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zboyd

What is your opinion on this --- its your post

Pastor Adeboye Sends A Warning To Singles In Marriage

NIGERIA - "Those of you who go to your pastor to pray for you and tell you who to marry if care is not taken, you will become a victim of lies. You are simply lazy. No pastor or prophet should tell you who to marry. They are to pray along with you, counsel and guide you using the Word of God. If you fail to pay the price to hear from God on that matter, you may be deceived. God can use your pastor or a genuine prophet of God to confirm what He had already told you. Many homes have been established on falsehood and that is why things are falling apart and the center can no longer hold. Some pastors are seriously into match-making. They have taken over from the Holy Spirit. Match-making remains God’s prerogative and He has not delegated it to any pastor."

zboyd: The solution to stopping predatory pastors and their minions is simple -- get rid of them -- they are poison to the church.

I have no premises or assumptions. What I have are testimonies from single women in my church and other churches who are fed up with pastors telling them that God is the ultimate matchmaker, as they get older and older. The oldest ones are past childbearing age, still chaste (so they say), still lonely and increasingly bitter. For them, God has not been the ultimate matchmaker, as they are still single and childless and, in THEIR minds it WAS wrong for them to believe their pastors who told them that God was going to send them a worthy man to marry.

And...they still have NO HUSBANDS!

Your response is quite long but i will endeavour to respond to your comments

You say you have no assumptions and basically report based on peoples accounts however your writeup misses those who actually get husbands

It also does not include the fact that some women are not just marriageable..

Secular means venturing out of the church environment and start joining clubs, social and charitable societies and organizations for singles, volunteering, etc., so as to meet marriageable men. If no such organizations exist, then start one. Sometimes, relocation is necessary.

Marriages are like snowflakes -- no two are alike -- or work alike. What works in one marriage may not work in another.

Generally, the keys to a healthy marriage are as follows:

Friendship - Love - Intimacy - Individuality - Good Communication & Listening Skills - Fun - Happiness - Willingness To Compromise - Fidelity -Honesty - Courtesy - Respect - Unselfishness - Patience - Affection - Sound Mind & Body - Willingness To Give Each Other Space - Ability to Fight Fair - Empathy - Children - Financial Health - Willingness To Pitch In Around The House


*Statistics don't tell the full story because not all women report their ordeals. They fear retribution, so they keep silent.

Below are links and news articles that provide some insight into what some women endure at the hands of exploitive men:

What you have written is not secular but normal element of social interactions
I expect an individual to be well rounded not only spiritually but balanced in all aspects


Any one who is so church centric has issues.

There are manipulators in the church and the aim is to get them out .. we are agreed on that

However saying that the church has no purpose in spousal selection makes you out as an alarmist
Being alarmist is not helping your crusade

Huh

tomiobj: So nigerians watch this. Wow,good to know. Tot I was the only one

My bad...You didnt look it..

I agree it should ideally be a thing of the mind but its not always so

Well done

MizMyColi:
Pickbeau1 I think I am plus size
A standard size 12
13 during PMS

I have seen girls who are way bigger than me that I couldn't help but admire their freshness and beauty.

It's all in the mind.
Everyone knows by now that I'm against devaluing people and using condescending words


More Memes

MizMyColi:

interesting pics and quotes,... hwever you dont strike me as plus size lady

just an aside though,,, what is the point of this article when u say serial wife

Is the fact that she has had 2 husbands the issue or that she did not properly disengage before re engaging

I will have thought the term will be reserved for people who have had at least 3/4 marriages

4llerbuntu: You guys NEED to see this : http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/row-zed/12-stages-arsenal-fans-reacting-4150792

use a browser that supports javascript and and plays gifs.

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The poll says 86 percent to 14 that he will do well at the Emirates

nice dp.. but y d pout

Teespice: team chubby or should I say fat

and I am so loving the way I am.


gone are the days when I whine about my size.

Godmystrength: talk to her again and again with the hope that she will change, if she doesn't,ignore her (the silent treatment),if no changes, then pray for her .

On prayer to change a stubborn spouse... This may help since the technique worked for one guy based abroad
...https://www.nairaland.com/1864516/imperfections-marriage-pav-2

Godmystrength: why are you repeating yourself now??

I am but a pencil in the hands of the Creator..

It is easier to say than do

Godmystrength: even in this her case?

Madam... what can i say

Are u not aware the mainstream view for some is that if ur man cheats on you, cheat on him..there are available men waiting on the corner to be activated like remote control.. though in this case there is no male cheating.. the principle still applies..

