₦airaland Forum

Sometimes,the phrase; single-parent or the most popular form,single mother, still comes across as a contradicton in terms simply because it takes 2 to tango.

Beyond those who understandably were forced into this state,it  seems nowadays that some ladies  increasingly now view this  social status as fashionable and indeed,  a more convenient state to aspire to.

What are the factors responsible for this?Have you ever seen yourself going for this option?

Well said.Go back to Nija,u even stand a better chance of getting visa if u want to go back to the US later on.And as a doctor,the US is the place to be,though legally.

teeroy:
that was a nice objective contribution , keep it up]

thanks

My heart was just touched by the experiences of u people caught in parental disapproval for marrying the love of your lives because of different ethnic backgrounds.Its so unfortunate.I have seen many of such marriages and happy ones at that.My coz is married to an Ibo lady(am yoruba) and they are happy for more than 15yrs.I mean almost every everybody would have seen such.I use to crack jokes about some married women in a place I worked in Lagos.The one that was Mrs Azubuike was a yoruba woman,the one that was Mrs Ikubo was an Ibo woman.And they are happy in their respective marriages.
One expect that your parents after staying outside Nigeria and mixing with other people would at least be more open minded but its not always so.While living among other people make other people to be more accommodating and less prejudicial,sadly for others it does just the opposite.On the other hand u could find people with limited exposure in Nigeria accepting cross cultural marriages.Talking about the civil war and what not is just pathetic.
It depends on u,some of our parents cave in when they see our resolve in even things like this,u could try to make them see reason and hopely with prayers they would come round to  allowing u  pursue your own destiny.

@Ijebuman.One of your pics of LA displayed still showed a blackman sitting,dressed in brown jacket over blue jeans cutting a pathetic figure of despair.Do all the continents have problems?yes.Does Africa has more than the others? it is certainly so.Do the media cover more bad news than good news? yes,but not only in Africa.I think on the whole Africa has got more crisis at the moment than other parts,hence the 'negative' media attention.That's the purpose of the media anyway.
Would u hav prefered that the media played more role to halt the genocide in Rwanda in 1994?
Its good we get our argument right,a lot of  the journalists that report African crisis do so for altruistic purposes,they are hardworking professionals who wants to prick the conscience of the world not just for the sake of 'Heart of Darkness' curiosity.
Although I would say it's good to strive to have a balanced view at all times.

One cannot but stand in awe of the talent Okocha is.Personally, I think him not winning the African footballer of the year would in the future put a question mark on the integrity of the givers of the award  when they gave it to Hadji from Moroco and the first time  they gave it to Eto'o.
He still remains and ever,one of the most gifted footballers in the world of all times!
Having said that,I think Obi(let's pray he doesnt become another Etim Esin) at the moment plays more purposeful and matured football Okocha played at his age.His vision,composure,ability to hold the ball and release it at the right time marks him out for his age,he's got dribbling skill too!I think he should learn how to take freekicks like Beckham and Okocha to make him a more rounded midfielder.If he can develop these potentials and avoid life on the fast lane,(he's got great looks like George Best to tempt him) then his future is indeed bright.But for now he remains JUST A GREAT POTENTIAL beside Okocha.
Lest I forget,let's try to avoid 'second wife syndrome'.By this I mean belittling great players of yesteryears because we've suddenly found 'replacements'.It's a sign of ungratefulness and gross immaturity.
I was saddened by a fan weeks ago when he put Oruma down by saying Mikel was bro't in one of the matches in Egypt  and he showed Oruma that he doesnt know how to play football.The question I asked him was where was Mikel in Japan93 when Oruma emerged as the MVP in a FIFA organized competition.Mikel was a runner-up to Messi in a similar competition.

Sometimes,I wonder what length we're going to stretch our 'civilization' to.I think u can get the answer u want to get(just in case u don't already know the truth) by making 'obvious' observations,and asking simple questions.
A lot of what is going on is what is called counterculture;just plain rebellion against the values of our parents,but we know they had more stable relationships and marriages than our generation because they had more respest for moral boundaries and were more willing to make sacrifices.
It would be worth your while to research the statistics of the western world where some of these counterculture currents flow from to see how far their 'civilization' has taken them,and u will be convinced that it is better to stick to the time-honoured values of hallowed respect for decent courtship and marriage in the ways we have known it.Most of the relationships,marriages, 'partnering' in the western world is much like the London weather,notoriously unstable!
To put it plainly,it has not been shown that people who co-habit have more successful marriages,in fact the opposite is the truth.Some just chicken out when they 'fall out' of love since there is no binding law for the unholy union.

