Queendera:
Obviously, she's manipulating you and you're falling for it continuously.

If you are the type that value your mental health and peace of mind, I'll say, please pack your bags and never look back.

You know why?

This manipulation will continue because she already had a fixed image, of not only you, but men in general at heart.

To her, you're nothing more than a "pen!s"

And that's what she uses to judge you.

And no you didn't rape her but instead of you to shout at her and make her accept responsibility for the act which obviously was performed by the two of you, you cowered and tried to be on the moral ground which doesn't exist.

She will continue to manipulate you like that, her friend is already a record holder.

In the future, more people will hold different receipts of any "wrong" you do to make sure that you are always guilty.

They don't change sir. They don't change. Marriage won't change her.

And let me say this, she's probably a church girl. Not judging but this is their general behavior

lebron7:

Omo this nairaland is filled with scary people
Like he says with his mouth that she resists everytime sef but her resistance is not enough!! Like
Op is a rapist and the girl is weird to have been with someone like him for such a period of time

BRATISLAVA:


Convinced that person is one of the good girls or has a penis. She/he is on every thread justifying anything men do and claiming the girls are manipulative or evil.

Perhaps they want accolades for being very reasonable and agreeable to the majority users. Bet you they'll gender bend soon.

Sunwa1:
Hello Romancelanders,

There's is this lady I have been in relationship with since last year. The relationship wasn't that defined but it was a romantic one (kissing and smooshing), you know how it goes sometimes, that you have to struggle with the lady while making moves and eventually she will give in to your romantic demands.

It has been like that for a while but something eventful happened sometime in October last year, while we were deep in romance, i made moves to have sex with her but she resisted but her resistance wasn't that convincing, though she released herself to me but kept asking me to stop, but at that point I was deeply carried away and even thought it was her normal way of struggling with me anytime I made moves on her. Some how, I had my way, i had sex with her without any physical resistance from her aside the shouts of "please stop".

Alas, when I was done with the act, she started crying and I felt so bad because I honestly taught we were in the game together.

My greatest shock was when one of her friend's called me and said her friend said I raped her and that changed the whole narratives and projected me as a rapist. I was afraid because I know the consequences of such accusation but somehow the matter died down after a while and we continued where we stopped though we never had sex again.

My challenge now is that the lady often says she dosent trust me and CANNOT trust me with her female friends, sisters or even our daughter if we get married.

I proposed to marry her just a couple of weeks ago, she's is yet to respond but I fear that the impression she has about me being a rapist and that she can't trust me with our daughter might affect our home if we eventually get married.

I want her but I just fear that this trust issue will cause a lot of havoc which might negatively impact on our marriage in future.

Please, I need your advice especially from the ladies.

Should I go ahead with my plans to marry this lady especially considering the fact that I'm a very emotional person.

Please, shoot your shots without insults.

Will be at the comment session.

Thanks.

Sixfeetbelle:


That's a guy behind that moniker. Have come across their posts couple of times to deduce with accuracy that the person behind that particular moniker has a dangling between their legs

etrange:


And no where in your speculations do you think the guy might have forcefully had his way with her even when his write-up alluded to that? You don't think that's a possibility too? She made the guy feel bad for sleeping with her by accusing him of rape to a third party who now see the guy as a rapist, and the guy, who knows he was accused/lied against, decided to apologize by proposing marriage, right? According to you, couples who probably have kids remaining in marriage after one party accuses the other of wrongful sexual acts is a good analogy to explain why a single guy would stick with and propose marriage to a woman who accused of being a rapist despite the weight such accusations carry? It's not possible that's just because there's an element of truth in her words and he knows it? It's just amazing how you're defending the OP more than the OP himself while turning a blind eye to other possibilities simply because you feel the need to align with one gender.

etrange:


And no where in your speculations do you think the guy might have forcefully had his way with her even when his write-up alluded to that? You don't think that's a possibility too? She made the guy feel bad for sleeping with her by accusing him of rape to a third party who now see the guy as a rapist, and the guy, who knows he was accused/lied against, decided to apologize by proposing marriage, right? According to you, couples who probably have kids remaining in marriage after one party accuses the other of wrongful sexual acts is a good analogy to explain why a single guy would stick with and propose marriage to a woman who accused of being a rapist despite the weight such accusations carry? It's not possible that's just because there's an element of truth in her words and he knows it? It's just amazing how you're defending the OP more than the OP himself while turning a blind eye to other possibilities simply because you feel the need to align with one gender.

