frown against it. Moreover majority of christian men are adulterous in nature, and have a bevy of beautifull women they sleep with on the side, who are we christians to talk?

I believe a Muslim is a muslim regardless of ethnicity/tribe. The Hausa's were the original Muslims before the ignorant Yoruba leaders followed suit and copied the tradition.

Now, you guys believe that Allah is the same as God, I won't argue that, but if God says something in the Bible, shouldn't that be accepted in the Muslim world? How can a man and 4 wives become one? But two can become one, you can't dispute this, can you? If you then marry outside the "two can be one" saying then Promiscuity and adultery is in your blood.

bhusayor:
Impressive! Was pissed wen I read from paris but you did reply in a very good tone.

@paris, you really need to re-check the meaning of adultery.

I refrain from such word, is promiscuity the right word then?

MBG4Real:
I don't seem to believe this your quote of Nigerian law. What of the Muslims who marry up to four wifes. Are they not   Nigerians or are they exempted from this law.

For Mercy Johnson, don't let them spoil your plans for you.  If possible let your Edo Prince file and get divorce first, then go on with your mariage.

Muslims don't conform to constitutions when it comes to marriage, they have their own Sharia law that deals with bigamy and all. They can't go to court to marry because it would restrict them from their adulterous life i.e marrying many wives