It's a strange world full of ironies.isn't it?
Those at home are desperate to run out,some abroad are roaring to go back.
Let's hope everybody gets his/her heart desire and have the courage to live it thru.
People like me,after surviving the Nigeria university educational system in its worst decade (the 90's) vowed, if God help me, not to have anything to do with it again.And am still believing this to come thru.

attractive,godly,intelligent

kaygirl,i think u should go to your village or try your village meeting if u're not at home.Better still  tell your g/mother to look out for u! 

Flower,that's so interesting! isn't it?
I guess the word of God is applicable to our everyday living.
And we are so blessed if we  take advantage of that.

Be  anxious for nothing,but in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God,and the peace  of God which passes all undestanding will guard your heart in Christ Jesus.Phil 4:6.
When I meditate on this,I become energize to put every situation under control.

Just use google search,type in 'Nigerian papers'.u can get to see most of the Nigerian papers.I will advise u to try Guardian or Punch,I know these 2 have helped track down people before.Wishing u the best.

Oliseh's goal against Spain in France 98

Its not modern slavery at all.
In the days of slavery,u're forced into the ship,on to the plantation.u're not allowed to go back.REMEMBER kUNTA kUNTE?
With visa lottery,u fill the form,pray to win it,throw a party when u do,and off to the US u go.then u send money home through Western Union.
U're free to pack your load and go back if u so wish.u're not bound by chain.
No doubt many lives have been change positively by it.{education,career,etc}
Somebody aptly observed,that in the days of slavery u need a whip to drive people into the ship,but today,u'll need whip to drive people from the ship bound for the US.

just left nija.its not been lifted.

dejiolowe,I still think the topic is relevant even if you've heard it before.If you agree that reading is a good habit to cultivate, then I think it's in order to stimulate others or be encouraged by others in the habit.I would admit I dont read now as much as T want to;you know,the cares of this world......
Am familiar with Fagunwa,I read most of his works.Recently,I read Purple Hibiscus,Waiting for An Angel by Helon habila.Also The Famished Road by Okri,although I could relate more with his Flowers and Shadows.I also love Soyinka,I've read Ake,Isara,The Man Died and a few others.
I dont think Adichie is bland at all,or Habila try and read them.

It's not a honourable thing to do.It's immorality at its extreme.Some few percentages do get married,but the majority of the ones I've seen ended on a very bitter note.The ladies usually end up being heart broken for it.You may argue its not always about sex,but tell me how can you stay with somebody you are in love with without.......
For christians,you are encourage to flee all appearances of evil.If you dont want to eat the Devil's fruit,stay away from his orchard!

I am not sure if it was Myles Munroe who originally said,"if you want to hide anything from a black man,put it in a book".
Nigerians are no exception.

In a recent post UME test conducted by one of the universities,a question was asked about who the author of "Things Fall Apart" is, one of the candidates answered, "Sani Abacha"!

Why do you think we suddenly become cold and bored when it comes to books? What's the use of reading anyway?

december is a long way off.I very much doubt if I'll still be in Nija that time.

I didnt know my innocently assumed name,comes across as feminine! i be man o!
where do you stay and when do you want to visit nija?

I guess I can say am well travelled within Nija.Lived in Ilorin,Jos,Bauchi,Makurdi,Gboko,Ekiti.I 've had course to visit(or even stay for some time) in several other towns and cities;Zaria,Kaduna,Kano,Azare,Akure,Kabba,
Daura(Katsina),Maiduguri,Abuja,Minna,Lokoja,Owerri,Enugu,Offa,Ibadan.etc I love JOS, may be more than any other town,because of its beatiful scenery,rolling hills,gorgeous weather,the best town for me in Nija.Spent more than 7 yrs there,so u can understand my fondness for the Plateau.
Presently I live in Lagos,a very mad place in my reckoning.
I'll love to visit the South-South region,Calabar(wont mind Edika ikan),PH,Benin.etc

U should endeavour to check Guardian on tues & thurs,sometimes u get to see locum ads.U could also check the association of private & general practioners secretariat in surulere.Its at Sam Shonibare st,in Lawanson area(once u get 2 Shonibare,its pretty easy 2 locate it).Its just a stone throw from LUTH.U have hospitals vacant locum posted on the notice board there.U could even drop your own contact addy there in case of any openings,and u could be contacted.God bless.