Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,161,281 members, 7,846,283 topics. Date: Friday, 31 May 2024 at 01:28 PM

What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? - Romance (6) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? (43191 Views)

What's That Red Flag You Are Secretly Attracted To In The Opposite Gender / The First Red Flag You Saw In Your Relationship And Know It Will Not Last. / My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (15) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by Rexymania(m): 12:15pm On Mar 14, 2022
Nice one. E sweet me for body


nurez305:
The first red flag was when she started ignoring my calls.

I went to her house to know what is going on and I met a guy there but he excuse us immediately, later she went to take her bath and drop the phone on the sofa. I was with her phone when the text message from that guy that left enter with only "OK" . then I open the message and I saw the previous conversation between them.

The guy said : when you know your boy-friend is coming to your house today, why did you invite me also to come

My fucking GF replied : he is not my boyfriend, he is only a friend


After reading that, I started sweating inside their house after I have spent on the idiot.

I bought her the phone,
Pay her school fee,
Give her money whenever she ask
When her father died, I paid her trip to and fro and also give her change to hold to her village.


I felt like a loser and was very heartbroken. I summon courage and told her to return back my phone after telling her what I saw in her inbox, she accuse me of checking her messages without her consent and she refuse to give me the phone.

I threten her that if she refuse to return my phone that I won't take it lively with her. She reported me to police and they set a trap for me, she told me to come to somewhere to collect the phone, on getting there, I was arrested and the police force me to write a statement that I will never disturb her because of this phone again. I did and they told me to call one of my relatives to come and bail me and be my witness. I did that and I was granted bail and told us to come the next day.

The next day, the police woman try to settle the issue between us and she said we should not fight each other again and continue our relationship. And the police officer told her to delete all the threat messages I sent to her which he did.


NOW IS MY TURN TO REVENGE
After about 2months that will depart, she taught I have forgotten everything she does to me not knowing that I'm only waiting for the best time to strike her back. I went to area command to hire police, the man charged me 30k and told me not to worried that what she does was very bad. I lead the way to her house and she was shocked to see me again, she quickly call her mum and to tell her, we arrested her in her shop then and the police put an allegation on her that she hire tug to beat me up because I requested for my phone from her. She started crying that is a lie. The police ask for the receipt of the phone from her and she told them that I bought it for her, they collected the phone and detained her until her family show.

I later tell the police to allow her to go but I need to collect the phone. The man said it is important I do that.... After everything, I collected the phone and leave them in the station.


Foolish olosho


1 Like

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by Nobody: 12:17pm On Mar 14, 2022
mybiz234:


It is cotton ball, not cotton board
Cotton ball bawo?
It's cotton bud Biko.
By the way the person you quoted never said cotton board, maybe na ur eyes.

4 Likes

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by Temi2468: 12:18pm On Mar 14, 2022
nurez305:
The first red flag was when she started ignoring my calls.

I went to her house to know what is going on and I met a guy there but he excuse us immediately, later she went to take her bath and drop the phone on the sofa. I was with her phone when the text message from that guy that left enter with only "OK" . then I open the message and I saw the previous conversation between them.

The guy said : when you know your boy-friend is coming to your house today, why did you invite me also to come

My fucking GF replied : he is not my boyfriend, he is only a friend


After reading that, I started sweating inside their house after I have spent on the idiot.

I bought her the phone,
Pay her school fee,
Give her money whenever she ask
When her father died, I paid her trip to and fro and also give her change to hold to her village.


I felt like a loser and was very heartbroken. I summon courage and told her to return back my phone after telling her what I saw in her inbox, she accuse me of checking her messages without her consent and she refuse to give me the phone.

I threten her that if she refuse to return my phone that I won't take it lively with her. She reported me to police and they set a trap for me, she told me to come to somewhere to collect the phone, on getting there, I was arrested and the police force me to write a statement that I will never disturb her because of this phone again. I did and they told me to call one of my relatives to come and bail me and be my witness. I did that and I was granted bail and told us to come the next day.

The next day, the police woman try to settle the issue between us and she said we should not fight each other again and continue our relationship. And the police officer told her to delete all the threat messages I sent to her which he did.


