₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
I could write a whole thesis on the issues the west has. Are we talking about Germany, France, UK, US, Australia, Canada or which west?

The day we would focus on our issues and not blame the west for it, that will be the day.

It's irritating to say the least.
Yay we don't have minds of our own. The west tell us what to do and how to behave every step of the way. Why does that not offend you?

Oh well let's agree the west is to blame.

Nope


Your post has no correlation to my post

Westernisation definitely has some side effects as you know

Rather than using bravado and sarcasm to make your points..argue constructively

His point was clear

Being proud as a Baby mama is not an African thing
Development and modernisation

Same with the gay thing

If you are offended by the ease of assimilation of western values that is a separate thing

That can also be discussed but dismissing the whole thing is not the way

cococandy

The day you agree the West also has issues... that will be the day

If not for BABE3, this argument will have gone for pages

In the old days and even in the bible

If a man impregnated a woman, he married her... babymamism was not a thing of pride

Na wa

nice debate 2good,TV01

TV01:
Feminism will have to be expunged, with a reversion to at least some elements of what used to be - even if modified somewhat. This will of course mean some changes to the law in hose countries that are "infected".

Feminsim does not care about children or men and in truth, long-term will not even benefit women. It may even be women that lead the charge for change. It may have to be, men are pretty powerless or in thrall to the "agenda". http://www.avoiceformen.com/feminism/lauren-southern-why-i-am-not-a-feminist/

They are still using useful fools to infect our women sha - http://edition.cnn.com/2015/07/06/opinions/nigeria-america-gay-marriage/


TV

Now u have answered my q

That's why I said his option was not realistic

option 1 is what is causing issues for guys who come here to marry naija ladies who then become harridans due to the laws means

option 4 is also not the best really... nothing like a companion to bond with (not physically)

Its really tough nd its not the best for the kids

Cristiano Ronaldo got his kid via surrogate, dated and dumped his long term girlfriend, is dating another one now

No mother for the kid

If this method becomes more low cost and affordable for the middle class, normal people, then we are in trouble

Not the best for the kids

TV01:
Cohabitation laws and what is considered "common-law" or a "de-facto" relationship are fast changing. That they should be granted any form of legal status - apart from what the couple themselves both agree - is already a farce. Previously, they had to at least marry you and have a kid.

I envisage they continue to be tightened, to the degree that once a woman can prove a substantive relationship with a man, she will be able to make a "claim" against him in the event of a break-up. A few restaurant receipts, film ticket stubs, knowledge of your crib, your phone number sef .

In the near term, sharp men will continue to navigate this minefield, and perhaps even prosper if their aspirations are merely around "scoring" - a players market. Even then you'd have to be devoid of strong religious or cultural morés re relationships.

Long-term, it is unsustainable for either sex and deleterious for society as a whole. There are some options, but they are not fail-safe, have limited scope or are not suitable for all.

1. Marry women from countries or communities with a deeply engrained marriage culture. But we know how bringing women to the West can contaminate them with the feminsit ideology.

2. Live and marry in a country that hasn't legally codified this madness. Which rules out living in what we term "developed" nations

3. Go your own way - totally eschew relationships with women. Patently unworkable for most !

4. Make your interactions with women purley transactional; i.e. pay for sex and try and keep female friendships - if you need those - purely platonic. Afterall, many relationships are pretty transactional in nature anyway.

Both 3 & 4 would be all but impossible for those with strong religious inclinations or with strong marriage cultures. If you want kids - and to be an active ever present part of their lives, and in conjunction with their biological mother, which is best for them, then you are at the mercy of these laws.

Marriage or children or evidence of a substantive relationship are all it will take - they've got men by the short and curlies in the West.You therefore have to, weigh up the risks and choose very wisely. The truth of the matter is, until the laws are changed, men there are playing against a stacked deck.

Me I went to God 0!


TV

mredwifeosband:
and what is wrong with that . must he be part of her life? Agreement is agreement. Raising such issues up is like going to the beehive unprotected and expecting bees not to sting. Let everyone face their issues and be happy. Full stop!

Period

2good:
Cohabitation can become common law marriage in 2 years in some countries.

lol

date and dump before 2nd anniversary of relationship?

This is not life


What of those who want to have kids?

mredwifeosband:
no be only want na wanted
do they want something that you have signed not to want. Shioor

ok

So you have deliberately had a kid that you do not want the father to be part of her life

Nkan nbe

mredwifeosband:
side chic of a single man who is just good for a spam donor not partner

ok.

So what if he wants the kid later in life

2good:
It is most likely not realistic that is why the only solution for a man in the west is just to limit his risk as much as possible if he doesn't want to be slave of the system. Avoiding marriage and cohabitation is the surest way to limit your exposure to the decay in the system.

