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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father (35162 Views)
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Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by PROPEACE: 3:11pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
MetaBroadband:Years from now, this scenario may repeat itself, your would be son in law may find himself asking your daughter in the future if he should come to see you or not. Be careful with bitter women and their daughters, lest you end up sharing their beef and enemies 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Nobody: 3:12pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
MetaBroadband: Your own family should insist on seeing the biological father. If you go on with the marriage, you should be ready to be treated as a scum because you will definitely dance to her mother's tunes |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Impera(m): 3:12pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
I don't know about your tradition. Where I come from step father no fit collect bride price on someone else pikin o...whether he trained her or not the biological father and his kin own the child...except if her biological father did not pay bride price for your mother-in-law. |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Micheal56: 3:12pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
Femi8586:Truth be told Every human have bad side You only ignore flaws due to love Even if the man get something to say he no matter The foster father is the real man here |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by thinkmoney(m): 3:12pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:Ok, ur intellectual capacity, comprehension ability and honesty have been clearly shown now. It will be unwise for me to continue with u again now |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Micheal56: 3:13pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
Ade1177:Bro to be honest no be joke My cousin sis mak marry last 6month don divorce because of her bad attitude Forming posh with 0naira 1 Like |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by emonis88: 3:13pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
Make sure she is not the type that il do same to u in future o! |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Umadam: 3:14pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
I can never marry any idiot without meeting with the biological father, if the man is still alive, what ever been the situation, let me hear from both mouths. Look, alot of things happens in life, if u dont want to be treated the way her mother may have treated that man, know the situations.. Dont even make any mistake all in the name of one useless love.. |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Hangulsaram: 3:15pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
Dtruthspeaker:What is this one saying? You will grow old one day to understand |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by tempex88(m): 3:15pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
You must meet the Father. You don't need his opinion or story about what happened, but you need his blessings. You also need the step fathers blessings too. Avoid the too many versions of what happened. stay with your woman and build your own home. 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Didi2d(m): 3:15pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
MetaBroadband: This topic or story is somehow touching and sensitive to me. My simple advice for you brother is, no matter what transpired between the mother and father please try to see that man. Meet your fiance biological father before you pay bride price. |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Ufuka: 3:16pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
Iam so shocked by many people's comment here, I hardly comment but I have to do so cos this's a matter between life and death. In Akwa Ibom State, there's no amendment to custom and tradition, don't allow your fiancee or your future mother inlaw to lead you astray, for the sake of your fiancee's life. Listen very well, go and get the marriage list from your fiancee's biological father, the bride price and every other thing should be paid to him, his kinsmen & your fiancee's mum alone. The marriage should be done in his hometown and he's the one to sit as a father that very day. Any amount of money you can afford, give it to the man that took care of your fiancee. If your fiancee and the mother refuse to accept it, please and please cancel the marriage. A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Guyman01: 3:16pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
Curiosity killed the cat đ leave matter wey no concern you and focus on your wife and the man she calls father is her father, forget about biology. To raise that girl her foster father must have performed certain traditional rights granting him fatherhood over her and not her biological father. In many cultures a child born out of wedlock belongs to the grandfather and he can give her to the man who later marries her mother to raise as his child after informing the community and performing the cultural rights. The sperm donor is not the owner of the child but the man the family gave custody after marrying their daughter 1 Like |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Emir8: 3:18pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
Why marrying a lady from a complex background? Some men just see problem and put their head because of good sex experience. If you didn't visit the father, he may come for you spiritually. I will never marry a lady that her parents are not together. You will have to fight that pattern for the lady to stay in your house. |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Joseph77200(m): 3:18pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
bukatyne: I'm not even surprised you are a lady so I know how you all do reason but I am not the one who needed the advice you can direct it to the man who is here seeking for opinions by telling him to end the relationship if he doesn't believe the story he was told by the mother and daughter. |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Femi8586(m): 3:19pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
IamMobisola: Read OP's posts and response to people very well..he said his fiance told him her biological father is aware she's getting married and has consented to it already. When OP requested to see the man himself personally, she and her mother objected saying No. Is she being truthful here to you? Let's even assume she and her mother are not lying, OP has the right to see the man nevertheless, not because he's entitled to anything but to hear his side of the story(so far the man is alive) |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Kobojunkie: 3:21pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
thinkmoney:Liar! |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Emaprince: 3:21pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