NOW IS MY TURN TO REVENGE
After about 2months that will depart, she taught I have forgotten everything she does to me not knowing that I'm only waiting for the best time to strike her back. I went to area command to hire police, the man charged me 30k and told me not to worried that what she does was very bad. I lead the way to her house and she was shocked to see me again, she quickly call her mum and to tell her, we arrested her in her shop then and the police put an allegation on her that she hire tug to beat me up because I requested for my phone from her. She started crying that is a lie. The police ask for the receipt of the phone from her and she told them that I bought it for her, they collected the phone and detained her until her family show.

I later tell the police to allow her to go but I need to collect the phone. The man said it is important I do that.... After everything, I collected the phone and leave them in the station.


Foolish olosho



The rottenness in Nigeria is such that one would imagine if this nation is still redeemable!

4 Likes

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by Nobody: 12:19pm On Mar 14, 2022
irijuola:


I encountered one recently, his gaslighting skill is top-notch. I've been enduring him but I decided to let him go before he starts to get to me. I warned him about it some time ago and he responded with, "whatever makes you happy". He never stopped. I had to leave before I fall under his gaslighting manipulations. I blocked him everywhere. I saw him yesterday and he was snubbing me. I just ignored him. Good riddance!
They hate when you see through them. The snubbing is also part of the manipulation ,they have various ways of "guilt tripping" and they see the "silent treatment " as a powerful control tool.


More people need to be aware of narcissism, gaslighting and emotional manipulations because ,there are more damaged people out there devolving everyday and developing dangerous personality disorders detrimental to sane and normal socialization and relationships.

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by ProDigitals: 12:26pm On Mar 14, 2022
Lalami3232:
Dem plenty ooooo grin.
Immediately you tell a 9ja babe say get feelings for her, E be like say you dey owe her instantly.
Funny enough, 99.2% no get anything to offer aside that toto wey everybody don chop before you. Even the toto wey majority of dem dey offer isn't even tight.
Na we go still use our own money to buy enlargement pump and cream before we fit enjoy the wide canal wey many of dem dey carry. I doubt if this generation of girls go stay labour room pass 2mins sef. The pikin go swim out with ease grin


I don talk am before and I go talk am again, "a single mother for Europe tight pass our average 9ja babe"


Lmao

1 Like

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by Ebubu: 12:27pm On Mar 14, 2022
irijuola:


I encountered one recently, his gaslighting skill is top-notch. I've been enduring him but I decided to let him go before he starts to get to me. I warned him about it some time ago and he responded with, "whatever makes you happy". He never stopped. I had to leave before I fall under his gaslighting manipulations. I blocked him everywhere. I saw him yesterday and he was snubbing me. I just ignored him. Good riddance!
Give me an instance of his gaslighting

1 Like

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by Bahamas95(m): 12:28pm On Mar 14, 2022
1st Babe......... Pressure/desperation to get married.

2nd Babe........Over sabi (Never takes correction)

3rd Babe......... Keeps grudges (Capable of poisoning someone to death)

4th Babe........ Addicted to alcohol (Apart from that she ain't got any other serious problem)

4 Likes

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by Ebubu: 12:28pm On Mar 14, 2022
Wittyduchess:
They hate when you see through them. The snubbing is also part of the manipulation ,they have various ways of "guilt tripping" and they see the "silent treatment " as a powerful control tool.


More people need to ba aware of narcissism, gaslighting and emotional manipulations because ,there are more damaged people out there devolving everyday and developing dangerous personality disorders detrimental to sane and normal socialization and relationships.
Nne, supu

1 Like

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by ProDigitals: 12:29pm On Mar 14, 2022
nurez305:
The first red flag was when she started ignoring my calls.

I went to her house to know what is going on and I met a guy there but he excuse us immediately, later she went to take her bath and drop the phone on the sofa. I was with her phone when the text message from that guy that left enter with only "OK" . then I open the message and I saw the previous conversation between them.

The guy said : when you know your boy-friend is coming to your house today, why did you invite me also to come

My fucking GF replied : he is not my boyfriend, he is only a friend


After reading that, I started sweating inside their house after I have spent on the idiot.

I bought her the phone,
Pay her school fee,
Give her money whenever she ask
When her father died, I paid her trip to and fro and also give her change to hold to her village.


I felt like a loser and was very heartbroken. I summon courage and told her to return back my phone after telling her what I saw in her inbox, she accuse me of checking her messages without her consent and she refuse to give me the phone.