How many years does it take before cohabitation becomes common law marriage
Now I see why Ronaldo sacked his long time girlfriend Irina Sharyk within 4 years and is dating someone else

Do you think this can become a life style

- Date and move on before 4 years
- Use a surrogate

The issue is how many people can afford surrogacy and getting someone aside the mother to look after your kid

So whose side chic are you, since marriage is overrated
Its always your friend, my sister

What about you

mredwifeosband:
Roftl.

Gone are the days when Women were stewpeed .This days they aren't anymore. The number of stories that touch testimonies that flood the Internet this days is enough to discourage or turn off some women from marriage. Being Mrs somebody doesn't pay anymore. The most important thing is having your kids.

Some of my friends have kids for 3 different men who are financially ok without getting married to anyone of them



the stories that touch is enough. Who wants to start looking 59 when she just started her life. Shiiiorr


Abi who doesn't want to eat her cake and have it. Who doesn't want to be pampered financially and otherwise


next

Tosyn007:
I think the crap of a story book was made for our children. Where da is Pickabeau aka Orochimaru?

cc: tayoccu

Hello
I have not started reading gaiden
Maybe will start soon

2good:
A strike from western men until the laws change. Men should just avoid women as much as possible because the marriage and cohabitation laws does not favour them.

Very drastic ... is it realistic

How many years before cohabitation becomes common law?

2good:
There is nothing like companionship in this modern world period! You only get some sense of companionship as a man when the women pretends for as long as she can to either get you to sign the marriage documents or as long as required for her to get a common law marriage status after cohabitation under the law and you watch the state come after you if she chooses not to play anymore.
If you divorce or separate, you are mostly banned from seeing your kids, you have to spend a fortune in court to get to see them plus you have to pay her own legal fees, then after going through all the huddle and getting some visitation time, she can still decide not to allow you see the kids and the court will not enforce their ruling, on top of that you loose your finance, your home but still have to pay the mortgage and bills on the house. How is that men don't see all this things before they choose to marry and have children in the west with western women?

Hmm.... I get this

So what do you propose

2good:
In my opinion, the guy is very stupid for even proposing to the woman in the first place after she told him she is pregnant. When married and divorced men advice young men not to get involved emotionally with western women in the current legal climate, they refuse to listen and come back to complain of their predicament when their wife/ baby mama start putting them through hell in the feminist run court.
I tell every guy I meet here in the west not to get married to a westerner or even live together with one if they want to live a peaceful life that is devoid of drama. One of my colleagues who is British impregnated his girlfriend and was contemplating on marrying her till I exposed him of the reality of British court system which he was not even aware of. He later told me that he spent hours thinking of what might happen to him if she chooses to walk away after marriage, putting him on child support and alimony and also come after his pension in the future all in the name of the fraud called marriage, which will end up making him a wage slave.
The reason why I am happy about the situation is that many young men below 30 are now beginning to avoid marriage and having children altogether like a plague, after seeing what daddy went through in the hand of mummy and the feminist run court.
The guy should forget about the children and getting married all together if he wants to live a good life.

So what do you propose in terms of companionship etc

Because cohabitation too is a mine

In addition to all that has been said,

I will repeat what I said on your other thread


What is your selling point aside your petite figure and the fact that you work

Will you be a good wife and mother?
Are u a woman that inspires trust and will not alienate family members
Do you respect traditions and values
Can you cook?
Are u good with kids

If so... then u have no issues... take time off , get involved in other activities, travel once a while (you are already in the west).. its only a matter of time

netotse:
That mad max sucked big time Jo...the only plus to watching it was that it was with the missus. Wasted two hours of my life...Lol.

have u gotten the info from ajanlekoko

Kimoni

No one is guarding anything

Kimoni:


Pickabeau.... guarding the men's room like national treasury

No one is guarding anything

Lol

No marriage is overrated comments?

So our ladies like marriage like this?

Haha haha


ZebaReba
From your comments..he is a traditional man


Search yourself first
Are u really a wife material or have imbued the western feminist dogma so he wonders if it is worth marrying you

Can you cook or u r d takeout wife who will burn his income with eating out all d time?


Have you guys discussed how life will be with kids in the pic..childcare in the west is not beans...are u ready to take time off work to nurture your kids?

In that case if you are
1. Approach him and ask him lovingly where he sees your relationship going
That You guys have been together for three y and you need to know.