IamMobisola:Orphans are not red flags. But kids trained by single mothers are red flags...unless the woman is a true born again. Women are very bad in instilling discipline in their kids when their is a father figure missing. You are a woman so ofcourse yoo would support the lady from an emotional point. Truth is any man that wants peace and wants to run his home very well should do a lot of background check on his wife to be...and it includes finding out her relationship with her dad, like in this case..and the actual cause of the break up. Only a foolish man who have been pusssy whipped will accept that stupid advice from his fiance. |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by jackmrandy: 3:21pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
MetaBroadband: the man did not abandone them /her. Tell her to tell you the full story. you might be shocked at what the real dad will tell you and why things happened the way it happened. try and hear the story from both side. tell the real dad you want to marry her daughter. I believe you are a man too, so do whats right when it comes to marriage issue. except if he not alive anymore, then you can pay to the step dad. but if he is alive, my brother go and meet him 1 Like |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by bukatyne(f): 3:24pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
IamMobisola: It is not that hard. After all, there are plenty single ladies in Nigeria. 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by bukatyne(f): 3:25pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
Joseph77200: Didn't you see the big bright F in front of my moniker before quoting me the first time? Why would you be surprised that I am a lady? 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by HopeSpencer: 3:26pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
Micheal56: Rest |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Nyceguy92: 3:26pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
Solution to this matter is deeply rooted in the prevailing tradition of your fiancee's community. As long as you know that the biological father is still alive and can be located, you cannot carry out marriage rites without his knowledge. It is not entirely your fiancee's role to dictate who you see. In fact, the biological stepfather should actually be the one to advise you to go see the girl's father. After the marriage, you can decide which of the fathers you want to deal more with going forward. 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Emaprince: 3:27pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
Why would any man even consider marrying a woman who doesn't want him to meet her real dad. The kind men that exist these days sef. If you dump this girl, will anything happen to you? |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by bukatyne(f): 3:27pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
AmazonTopaz: By now, there should have been changes to it. Even if anyone is to contact the deadbeat father or his family, it should be the girl's mother. Interestingly, if it were the son getting married, the father is not needed enough to start hunting for him. (At least in Yoruba land) 1 Like |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Femi8586(m): 3:28pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
Micheal56: No one is writing off the foster father here.. Marriage is a delicate institution Let him see the biological father first...it is not good to trust his fiance blindly on something that may come back to haunt him in future. He should trust, but also verify Why is she and her mother getting so angry with this? If all they said were completely true and the man is a complete deadbeat father, they have nothing to be worried about. Why is she becoming so bitter at any mention of her biological father? |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Iliveforever(m): 3:28pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
MetaBroadband: Iâm a fellow guy like you, but if Iâm the girl in question, I wouldnât mind dumping you immediately because the way you reason is too stupid and naive. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Emmanuel909090: 3:30pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
MetaBroadband: If you meet him or not he will still live, but trend with care, a girl that is against you meeting her biological father is a bad sign for me. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by alizma: 3:31pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
MetaBroadband:If her mother has truly accept you as son in law to be, talk to your fiancee to see how both of you can, in agreement, convince the mother to temper justice with mercy so that she can allow you guys to meet the man and possibly get his blessings. That doesn't mean he now has right to cross his boundary but to fulfill certain things. The fact that she can't forget she has a biological father create a natural gap wide enough not to be ignored. For everything we do on earth, there is a punishment or reward. God will handle the man for not take appreciate care of the girl and should the girl also refused to honor the father, she will get her own punishment too. God didn't say honor only your responsible father and mother so that your days will be long. |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by Kobojunkie: 3:32pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
Nyceguy92:Interesting claim! So in the case the mother got the girl from a sperm-bank donor, your tradition demands you locate the donor â who was probably paid for his sperm at the time â to hand over her bride price to him? Africansâ you all need to heal yourselves of what is obvious cultural foolishness! 4 Likes |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by vislabraye(m): 3:33pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
MetaBroadband: Do as she wishes. Parenthood goes beyond being biological. It would be unfair of you not to acknowledge the "parents" who took good care of her. Most people think the natural father or mother has some sort of authority. That's not true. There are so many evil blood parents around. Listen to news. Don't deprive her adopted parents of the honour they deserve. 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Meet Her Biological Father Before Paying Bride-Price To Her Step-father by AmazonTopaz(f): 3:33pm On Jun 01, 2023 |
bukatyne:There would be no changes because it benefits men. It is their get-out-of-responsibility-free card. The OP in my view is in no position to contact the biological father. It is illogical to do this and so I agree that it should be the mother of the girl and by reasons best known to her if she doesn't want to do it the OP should respect it he has no standing on this issue. If I were the deadbeat father shame go catch me and you would not even see me there I will just be minding my business but men unfortunately are allowed to be shameless in this society. 2 Likes |
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