I threten her that if she refuse to return my phone that I won't take it lively with her. She reported me to police and they set a trap for me, she told me to come to somewhere to collect the phone, on getting there, I was arrested and the police force me to write a statement that I will never disturb her because of this phone again. I did and they told me to call one of my relatives to come and bail me and be my witness. I did that and I was granted bail and told us to come the next day.

The next day, the police woman try to settle the issue between us and she said we should not fight each other again and continue our relationship. And the police officer told her to delete all the threat messages I sent to her which he did.


NOW IS MY TURN TO REVENGE
After about 2months that will depart, she taught I have forgotten everything she does to me not knowing that I'm only waiting for the best time to strike her back. I went to area command to hire police, the man charged me 30k and told me not to worried that what she does was very bad. I lead the way to her house and she was shocked to see me again, she quickly call her mum and to tell her, we arrested her in her shop then and the police put an allegation on her that she hire tug to beat me up because I requested for my phone from her. She started crying that is a lie. The police ask for the receipt of the phone from her and she told them that I bought it for her, they collected the phone and detained her until her family show.

I later tell the police to allow her to go but I need to collect the phone. The man said it is important I do that.... After everything, I collected the phone and leave them in the station.


Foolish olosho





Wicked. You're a demon

1 Like

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by bigcee(m): 12:29pm On Mar 14, 2022
Wittyduchess:
They hate when you see through them. The snubbing is also part of the manipulation ,they have various ways of "guilt tripping" and they see the "silent treatment " as a powerful control tool.


More people need to ba aware of narcissism, gaslighting and emotional manipulations because ,there are more damaged people out there devolving everyday and developing dangerous personality disorders detrimental to sane and normal socialization and relationships.
Learn to work on yourself so that next time they won't target you. They can spot their prey from a distance.

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by wisdomkid: 12:30pm On Mar 14, 2022
Lalami3232:
Dem plenty ooooo grin.
I don talk am before and I go talk am again, "a single mother for Europe tight pass our average 9ja babe"

talking little sense before vooom! start comparison. If our naija girls de behave like the single europe women, na prison you go dey go straight. Stupid argument without background.

2 Likes

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by bigcee(m): 12:30pm On Mar 14, 2022
Ebubu:
Give me an instance of his gaslighting
Go and watch the 1944 movie GASLIGHT. You'll understand better.

1 Like

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by AfroKnight: 12:31pm On Mar 14, 2022
She get small yansh. I thought I could go ahead since she was pretty and well spoken, but no, I had to tell myself the truth: yansh is very important.

Cc: Magnoliaa

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by We4all: 12:33pm On Mar 14, 2022
moralex:
meet someone like that too, doesn't know who Elon musk is and Tasla

So? Does that make her daft? Those info are general knowledge and not a measure of intelligence.

A presenter once asked an American billionaire who Kim Kardashian was and he didn’t know. Does that make him stupid?

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by SandraIkuboR(f): 12:33pm On Mar 14, 2022
Prechgold1180:
Good evening everyone
Came across this exact topic on Facebook
What is the biggest red flag you have ever spotted at the begging of a new relationship

Would love to get comments concerning this topic

BRB for my own REDFLAG
My biggest red flag was Weakness!!
Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by Connected1: 12:33pm On Mar 14, 2022
toobusy:
........I just saw a thread where you were complaining about your brother who is constantly monitoring you, restricting you from all social network and wouldn't let u Ming with others,you also claimed to be in ur mid-teen.......how come you already had a date to the extent of observing a turn off at the beginning..... are we supposed to believe you have already started dating in ur mid-teen or was the other thread all about chasing shadows?.
That Brother is doing a good job, I saw the thread too.

This girl is about to be damaged sef.
Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by JrTahir(m): 12:36pm On Mar 14, 2022
Beebah2000:
Small pencil. sad

If you don't get it, forget about it. undecided


Hahah
Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by ProDigitals: 12:37pm On Mar 14, 2022
Wittyduchess:
They hate when you see through them. The snubbing is also part of the manipulation ,they have various ways of "guilt tripping" and they see the "silent treatment " as a powerful control tool.


More people need to ba aware of narcissism, gaslighting and emotional manipulations because ,there are more damaged people out there devolving everyday and developing dangerous personality disorders detrimental to sane and normal socialization and relationships.



