You will be alright.
Nothing to be ashamed of, neither should you worry about any mockery.

You need to discuss the terms of divorce properly to accommodate needs of the kids.

Staying financially stable is one important factor.

You might be vulnerable at this point, dont allow anyone take advantage of you.

Lastly, life isn't a competition. Don't be moved by what happens next on the life of your ex.

A Neighbor got divorced with 4 kids, because he ex remarried, she rushed to get married too.
She paid for everything by herself and it didn't end well.

Live your life, you will be fine.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

I can be there for you sexually if you are beautiful. And occasionally help financially. If you're interested.

Advise you do UK and go with your kids if you have the funds

It's the husband and wife separating not the father and the children

HacheNoire:
You will be fine!

Trust me!

But your kids growing up without a fatherly figure, will forever have a psychological impact on them.

The brunt of divorce is bared by the kids. You and their father will be fine.

Abegi make una stop this nonsense “psychological effect“ It’s better to be fatherless than to have a useless father it’s vice versa .

Kids with both mum and sad still end up useless. Kids from a single parent still do well.
The most important is to have either a good father or mother the kids will be good.

My advice to the lady . Don’t remarry for now. If you don’t want your children to suffer.
You can remarry when they’re grown and can fend themselves.
There’s a reason God gave us 2 kidneys but only one is functioning. Madam OP you can do it alone .

just go out there and get a man far better than him to marry

That stuff no easy o but if there's a way of settling it I think its good. I feel the bad side of it dis days as another woman maltreat my baby cos she's not d mother. Court will share the children n it will never favour any of u two. Raising a child is hard most especially if d real mother or father is not available

madone:
Just make sure u remarry. You will be fine . Keep urself beautiful

Marry a divorcee with 3kids...who wan pay their school fees. E no easy o.

signature2012:

In Naija,that’s the reality.You just have to over look many things and face your life.
It won’t be easy at all.Having 3 kids below age 10 will be a lot of work.
Last last,you will be fine .

The man is not dead na. Why are we all making it look like the kids is 100% the woman's responsibility?

madone:
Just make sure u remarry. You will be fine . Keep urself beautiful

Yes but not immediately
She may also need to see a trained counselor to detox
She has to stay friendly with the kids' Dad for the children's sake.
It is not an easy thing from one man to another man with another brand of wahala incubated

BigDawsNet:
Where you based?

Divorce can be pretty expensive
It's fine you have been separated for a while...u won't feel abandoned

They may likely share 2kids under ur custody
the third may join you if your Exhubby is too busy to take care of kids

He will get time to spend with them and you can't deny him by law..

He will take care of their expenses from school fee, feeding and other amenities..

Don't expect anything from him...he doesn't owe you nothing anymore

You may likely get some part of his properties, depends on how the law stands in ur present location...

Move on and you will find your new man

Make dis a lesson and let it help you build your next home...don't repeat any mistakes and all will be well


Goodluck

Which kind talk be this one

HacheNoire:
You will be fine!

Trust me!

But your kids growing up without a fatherly figure, will forever have a psychological impact on them.

The brunt of divorce is bared by the kids. You and their father will be fine.

The father is not dead. The kids will still have a father.

There's nothing there. You're just going to be living the life of a matured single girl with children and lots of responsibilities. You will cope through.
If you're still beautiful, intelligent and with a good attitude, good possibility you will be married again.

Optimistic4life:


The shame, mockery

Perish the thought of these irrelevancies and focus on your happiness.
There is no shame in being divorced.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Really sorry about the situation.
You will do much more than you are doing now to care for them.
A divorced woman an one whose husband died are the same for my eye

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

You won't be taking care of the kids alone.... the kids are also his responsibility.
The court would make him pay child support for them..... while the kids would be rotated amongst the both of you.

This is the end result of too much strong head. I'm sure you will cope quite well as a bitter, divorced woman. There are many of you these days.

U said u wer sapareted for some months, that is how it will be.

You need to become real with your new life and move on, if need be change location.

HacheNoire:
You will be fine!

Trust me!

But your kids growing up without a fatherly figure will forever have a psychological impact on them.

The brunt of divorce is bared by the kids. You and their father will be fine.

What are you even talking about?!!

They are getting divorced not dying! A divorced man can still be a great father if he chooses to be. The same way a married man can decide to be an absentee dad all through his marriage till the kids grow up and away from the home. Besides, widows raise amazing kids all by themselves. We have seen this severally.

Many of us think merely being married and answering father or mother means that the person is truly parenting... Lol!

By the way, a fatherly figure can be anyone who is available to mentor those kids: could be their mum's ever present male companion, brothers, grannies, etc.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

There is no shame in it, and anyone that mocks you because you are a divorcee, is just being petty. Like I've always said marriage is not do or die, if a couple finds it hard living together and temporal separation doesn't resolve it, then the union Should be dissolved.