Queendera:
don't let any of these guys here guilt trip you.

I know the kind of girl that she is. Too well.

It's probably right now to the point where sometimes you feel as though she feels she's doing you a favor by dating you.

Every show of affection from her is usually promised till after marriage. She doesn't even know how to show that she loves you and most times you find yourself doubting this una love.

See, your mistake was letting her guilt trip you into accepting that you raped her.

If she brings that up next time, I want you to flare up. Get so angry that she either left or beg you.

Give her the cold shoulder for a while, maybe a week or more. Reduce your show of affection.

Constantly hammer it into her head how important sex is to you.

Most importantly, never ever accept her position on matters concerning sex and the relationship.

Be the man. Make sure she follows your instructions.

And try to seduce her every time you meet. Never leave her happy if she doesn't give you sex when you want it. Leave with your silent anger and make sure she's aware that you are angry.

The problem with most of you guys is that you are too afraid to force submissions from your woman.

Relationship power is not given, it must be taken and you're slacking.

If you don't stand your ground now, your daughter will be weaponized against you in the future

advanceDNA:


Defend??...lol...this of funny...i only looked at it from an side different from urs.....
Every matter can have different angles , because We all look issues differently.....sometimes based on how we feel, our personal past experience, or others' experience...

The angle i view it from is that if a woman went thru a traumatic and horrible experience called rape, which is what rape is.......the post-rape behaviour shouldnt involve continously dating her rapist ......

Now..here are a few of the post-rape outcomes i noticed in this story...
1...she tagged her boyfriend a future rapist of his own child ...a bit extreme..but yeah...an agreeable conclusion for a woman who just went through a traumatic and horrible experience

Outcome 2: She's still dating the rapist....

My point all along is ...both outcomes are a mismatch ....if she sees the dude as a potential child rapist...how is she still relating with him let alone dating him, to the point of him proposing.

I was expecting a more extreme outcome to follow tagging him a potential child rapist like an arrest because it isnt like she ddnt want anyone to know she was raped...

Which was why i felt like the babe is trying to make the nigga feel more horrible than the face-value of the outcome of the supposed rape scenario.....

etrange:


I never expected you to see it from my POV. I expected to simply acknowledge the possibility of the fact that the OP actually had sex with the lady without her consent. That's one singular possibility you're shying away from and that makes your submission very biased because the story has a lot of pointers to that possibility.

You think that tagging someone a rapist and still dating the person is a mismatch because you understand how serious the allegation is. But somehow you don't think it's a mismatch to propose marriage to someone wrongly accused of rape knowing how serious such an allegation is? Sir, it's very obvious you only see what you want to see.

Queendera:
Obviously, she's manipulating you and you're falling for it continuously.

If you are the type that value your mental health and peace of mind, I'll say, please pack your bags and never look back.

You know why?

This manipulation will continue because she already had a fixed image, of not only you, but men in general at heart.

To her, you're nothing more than a "pen!s"

And that's what she uses to judge you.

And no you didn't rape her but instead of you to shout at her and make her accept responsibility for the act which obviously was performed by the two of you, you cowered and tried to be on the moral ground which doesn't exist.

She will continue to manipulate you like that, her friend is already a record holder.

In the future, more people will hold different receipts of any "wrong" you do to make sure that you are always guilty.

They don't change sir. They don't change. Marriage won't change her.

And let me say this, she's probably a church girl. Not judging but this is their general behavior

advanceDNA:


Yes he may have continued the relationship ..if he felt she's just over reacting...

besides..proposing now may mean its something he wanted to do initially ....so her mover reacting ddnt chnage his decision to propose........proposing might also be his way of apologizng and showing he doesnt just want sex from her but marriage

advanceDNA:


..i dont undertsand how serious the allegation is?? Lol....u can assume weteva u like....if u were not trying to see only what u want, u would have seen i just a devil's advocate.. which i do

In other news.....If u want me to see that the allegation is serious to u....dont date ur rapist after raping you

advanceDNA:
....dont date ur rapist after raping you

advanceDNA:
u would have seen i just a devil's advocate.. which i do

yrhuhfy113:


see bro, MOVE ON.... you heard her say STOP, you didnt stop, YOU STILL WENT AHEAD TO FULFILL YOUR SELFISH LUST ON HER....

thinking you are the boss.... not knowing you destroyed her TRUST....