2.ask him why he has not introduced you to his family

3. If it's financial (wedding) do you mind a simple court thing and just trad in naija so as to minimize travel costs

4. If it's not and still he does not give a tangible reason...then you know what to do...move on


No one should make you feel bad for wanting to marry

You can do this in less than six months as in becoming married after all you have been courting for 3

Good luck

Na wa o

una don turn here to political room

for action buffs...I recommend Run All Night

IamSassy:
Lol, Sassy means different things. The 'sassy' i mean does not mean what you are thinking. it means confident, lively, stylish.
NB: I ain't rude

sassy- while there are other synonyms, the most common association is typically the first one

: having or showing a rude lack of respect

: very stylish

: confident and energetic

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sassy

TV01:
As ever, people are free to live their relatiosnhips as they see fit - and they can deem them successful by their own criteria. But the bible is clear, and for good reason. I take no exception to peoples individual dynamic and arragngements, only to peoples butchering of the scripture.

I read one thread where someone told Pickbeau1 that when they couldn't agree, they called on a 3rd party - can you make this stuff up .


TV

I was shocked when I saw it
Modern women

LOL

dinachi:
A real woman [size=18pt]is an odourless[/size], disease free, loyal, intelligent, woman who worships the man in her life. She will never do anything to hurt her man, she is selfless, she kind, she is understanding and she is gainfully employed with her hands.
She truly has the fear of God, very submissive and finally she supports her man emotionally, financially, spiritually and physically.

[img]http://.net/thumbnail/1126.gif[/img]

IamSassy:
Hello nairalanders, pls, i just need you guyz to explain something to me.
I want the married people here(unmarried peoople included) to please tell me what it takes to be married. How to know that you are ready for marriage. And how marriage affects ones life (as a woman).
Thanx in advance.

Not being sassy helps

Stillfire:
Don't bring me into this o. I don already post my behavioural pattern on the opening page.
Relationships can exist without the submission principle. I mean if we look at the statistics atheists marriages survive better than christian marriages. What does that tell you? You do not need to apply the submission principle to have a successful marriage. My relationship understands that both parties have equal, legitimate rights. It has served me so far in my relationship.
Submission requires that the wife be silent and yield to authority. Simple English. Every other thing is no more submission.

Provide d stats

freecocoa:
The entitlement mentality is shared by both parties.

I don't remember saying the women are well taken care of, giving money and the amount given are two different things, there's also the case of how often he gives.

Don't change my words.

ok.. i hear

They are collecting the money yet they somehow end up being the sufferer..boohoo

duran2059:
Thanks all for your various contributions, I really appreciate.
Just to clear some issues, I give my fiancé money due to the fact I have to give, not that she can't take care of herself cause she too is from a good home. And for my mom, I give her money cause I feel it's the right thing to do, though my money doesn't add one bit to hers cause she's very okay?
And for those saying I'm a student, well you are wrong cause i'm done with my studies, but my fiancé isn't.
I must say I have learnt a thing or two from everyone of you. Thanks

Bro.. stop that money thing until u wife her if u decide to
Her questions are however indicative of an issue which will come back to haunt you

freecocoa:
Did you not read me saying women end up sacrificing more? Men expect this, thereby act up while at it.

Now this is what i call shortcut to answer mindset

You agree there is an entitlement mentality shared by a large portion of nigerian women
You agree this helps to ensure men's ego are served
You agree the girls are well taken care of

So why do you think this good care, barter style is suffering

freecocoa:
Yes ke, men introduced it, it's for their selfish reasons.

You don't get it, these women give you something in return, that cancels that part of it being a loot, it's trade by barter, in which women even end up sacrificing more.

so where is the suffering.... freecocoa ooo

cococandy:
A woman can have it easy in Nigeria if she's fine with being valued according to her looks and how favorable the men find her.

That's not what life is all about.

if she like it.. why should it be anyone's problem to see it as suffering in naija
Meanwhile this is the same path towed by Kim Kardashain who used her attractiveness and booty to trade in for fame and riches
it is not a new thing

cococandy:

Explain pls. What are u saying that I'm not saying?
Some parents tolerate such, while some don't. My example was just to show you how far some even take it.
I'm not saying they are all poor.

The question was this:
These girls/women that tax thier boyfriends for sustenance... dont they have parents who should do this

freecocoa:
Forgive me If I don't know only women who take their men's money without contributing.
How can you blame the women for a culture that was introduced by the men? He's the one who wants to be "a real man", the one who thinks she's not a real woman, if she has an opinion, so needs to assert his powers by wanting to dominate/dominate her. The men want to win a price, therefore needs to prove himself to get that.
The suffering is that, because of this superiority mentality, men tend to treat women in condescending manner sometimes.

ok... no problem..u can only talk from your own experience

Now the culture was introduced by men?...ok

So are the women suffering.. why do they conveniently forget the loot they share when talking about suffering in naija