Its not gender based
Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by We4all: 12:38pm On Mar 14, 2022
Offpoint1:
She doesn't know who Einstein or Isaac Newton was, couldn't held any intelligent conversation.

Who is Jonas Edward Salk? I bet you don’t know who that is. Does that make you dumb? No, because general knowledge isn’t a measure of intelligence.

Most people that know about Isaac Newton and Albert Eistein towed the science part in school. An art student will hardly know who they are.

10 Likes

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by greypencils: 12:39pm On Mar 14, 2022
When I saw how my ex was verbally abusive to her younger sibling and how she always picked quarrels with everybody even to the extent of fighting in her school hostel while always being sweet with me, calling me pet names, using 'E' to address me instead of 'O', (Yoruba people understand this). I knew it was only a matter of time before she changed it for me with her real, quarrelsome character showing.

23 Likes 1 Share

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by odaniel1(m): 12:41pm On Mar 14, 2022
She kept asking me if I could cope with her and her weaknesses. I know as a couple, you accept the other individual. But I sensed something unacceptable as her underlying reason for the question.
A week after the break-up, aunty was frolicking around with guys on a speedboat cruise in Marina.

May our eyes never be closed...

20 Likes

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by Oturatetuala(m): 12:41pm On Mar 14, 2022
She was fucking too lousy and was nagging too much. Damn!!!

4 Likes

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by Offpoint1: 12:42pm On Mar 14, 2022
We4all:


Who is Jonas Edward Salk? I bet you don’t know who that is. Does that make you dumb? No, because general knowledge isn’t a measure of intelligence.

Most people that know about Isaac Newton and Albert Eistein towed the science part in school. An art student will hardly know who they are.
Read that commend slowly, like very slowly till the end, I can't be an African and don't know who Jonas was.
Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by humility33(m): 12:44pm On Mar 14, 2022
moralex:
meet someone like that too, doesn't know who Elon musk is and Tasla

I can affirm to what you just wrote

One does not know what is a petroleum refinery sef
Some ladies eehh they even equip themselves

2 Likes

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by pheranme9(m): 12:45pm On Mar 14, 2022
Bad guy loll
nurez305:
The first red flag was when she started ignoring my calls.

I went to her house to know what is going on and I met a guy there but he excuse us immediately, later she went to take her bath and drop the phone on the sofa. I was with her phone when the text message from that guy that left enter with only "OK" . then I open the message and I saw the previous conversation between them.

The guy said : when you know your boy-friend is coming to your house today, why did you invite me also to come

My fucking GF replied : he is not my boyfriend, he is only a friend


After reading that, I started sweating inside their house after I have spent on the idiot.

I bought her the phone,
Pay her school fee,
Give her money whenever she ask
When her father died, I paid her trip to and fro and also give her change to hold to her village.


I felt like a loser and was very heartbroken. I summon courage and told her to return back my phone after telling her what I saw in her inbox, she accuse me of checking her messages without her consent and she refuse to give me the phone.

I threten her that if she refuse to return my phone that I won't take it lively with her. She reported me to police and they set a trap for me, she told me to come to somewhere to collect the phone, on getting there, I was arrested and the police force me to write a statement that I will never disturb her because of this phone again. I did and they told me to call one of my relatives to come and bail me and be my witness. I did that and I was granted bail and told us to come the next day.

The next day, the police woman try to settle the issue between us and she said we should not fight each other again and continue our relationship. And the police officer told her to delete all the threat messages I sent to her which he did.


NOW IS MY TURN TO REVENGE
After about 2months that will depart, she taught I have forgotten everything she does to me not knowing that I'm only waiting for the best time to strike her back. I went to area command to hire police, the man charged me 30k and told me not to worried that what she does was very bad. I lead the way to her house and she was shocked to see me again, she quickly call her mum and to tell her, we arrested her in her shop then and the police put an allegation on her that she hire tug to beat me up because I requested for my phone from her. She started crying that is a lie. The police ask for the receipt of the phone from her and she told them that I bought it for her, they collected the phone and detained her until her family show.

I later tell the police to allow her to go but I need to collect the phone. The man said it is important I do that.... After everything, I collected the phone and leave them in the station.