SEE, there is no way in LIFE that lady will TRUST OR RESPECT YOU.

If you love yourself.... LEAVE HER PEACEFULLY.

ELSE YOU MAY NOT LIVE LONG TO TELL THE STORY.... she will take precautions and you will be the victim

advanceDNA:
....dont date ur rapist after raping you

siofra:
Cognitive dissonance.

advanceDNA:
Yes he may have continued the relationship ..if he felt she's just over reacting...

etrange:

Shouldn't we also say "you shouldn't propose marriage to a girl who deliberately accused you wrongly"? If you can't get yourself to say that or ponder on it, then you're burying your head in the sand here for obvious reasons.

Persephone1:
There is a way your DNA will so ADVANCE that little comprehension will be impossible. and you end up sounding ADVANCELY stupiid

Magnoliaa:


And she might have stayed in the relationship with him, if she was under-rating her feelings and experience?



Like, wtf is this logic sef?

You think something doesn't have validity just because a person is still staying there?

So many black people are still living in America, by your logic, that means racism doesn't exist because THEY ARE STILL THERE?

Nairaland is toxic, but you're still here.

Transportation is costly but you're still entering buses to your place of work or buying fuel for your car.

If people HAVE TO leave a place for it to count as truth to you, then nobody in the country really has to be doing anything?

Magnoliaa:




Shocking things we see on Nairaland everyday.

Especially romance section. . One of the reasons I don't engage guys in discourse here. They won't see REASONING even if it is dancing KEREWA on their nose .

They are always right.

Magnoliaa:


And don't propose marriage to your accuser after accusing you falsely?




Like, what don't you get in what she's trying to make you see?

ThatrealestApex:


How do you guys even do these things? Like allowing a girl manipulate you too easily?

The moment she started behaving as if the sex we're about to have isn't consensual, trust me, someone like me would've lost erection long ago that I won't even look her way again,

Next time, she'll never try that stunt again with me!

As it stands now, you're having a very complex issue, because if you wan chicken out now, she'll say it's because you've gotten what you wanted na and she might bring up the rape case and boom, you don enter prison,

On the other hand, if you come marry her, she' might always try to remind you of how you raped her blah blah at every slightest provocations!

Omoh

advanceDNA:
Yawn!!! Nairaland and horrifying/traumatic rape experiencee is what u are comparing together?? Lol....Mayb u should ask yourself what kinda logic that is...

Sunwa1:
Hello Romancelanders,

There's is this lady I have been in relationship with since last year. The relationship wasn't that defined but it was a romantic one (kissing and smooshing), you know how it goes sometimes, that you have to struggle with the lady while making moves and eventually she will give in to your romantic demands.

It has been like that for a while but something eventful happened sometime in October last year, while we were deep in romance, i made moves to have sex with her but she resisted but her resistance wasn't that convincing, though she released herself to me but kept asking me to stop, but at that point I was deeply carried away and even thought it was her normal way of struggling with me anytime I made moves on her. Some how, I had my way, i had sex with her without any physical resistance from her aside the shouts of "please stop ".

Alas, when I was done with the act, she started crying and I felt so bad because I honestly taught we were in the game together.

My greatest shock was when one of her friend's called me and said her friend said I raped her and that changed the whole narratives and projected me as a rapist. I was afraid because I know the consequences of such accusation but somehow the matter died down after a while and we continued where we stopped though we never had sex again.

My challenge now is that the lady often says she dosent trust me and CANNOT trust me with her female friends, sisters or even our daughter if we get married.

I proposed to marry her just a couple of weeks ago, she's is yet to respond but I fear that the impression she has about me being a rapist and that she can't trust me with our daughter might affect our home if we eventually get married.

I want her but I just fear that this trust issue will cause a lot of havoc which might negatively impact on our marriage in future.

Please, I need your advice especially from the ladies.

Should I go ahead with my plans to marry this lady especially considering the fact that I'm a very emotional person.

Please, shoot your shots without insults.

Will be at the comment session.

Thanks.

advanceDNA:
If u make ur rapist feel like what happened means nothing by continuously having him around and dating him....he wont go ahead to think its okay to propose