₦airaland Forum

BukkyDan:
Note: this is really going to be a long gist, and I know I'm not supposed to bring this up here... but I really do need your advice, you know...your opinion, thanks?

I've been friends with Mr Jay for like... since 2013, and we started dating officially December 2017 (after much pressure from his side).
I'm in my early 20s and this is my first relationship, hey! not cos guys were not coming but mum still thinks I'm a child (different story). J ni

When I and Jay got started, I was about to round up my service year. I got a job at my state of deployment, Jay asked me to resign and come back home so we can be together. I did, came home (we both reside in the same state) and I started looking out for a job. I was trying to be submissive cos one of the reasons my parents got separated was this issue of career and submission

It's five months into our relationship but then:

1) He talks about his exes and other female friends, how they want him et al all the time... #who cares anyways

2) He made me cut off all my male friends cos he believes they are threats. well?

3)I dare not miss his calls or I'd have to apologize for the next 24hrs #not exaggerating

4)He's never gotten me no gifts... yes I've done same countless times #flowers, chocolates, books and any kinda gift at all would go a long way.

5)We've never gone out on a date, no breakfast, brunch, lunch or dinner dates. We don't even get to hang out. I tried to take him out a couple of times(bills on me) then I got accused of something else.

6) No Pictures of us together on either our phones... not anywhere

7) He always wants me coming to his house, so we get to see only at his house, then after every church service(so I don't get to relate with no-one,) and I dare not keep him waiting.

He calls me all the time, and I have to report my location and what I'm doing ATM.

I know we're both not perfect and I'm trying not to put pressure on him. I've never asked for material things, cash or kind, he's never offered and I'd definitely refuse if he had.

I really don't want to be the reason why this whole thing crashes, I tried to talk to him and he got all emotional asking me not to leave him et al...

It's exhausting, I feel myself drifting away. This is the first for me, but I can't count the number of times I've apologized, cried, had sleepless nights ...

please I need you all to talk to me... am I over-reacting? what do you think I should do?

Thanks for your time.

pedrilo:
bros naira no get value again oh. Go market go buy baby tins, sch fees for uni no be beans. In fact naija is drifting backward. Our parents lived in a better country.

Deji63:
And the working class ATM. How much will she be earning when oga dey earn 30k that isn't enough for transport in the Metropolis not to talk house rent, feeding the family, school fee and extended family wahala? This your advice get k leg. Marriage needs money.

lawrykings:
i am in similar situation, though in my own case there's never deception from me to her, i tell her the truth anytime, even before having our first ever sex yet she still show me love even to family, she was recommended to me by my Sisters, she seem cool, well mannered, intelligent, 19 years and am 23 but my problem and what i really dont like is the fact that she is short and i am too.

the thought of the kind of short kids she will bear me when married irritates, sir pls, what do you think in my own case? thanks in anticipation

jaykorbs:
Hi nairalanders, this is my story, don’t judge me, just advice me on a way out, there is this lady I asked out towards the end of 2016, I will be frank with you, my sole aim back then was to hook up with her and for us to enjoy sex together, basically, I was just after sex. I know nothing about the lady.

She was teaching in one primary school in my area at that point in time, I said a lot of shit back then just to get her to say yes, as I got to know her, I found out she had lost both parent at a tender age and so many other things, she has really passed through a lot, herself and her junior sister.

As time goes on, the relationship gained an exponential momentum and before I could realize what was going on, my family and friends dan sabi her, calling her my wife, let me add that she is 19 and I am 24 (just wrote my last undergraduate exam a
couple of months ago, while she is currently working at one food canteen).

Over the course of 2017, I have picked up a lot of manly lessons and have decided to set my life in order in the coming year, yes, I have dropped a lot of boyish attitude and selfish characters, I can confidently call myself a changed individual, although a lot of improvement still have to be made.

As I mentioned earlier, I have decided to set my life in order this coming year, with her being part of it, the truth is, I don’t love her, but to my understanding, she really loves me, I am currently still in this relationship because I am afraid of making her sad, I am in this relationship at the moment because of pity, she will be devasted when I break up with her, my friends are telling me not to go ahead with it, that I am about to make a big mistake if I call off the relationship, I just know I don’t love her, I very much like her, but the love to consider her for marriage ain’t there. She is beside me as I type this, I seriously need help on how to call of this relationship without breaking her spirit because she is a fighter.

adusco:
Bro, this write is relevant to my present situation, I finished my service in Abuja last month and used it to network and meet several people but to my surprise, they have not been responding to.my mails and texts, so annoying, seems they only want to use you and make empty promises, many of them like that, uncles, in-laws and the rest with their empty promises, I'm always sick when I sit down and think about it, going to 2 months now, I can't even bear it again, life seems like there is no hope again. I can't even count the number of organization I have sent my CV to. I'm just tired

mizhefeh:
Congrats to my fellow Corp members, our case shall b different

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