She should keep up the good fight

Try Try Try again... she is wailing and gnashing cos na one chance she enter

Dygeasy: Oops! I left the fiancee out. My bad!

How do you know the guy is innocent

A lot of these stories are one sided

Unfortunately, women are not primarily after looks.

When a man gets a warning is when the money he spends on her or gives her falls by 30% and she still has options of decent-looking toasters with deeper pockets, who are ready to commit, care about her, respect her, is tall enough, finished university, has a good job, loves his mother, his mother is not a witch, has no babymama or at least the babymama is out of the picture or remarried, has not more than 2 kids but preferably none, can dress nicely, smells nice, can take her worst BS and still smile at her, says 'I love you' everyday or at least 3 times a week, can cook and is willing to share domestics blah blah blah blah blah.

on point... i wonder why some feel women have no standards...

Some of the points raised in your post are facts however while highlighting the priblems, you are silent on a solution or a way forward
Your premise is that being religious will not help your desire to be married.

Can you provide statistics to back up your claim?

You are discarding the relevance of being chaste as being 'pure' is deemed to be wasteful venture

You mention secular means of gettig husbands.. can you talk on them

I notice you are silent on what the women bring to a marriage but rather assume that single women just need to show up to be marraigeable and that those in church are doing something wrong.

zboyd: In some churches, you have single women in their 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond who took vows of chastity, promising to keep themselves 'pure' (or so they claim) for their future husbands.

And what has staying 'pure' gained them?


NO HUSBANDS!

Some pastors have even resorted to passing out prayers to lonely single women, like the one below.

NO HUSBANDS!

How long will single women wither on the vine of singlehood, never experiencing true love and intimacy with a man that fits them perfectly?

How long will they continue to wait for God to send them a man -- a lifetime?

How long will they wait for a man, worthy of being called husband, to magically appear on their doorstep -- a blessing from God -- forever and a day?

Maybe other avenues should be explored, in this matter.

If single women are fed up and frustrated about not being married, maybe they should take their future desires into their own hands and be more proactive, by availing themselves of all the secular means of meeting good marriageable men.

It's said that God helps those who help themselves.

Of course, they can always continue to work their hearts out in the church, pray faithfully every night and continue to sow seeds, in return for the blessing of a God-sent man to marry, while watching the best years of their lives pass them by.

Copyright © 2014 zboyd

if this story is true.. i laugh doubly

reminds me of some posters here who threaten to have a boytoy on standby if their hubby focks up
Na so e easy

i hope she is not pregnant though...

In life if u start a task n fail, persevere and try again... hope she used protection...

Godmystrength: People are shouting SELFISH now. As if it is not people that will divorce their spouse for various reasons.........A man that will divorce his wife because she is getting fat or a woman that will divorce her husband because he is broke.....
We are talking EBOLA here. Safety first o

It is easier to say than do

It is easier to say than do

cococandy: But we weren't talking about spanking were we?
We were on the koboko and pepper angle.

Anyway I've chilled.

OK...fair enough

cococandy: All na parenting.

And for all we know,it may be causing issues between some couples.

Chill.

You also should chill
You have strong opinions on spanking..have u forgotten we have discussed before
Raising a new thread will not lay this one to a wasteland

Godmystrength: but what the woman did is not even beating now. I can imagine the pain and all for the little boy

Beating, whipping, scolding etc or else this thread will be spoiled..however its you n snazzylove call..

Oahray: seconded...

I think so too

Godmystrength: because they allowed the men.

ok...

hmm... maybe a new thread should be opened so that the pros and cons of beating can be well discussed

Godmystrength: truly both sides share the blame but not equally IMO. I blame the women more (except those that were raped etc)

Fair enough...

As an aside though im curious as to why u assign more blame to the woman

Godmystrength: okay

thats my opinion though.. what do you think

Estacy00: a male.

A lot of the respondents assume you are female and want to house a guy

For me.. dont start something you cant end

If you can help him and he is trustworthy and u will not feel the pain.. go ahead
You never know when u will need his help in life

OP.. are you male or female

Ok.. we dey wait for update

5minsmadness: My brother
Those writers in lit section are trying aswear
Don't know how they do it.
Will update as soon as I can

tragic

Now you have posted the mainstream view that some females in the family section want to hear
You have gotten on with the program

5minsmadness

How far with zombie tales na

Godmystrength: I don't even blame the men at all. I blame the women that have been following men to those places

Both sides have some share of the blame

priscaoge: Birds of a feather...Quite unfortunate

its alright... always knew you were mouthed... thought u had piped down with your praise God posts..

enjoy