Foolish olosho


Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by nurez305(m): 12:47pm On Mar 14, 2022
ProDigitals:




Wicked. You're a demon
yes I am , but she is a saint
Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by We4all: 12:47pm On Mar 14, 2022
udomonday:
Selfishness. Took her to a restaurant she ate like someone who has been starving for the past one week. dipped her spoon into my plate and packed all the meat and put them in her plate.and kept wolving everything down. after that I just played along and bleeped her to my satisfaction and made a quick fade.

Some people are shameless. A guy took a lady out and she gulped 7 glasses of yoghurt. I was dumbfounded.

8 Likes

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by Nobody: 12:48pm On Mar 14, 2022
bigcee:

Learn to work on yourself so that next time they won't target you. They can spot their prey from a distance.
Not True , they are everywhere ,in your family, work place, church, as your neighbor , anywhere and everywhere.


And don't make this about me, i know it gives you and your kind adrenaline rush to find ways to blame the victim and even more so if it's a woman. No disrespect, but just shut up.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by Connected1: 12:50pm On Mar 14, 2022
nurez305:
The first red flag was when she started ignoring my calls.

I went to her house to know what is going on and I met a guy there but he excuse us immediately, later she went to take her bath and drop the phone on the sofa. I was with her phone when the text message from that guy that left enter with only "OK" . then I open the message and I saw the previous conversation between them.

The guy said : when you know your boy-friend is coming to your house today, why did you invite me also to come

My fucking GF replied : he is not my boyfriend, he is only a friend


After reading that, I started sweating inside their house after I have spent on the idiot.

I bought her the phone,
Pay her school fee,
Give her money whenever she ask
When her father died, I paid her trip to and fro and also give her change to hold to her village.


I felt like a loser and was very heartbroken. I summon courage and told her to return back my phone after telling her what I saw in her inbox, she accuse me of checking her messages without her consent and she refuse to give me the phone.

I threten her that if she refuse to return my phone that I won't take it lively with her. She reported me to police and they set a trap for me, she told me to come to somewhere to collect the phone, on getting there, I was arrested and the police force me to write a statement that I will never disturb her because of this phone again. I did and they told me to call one of my relatives to come and bail me and be my witness. I did that and I was granted bail and told us to come the next day.

The next day, the police woman try to settle the issue between us and she said we should not fight each other again and continue our relationship. And the police officer told her to delete all the threat messages I sent to her which he did.


NOW IS MY TURN TO REVENGE
After about 2months that will depart, she taught I have forgotten everything she does to me not knowing that I'm only waiting for the best time to strike her back. I went to area command to hire police, the man charged me 30k and told me not to worried that what she does was very bad. I lead the way to her house and she was shocked to see me again, she quickly call her mum and to tell her, we arrested her in her shop then and the police put an allegation on her that she hire tug to beat me up because I requested for my phone from her. She started crying that is a lie. The police ask for the receipt of the phone from her and she told them that I bought it for her, they collected the phone and detained her until her family show.

I later tell the police to allow her to go but I need to collect the phone. The man said it is important I do that.... After everything, I collected the phone and leave them in the station.


Foolish olosho


Chaii

You did the right thing absolutely.

You could have made them stay in cell for atleast 8 weeks.

That's the more reason I don't on women, they can never know the importance.

1 Like

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by Nobody: 12:50pm On Mar 14, 2022
ProDigitals:




Its not gender based
Men are more enabled due to patriarchy. Men have more opportunities to devolve and get away with it. Infact being toxic to some is a "manly trait", Most people don't even know how to differentiate being toxic from being manly.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? by irijuola: 12:51pm On Mar 14, 2022
Wittyduchess:
They hate when you see through them. The snubbing is also part of the manipulation ,they have various ways of "guilt tripping" and they see the "silent treatment " as a powerful control tool.


More people need to ba aware of narcissism, gaslighting and emotional manipulations because ,there are more damaged people out there devolving everyday and developing dangerous personality disorders detrimental to sane and normal socialization and relationships.

I think he got disappointed at a point when he’ll try to provoke a reaction from me and I’ll just give him a blank. Sometimes, I’ll start pitying him and wonder what damaged him to this extent

2 Likes

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (15) (Reply)

Nigerian Men Want Miss Sahhara, The Transgender / Man Flies In From Liberia To Propose To His Nigerian Fiancee On New Year's Day / All The Men I Cooked For Didn't Marry Me - Young Lady Recounts On Twitter

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 96
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.