You don't tell why your husband want you guys divorce. But whatever it may be my sister leave pride aside beg your husband and ask his family to beg him.

Outside is not funny. Be a single mum is not easy. Don't follow advice from some women here, women are the enemy of women. Women don't like each other they will want you to be like them in regret. Tell me how many man ready to accept you with 3kids? Madam beg your husband and be more hard working later you won't get time to fight your husband.

You are intelligent egbon.

davidadenrele:
Hello,
First of all i salute your courage for been able to come out and ask for advice, been a divorcee can be challenging for a woman in typical Nigerian society however i see you forging ahead since you are not afraid, you will have to work very hard let be honest having a kid is not that easy not to talk of 3kids, may I asked you did you request for child support in court while you filing for divorce through your lawyer because you will need child support from your kids father, it's either it's paid in weekly or monthly and its has to be something substaining for you and your kids.

Secondly you have to either work twice or get a business that will help you finance your kids financial burden without you being a burden to your friends and family at this moment Nigeria economy is not smiling at all, it's not easy out there trust me people will give assurance not worry that they will support you it's all a lie no one cares everybody is struggling to survive now in Nigeria. aside yahoo plus boys and ritualist, and politicians.

You will have to sit down a make a plan on how you intend to provide for your kids every month, your house rent, feeding, school fees, extra school needs, what kids of now are days can't do without like bobo, biscuits, sweets and stuffs. Let me be honest with you it's not going to be easy I know of a divorcee with kids it's not an easy task, but with God on your side you will be fine at the end. You will need support you will need assistance and you will your immediate family around you if it's only you it would have been better having to take care of kids in Nigeria of today is like climbing Mount Everest because of their excessive demands, they keep calling Mummy we want this we want that!! You have to be firm with your kids, at the same don't be too rigid and don't be too gentle when applying discipline where necessary at the same time montior them they could embrassed you if your not careful cos when they go hungry they could expose you unintentionally to your next neighbour cos at that moment what they cared about is there belly as its possible if you don't arrived from work in time for them to go and into your next neighbour house will not be a thing of shame to them afterall they have friends as next neighbour. Restrict them from collecting things from strangers, monitor them very well to avoid sexual pedophiles who could take advantage of no father figure in their lives. Provide quality to ensure they do their home work and take their studies seriously.

On a final note be you a Christian or Muslim ensure they observed prayers and good home moral training it's well with you.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Someone is seeking advice and you are bringing your Jesus...this is physical and needs physical solution..Jesus have no business here..

Op, what she needs is Jesus, people that divorce have a very stupid reason. No marriage is perfect on earth including my own but we continue to learn everyday, before, I would never tell my wife sorry but today I have learnt to say sorry immediately I am wrong.. I know a couple that divorce because the man did not give her what you people call head, ego , pride are all reason for divorce, that is why she needs Jesus.

Still better than killing yourselves one day all in the name of marriage.

Eddygourdo:
it appears you really didn't want a divorce. So why didn't you work things out.

It takes two to tangle. It's the husband that divorced her and not the other way.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Let him take two kids and you keep the last born, that way he doesn’t leave you to be at his mercy even after divorce. Trust me, men know nothing about what women go through during marriage, let him have a taste of it after divorce. You also get to pick up your life and bounce back immediately

Life out there for you will depend on you and what you make of it, not what anyone here or elsewhere tells you it will be like.

The shame is only there when you care too much about what people think. They have not walked in your shoes.

The mockery is only there if you are listening to judgers and haters, or imagining what they may be saying to mock you. STOP IT!

Coping with kids:

I hope your husband will be contributing significantly to their upkeep. Still you will need to get a steady source of income.

Be patient with your kids, as even they are dealing with the separation/divorce and they didn’t ask to be born by you both.

Find periodic times for rest and to take care of your own self. Daily, weekly, monthly , yearly. If you are feeling stressed, stop and rest and find a way or someone to which you can express. Nothing wrong with seeing a therapist like the emotionsdoctor.

Believe that you can have a whole new life full of love , fulfillment and happiness.

Your Divorce does not define you!!!

May God grant you strength, courage and wisdom for this new season and beyond. ��

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Whatever led to all of these mess, I hope the family do understand that he doesn't have excuses when it comes to making sure the upkeep of the children is his responsibility?

All of these irreconcilable differences, most na I'm sorry dey solve them but marriages these days na wa.

My dear favour is yours, pay attention to people that shall give u positive energy and give the right advise. And to hell fire with those who shall mock. (in mummy GO's voice).

It won't be easy, but in a bit, all shall be smooth.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

what is the courses of your divorce so we need to advise you into to before your marriage finally collapse if you tell the roots of the courses even if you heed the advice you can settle everything amicably and your home will be sweet forever because the full meaning of marriage is manage each other

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

3 more emotional imbalance young adults will be released in the next decade.

Divorce is not good for young kids.